Map of your head (chapter 18)
Title: Map of your head
Fandom: U-KISS
Characters & Pairings: Elvin, Xander, OFC, other possible episodic characters
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance, Fluff, Humor, Drama
Summary: "Because the language confuses, like computers refuse to understand how I'm feeling today."
Eli is new to this world. Kevin makes him feel like home.
Disclaimer: The title belongs to English rock-band Muse, as well as the lyrics, extracted from their 2002 album entitled ”Hullabaloo”. I am in no way, shape or form affiliated with the named group, or any characters presented in this writing. No copyright infringement intended.
Read: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17
Month three. Day four.
Much to his surprise, Eli slept unyielding as soon as he hit the mattress, despite worrying over Kiseop’s presence. He didn’t know if what Alexander had said about Kevin not wanting to leave him was the comforting factor or not, but hoped with all his might it was true. He had fallen asleep and awakened with the thought that Kevin was like honey - he was the sweetest being and everybody wanted a piece of him, but things always got sticky in his presence.
He got up lazily and, for the first time in many weeks, he wasn’t eager on arriving to work. He turned on the shower and waited indolently for the hot water to spring in, then took off his clothes and bundled them up messily on the floor. He let the steamy drips make their way down his body, enjoying the mixed sensation of the drops’ heat and the open window’s chilly air.
He didn’t feel like eating anything, but grabbed two packs of instant noodle soup, along with boiling water in a thermos, two bowls and pairs of chopsticks, then headed out the door. It was drizzling outside, which he found quite enjoying, hence he started walking slowly towards the hospital. Everybody seemed to be in a hurry that morning, as they were trying to cover themselves under the umbrellas, or shield their hair with purses and briefcases.
As soon as Eli arrived, he changed his attire and headed straight for Kevin’s room, not forgetting to bring along the food -so-called food- taken from home. He knocked once and entered, expecting to see Kevin sleeping. The younger was reading, however, with his back rested against a mountain of pillows, covered all the way up his neck with a blanket. His face lit up when he saw Eli closing the door behind him.
‘Don’t get up.’ He said, noticing how Kevin wanted to raise from bed. ‘It’s cold.’
He placed his palm on his cheek and slightly lifted his head, earning a tender kiss. Kevin was warm, as usual and smelled, oddly enough, like vanilla biscuits.
‘Did you eat yet?’
‘No, I wanted to finish this first.’ Kevin said, holding up the novel for Eli to see. ‘It’s about this woman who got shipped off by her family, because they thought she had some sort of disease, when in fact, she was perfectly healthy. Kind of reminds me of myself.’
‘Don’t be upset.’ Eli let him lean on his chest. ‘Here, I brought something.’
He took out the two bowls and gave one pair of chopsticks to Kevin, making him grin in anticipation. He then dropped the content of the packages into the recipients and poured the hot water above them, which resulted in an irresistible scent of spicy chicken. Kevin giggled happily.
‘You know, I think this is the first time we’re actually having breakfast together.’ He added gaily. ‘We should make a habit out of this.’
‘We should make a habit out of many things.’ Eli laughed.
‘Like what?’
Eli thought for a moment.
‘Like kissing more often.’
‘I think we’re already pretty advanced at that. We could participate in a marathon and win without effort.’
Eli lend him noodles from his own soup, which Kevin gladly accepted and sucked them in with noise. The older was immediately reminded of a vacuum and started laughing. Kevin smacked him playfully on the shoulder, but didn’t say anything.
‘Speaking of marathons, how come you’re not reading in the library?’
‘It’s too cold.’ Kevin replied bluntly. ‘The heating system broke down in the middle of the night, I think they’re still working on it.’
‘Well then.’ Eli said, placing his bowl aside. ‘Let’s get you warm.’
Kevin chortled and grabbed him by the wrist, motioning for him to climb in bed, smiling more seductively than ever. Eli obeyed, simply because he didn’t dare not to and held him close, as he started kissing him slackly. He knew for a fact Kevin preferred those types of kisses the most, because he would always make little moaning noises whenever he received them.
They lay comfortably along the downy sheets, with Eli’s hand beneath Kevin’s head, while the other rested on his chest. Kevin brought his knees up, to the sides of Eli’s waist, to allow him a more convenient position between his legs. He then threw one leg above him haphazardly, to push Eli towards him until there was no more space between them, followed by a messy tangle of the arms around his neck.
Kevin then directed his hands towards the hem of his shirt, emboldening Eli to take it off. The older promptly obliged and lifted it slowly, only to stop his fingers midway, to caress Kevin’s soft skin. The younger shivered and deepened the kiss, although Eli felt his eagerness to keep going. As he did, the cold air within the room made Kevin tremble lightly, which only determined Eli to take his shirt off completely and start placing wet kisses along his jaw line, then down his neck, sucking on his Adam’s apple, before continuing licking his nipples and abdomen. Kevin let out a breath and arched his back, visibly shaken by the mass of sensations dominating him. He ruffled Eli’s hair until it turned completely disheveled and whispered ‘More’, as he was beginning to forget about the cold altogether.
Eli pulled down his pants and threw them somewhere behind, then licked Kevin’s errection, noticeable through the thin material of his underwear. He lifted himself back to face Kevin and started nibbling at his ear, while still pressing hard on and all around his manhood. The younger let out a soft cry of pleasure, as he guided Eli’s hand under the fabric and held it there firmly. His attempt at turning Eli on even more didn’t last long, though, since an instant later he felt his underwear being taken off wholly, then a hand rigidly gripping around his errection.
Eli pumped up and down a few times, making Kevin moan loudly, before giving one last lick to his ear and letting himself slide down near his cock, spreading the pre-cum with the tip of his thumb. He looked up and felt even more aroused, seeing Kevin’s intense countenance. Keeping his eyes on him the entire time, he licked at the tip of his manhood slowly, like he was savoring an ice-cream. He was pleased to hear the younger’s longing sighs and didn’t waste any more time in taking all in, while keeping his hand at the base of it. He circled his tongue around it, made zigzag patterns with his mouth and practically used it as a toy, driving Kevin insane from the heavenly feeling that it conveyed. He kept sweeping over it and then pause, each time harder than the last, until his lover couldn’t take anymore and announced his orgasm with a loud groan, shutting his eyes and dipping his nails into the mattress. Eli felt his entire figure tense and sensed him shudder a little, before returning from his high with a heavy breath.
Kevin took a minute to recompose, before standing gradually and stripped Eli of all his clothes. He then turned on his stomach and spread his legs, while lifting his bottom. Eli kissed his back all the way up, until he reached his nape and asked him if he was indeed alright with it. The younger nodded, then whispered an impatient ‘Please’, causing Eli to undergo a rigid errection. He licked his index finger and pushed it inside Kevin slowly, turning it a little before adding a second, then a third one. He heard a muffled, but approving ‘Mmh’ coming from his lover, so he trusted it was fitted to go further than that. He positioned himself right before Kevin’s entrance and teased him a little, before letting his own manhood seep within him.
The feeling was exhilarating, as he began thrusting forward in a rhythmic manner. He felt a hot and tight muscle surrounding his errection, which almost made him want to scream, but knew he had to keep quiet. Kevin was apparently also enjoying it, because he was now standing in a dog-like posture, moving backwards with each of Eli’s motions, deepening the penetration.
As Eli hit that certain spot inside him, Kevin withstood a second electrifying sensation, causing him to stand up and press his back against Eli’s chest. The older came not a second later, as he grabbed Kevin’s cock into his free hand, holding him steady by the waist with the other. He kept moving his hand until he emptied his lover completely, before sliding out of him and crashing on the bed. They were both panting, as they were staring at the ceiling with their fingers intertwined.
Kevin started giggling all of a sudden. Eli looked at him surprised.
‘We should try a sex marathon, too, besides the kissing one.’ He said. ‘We’d get number one at both.’
Eli burst out with laughter, as he got up to pick his clothes. The entire area encircling the bed appeared as a battlefield, with chopsticks and clothes and instant-soup packaging spread all over it. At least it was a good thing they thought of placing the bowls on the nightstand.
**
Since neither Alexander, nor Kiseop had arrived yet, Eli decided to go and talk to the next person capable of giving him more information on Kevin’s past relationship.
He stopped in front of Kyung Hee’s room, knocked and entered after hearing her approval. She was sitting in her usual place by the window, in a rocking chair, with a coloring book on her lap and some used crayons in her left hand. Eli grabbed the only chair left in the room and went by her side, then sat down and peeked at the half-blank drawings. She surpassed the outline several times, but somehow still managed to maintain a neat aspect. Eli noticed she wasn’t following the color guide below the illustration, which resulted in cartoons with green faces and pink hands.
‘Morning, Kyung Hee.’ Eli said after realizing she wasn’t going to speak. ‘I see you’re drawing. Do you enjoy it?’
‘Hello.’ She replied cheerfully. ‘Yeah, I do. It’s fun. Wanna try?’ she asked, holding out an orange crayon for him.
‘No, thank you. You’re better than me at it, you should do it.’
The girl smiled proudly at his remark.
‘Tell me something.’ Eli continued cautiously. ‘For how long have you been here?’
‘A few years, I think.’ She answered. ‘I’m not good with time.’
‘Then you must remember Kiseop, right?’ he questioned expectantly.
‘Kiseop? No, I don’t. I’ve never heard of him.’
Eli’s face dropped. As anticipated, children’s memory doesn’t last long because they don’t usually pay attention to details. He knew they were better than adults at seeing the entire picture, though, so he tried another course.
‘But Kevin has been here before you arrived, right?’
‘Oh, yes.’ She exclaimed, seemingly delighted to hear his name. ‘I like him, he’s always nice to me.’
Eli smiled, relieved to hear that. And of course he was always nice, because he was Kevin.
‘Then you must also know Kiseop, because he arrived after you were here. Try to remember. He had been Kevin’s best friend for about a year. They were mostly together.’
‘Ah!’ she asserted. ‘I do remember. Tall and skinny, right? And pretty.’
‘Exactly.’ Eli struggled not to grimace at the last adjective.
‘But they weren’t best friends. They were together. As in, together-together.’
He felt taken aback by her comment.
‘So you knew about them? Who else knew?’
‘Not many people.’ She thought for a while. ‘A few of us, I think. And Alexander.’
‘What do you mean by ‘a few of us’?’
‘Some patients from this floor. We saw them a couple of times kissing, but we never told anyone. Alexander made us promise. He said that if we did, bad things would happen to us, but I think he was lying to get us scared.’ She kept on coloring, supposedly unaware of what she was saying.
‘And just how close were they? I mean, beside kissing.’
‘Hm.’ She paused for a second to look in the distance. ‘There was this one time when I saw them in the library one evening. It was late and they were alone and playing on a table.’ She giggled. Eli felt jealousy creeping up his spine.
‘What do you mean by ‘playing’? he asked, not sure of whether Kyung Hee knew the meaning behind the action.
‘I don’t know, like they were fighting. But they weren’t actually fighting, because Kiseop kept on kissing him and Kevin liked it because he kept pulling him closer and-’
‘Okay, I get it.’ Eli interrupted her, disappointed by the lack of information he was getting. ‘Thank you. I’ll be going now. Look for me if you need anything, alright?’
‘Yes.’ She smiled, returning to her coloring book, while Eli got up and left the room wretchedly.
He couldn’t refrain himself from picturing Kevin enjoying Kiseop’s touches, caresses, kisses more than his own. It made him wonder if sometimes Kevin still misses his ex partner, but suffers in silence because he doesn’t want to hurt Eli’s feelings. It made him come up with all these stupid scenarios in his head, in which the two of them meet again after so many years and the younger simply decides Kiseop is -and has always been- better than Eli and settles to reinstate their relationship. He felt tormented to the core because of uncertainty and the only way to make it go away would have been to talk to Kevin directly, but he knew that was off the list.
Just as he was making his way to the bathroom, lost in thought, he bumped into someone. He immediately wanted to excuse himself, but as he looked up and noticed Kiseop, he froze.
‘I am deeply sorry.’ Kiseop instantly said, picking up the same folder he had brought the night before. ‘I didn’t see you. You’re Eli, right?’ he asked politely, looking at him with interest. The older took a minute before coming to his senses.
‘Yes, I am.’
‘Well, don’t mind me. I returned to talk to Alexander.’ He smiled, starting to walk away.
‘He’s not here.’ Eli replied hastily. ‘He usually checks in late.’
‘Oh?’ Kiseop turned to face him. ‘Bummer. You think it’ll be alright if I wait in the library?’
‘Actually, why don’t you come and have breakfast with me at the canteen? I suppose you haven’t eaten yet.’
Kiseop looked at him with uncertainty for a second and Eli felt like he was being the one feared for the first time since their encounter. He instantly anticipated his intentions of going to the library, because he was probably hoping to meet Kevin there.
‘I won’t retain you long.’ Eli tried again. ‘My treat.’
‘Why not?’ Kiseop answered, in a failed attempt to mask his dissatisfaction.
They walked in silence before reaching a table near the windows. Eli went to order the day’s special menu and returned irascible, not really sure what trail would their dialogue follow.
Neither of them said much at first, with Kiseop mostly staring at his plate and Eli incapable of taking his eyes away from his face. He seemed tired, but somewhat blithe, as he was quietly eating on a piece of meat.
‘It’s been years since I’ve last eaten here.’ He spoke after a while, gazing around the room. ‘I used to have breakfast here with Kevin every morning. Doesn’t he still eat here?’
‘He mostly eats in his room nowadays.’ Eli answered stiff. ‘So you were close, huh?’
Kiseop studied his face carefully before replying.
‘I don’t know what Xander told you, but yeah. You could say that.’
‘Alexander didn’t tell me much. I found out from Kevin himself.’
‘Oh.’ Kiseop swallowed heavily. ‘So I’m guessing he really trusts you, then.’
‘He does. We hang out a lot. You know, talk, have fun. That sort of things.’
‘I see.’
There was a forced courtesy floating around, like both of them were trying to secretly intrude each other’s mind. Kiseop became visibly uncomfortable after Eli’s remark, whereas the older couldn’t distinguish his own feelings clearly. He was anxious and tense, while at the same time angry and detached.
‘By the way’, Kiseop continued, ‘Xander told me yesterday that Kevin is seeing someone now. Did you know about it? I mean, I don’t expect you to, since he can be quite reserved and doesn’t really trust people.’
‘As a matter of fact, I do. Like I said, we’re close. He confides in me with pretty much everything.’
The younger shifted in his seat, but didn’t look up.
‘Have you seen him? Is he a patient?’
‘I am his partner.’ Eli stated calmly, picking up an olive in his fork. Kiseop dropped his spoon on the plate with a loud cling.
‘Excuse me?’ his eyes widened.
‘I said I am his lover.’ He repeated, pretending not to notice Kiseop’s sudden change in attitude. He was quite enjoying it.
‘You?’ he repeated. ‘I mean, how come?’ He was trying to recompose himself and almost succeeded, if it wasn’t for his slightly shaky hands.
‘You know, the usual stuff. We met, we talked, we became friends. And the rest is history. I think you can relate to that.’ Eli felt like he was somehow attacking Kiseop, despite his calm tone. The other unmistakably felt it, because he was breathing heavily through his nose.
‘That’s just…’ he paused. ‘That’s ridiculous.’ Kiseop finally concluded. Eli looked at him plainly.
‘And why is that, may I ask?’
‘It’s against the rules.’ He responded intently. ‘And you know that.’
‘Here we go. The rules again.’ Eli smirked. ‘If we managed to already surpass that little problem, what makes you think we won’t last? Or, better yet, what makes you think we’re doing something wrong?’
‘So you’re saying you see nothing wrong in this picture?’ he was becoming enraged. ‘At least I was being honest with him the whole time. You’re just toying around.’
‘Well would you look at that.’ Eli leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms. ‘I didn’t know you became a psychic meanwhile. You want to make comparisons? Fine. I have the money to sustain him outside this hospital as well, what did you offer him? I take him out and bring him to my place whenever I feel like it, when was the last time you did that?’
‘Don’t lie.’ Kiseop replied through his teeth. ‘I know about his fears, he isn’t allowed to go outside.’
‘You missed out too much. Many things happened since you left. And many more will happen, believe me. Too bad you won’t be around to witness them.’
‘And how do you know that?’ he began playing with his fork to keep his hands busy, although maintained eye-contact with Eli the entire time.
‘You are not wanted here. I’m sorry to disappoint, but Kevin is mine now. I’m not threatening you, all I’m saying is that you should go before he finds out you were here. Let him be happy.’
Kiseop underwent an odd change of facial expression. He was raging.
‘I made a promise to him a long time ago, that I would come back and take him with me. Now I’m here to keep that promise and nothing in the world could ever stop me. You don’t know what we had, you’ll never do. He will be more than happy with me, I can guarantee that.’
‘You have no idea how wrong you are.’
The pretended politeness quickly evaporated and now both of them felt like they were in a game of dominance. Kiseop tossed the napkin he had been squeezing in his palm on the table and got up.
‘Where are you going?’ Eli grabbed him by the wrist.
‘Like it’s any of your business.’ He thrust his arm from Eli’s grip and began walking towards the exit. The older quickly followed and placed himself in front of him, holding him by the shoulders.
‘Listen to me.’ He whispered calmly. ‘It’s been years. I don’t know how you feel about him, but he has moved on and you should, too. You thought he would wait for an eternity for you to return? He got sick of waiting after a while; people forget, they move on and form new relationships. Let him be. Don’t cause a scene now, he’s been through enough already.’
Kiseop looked like he was on the verge of crying, but at the same time felt like hitting him.
‘I have to talk to him. Whether you like it or not. I need to hear this from him, not from you.’ he gritted. ‘Now move.’ He tried pushing Eli away, but the named one kept his ground firmly.
‘Listen to me and go now. You’re only causing more trouble and you don’t even know it.’
‘What are you so afraid of?’ he hissed. ‘Since you seem so secure about your relationship, why won’t you let me talk to him? Because if things are indeed how you present them, then there shouldn’t be any problems, right? I shouldn’t be a danger to you. Or what, you’re afraid Kevin might actually want me back?’
‘Kiseop?’ they heard a small voice behind them.
Fandom: U-KISS
Characters & Pairings: Elvin, Xander, OFC, other possible episodic characters
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance, Fluff, Humor, Drama
Summary: "Because the language confuses, like computers refuse to understand how I'm feeling today."
Eli is new to this world. Kevin makes him feel like home.
Disclaimer: The title belongs to English rock-band Muse, as well as the lyrics, extracted from their 2002 album entitled ”Hullabaloo”. I am in no way, shape or form affiliated with the named group, or any characters presented in this writing. No copyright infringement intended.
Read: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17
Month three. Day four.
Much to his surprise, Eli slept unyielding as soon as he hit the mattress, despite worrying over Kiseop’s presence. He didn’t know if what Alexander had said about Kevin not wanting to leave him was the comforting factor or not, but hoped with all his might it was true. He had fallen asleep and awakened with the thought that Kevin was like honey - he was the sweetest being and everybody wanted a piece of him, but things always got sticky in his presence.
He got up lazily and, for the first time in many weeks, he wasn’t eager on arriving to work. He turned on the shower and waited indolently for the hot water to spring in, then took off his clothes and bundled them up messily on the floor. He let the steamy drips make their way down his body, enjoying the mixed sensation of the drops’ heat and the open window’s chilly air.
He didn’t feel like eating anything, but grabbed two packs of instant noodle soup, along with boiling water in a thermos, two bowls and pairs of chopsticks, then headed out the door. It was drizzling outside, which he found quite enjoying, hence he started walking slowly towards the hospital. Everybody seemed to be in a hurry that morning, as they were trying to cover themselves under the umbrellas, or shield their hair with purses and briefcases.
As soon as Eli arrived, he changed his attire and headed straight for Kevin’s room, not forgetting to bring along the food -so-called food- taken from home. He knocked once and entered, expecting to see Kevin sleeping. The younger was reading, however, with his back rested against a mountain of pillows, covered all the way up his neck with a blanket. His face lit up when he saw Eli closing the door behind him.
‘Don’t get up.’ He said, noticing how Kevin wanted to raise from bed. ‘It’s cold.’
He placed his palm on his cheek and slightly lifted his head, earning a tender kiss. Kevin was warm, as usual and smelled, oddly enough, like vanilla biscuits.
‘Did you eat yet?’
‘No, I wanted to finish this first.’ Kevin said, holding up the novel for Eli to see. ‘It’s about this woman who got shipped off by her family, because they thought she had some sort of disease, when in fact, she was perfectly healthy. Kind of reminds me of myself.’
‘Don’t be upset.’ Eli let him lean on his chest. ‘Here, I brought something.’
He took out the two bowls and gave one pair of chopsticks to Kevin, making him grin in anticipation. He then dropped the content of the packages into the recipients and poured the hot water above them, which resulted in an irresistible scent of spicy chicken. Kevin giggled happily.
‘You know, I think this is the first time we’re actually having breakfast together.’ He added gaily. ‘We should make a habit out of this.’
‘We should make a habit out of many things.’ Eli laughed.
‘Like what?’
Eli thought for a moment.
‘Like kissing more often.’
‘I think we’re already pretty advanced at that. We could participate in a marathon and win without effort.’
Eli lend him noodles from his own soup, which Kevin gladly accepted and sucked them in with noise. The older was immediately reminded of a vacuum and started laughing. Kevin smacked him playfully on the shoulder, but didn’t say anything.
‘Speaking of marathons, how come you’re not reading in the library?’
‘It’s too cold.’ Kevin replied bluntly. ‘The heating system broke down in the middle of the night, I think they’re still working on it.’
‘Well then.’ Eli said, placing his bowl aside. ‘Let’s get you warm.’
Kevin chortled and grabbed him by the wrist, motioning for him to climb in bed, smiling more seductively than ever. Eli obeyed, simply because he didn’t dare not to and held him close, as he started kissing him slackly. He knew for a fact Kevin preferred those types of kisses the most, because he would always make little moaning noises whenever he received them.
They lay comfortably along the downy sheets, with Eli’s hand beneath Kevin’s head, while the other rested on his chest. Kevin brought his knees up, to the sides of Eli’s waist, to allow him a more convenient position between his legs. He then threw one leg above him haphazardly, to push Eli towards him until there was no more space between them, followed by a messy tangle of the arms around his neck.
Kevin then directed his hands towards the hem of his shirt, emboldening Eli to take it off. The older promptly obliged and lifted it slowly, only to stop his fingers midway, to caress Kevin’s soft skin. The younger shivered and deepened the kiss, although Eli felt his eagerness to keep going. As he did, the cold air within the room made Kevin tremble lightly, which only determined Eli to take his shirt off completely and start placing wet kisses along his jaw line, then down his neck, sucking on his Adam’s apple, before continuing licking his nipples and abdomen. Kevin let out a breath and arched his back, visibly shaken by the mass of sensations dominating him. He ruffled Eli’s hair until it turned completely disheveled and whispered ‘More’, as he was beginning to forget about the cold altogether.
Eli pulled down his pants and threw them somewhere behind, then licked Kevin’s errection, noticeable through the thin material of his underwear. He lifted himself back to face Kevin and started nibbling at his ear, while still pressing hard on and all around his manhood. The younger let out a soft cry of pleasure, as he guided Eli’s hand under the fabric and held it there firmly. His attempt at turning Eli on even more didn’t last long, though, since an instant later he felt his underwear being taken off wholly, then a hand rigidly gripping around his errection.
Eli pumped up and down a few times, making Kevin moan loudly, before giving one last lick to his ear and letting himself slide down near his cock, spreading the pre-cum with the tip of his thumb. He looked up and felt even more aroused, seeing Kevin’s intense countenance. Keeping his eyes on him the entire time, he licked at the tip of his manhood slowly, like he was savoring an ice-cream. He was pleased to hear the younger’s longing sighs and didn’t waste any more time in taking all in, while keeping his hand at the base of it. He circled his tongue around it, made zigzag patterns with his mouth and practically used it as a toy, driving Kevin insane from the heavenly feeling that it conveyed. He kept sweeping over it and then pause, each time harder than the last, until his lover couldn’t take anymore and announced his orgasm with a loud groan, shutting his eyes and dipping his nails into the mattress. Eli felt his entire figure tense and sensed him shudder a little, before returning from his high with a heavy breath.
Kevin took a minute to recompose, before standing gradually and stripped Eli of all his clothes. He then turned on his stomach and spread his legs, while lifting his bottom. Eli kissed his back all the way up, until he reached his nape and asked him if he was indeed alright with it. The younger nodded, then whispered an impatient ‘Please’, causing Eli to undergo a rigid errection. He licked his index finger and pushed it inside Kevin slowly, turning it a little before adding a second, then a third one. He heard a muffled, but approving ‘Mmh’ coming from his lover, so he trusted it was fitted to go further than that. He positioned himself right before Kevin’s entrance and teased him a little, before letting his own manhood seep within him.
The feeling was exhilarating, as he began thrusting forward in a rhythmic manner. He felt a hot and tight muscle surrounding his errection, which almost made him want to scream, but knew he had to keep quiet. Kevin was apparently also enjoying it, because he was now standing in a dog-like posture, moving backwards with each of Eli’s motions, deepening the penetration.
As Eli hit that certain spot inside him, Kevin withstood a second electrifying sensation, causing him to stand up and press his back against Eli’s chest. The older came not a second later, as he grabbed Kevin’s cock into his free hand, holding him steady by the waist with the other. He kept moving his hand until he emptied his lover completely, before sliding out of him and crashing on the bed. They were both panting, as they were staring at the ceiling with their fingers intertwined.
Kevin started giggling all of a sudden. Eli looked at him surprised.
‘We should try a sex marathon, too, besides the kissing one.’ He said. ‘We’d get number one at both.’
Eli burst out with laughter, as he got up to pick his clothes. The entire area encircling the bed appeared as a battlefield, with chopsticks and clothes and instant-soup packaging spread all over it. At least it was a good thing they thought of placing the bowls on the nightstand.
**
Since neither Alexander, nor Kiseop had arrived yet, Eli decided to go and talk to the next person capable of giving him more information on Kevin’s past relationship.
He stopped in front of Kyung Hee’s room, knocked and entered after hearing her approval. She was sitting in her usual place by the window, in a rocking chair, with a coloring book on her lap and some used crayons in her left hand. Eli grabbed the only chair left in the room and went by her side, then sat down and peeked at the half-blank drawings. She surpassed the outline several times, but somehow still managed to maintain a neat aspect. Eli noticed she wasn’t following the color guide below the illustration, which resulted in cartoons with green faces and pink hands.
‘Morning, Kyung Hee.’ Eli said after realizing she wasn’t going to speak. ‘I see you’re drawing. Do you enjoy it?’
‘Hello.’ She replied cheerfully. ‘Yeah, I do. It’s fun. Wanna try?’ she asked, holding out an orange crayon for him.
‘No, thank you. You’re better than me at it, you should do it.’
The girl smiled proudly at his remark.
‘Tell me something.’ Eli continued cautiously. ‘For how long have you been here?’
‘A few years, I think.’ She answered. ‘I’m not good with time.’
‘Then you must remember Kiseop, right?’ he questioned expectantly.
‘Kiseop? No, I don’t. I’ve never heard of him.’
Eli’s face dropped. As anticipated, children’s memory doesn’t last long because they don’t usually pay attention to details. He knew they were better than adults at seeing the entire picture, though, so he tried another course.
‘But Kevin has been here before you arrived, right?’
‘Oh, yes.’ She exclaimed, seemingly delighted to hear his name. ‘I like him, he’s always nice to me.’
Eli smiled, relieved to hear that. And of course he was always nice, because he was Kevin.
‘Then you must also know Kiseop, because he arrived after you were here. Try to remember. He had been Kevin’s best friend for about a year. They were mostly together.’
‘Ah!’ she asserted. ‘I do remember. Tall and skinny, right? And pretty.’
‘Exactly.’ Eli struggled not to grimace at the last adjective.
‘But they weren’t best friends. They were together. As in, together-together.’
He felt taken aback by her comment.
‘So you knew about them? Who else knew?’
‘Not many people.’ She thought for a while. ‘A few of us, I think. And Alexander.’
‘What do you mean by ‘a few of us’?’
‘Some patients from this floor. We saw them a couple of times kissing, but we never told anyone. Alexander made us promise. He said that if we did, bad things would happen to us, but I think he was lying to get us scared.’ She kept on coloring, supposedly unaware of what she was saying.
‘And just how close were they? I mean, beside kissing.’
‘Hm.’ She paused for a second to look in the distance. ‘There was this one time when I saw them in the library one evening. It was late and they were alone and playing on a table.’ She giggled. Eli felt jealousy creeping up his spine.
‘What do you mean by ‘playing’? he asked, not sure of whether Kyung Hee knew the meaning behind the action.
‘I don’t know, like they were fighting. But they weren’t actually fighting, because Kiseop kept on kissing him and Kevin liked it because he kept pulling him closer and-’
‘Okay, I get it.’ Eli interrupted her, disappointed by the lack of information he was getting. ‘Thank you. I’ll be going now. Look for me if you need anything, alright?’
‘Yes.’ She smiled, returning to her coloring book, while Eli got up and left the room wretchedly.
He couldn’t refrain himself from picturing Kevin enjoying Kiseop’s touches, caresses, kisses more than his own. It made him wonder if sometimes Kevin still misses his ex partner, but suffers in silence because he doesn’t want to hurt Eli’s feelings. It made him come up with all these stupid scenarios in his head, in which the two of them meet again after so many years and the younger simply decides Kiseop is -and has always been- better than Eli and settles to reinstate their relationship. He felt tormented to the core because of uncertainty and the only way to make it go away would have been to talk to Kevin directly, but he knew that was off the list.
Just as he was making his way to the bathroom, lost in thought, he bumped into someone. He immediately wanted to excuse himself, but as he looked up and noticed Kiseop, he froze.
‘I am deeply sorry.’ Kiseop instantly said, picking up the same folder he had brought the night before. ‘I didn’t see you. You’re Eli, right?’ he asked politely, looking at him with interest. The older took a minute before coming to his senses.
‘Yes, I am.’
‘Well, don’t mind me. I returned to talk to Alexander.’ He smiled, starting to walk away.
‘He’s not here.’ Eli replied hastily. ‘He usually checks in late.’
‘Oh?’ Kiseop turned to face him. ‘Bummer. You think it’ll be alright if I wait in the library?’
‘Actually, why don’t you come and have breakfast with me at the canteen? I suppose you haven’t eaten yet.’
Kiseop looked at him with uncertainty for a second and Eli felt like he was being the one feared for the first time since their encounter. He instantly anticipated his intentions of going to the library, because he was probably hoping to meet Kevin there.
‘I won’t retain you long.’ Eli tried again. ‘My treat.’
‘Why not?’ Kiseop answered, in a failed attempt to mask his dissatisfaction.
They walked in silence before reaching a table near the windows. Eli went to order the day’s special menu and returned irascible, not really sure what trail would their dialogue follow.
Neither of them said much at first, with Kiseop mostly staring at his plate and Eli incapable of taking his eyes away from his face. He seemed tired, but somewhat blithe, as he was quietly eating on a piece of meat.
‘It’s been years since I’ve last eaten here.’ He spoke after a while, gazing around the room. ‘I used to have breakfast here with Kevin every morning. Doesn’t he still eat here?’
‘He mostly eats in his room nowadays.’ Eli answered stiff. ‘So you were close, huh?’
Kiseop studied his face carefully before replying.
‘I don’t know what Xander told you, but yeah. You could say that.’
‘Alexander didn’t tell me much. I found out from Kevin himself.’
‘Oh.’ Kiseop swallowed heavily. ‘So I’m guessing he really trusts you, then.’
‘He does. We hang out a lot. You know, talk, have fun. That sort of things.’
‘I see.’
There was a forced courtesy floating around, like both of them were trying to secretly intrude each other’s mind. Kiseop became visibly uncomfortable after Eli’s remark, whereas the older couldn’t distinguish his own feelings clearly. He was anxious and tense, while at the same time angry and detached.
‘By the way’, Kiseop continued, ‘Xander told me yesterday that Kevin is seeing someone now. Did you know about it? I mean, I don’t expect you to, since he can be quite reserved and doesn’t really trust people.’
‘As a matter of fact, I do. Like I said, we’re close. He confides in me with pretty much everything.’
The younger shifted in his seat, but didn’t look up.
‘Have you seen him? Is he a patient?’
‘I am his partner.’ Eli stated calmly, picking up an olive in his fork. Kiseop dropped his spoon on the plate with a loud cling.
‘Excuse me?’ his eyes widened.
‘I said I am his lover.’ He repeated, pretending not to notice Kiseop’s sudden change in attitude. He was quite enjoying it.
‘You?’ he repeated. ‘I mean, how come?’ He was trying to recompose himself and almost succeeded, if it wasn’t for his slightly shaky hands.
‘You know, the usual stuff. We met, we talked, we became friends. And the rest is history. I think you can relate to that.’ Eli felt like he was somehow attacking Kiseop, despite his calm tone. The other unmistakably felt it, because he was breathing heavily through his nose.
‘That’s just…’ he paused. ‘That’s ridiculous.’ Kiseop finally concluded. Eli looked at him plainly.
‘And why is that, may I ask?’
‘It’s against the rules.’ He responded intently. ‘And you know that.’
‘Here we go. The rules again.’ Eli smirked. ‘If we managed to already surpass that little problem, what makes you think we won’t last? Or, better yet, what makes you think we’re doing something wrong?’
‘So you’re saying you see nothing wrong in this picture?’ he was becoming enraged. ‘At least I was being honest with him the whole time. You’re just toying around.’
‘Well would you look at that.’ Eli leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms. ‘I didn’t know you became a psychic meanwhile. You want to make comparisons? Fine. I have the money to sustain him outside this hospital as well, what did you offer him? I take him out and bring him to my place whenever I feel like it, when was the last time you did that?’
‘Don’t lie.’ Kiseop replied through his teeth. ‘I know about his fears, he isn’t allowed to go outside.’
‘You missed out too much. Many things happened since you left. And many more will happen, believe me. Too bad you won’t be around to witness them.’
‘And how do you know that?’ he began playing with his fork to keep his hands busy, although maintained eye-contact with Eli the entire time.
‘You are not wanted here. I’m sorry to disappoint, but Kevin is mine now. I’m not threatening you, all I’m saying is that you should go before he finds out you were here. Let him be happy.’
Kiseop underwent an odd change of facial expression. He was raging.
‘I made a promise to him a long time ago, that I would come back and take him with me. Now I’m here to keep that promise and nothing in the world could ever stop me. You don’t know what we had, you’ll never do. He will be more than happy with me, I can guarantee that.’
‘You have no idea how wrong you are.’
The pretended politeness quickly evaporated and now both of them felt like they were in a game of dominance. Kiseop tossed the napkin he had been squeezing in his palm on the table and got up.
‘Where are you going?’ Eli grabbed him by the wrist.
‘Like it’s any of your business.’ He thrust his arm from Eli’s grip and began walking towards the exit. The older quickly followed and placed himself in front of him, holding him by the shoulders.
‘Listen to me.’ He whispered calmly. ‘It’s been years. I don’t know how you feel about him, but he has moved on and you should, too. You thought he would wait for an eternity for you to return? He got sick of waiting after a while; people forget, they move on and form new relationships. Let him be. Don’t cause a scene now, he’s been through enough already.’
Kiseop looked like he was on the verge of crying, but at the same time felt like hitting him.
‘I have to talk to him. Whether you like it or not. I need to hear this from him, not from you.’ he gritted. ‘Now move.’ He tried pushing Eli away, but the named one kept his ground firmly.
‘Listen to me and go now. You’re only causing more trouble and you don’t even know it.’
‘What are you so afraid of?’ he hissed. ‘Since you seem so secure about your relationship, why won’t you let me talk to him? Because if things are indeed how you present them, then there shouldn’t be any problems, right? I shouldn’t be a danger to you. Or what, you’re afraid Kevin might actually want me back?’
‘Kiseop?’ they heard a small voice behind them.