Map of your head (chapter 6)
Title: Map of your head
Fandom: U-KISS
Characters & Pairings: Elvin, Xander, OFC, other possible episodic characters.
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance, Fluff, Humor, Drama
Summary: "Because the language confuses, like computers refuse to understand how I'm feeling today."
Eli is new to this world. Kevin makes him feel like home.
Disclaimer: The title belongs to English rock-band Muse, as well as the lyrics, extracted from their 2002 album entitled ”Hullabaloo”. I am in no way, shape or form affiliated with the named group, or any characters presented in this writing. No copyright infringement intended.
Read: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5
Day seven.
He had hurt Kevin. He had hurt Kevin and he knew it. The image of the crushed expression on his face had been playing in his head all night long, over and over again, until he got a headache. He didn’t even know why he reacted the way he did; after all, all Kevin did was to sincerely express his feelings towards him, after clearly asking him not to get mad. Yet still, he pushed himself away, as if Kevin had some sort of incurable virus.
But why did Eli do that? Was he truly stating the truth when saying that he didn’t like Kevin in that way? He didn’t know. The only thing he was sure of was that it felt really good kissing him. He had kissed before, went on dates, had countless girlfriends, but this felt different. It felt new to him, and not because Kevin was male. He was always warm, which made Eli want to hug him all the time. He seemed fragile on the outside, but keen and determined on the inside. He was an optimist, a dreamer and a visionary. He liked being hold, caressed, taken care of, which Eli certainly didn’t mind. Then again, he didn’t pull away because Kevin was a patient, nor because he had to behave in an ethical way at his workplace. It was because kissing him felt so right, yet so wrong at the same time.
The alarm went off, making Eli jump slightly, as he was sitting on his back, facing the ceiling, with his arms under his head. He hadn’t closed his eyes all night, and now he had to get up and go to work. Go to see Kevin. Go face him and explain that they couldn’t be together. At least, not like that. And he knew he would be tired all day, which will make the situation even worse to deal with.
He opened the window and let the chilly air make its way through. He breathed all in, filling his lungs with a cold breeze, then sneezed. He closed the damn window back again and kicked it.
’Yeah, that’s great.’ he muttered to himself. ‘Keep doing that and you’ll have another thing to pay for.’
He continued punching the walls on his way to the bathroom, although not hard. He might as well punch everything, now that he was in the mood for it. The door, the mirror, the pillows, the lamp. Now he was feeling better. He opened all the windows in the house once more, to create a strong stream of air. Would the flood of air slide Kevin’s image from his head away? No, of course not. It took away some papers and only made him shiver, but Kevin remained there in his head, clenched onto his brain like a tree to the ground.
After an hour Eli found himself in front of the hospital, walking slowly towards the entrance. After getting inside he greeted the nurse at the welcoming desk and proceeded into the elevator. He felt quite calm, for some reason, though he knew that once seeing Kevin, his heart would start racing. He checked in and then bumped into Alexander, who was about to finish up his shift and leave.
‘Well you look happy this morning.’ the older smiled knowingly. ‘Didn’t have much sleep?’
‘Didn’t have any sleep at all’. Eli answered. ‘Do I look that bad?’
‘You look like Kevin. He didn’t sleep at all, either. We stood up all night, listening to music and reading magazines. He didn’t say much, which doesn’t really define him. Did he say anything to you yesterday? Or did something happen?’
Eli swallowed before replying.
‘No, nothing. We had a great time at all the places we went to, and he seemed sort of tired when we got back, so I’m surprised he didn’t sleep. I couldn’t because of my neighbors’ stupid dogs, but he had no reason not to. Unless he got sick? Did he catch a cold?’
‘He didn’t, he just seemed…nostalgic. Maybe because it only lasted a day? As I know Kevin, he probably would have loved to travel across the world. Anyway, I gave him something earlier and he’s asleep now, he’ll probably wake up later today. Well, I’m off. Oh, and try to make Kylie eat something, will you? She refuses to take anything in.’
‘I will, don’t worry. Have a good rest.’
‘Thanks. See you tomorrow.’
With that and a smile, Alexander left, leaving Eli jealous again. Of course he spent his entire night with Kevin, he just had to. He didn’t know why he got so possessive each time one of them mentioned spending time with the other - Xander was, after all, a pretty impressive individual. And Kevin wouldn’t have picked him as his best friend if he weren’t. But even with that in his head, he still wasn’t very fond of their relationship.
He changed his clothes and started working on the residents’ files. He sorted them alphabetically, filled up missing information, noted extra observations he had noticed over the past few days, measured various dozes of pills and syrup for some of them and prepared the daily syringes for the others. Every once in a while, his eyes would glance over to Kevin’s room, wanting to go in and check on him, but re-focusing himself each time. He finished everything at around 2 PM. He actually felt surprised that he had done so much in such a quick time - practically taking care of an entire cabinet packed with archives. He felt proud and less tired.
A well-deserved lunch break was in order. The staff’s cafeteria was always open, even during the night, but Eli didn’t really feel like socializing with anybody. So instead he went into Alexander’s office, locked himself in and sat on his chair. He had never been there before - the guy was indeed very tidy. Everything was sparkling-clean and there were no signs of disarrangement whatsoever. It was actually sort of creepy how a male his age could be so mother-like, but then again, he had encountered worse.
He unpacked two sandwiches and starting nibbling slowly on the first one. He felt so tired again that the snack didn’t have any taste, but since his stomach was growling, he had to do something about it. Eli had to admit it was nice in there - plenty of light, but not the bright kind that blinds you, a hidden scent of citrus, a comfortable leather chair and blue. Lots of blue.
After ten minutes, when he was barely preparing to start eating the second sandwich, he heard a knock on the door. He immediately stood up, discharging any indication of food, trying to make as little noise as possible. Maybe if he kept silent, the person knocking would realize Alexander was not there and would leave. But of course the second set of knocks came in, making Eli panic.
‘Xander? It’s me, Kevin.’
‘Well isn’t that marvelous’, Eli thought to himself. His heart started speeding a little, just like he had predicted, but he went to the door and opened it. When meeting his eyes, both of them paralyzed for a few seconds, Kevin asking himself why was Eli in Xander’s office and Eli not thinking at all. Truth is Kevin looked adorable. He could tell he had just woken up, judging by his puffy cheeks and messy hair.
‘Eli… hi.’ he finally said in a small voice.
‘Hey’ Eli stepped aside, indicating for him to come in. Afterward he closed the door and took out the other sandwich, still intact, offering it to the younger. Kevin took it with insecure hands, then smiled a bit.
‘Thanks. Where’s Xander? What are you doing here?’
‘Alexander finished his shift this morning, after you fell asleep. And, well, I’m here for my lunch break. I didn’t feel like talking about all sorts of crap that doesn’t really interest me, anyway. So I came here to eat, since it’s quiet and nobody bothers me.’
‘Oh, I’m sorry, I…’ Kevin was heading towards the door. Eli grabbed his hand.
‘Don’t go. You don’t bother me. Besides, it was getting kind of too quiet.’
After that none of them said anything for the next minutes, with Eli staring outside the window and Kevin munching onto his sandwich quietly.
‘Listen, about yesterday.’ Eli started. ‘I’m sorry I overreacted like that. You didn’t do anything wrong.’
‘I didn’t?’ Kevin asked hopefully, turning his eyes at him. ‘So… does that mean…’
He didn’t continue, waiting for Eli to respond to his unasked question. Eli just sighed.
‘I need to be honest with you, because otherwise it won’t work. I like you, you know that. And it’s insane how attached I grew to you, considering we’ve known each other for only a week. I want to make you happy, I want to have you around me, but yesterday’s kiss was…’
He didn’t know how to say it so that Kevin wouldn’t misinterpret his words.
‘…not even a real kiss?’ Kevin joked, even if he felt sad. ‘It’s okay, you don’t have to explain. I should’ve known better. But I don’t have much experience in this field, so I just thought… never mind. But, I don’t want you to be awkward around me.’
It hurt Eli seeing him like this. He tried to talk normal, but his voice was shaking. He tried to maintain eye contact, but he would look at his shoes each time. He tried to stop gesticulating so much, but his hands were out of control.
‘I’m not going to. But you have to promise me that you’re okay with this. I know you’re not particularly fine right now, but I don’t want things to change between us. So I thought…’
‘Yes?’
‘…I thought we should stop hanging out for a while, at least until things calm down. If we continue spending time together, nothing will change.’
Kevin looked like he was on the verge of crying.
‘You… you want us to stop talking?’
‘No, God no.’ Eli came closer, placing his hands on Kevin’s shoulders. ‘I still want to be your friend. And I still want for us to go out, like yesterday. But right now things are a bit slippery, and I don’t want this to end. Not like this.’
‘I see.’ Kevin breathed in. ‘I think I should go.’
‘Kevin.’
‘No, it’s fine’ he said, heading for the door. He was smiling, but underneath it Eli could see only unhappiness. ‘I understand. See you later.’
And with that he left the room, leaving a miserable Eli behind.
**
Two weeks had passed. Two weeks filled with distress, worry, misery, I wonder what is he doing right now, concern, insomnia, why is he hiding from me, unrest, lack of appetite, lack of life, lack of everything. Kevin seemed to be spotted less and less. Eli knew, because without even realizing, he had developed an obsession of wanting to see him every hour - he had to know he was okay and that he wasn’t undergoing a depressive state, because in his condition, that couldn’t be beneficial. He was mostly either locked up in his room, or reading in the library. It was ridiculous how much he was reading. A novel per day was way over the top, even for bookworm Kevin. He was trying to keep things off his mind as much as possible, but he was beginning to get tired from sleepless nights of constant reading.
Eli was pretty much in the same state. He was severely lacking appetite, which made him collapse one day while speaking with one of the nurses. He was immediately sent home for the next two days, along with a bunch of home-cooked meals and medicine, free of charge. All of these were from Alexander, who was making sure to visit in the morning and evening.
‘I don’t get it. What’s wrong with both of you?’ he asked while sitting on Eli’s bed, the second late afternoon. ‘You pass out and Kevin reads like there’s no tomorrow. Well, Kevin always reads like there’s no tomorrow, but this time it feels like he’s trying to memorize every little word or something. Did you have a fight?’
Eli swallowed his sushi before replying, since Alexander didn’t let him talk with his mouth full (or get out of bed, for that matter). He said that the risk of chocking was higher when people talked with food in their mouths.
‘We didn’t. You can also ask him and he’s going to say the same thing.’
‘I know that, I already asked. A gazillion times. But obviously he’s not planning on telling me anything. Besides, the whole thing started after you two came back that Saturday evening. What happened?’
‘Nothing happened, I swear.’ Eli said, widening his eyes and trying to look as convincing as possible.
‘Don’t talk with your mouth full. Well if nothing happened, how do you explain his behavior? I don’t like seeing him like this.’
‘I know, me neither. Maybe it’s just a phase? He is, after all, still young, even if he’s not an adolescent anymore. It’ll probably pass soon.’
‘Maybe, or maybe not. I’m going to be honest here, I think you two are hiding something. If you had a fight, then just apologize to each other, it’s not hard. But whatever one of you did is making him unhappy and I don’t know what do to anymore to cheer him up.’
Eli didn’t say anything. He wanted to get up and take the plate into the kitchen, but Alexander stopped him and snagged it before Eli could make a move.
‘You stay here. I’ll wash this and I’ll be right back.’
He was faster than Eli had thought. He was not good at house duties, so it usually took him a whole lot longer to even complete such a simple task as washing a plate. When Alexander came back, he turned on the TV and handled Eli a glass of water.
‘Drink this, it has something that will help with the digestion, since rice has a slow process of dissolution.’ he said laying down on the margin of the bed again.
‘Thanks. Why are you doing this?’ Eli asked.
‘Well, why wouldn’t I? You are my employee, so I need to take care of you. And I like you, so that’s a bonus.’
Eli smiled on the inside. Maybe he wasn’t such a bad guy after all.
‘And because Kevin asked me.’ he added.
Eli almost chocked on his medicated water.
‘He was worried when he heard you collapsed all of a sudden, so I promised him I would take good care of you. He’s been asking about you non-stop.’
‘You should have brought him over.’ Eli said.
‘I wanted to, but I just figured that since you’re returning to work tomorrow, there wouldn’t be much point in it. He’s dying to see you, anyway.’
‘I know, I can’t wait to see him too.’
Alexander smiled at him, then got up.
‘Well, I’m off. It’s getting pretty late and I have a busy day tomorrow.’
‘What are you doing?’
‘Going shopping with my mom.’ he smirked. ‘Go to bed early and remember to drink lots of liquids for the next few days.’
‘I will. And thank you again for everything.’
‘Don’t mention it.’ he grinned, then took his coat and headed for the exit. When Eli had been left alone, he replayed Alexander’s words in his head again and again, until he convinced himself they were real. ‘Kevin asked me to. He’s been asking about you. He’s dying to see you.’
**
The next morning, after waking up, taking a quick shower and heading directly for the hospital, without bothering to eat something, Eli was trying to catch his breath in the elevator, while at the same time covering his ears to conceal the dreadful metal noise. He passed all the rooms of the second floor, briefly greeted nurse Bess and stopped promptly in front of Kevin’s door. One knock. Two knocks. Three, four. He then headed to the library, which was more crowded than usual that day. He started scanning the tables, spotting him in his usual place, way in the back. He rushed over to him, then sat on the chair situated at the opposite side of the table.
‘Morning’, he said.
Kevin looked up from his philosophy book, forgetting to close his mouth for a split second. Then he jumped over the table and hugged Eli as tightly as human possible.
‘You’re back! And you’re okay!’ he almost screamed, causing the other people to look awed at him.
‘I am.’ Eli laughed, hugging him back. ‘I missed you.’
‘I know, me too. It was stupid of me to avoid you for such a long time. I’m really sorry.’
‘So you did avoid me. I figured. Alexander told me you were concerned.’
‘Of course I was, you fainted because of me. You shouldn’t stop eating properly, not even when you’re feeling down.’
‘Says the guy who covers himself with books. Even alcohol would be better.’
Kevin laughed. Eli surely missed that laugh.
‘I thought about this.’ he then continued. ‘About us. And I realized I was stupid rejecting you like that. But still, you have to give me some time to adapt to this whole thing. To figure things out.’
Kevin looked at him bewildered.
‘What are you saying?’
‘I want to try this. I want to be with you. Being away from you only made me realize I might actually feel something for you. But I must warn you - don’t build up false hopes. I need to take things slow.’
Kevin listened to him seriously, not moving an inch. And then he smiled, wider and wider, until he was laughing. Actually laughing.
‘We’ll take it slow. As slow as you want.’
And he hugged him once more.
Fandom: U-KISS
Characters & Pairings: Elvin, Xander, OFC, other possible episodic characters.
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance, Fluff, Humor, Drama
Summary: "Because the language confuses, like computers refuse to understand how I'm feeling today."
Eli is new to this world. Kevin makes him feel like home.
Disclaimer: The title belongs to English rock-band Muse, as well as the lyrics, extracted from their 2002 album entitled ”Hullabaloo”. I am in no way, shape or form affiliated with the named group, or any characters presented in this writing. No copyright infringement intended.
Read: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5
Day seven.
He had hurt Kevin. He had hurt Kevin and he knew it. The image of the crushed expression on his face had been playing in his head all night long, over and over again, until he got a headache. He didn’t even know why he reacted the way he did; after all, all Kevin did was to sincerely express his feelings towards him, after clearly asking him not to get mad. Yet still, he pushed himself away, as if Kevin had some sort of incurable virus.
But why did Eli do that? Was he truly stating the truth when saying that he didn’t like Kevin in that way? He didn’t know. The only thing he was sure of was that it felt really good kissing him. He had kissed before, went on dates, had countless girlfriends, but this felt different. It felt new to him, and not because Kevin was male. He was always warm, which made Eli want to hug him all the time. He seemed fragile on the outside, but keen and determined on the inside. He was an optimist, a dreamer and a visionary. He liked being hold, caressed, taken care of, which Eli certainly didn’t mind. Then again, he didn’t pull away because Kevin was a patient, nor because he had to behave in an ethical way at his workplace. It was because kissing him felt so right, yet so wrong at the same time.
The alarm went off, making Eli jump slightly, as he was sitting on his back, facing the ceiling, with his arms under his head. He hadn’t closed his eyes all night, and now he had to get up and go to work. Go to see Kevin. Go face him and explain that they couldn’t be together. At least, not like that. And he knew he would be tired all day, which will make the situation even worse to deal with.
He opened the window and let the chilly air make its way through. He breathed all in, filling his lungs with a cold breeze, then sneezed. He closed the damn window back again and kicked it.
’Yeah, that’s great.’ he muttered to himself. ‘Keep doing that and you’ll have another thing to pay for.’
He continued punching the walls on his way to the bathroom, although not hard. He might as well punch everything, now that he was in the mood for it. The door, the mirror, the pillows, the lamp. Now he was feeling better. He opened all the windows in the house once more, to create a strong stream of air. Would the flood of air slide Kevin’s image from his head away? No, of course not. It took away some papers and only made him shiver, but Kevin remained there in his head, clenched onto his brain like a tree to the ground.
After an hour Eli found himself in front of the hospital, walking slowly towards the entrance. After getting inside he greeted the nurse at the welcoming desk and proceeded into the elevator. He felt quite calm, for some reason, though he knew that once seeing Kevin, his heart would start racing. He checked in and then bumped into Alexander, who was about to finish up his shift and leave.
‘Well you look happy this morning.’ the older smiled knowingly. ‘Didn’t have much sleep?’
‘Didn’t have any sleep at all’. Eli answered. ‘Do I look that bad?’
‘You look like Kevin. He didn’t sleep at all, either. We stood up all night, listening to music and reading magazines. He didn’t say much, which doesn’t really define him. Did he say anything to you yesterday? Or did something happen?’
Eli swallowed before replying.
‘No, nothing. We had a great time at all the places we went to, and he seemed sort of tired when we got back, so I’m surprised he didn’t sleep. I couldn’t because of my neighbors’ stupid dogs, but he had no reason not to. Unless he got sick? Did he catch a cold?’
‘He didn’t, he just seemed…nostalgic. Maybe because it only lasted a day? As I know Kevin, he probably would have loved to travel across the world. Anyway, I gave him something earlier and he’s asleep now, he’ll probably wake up later today. Well, I’m off. Oh, and try to make Kylie eat something, will you? She refuses to take anything in.’
‘I will, don’t worry. Have a good rest.’
‘Thanks. See you tomorrow.’
With that and a smile, Alexander left, leaving Eli jealous again. Of course he spent his entire night with Kevin, he just had to. He didn’t know why he got so possessive each time one of them mentioned spending time with the other - Xander was, after all, a pretty impressive individual. And Kevin wouldn’t have picked him as his best friend if he weren’t. But even with that in his head, he still wasn’t very fond of their relationship.
He changed his clothes and started working on the residents’ files. He sorted them alphabetically, filled up missing information, noted extra observations he had noticed over the past few days, measured various dozes of pills and syrup for some of them and prepared the daily syringes for the others. Every once in a while, his eyes would glance over to Kevin’s room, wanting to go in and check on him, but re-focusing himself each time. He finished everything at around 2 PM. He actually felt surprised that he had done so much in such a quick time - practically taking care of an entire cabinet packed with archives. He felt proud and less tired.
A well-deserved lunch break was in order. The staff’s cafeteria was always open, even during the night, but Eli didn’t really feel like socializing with anybody. So instead he went into Alexander’s office, locked himself in and sat on his chair. He had never been there before - the guy was indeed very tidy. Everything was sparkling-clean and there were no signs of disarrangement whatsoever. It was actually sort of creepy how a male his age could be so mother-like, but then again, he had encountered worse.
He unpacked two sandwiches and starting nibbling slowly on the first one. He felt so tired again that the snack didn’t have any taste, but since his stomach was growling, he had to do something about it. Eli had to admit it was nice in there - plenty of light, but not the bright kind that blinds you, a hidden scent of citrus, a comfortable leather chair and blue. Lots of blue.
After ten minutes, when he was barely preparing to start eating the second sandwich, he heard a knock on the door. He immediately stood up, discharging any indication of food, trying to make as little noise as possible. Maybe if he kept silent, the person knocking would realize Alexander was not there and would leave. But of course the second set of knocks came in, making Eli panic.
‘Xander? It’s me, Kevin.’
‘Well isn’t that marvelous’, Eli thought to himself. His heart started speeding a little, just like he had predicted, but he went to the door and opened it. When meeting his eyes, both of them paralyzed for a few seconds, Kevin asking himself why was Eli in Xander’s office and Eli not thinking at all. Truth is Kevin looked adorable. He could tell he had just woken up, judging by his puffy cheeks and messy hair.
‘Eli… hi.’ he finally said in a small voice.
‘Hey’ Eli stepped aside, indicating for him to come in. Afterward he closed the door and took out the other sandwich, still intact, offering it to the younger. Kevin took it with insecure hands, then smiled a bit.
‘Thanks. Where’s Xander? What are you doing here?’
‘Alexander finished his shift this morning, after you fell asleep. And, well, I’m here for my lunch break. I didn’t feel like talking about all sorts of crap that doesn’t really interest me, anyway. So I came here to eat, since it’s quiet and nobody bothers me.’
‘Oh, I’m sorry, I…’ Kevin was heading towards the door. Eli grabbed his hand.
‘Don’t go. You don’t bother me. Besides, it was getting kind of too quiet.’
After that none of them said anything for the next minutes, with Eli staring outside the window and Kevin munching onto his sandwich quietly.
‘Listen, about yesterday.’ Eli started. ‘I’m sorry I overreacted like that. You didn’t do anything wrong.’
‘I didn’t?’ Kevin asked hopefully, turning his eyes at him. ‘So… does that mean…’
He didn’t continue, waiting for Eli to respond to his unasked question. Eli just sighed.
‘I need to be honest with you, because otherwise it won’t work. I like you, you know that. And it’s insane how attached I grew to you, considering we’ve known each other for only a week. I want to make you happy, I want to have you around me, but yesterday’s kiss was…’
He didn’t know how to say it so that Kevin wouldn’t misinterpret his words.
‘…not even a real kiss?’ Kevin joked, even if he felt sad. ‘It’s okay, you don’t have to explain. I should’ve known better. But I don’t have much experience in this field, so I just thought… never mind. But, I don’t want you to be awkward around me.’
It hurt Eli seeing him like this. He tried to talk normal, but his voice was shaking. He tried to maintain eye contact, but he would look at his shoes each time. He tried to stop gesticulating so much, but his hands were out of control.
‘I’m not going to. But you have to promise me that you’re okay with this. I know you’re not particularly fine right now, but I don’t want things to change between us. So I thought…’
‘Yes?’
‘…I thought we should stop hanging out for a while, at least until things calm down. If we continue spending time together, nothing will change.’
Kevin looked like he was on the verge of crying.
‘You… you want us to stop talking?’
‘No, God no.’ Eli came closer, placing his hands on Kevin’s shoulders. ‘I still want to be your friend. And I still want for us to go out, like yesterday. But right now things are a bit slippery, and I don’t want this to end. Not like this.’
‘I see.’ Kevin breathed in. ‘I think I should go.’
‘Kevin.’
‘No, it’s fine’ he said, heading for the door. He was smiling, but underneath it Eli could see only unhappiness. ‘I understand. See you later.’
And with that he left the room, leaving a miserable Eli behind.
**
Two weeks had passed. Two weeks filled with distress, worry, misery, I wonder what is he doing right now, concern, insomnia, why is he hiding from me, unrest, lack of appetite, lack of life, lack of everything. Kevin seemed to be spotted less and less. Eli knew, because without even realizing, he had developed an obsession of wanting to see him every hour - he had to know he was okay and that he wasn’t undergoing a depressive state, because in his condition, that couldn’t be beneficial. He was mostly either locked up in his room, or reading in the library. It was ridiculous how much he was reading. A novel per day was way over the top, even for bookworm Kevin. He was trying to keep things off his mind as much as possible, but he was beginning to get tired from sleepless nights of constant reading.
Eli was pretty much in the same state. He was severely lacking appetite, which made him collapse one day while speaking with one of the nurses. He was immediately sent home for the next two days, along with a bunch of home-cooked meals and medicine, free of charge. All of these were from Alexander, who was making sure to visit in the morning and evening.
‘I don’t get it. What’s wrong with both of you?’ he asked while sitting on Eli’s bed, the second late afternoon. ‘You pass out and Kevin reads like there’s no tomorrow. Well, Kevin always reads like there’s no tomorrow, but this time it feels like he’s trying to memorize every little word or something. Did you have a fight?’
Eli swallowed his sushi before replying, since Alexander didn’t let him talk with his mouth full (or get out of bed, for that matter). He said that the risk of chocking was higher when people talked with food in their mouths.
‘We didn’t. You can also ask him and he’s going to say the same thing.’
‘I know that, I already asked. A gazillion times. But obviously he’s not planning on telling me anything. Besides, the whole thing started after you two came back that Saturday evening. What happened?’
‘Nothing happened, I swear.’ Eli said, widening his eyes and trying to look as convincing as possible.
‘Don’t talk with your mouth full. Well if nothing happened, how do you explain his behavior? I don’t like seeing him like this.’
‘I know, me neither. Maybe it’s just a phase? He is, after all, still young, even if he’s not an adolescent anymore. It’ll probably pass soon.’
‘Maybe, or maybe not. I’m going to be honest here, I think you two are hiding something. If you had a fight, then just apologize to each other, it’s not hard. But whatever one of you did is making him unhappy and I don’t know what do to anymore to cheer him up.’
Eli didn’t say anything. He wanted to get up and take the plate into the kitchen, but Alexander stopped him and snagged it before Eli could make a move.
‘You stay here. I’ll wash this and I’ll be right back.’
He was faster than Eli had thought. He was not good at house duties, so it usually took him a whole lot longer to even complete such a simple task as washing a plate. When Alexander came back, he turned on the TV and handled Eli a glass of water.
‘Drink this, it has something that will help with the digestion, since rice has a slow process of dissolution.’ he said laying down on the margin of the bed again.
‘Thanks. Why are you doing this?’ Eli asked.
‘Well, why wouldn’t I? You are my employee, so I need to take care of you. And I like you, so that’s a bonus.’
Eli smiled on the inside. Maybe he wasn’t such a bad guy after all.
‘And because Kevin asked me.’ he added.
Eli almost chocked on his medicated water.
‘He was worried when he heard you collapsed all of a sudden, so I promised him I would take good care of you. He’s been asking about you non-stop.’
‘You should have brought him over.’ Eli said.
‘I wanted to, but I just figured that since you’re returning to work tomorrow, there wouldn’t be much point in it. He’s dying to see you, anyway.’
‘I know, I can’t wait to see him too.’
Alexander smiled at him, then got up.
‘Well, I’m off. It’s getting pretty late and I have a busy day tomorrow.’
‘What are you doing?’
‘Going shopping with my mom.’ he smirked. ‘Go to bed early and remember to drink lots of liquids for the next few days.’
‘I will. And thank you again for everything.’
‘Don’t mention it.’ he grinned, then took his coat and headed for the exit. When Eli had been left alone, he replayed Alexander’s words in his head again and again, until he convinced himself they were real. ‘Kevin asked me to. He’s been asking about you. He’s dying to see you.’
**
The next morning, after waking up, taking a quick shower and heading directly for the hospital, without bothering to eat something, Eli was trying to catch his breath in the elevator, while at the same time covering his ears to conceal the dreadful metal noise. He passed all the rooms of the second floor, briefly greeted nurse Bess and stopped promptly in front of Kevin’s door. One knock. Two knocks. Three, four. He then headed to the library, which was more crowded than usual that day. He started scanning the tables, spotting him in his usual place, way in the back. He rushed over to him, then sat on the chair situated at the opposite side of the table.
‘Morning’, he said.
Kevin looked up from his philosophy book, forgetting to close his mouth for a split second. Then he jumped over the table and hugged Eli as tightly as human possible.
‘You’re back! And you’re okay!’ he almost screamed, causing the other people to look awed at him.
‘I am.’ Eli laughed, hugging him back. ‘I missed you.’
‘I know, me too. It was stupid of me to avoid you for such a long time. I’m really sorry.’
‘So you did avoid me. I figured. Alexander told me you were concerned.’
‘Of course I was, you fainted because of me. You shouldn’t stop eating properly, not even when you’re feeling down.’
‘Says the guy who covers himself with books. Even alcohol would be better.’
Kevin laughed. Eli surely missed that laugh.
‘I thought about this.’ he then continued. ‘About us. And I realized I was stupid rejecting you like that. But still, you have to give me some time to adapt to this whole thing. To figure things out.’
Kevin looked at him bewildered.
‘What are you saying?’
‘I want to try this. I want to be with you. Being away from you only made me realize I might actually feel something for you. But I must warn you - don’t build up false hopes. I need to take things slow.’
Kevin listened to him seriously, not moving an inch. And then he smiled, wider and wider, until he was laughing. Actually laughing.
‘We’ll take it slow. As slow as you want.’
And he hugged him once more.