Map of your head (chapter 4)
Title: Map of your head
Fandom: U-KISS
Characters & Pairings: Elvin, Xander, OFC, other possible episodic characters.
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance, Fluff, Humor, Drama
Summary: "Because the language confuses, like computers refuse to understand how I'm feeling today."
Eli is new to this world. Kevin makes him feel like home.
Disclaimer: The title belongs to English rock-band Muse, as well as the lyrics, extracted from their 2002 album entitled ”Hullabaloo”. I am in no way, shape or form affiliated with the named group, or any characters presented in this writing. No copyright infringement intended.
Read: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3
Day six.
The next three days felt like lingering for an eternity. Eli had to befriend everybody he was responsible with, since his employment policy stated so. He had to spend time with everyone equally and avoid treating them differently. That was easier said than done, though. The others weren’t inviting like Kevin, they mostly kept it to themselves, sometimes refusing to talk back or end the conversations randomly, by walking away in the middle of a sentence without finishing it. They didn’t have Kevin’s bright smile and cute laugh. They weren’t endowed with Kevin’s intelligence. They didn’t possess Kevin’s endearing personality. They lacked Kevin’s enthusiasm. Eli tormented his brains out, trying to think of an explanation for the fact that he just couldn’t bond with them. The answer was relatively simple, though.
They weren’t Kevin.
Kevin was everything they were short of and they didn’t have anything of what Kevin did. However, this epiphany didn’t discourage Eli, since he was aware that socializing and interacting with people was one of his skills, so it was just a matter of time before this issue would be put to an end.
On Wednesday, he talked with both Alexander and nurse Bess about the possibility of taking Kevin out to a park. It wasn’t easy convincing them, since the worried and indecisive expressions on their faces were almost screaming a refusal. Eli started explaining how he was capable of handling the whole situation, how he would shelter Kevin from too much exposure and make sure he had the time of his life.
‘I know how Kevin can be easy to get attached to, but you know too well we don’t do favoritism around here.’ nurse Bess said gravely. ‘I’m not denying we all have our favorites, since it’s hard not to form certain relationships with them. But treating a particular patient differently just because you like him or her more is not exactly what I would call understandable.’
Alexander, who was right next to her, didn’t say anything, although Eli felt he was on his side. Both of them knew how much this would mean to Kevin, but going against nurse Bess wasn’t a smart thing to do.
‘Kevin isn’t in any way my favorite.’ Eli replied, trying to act as best as he could. ‘I don’t prefer him over others, but you have to admit that he is the most lucid resident we have. I want to do this only because he’s the only one who would be capable of appreciating the surroundings, or the beauty of it. We all know how smart he is - explaining him that I would be taking him out only to allow him to experience new things would be a very easy fee. I’ll make sure he understands that this nothing more than a walk and that it won’t become routine. Besides, you know it would make him happy.’ he finished, wondering if all the lying he put up would work.
Alexander cleared his throat, feeling like he was in court and had to explain his evidence to a judge.
‘I agree with Eli. I know this is a pretty risky thing, but we both know he is capable of taking good care of people. And Kevin is, as he said earlier, the smartest and clearheaded patient we have. Besides, I’ve been knowing Kevin for years now, and I remember him telling me how much he would like to see what’s out there. And to be blunt, what’s the worst that can happen?’
Nurse Bess looked intensively at the floor for a minute, before responding that she should think about it and give him an answer the following day. On Thursday, after bumping into Eli right as he was coming out of a cabinet, she announced that she had made up her mind.
‘Alright, you have permission to take him. But hear me out - only if you promise to watch after him with every passing second and to never leave his side. Don’t allow him to go astray, since he is the curious type and he would do that. And don’t be late, bring him back before it gets dark. Make sure he is hydrated every hour and fed properly. Being skinny like that, is easy to faint from lack of suitable alimentation.’
‘Yes, ma’am.’ Eli smiled. ‘Don’t worry, he is in good hands. And thank you, you have no idea how overjoyed he’ll be after hearing the news.’
‘I know he will. You two have fun.’
‘Will do.’ he smiled once more, before retrieving and starting walking towards Kevin’s room. He knocked once, then entered. Kevin was sitting on the bed, reading a book upside-down. The window was open.
‘Guess what.’ Eli said, visibly excited.
Kevin didn’t seem to hear him, or notice his presence. He was so absorbed by the encyclopedia in his hands that he even stopped breathing. The older boy came closer and bent his head, trying to read the title: ‘Anatomy of the human brain. The art of reversed psychology.’ It was one of the books he had to learn from while in university and remembered how hard it was. Kevin really needed to be admired for having the will to read and comprehend something like that.
‘So here I come, bringing good news, and you ignore me.’ Eli said, smiling. ‘Alright then, keep on reading. But I think I should let you know that I also studied it, so I could basically summarize it for you. And two, I thought you wanted to hear about the amusement park, but since you’re too busy…’ he pretended to walk away.
Something seemed to have snapped in Kevin’s mind.
‘Wait, wait. What amusement park? You talked to nurse Bess? And Xander?’
‘Done, and done. Although frankly, I didn’t need Alexander’s permission, since he was on our side. But to put it simple, we’re going out on Saturday.’ he replied, waiting for a scream, a shocked reaction or a thrilled expression. However, Kevin didn’t display any of those. He just had a blank look, staring directly into Eli’s eyes, not moving a muscle. That sort of left the older feeling disappointed.
‘Going out on Saturday.’ Kevin repeated slowly, relishing every word, apparently not wanting to believe his ears. ‘Going to an amusement park.’
He then got up, walked to Eli and embraced him. It was a cautious, yet tender hug, which expressed all of Kevin’s unspoken gratitude. The other smiled, relieved that he was so thankful for it and returned the gesture, while slowly drawing circles on his back with his right hand.
‘Just keep in mind that we’re going to a park. A very quiet, very isolated location. So don’t tell anyone.’
‘I won’t. I just can’t wait.’ Kevin whispered elatedly.
**
After two more days of waiting anxiously and making plans, Saturday had finally arrived, bringing a somewhat chilly, but nonetheless perfect day for spending it in an amusement park. Eli made sure Kevin was all wrapped up in warm clothes, while the younger was whining.
‘I’m going to boil in these. It’s not that cold outside, let it loose on the sweater.’
‘If you wanna go, you have to listen to me. Otherwise we’ll stay here all day. And I’m going to make you read something really boring, like Einstein’s theories about physics.’
‘I already read them. They’re not boring.’
‘Whatever you say.’ Eli chuckled, closing the buttons of Kevin’s jacket all the way up. He then unloosed his own scarf from around his neck and placed it on Kevin’s, reassuring that there was no room for the chilly air to get in.
‘There we go. Ready?’
‘As ready as ever.’ the younger smiled, already heading for the door.
**
‘We’ll need to take a cab, since it’s too far away. But when we get back, we’ll have to walk.’ Eli explained after finding themselves outside, calculating in his head the total amount of money he had taken, dividing it correspondingly. Kevin didn’t seem to be bothered by his financial lack. He simply took Eli’s hand into his own, beaming reassuringly that everything was going to be okay.
‘Don’t let go of my hand, okay?’ Eli asked. ‘I don’t want you to get lost.’
That was actually a lie, since he knew that Kevin wouldn’t leave his side no matter what. But feeling his warm, soft touch ran a pleasant shiver down his spine and he didn’t feel like losing that sort of fondle. In response, Kevin entwined his fingers with Eli’s, nodding approvingly.
The cab ride lasted for approximately twenty minutes, during which time Kevin kept cuddling into Eli as if his life depended on it. He didn’t know how to react at first, but eventually he placed an arm around his shoulders, allowing him to sink even more into the soft hoodie Eli was wearing, which made Kevin squeal with happiness. The driver looked at them through the rear-view mirror, smirking fondly and understandingly. They probably looked like a couple going on a date.
After arriving in front of the park and paying for the ride, they got out of the car and stopped for a short moment to inhale deeply - the sweet smell of bubblegum and cotton candy and the alluring one of barbecue made their noses fret with delight, persuading them into hurrying towards the numerous food stands. But the terrific smells and multitude of colors paled in comparison to the impressive number of people - they were surrounding the two from all sides, ranging in age from toddlers to elders. There was barely any space left to move around, something which Eli didn’t expect.
‘Should we eat something first, to gain some energy?’ he asked Kevin, turning to look at him. However, he didn’t get any reply.
Kevin became suddenly pale, looking around frantically, rubbing his fingers together in such an agitated manner that he was about to break them. His pupils dilated, making his usually light brown eyes look almost black, and he was breathing unevenly. Eli immediately placed a hand on his forehead, to check his temperature, while grabbing with the other hand his hectic fingers.
‘Kevin? What’s wrong? What happened?’ he asked concerned. He didn’t have a fever; on the contrary, his forehead was sweaty and cold.
‘Do you want a hot chocolate to get warm? Are you feeling sick? For the love of God, say something.’
Kevin then looked at him as if he had only then realized Eli was right beside him. He took a deep breath to calm himself down, then spoke:
‘I’m fine, I just had a moment. It’s okay, don’t worry.’
‘But what happened?’
‘Well, it’s a bit crowded… but I’ll be fine. Let’s… let’s go and… find something to do.’ he stuttered.
Eli noticed he kept gazing back and forth from the people surrounding them to the ground, like he was trying to establish a connection that in reality didn’t exist. He was trying to keep focused, but when he started trembling Eli understood things were getting out of control.
‘I… too many, I… can’t…. don’t want to…’ Kevin now looked like he was starting to undergo a seizure. He grabbed his hair and started pulling really hard.
‘Go away… go… leave me alone.’ he was shaking so badly, Eli panicked. He then understood what was wrong with him.
‘Let’s get out of here.’ he said, gently embracing Kevin and guiding him towards the exit. ‘We’ll find a quiet place.’
They found themselves in some sort of garden five minutes later, quite far from the busy park. It hosted several long pathways, supplied with benches on each side, while tall, hefty trees were sheltering them from the sun. Everything was bathed in a dim, butter-colored light, which gave the place a one-of-a-kind atmosphere. They sat on one of the benches, after which Eli positioned Kevin so that he could hold him like an infant, slowly rocking him until he almost recovered.
‘It’s okay.’ Eli whispered. ‘We’re alone now.’
Kevin kept hiding his face, burying it in the older’s clothes. He wouldn’t let go of Eli’s hoodie - it was like releasing it would result in dreadful consequences. Even if the accelerated cardiac rhythm had slowed down, he was still slightly shaking.
‘Look around.’ he encouraged Kevin. ‘There’s nobody.’
After a few more minutes, he had finally mustered up the courage to raise his head. The place was indeed completely deserted, although it didn’t hold the negative connotation of the word.
‘I’m sorry.’ Eli said in the end. ‘I should’ve read your medical file. I was planning to, but then all of this came to my mind, and I couldn’t think of anything else but how to bring you here. I should’ve figured out you were there for a reason. I’m so sorry.’
Kevin kept silent for a brief moment, before responding.
‘Do you know why I have antropophobia?’
‘No.’
‘I was seven. It was during the winter holiday, after I had just begun first grade. All of my friends had left in vacation with their families, so I was left alone. I went outside to play in the snow. I started making a snowman, therefore I didn’t realize time passed so quickly. Soon it got dark, but I wanted to finish it, so I figured I could stay twenty more minutes. And then two men came.’
His voice started shaking, but he didn’t stop.
‘They asked about my name and my age. Being the naïve and innocent kid that I was, I told them. They promised me sweets and money, if I went with them in return in their car. And so I hopped in without thinking for a second what was about to happen.’
His eyes started tearing.
‘Kevin, it’s okay, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.’ Eli said with a small voice.
‘We drove for about half an hour.’ he continued. ‘I’m not sure where they took me, but it looked like an old, abandoned factory somewhere on the outskirts of the city. They blindfolded me, grabbed my arms and legs and took me inside. I started hearing more voices once I got in, but I obviously couldn’t see their faces.’
His lower lip began trembling, while his glassy eyes fixed themselves in the distance.
‘And then they raped me. One by one, they raped me. It was the most excruciating pain I have ever felt. It was like my insides were being torn apart. I started bleeding and vomiting, but they didn’t care. They kept on laughing and doing their job. I thought I was never going to get out of there alive. I thought it was never going to end. Seconds seemed like hours, hours seemed like days. And after what appeared to be an eternity, I heard police sirens. It was probably the most blessed sound in the world. They immediately started scattering away, grabbing whatever they could and leaving me behind, on the floor, naked. I remember two police officers came inside, holding a flashlight. I could spot its rays through the material of my blindfold. One of them told his partner that I was probably already dead, because I wasn’t moving. I tried to give them a signal, but I just couldn’t motion any of my muscles, I felt so powerless. Then the piece of cloth was removed from my eyes and I was instantly blinded by the wieldy glow. Afterward everything went dark. I passed out. I found myself two days later on a hospital bed. And that’s when I stopped trusting people.’
Listening to his story, Eli didn’t realize he had started crying. Kevin’s tears had already dried out, but now he was simply staring at nothing, leaning comfortably into the older’s chest, while being held even closer. Eli wiped his eyes and cheeks and lifted Kevin’s chin with his fingers. He then kissed his forehead, which earned him a smile.
‘I didn’t know. This is all my fault, I should’ve thought twice before attempting something like that.’
Kevin placed his index finger on his lips, making him stop talking.
‘It isn’t anybody’s fault. I wanted to go, you wanted me to have a good time. Besides, I sort of knew it was going to be crowded beforehand, yet I still accepted. And you know why?’
‘Why?’
‘Because I was going to be with you.’
That left Eli more than a little surprised, but above all, it made him happy. He still regretted exposing Kevin like that, but at the same time he knew it had been worth it. It made no sense in his head, but who cared. It felt right.
‘But you’re being surrounded by people at the hospital, too. The other patients, the nurses, the doctors. Yet you’re okay.’
‘It’s different with them, I guess.’ Kevin thought. ‘Given the fact that mentally they’re not truly there, most of the time, makes it irrelevant to my condition. And the nurses only approach me when needed - during lunch, bedtime and so on.’
‘Shouldn’t you be subjected to psychiatric meetings, instead of being locked in an asylum? I remember studying about phobias in college, and we were told that they’re usually treated using psychological methods.’
‘That’s what my parents first went for. I visited countless shrinks, but nothing worked. In school I couldn’t really bond with anybody, since I was too scared to talk to them. My teachers would let me stay alone during classes, because I hated when I was accidentally touched by someone. After a few years, a doctor suggested our hospital. And well, here I am.’
The wind started blowing faster, enclosing them from all directions.
‘Do you want to go back? It’s getting cold.’ Eli asked, hugging him tighter.
‘No, it’s too early. We could just stay here, I don’t mind. Or find some other place.’
‘I do have a place in mind, actually.’ Eli said, seeming unsure. ‘But I don’t know if you’ll like it. I was thinking we could go to my place. We can take another cab, it won’t take long.’
‘But you said we’ll have to walk back.’
‘Do you really feel like walking?’ Eli smiled.
‘Point taken. Well, then…’
Kevin stood up all of a sudden, taking him by surprise.
‘I can’t wait to see your home.’ he grinned, stretching him arm and motioning for Eli to take it into his own.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Note: Antropophobia is described as fear of people or society.
Fandom: U-KISS
Characters & Pairings: Elvin, Xander, OFC, other possible episodic characters.
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance, Fluff, Humor, Drama
Summary: "Because the language confuses, like computers refuse to understand how I'm feeling today."
Eli is new to this world. Kevin makes him feel like home.
Disclaimer: The title belongs to English rock-band Muse, as well as the lyrics, extracted from their 2002 album entitled ”Hullabaloo”. I am in no way, shape or form affiliated with the named group, or any characters presented in this writing. No copyright infringement intended.
Read: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3
Day six.
The next three days felt like lingering for an eternity. Eli had to befriend everybody he was responsible with, since his employment policy stated so. He had to spend time with everyone equally and avoid treating them differently. That was easier said than done, though. The others weren’t inviting like Kevin, they mostly kept it to themselves, sometimes refusing to talk back or end the conversations randomly, by walking away in the middle of a sentence without finishing it. They didn’t have Kevin’s bright smile and cute laugh. They weren’t endowed with Kevin’s intelligence. They didn’t possess Kevin’s endearing personality. They lacked Kevin’s enthusiasm. Eli tormented his brains out, trying to think of an explanation for the fact that he just couldn’t bond with them. The answer was relatively simple, though.
They weren’t Kevin.
Kevin was everything they were short of and they didn’t have anything of what Kevin did. However, this epiphany didn’t discourage Eli, since he was aware that socializing and interacting with people was one of his skills, so it was just a matter of time before this issue would be put to an end.
On Wednesday, he talked with both Alexander and nurse Bess about the possibility of taking Kevin out to a park. It wasn’t easy convincing them, since the worried and indecisive expressions on their faces were almost screaming a refusal. Eli started explaining how he was capable of handling the whole situation, how he would shelter Kevin from too much exposure and make sure he had the time of his life.
‘I know how Kevin can be easy to get attached to, but you know too well we don’t do favoritism around here.’ nurse Bess said gravely. ‘I’m not denying we all have our favorites, since it’s hard not to form certain relationships with them. But treating a particular patient differently just because you like him or her more is not exactly what I would call understandable.’
Alexander, who was right next to her, didn’t say anything, although Eli felt he was on his side. Both of them knew how much this would mean to Kevin, but going against nurse Bess wasn’t a smart thing to do.
‘Kevin isn’t in any way my favorite.’ Eli replied, trying to act as best as he could. ‘I don’t prefer him over others, but you have to admit that he is the most lucid resident we have. I want to do this only because he’s the only one who would be capable of appreciating the surroundings, or the beauty of it. We all know how smart he is - explaining him that I would be taking him out only to allow him to experience new things would be a very easy fee. I’ll make sure he understands that this nothing more than a walk and that it won’t become routine. Besides, you know it would make him happy.’ he finished, wondering if all the lying he put up would work.
Alexander cleared his throat, feeling like he was in court and had to explain his evidence to a judge.
‘I agree with Eli. I know this is a pretty risky thing, but we both know he is capable of taking good care of people. And Kevin is, as he said earlier, the smartest and clearheaded patient we have. Besides, I’ve been knowing Kevin for years now, and I remember him telling me how much he would like to see what’s out there. And to be blunt, what’s the worst that can happen?’
Nurse Bess looked intensively at the floor for a minute, before responding that she should think about it and give him an answer the following day. On Thursday, after bumping into Eli right as he was coming out of a cabinet, she announced that she had made up her mind.
‘Alright, you have permission to take him. But hear me out - only if you promise to watch after him with every passing second and to never leave his side. Don’t allow him to go astray, since he is the curious type and he would do that. And don’t be late, bring him back before it gets dark. Make sure he is hydrated every hour and fed properly. Being skinny like that, is easy to faint from lack of suitable alimentation.’
‘Yes, ma’am.’ Eli smiled. ‘Don’t worry, he is in good hands. And thank you, you have no idea how overjoyed he’ll be after hearing the news.’
‘I know he will. You two have fun.’
‘Will do.’ he smiled once more, before retrieving and starting walking towards Kevin’s room. He knocked once, then entered. Kevin was sitting on the bed, reading a book upside-down. The window was open.
‘Guess what.’ Eli said, visibly excited.
Kevin didn’t seem to hear him, or notice his presence. He was so absorbed by the encyclopedia in his hands that he even stopped breathing. The older boy came closer and bent his head, trying to read the title: ‘Anatomy of the human brain. The art of reversed psychology.’ It was one of the books he had to learn from while in university and remembered how hard it was. Kevin really needed to be admired for having the will to read and comprehend something like that.
‘So here I come, bringing good news, and you ignore me.’ Eli said, smiling. ‘Alright then, keep on reading. But I think I should let you know that I also studied it, so I could basically summarize it for you. And two, I thought you wanted to hear about the amusement park, but since you’re too busy…’ he pretended to walk away.
Something seemed to have snapped in Kevin’s mind.
‘Wait, wait. What amusement park? You talked to nurse Bess? And Xander?’
‘Done, and done. Although frankly, I didn’t need Alexander’s permission, since he was on our side. But to put it simple, we’re going out on Saturday.’ he replied, waiting for a scream, a shocked reaction or a thrilled expression. However, Kevin didn’t display any of those. He just had a blank look, staring directly into Eli’s eyes, not moving a muscle. That sort of left the older feeling disappointed.
‘Going out on Saturday.’ Kevin repeated slowly, relishing every word, apparently not wanting to believe his ears. ‘Going to an amusement park.’
He then got up, walked to Eli and embraced him. It was a cautious, yet tender hug, which expressed all of Kevin’s unspoken gratitude. The other smiled, relieved that he was so thankful for it and returned the gesture, while slowly drawing circles on his back with his right hand.
‘Just keep in mind that we’re going to a park. A very quiet, very isolated location. So don’t tell anyone.’
‘I won’t. I just can’t wait.’ Kevin whispered elatedly.
**
After two more days of waiting anxiously and making plans, Saturday had finally arrived, bringing a somewhat chilly, but nonetheless perfect day for spending it in an amusement park. Eli made sure Kevin was all wrapped up in warm clothes, while the younger was whining.
‘I’m going to boil in these. It’s not that cold outside, let it loose on the sweater.’
‘If you wanna go, you have to listen to me. Otherwise we’ll stay here all day. And I’m going to make you read something really boring, like Einstein’s theories about physics.’
‘I already read them. They’re not boring.’
‘Whatever you say.’ Eli chuckled, closing the buttons of Kevin’s jacket all the way up. He then unloosed his own scarf from around his neck and placed it on Kevin’s, reassuring that there was no room for the chilly air to get in.
‘There we go. Ready?’
‘As ready as ever.’ the younger smiled, already heading for the door.
**
‘We’ll need to take a cab, since it’s too far away. But when we get back, we’ll have to walk.’ Eli explained after finding themselves outside, calculating in his head the total amount of money he had taken, dividing it correspondingly. Kevin didn’t seem to be bothered by his financial lack. He simply took Eli’s hand into his own, beaming reassuringly that everything was going to be okay.
‘Don’t let go of my hand, okay?’ Eli asked. ‘I don’t want you to get lost.’
That was actually a lie, since he knew that Kevin wouldn’t leave his side no matter what. But feeling his warm, soft touch ran a pleasant shiver down his spine and he didn’t feel like losing that sort of fondle. In response, Kevin entwined his fingers with Eli’s, nodding approvingly.
The cab ride lasted for approximately twenty minutes, during which time Kevin kept cuddling into Eli as if his life depended on it. He didn’t know how to react at first, but eventually he placed an arm around his shoulders, allowing him to sink even more into the soft hoodie Eli was wearing, which made Kevin squeal with happiness. The driver looked at them through the rear-view mirror, smirking fondly and understandingly. They probably looked like a couple going on a date.
After arriving in front of the park and paying for the ride, they got out of the car and stopped for a short moment to inhale deeply - the sweet smell of bubblegum and cotton candy and the alluring one of barbecue made their noses fret with delight, persuading them into hurrying towards the numerous food stands. But the terrific smells and multitude of colors paled in comparison to the impressive number of people - they were surrounding the two from all sides, ranging in age from toddlers to elders. There was barely any space left to move around, something which Eli didn’t expect.
‘Should we eat something first, to gain some energy?’ he asked Kevin, turning to look at him. However, he didn’t get any reply.
Kevin became suddenly pale, looking around frantically, rubbing his fingers together in such an agitated manner that he was about to break them. His pupils dilated, making his usually light brown eyes look almost black, and he was breathing unevenly. Eli immediately placed a hand on his forehead, to check his temperature, while grabbing with the other hand his hectic fingers.
‘Kevin? What’s wrong? What happened?’ he asked concerned. He didn’t have a fever; on the contrary, his forehead was sweaty and cold.
‘Do you want a hot chocolate to get warm? Are you feeling sick? For the love of God, say something.’
Kevin then looked at him as if he had only then realized Eli was right beside him. He took a deep breath to calm himself down, then spoke:
‘I’m fine, I just had a moment. It’s okay, don’t worry.’
‘But what happened?’
‘Well, it’s a bit crowded… but I’ll be fine. Let’s… let’s go and… find something to do.’ he stuttered.
Eli noticed he kept gazing back and forth from the people surrounding them to the ground, like he was trying to establish a connection that in reality didn’t exist. He was trying to keep focused, but when he started trembling Eli understood things were getting out of control.
‘I… too many, I… can’t…. don’t want to…’ Kevin now looked like he was starting to undergo a seizure. He grabbed his hair and started pulling really hard.
‘Go away… go… leave me alone.’ he was shaking so badly, Eli panicked. He then understood what was wrong with him.
‘Let’s get out of here.’ he said, gently embracing Kevin and guiding him towards the exit. ‘We’ll find a quiet place.’
They found themselves in some sort of garden five minutes later, quite far from the busy park. It hosted several long pathways, supplied with benches on each side, while tall, hefty trees were sheltering them from the sun. Everything was bathed in a dim, butter-colored light, which gave the place a one-of-a-kind atmosphere. They sat on one of the benches, after which Eli positioned Kevin so that he could hold him like an infant, slowly rocking him until he almost recovered.
‘It’s okay.’ Eli whispered. ‘We’re alone now.’
Kevin kept hiding his face, burying it in the older’s clothes. He wouldn’t let go of Eli’s hoodie - it was like releasing it would result in dreadful consequences. Even if the accelerated cardiac rhythm had slowed down, he was still slightly shaking.
‘Look around.’ he encouraged Kevin. ‘There’s nobody.’
After a few more minutes, he had finally mustered up the courage to raise his head. The place was indeed completely deserted, although it didn’t hold the negative connotation of the word.
‘I’m sorry.’ Eli said in the end. ‘I should’ve read your medical file. I was planning to, but then all of this came to my mind, and I couldn’t think of anything else but how to bring you here. I should’ve figured out you were there for a reason. I’m so sorry.’
Kevin kept silent for a brief moment, before responding.
‘Do you know why I have antropophobia?’
‘No.’
‘I was seven. It was during the winter holiday, after I had just begun first grade. All of my friends had left in vacation with their families, so I was left alone. I went outside to play in the snow. I started making a snowman, therefore I didn’t realize time passed so quickly. Soon it got dark, but I wanted to finish it, so I figured I could stay twenty more minutes. And then two men came.’
His voice started shaking, but he didn’t stop.
‘They asked about my name and my age. Being the naïve and innocent kid that I was, I told them. They promised me sweets and money, if I went with them in return in their car. And so I hopped in without thinking for a second what was about to happen.’
His eyes started tearing.
‘Kevin, it’s okay, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.’ Eli said with a small voice.
‘We drove for about half an hour.’ he continued. ‘I’m not sure where they took me, but it looked like an old, abandoned factory somewhere on the outskirts of the city. They blindfolded me, grabbed my arms and legs and took me inside. I started hearing more voices once I got in, but I obviously couldn’t see their faces.’
His lower lip began trembling, while his glassy eyes fixed themselves in the distance.
‘And then they raped me. One by one, they raped me. It was the most excruciating pain I have ever felt. It was like my insides were being torn apart. I started bleeding and vomiting, but they didn’t care. They kept on laughing and doing their job. I thought I was never going to get out of there alive. I thought it was never going to end. Seconds seemed like hours, hours seemed like days. And after what appeared to be an eternity, I heard police sirens. It was probably the most blessed sound in the world. They immediately started scattering away, grabbing whatever they could and leaving me behind, on the floor, naked. I remember two police officers came inside, holding a flashlight. I could spot its rays through the material of my blindfold. One of them told his partner that I was probably already dead, because I wasn’t moving. I tried to give them a signal, but I just couldn’t motion any of my muscles, I felt so powerless. Then the piece of cloth was removed from my eyes and I was instantly blinded by the wieldy glow. Afterward everything went dark. I passed out. I found myself two days later on a hospital bed. And that’s when I stopped trusting people.’
Listening to his story, Eli didn’t realize he had started crying. Kevin’s tears had already dried out, but now he was simply staring at nothing, leaning comfortably into the older’s chest, while being held even closer. Eli wiped his eyes and cheeks and lifted Kevin’s chin with his fingers. He then kissed his forehead, which earned him a smile.
‘I didn’t know. This is all my fault, I should’ve thought twice before attempting something like that.’
Kevin placed his index finger on his lips, making him stop talking.
‘It isn’t anybody’s fault. I wanted to go, you wanted me to have a good time. Besides, I sort of knew it was going to be crowded beforehand, yet I still accepted. And you know why?’
‘Why?’
‘Because I was going to be with you.’
That left Eli more than a little surprised, but above all, it made him happy. He still regretted exposing Kevin like that, but at the same time he knew it had been worth it. It made no sense in his head, but who cared. It felt right.
‘But you’re being surrounded by people at the hospital, too. The other patients, the nurses, the doctors. Yet you’re okay.’
‘It’s different with them, I guess.’ Kevin thought. ‘Given the fact that mentally they’re not truly there, most of the time, makes it irrelevant to my condition. And the nurses only approach me when needed - during lunch, bedtime and so on.’
‘Shouldn’t you be subjected to psychiatric meetings, instead of being locked in an asylum? I remember studying about phobias in college, and we were told that they’re usually treated using psychological methods.’
‘That’s what my parents first went for. I visited countless shrinks, but nothing worked. In school I couldn’t really bond with anybody, since I was too scared to talk to them. My teachers would let me stay alone during classes, because I hated when I was accidentally touched by someone. After a few years, a doctor suggested our hospital. And well, here I am.’
The wind started blowing faster, enclosing them from all directions.
‘Do you want to go back? It’s getting cold.’ Eli asked, hugging him tighter.
‘No, it’s too early. We could just stay here, I don’t mind. Or find some other place.’
‘I do have a place in mind, actually.’ Eli said, seeming unsure. ‘But I don’t know if you’ll like it. I was thinking we could go to my place. We can take another cab, it won’t take long.’
‘But you said we’ll have to walk back.’
‘Do you really feel like walking?’ Eli smiled.
‘Point taken. Well, then…’
Kevin stood up all of a sudden, taking him by surprise.
‘I can’t wait to see your home.’ he grinned, stretching him arm and motioning for Eli to take it into his own.
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Note: Antropophobia is described as fear of people or society.