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Well, I did it; I "finished" this one-year experiment as to whether I could change my life from one of depression and sadness and lack of confidence and anger and illness to one where I feel happy to live, confident, self-assured and able to face whatever the world brings ( Read more... )

Out of the box: where the magic happens. Trust.

Having a tough couple of days. I'm very tired and very preoccupied with a lot of different things: (non)relationship with my mother, the confederate flag and the hate that goes with it, political strife and rhetoric, grandchild coming and my disappointment with the circumstances, choreographies, creation of a new fitness format. So much going on in ( Read more... )

I'm purposely stepping out of my comfort zone to where I know for a certainty I'll be nervous and tense and perhaps a little panicked ( Read more... )

Recently, I complained to my current belly dance instructor that I think dance just doesn't want me anymore. It's not the first time I've said that or something similar. I attributed it to the onslaught (I used the word "attack") that I and my family have been dealing with over the last couple of weeks. But here's the thing: this keeps ( Read more... )

In addition to this year's theme ("it's what you don't spend"), I need to revive a past theme to run in tandem: The Year of Conquering Fear." This time I need to apply it to performing. I believe I mentioned this in a promise to me in my dance journal but still, the fear rises up in waves and I've only been "out" to do a studio workshop, not a ( Read more... )

Going up to see my sister tomorrow. Sounds so strange to say that. I have a sister. An actual sister. I'm a little afraid of this relationship. Although we're very much alike, we're also very different. It's been almost 40 years. I've changed A LOT. I don't know her anymore ... and yet I do. Sounds like a big ball of confusion ( Read more... )

A setback is just a setback, not a failure. Something else will come along to make up for what I've lost. But if it doesn't, I'm resourceful. I will make a new opportunity.

Keeping the faith.

It just occurred to me that in the space of about 10 days, I've gone from no dance (besides what I teach) all the way up to four numbers to choreograph or resuscitate and three upcoming performances. Always feast or famine with me ( Read more... )