Out of the box: where the magic happens. Trust.

Went to the memorial of Jesus Christ's death tonight. The talk was excellent, thought-provoking. I want to get back to the meetings but dread getting back to "religion," per se. But I miss learning and I miss hearing talks from the podium. I wonder if I'll ever be able to "hear" again, without all the negative memories and self-talk. And 95% of ( Read more... )

Feeling blue. Not sure why. Doesn't matter. Life is good and I'm happy overall. Sometimes blue is just blue.

I'm purposely stepping out of my comfort zone to where I know for a certainty I'll be nervous and tense and perhaps a little panicked ( Read more... )

What the hell does the universe have against me traveling? Back in August I missed the convention due to meningitis. Now, just three days prior to our 25th anniversary cruise, I have a severe stomach problem and can't even stand up, now that the projectile vomiting is done. It's amazing. Some health problem happens every time I'm supposed to ( Read more... )

Going up to see my sister tomorrow. Sounds so strange to say that. I have a sister. An actual sister. I'm a little afraid of this relationship. Although we're very much alike, we're also very different. It's been almost 40 years. I've changed A LOT. I don't know her anymore ... and yet I do. Sounds like a big ball of confusion ( Read more... )

Having slept on it, I'm feeling better about dancing next Friday and about doing the work for this class. All my life, I've been a confident performer. It's stunning to me that I'm having such difficulty finding that confidence ( Read more... )

I'm back in belly dance class but this time it's really serious. The workload - homework, research, big decisions, planning for performance piece development, costume development - none of which includes actual practicing - has me feeling a little scared. I haven't worked so hard in dance since my college days ( Read more... )

Good thing I'm no longer permitting myself to fall into all-or-nothing thinking. If I were, I might think the first few days of this year are a bad omen for the rest of the year. But no, it's just a few bad days.

Doors close, windows will open. If not, I'll have to set about finding an alternate route.

So here we are; another new year. Not to be a grinch but there is no recent evidence that this year will be better than the one that just left, just as no year in my lifetime has been better than the previous. Oh sure, in my own, private life things get better every year. But the world is all connected. As there is more violence and of a more ( Read more... )