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Went to the memorial of Jesus Christ's death tonight. The talk was excellent, thought-provoking. I want to get back to the meetings but dread getting back to "religion," per se. But I miss learning and I miss hearing talks from the podium. I wonder if I'll ever be able to "hear" again, without all the negative memories and self-talk. And 95% of the time, when I say I'm going to go, even if I plan and ready myself, I end up not going. It's because I'm so very turned off to religion.
But I'm not turned off to God. I'm not turned off to the Bible. On the contrary, I see the truth of the things I've read and learned clearly; painfully clearly, like through a magnifying glass. Everything is falling in line just as the scriptures have laid out. I feel not dread but ... resignation. My only real fear is that, if I die in the Great Tribulation, that it might be a painful, vicious, horrible death at the hands of hateful, brutal terrorists. I would rather fall by God's own hand than by any of this craziness that is swallowing up the earth today ... because God is merciful and just, not like man with his hate and his ego and his judgments on everyone else.
My prayer: please God, do not let me and mine fall victim to human beings. Amen.
But I'm not turned off to God. I'm not turned off to the Bible. On the contrary, I see the truth of the things I've read and learned clearly; painfully clearly, like through a magnifying glass. Everything is falling in line just as the scriptures have laid out. I feel not dread but ... resignation. My only real fear is that, if I die in the Great Tribulation, that it might be a painful, vicious, horrible death at the hands of hateful, brutal terrorists. I would rather fall by God's own hand than by any of this craziness that is swallowing up the earth today ... because God is merciful and just, not like man with his hate and his ego and his judgments on everyone else.
My prayer: please God, do not let me and mine fall victim to human beings. Amen.