Map of your head (chapter 8)
Title: Map of your head
Fandom: U-KISS
Characters & Pairings: Elvin, Xander, OFC, other possible episodic characters.
Rating: PG-13 (nc-17 in this chapter, for language)
Genre: Romance, Fluff, Humor, Drama
Summary: "Because the language confuses, like computers refuse to understand how I'm feeling today."
Eli is new to this world. Kevin makes him feel like home.
Disclaimer: The title belongs to English rock-band Muse, as well as the lyrics, extracted from their 2002 album entitled ”Hullabaloo”. I am in no way, shape or form affiliated with the named group, or any characters presented in this writing. No copyright infringement intended.
Read: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7
Month two. Day one.
Who would have ever thought that kissing Kevin would actually feel this good? It felt more than pleasant, more than ordinary, more than Eli had ever experienced before. He was pretty sure that if he were to take the most intense sensation of adrenaline known to man and multiply it by a thousand, he still wouldn’t feel the vibes he does when he is kissing Kevin. He then wondered if all boys kiss like that, if kissing a male truly was better than repeating the same process with a female. Which would have worried him in the past, but for some reason, it didn’t now.
And saying that Kevin was a good kisser was an understatement. He kept a unique, passionate and slightly possessive touch to him whenever he would play around with Eli, which stimulated the named one to feel aroused most of the time. He never imagined what having an intimate relationship with Kevin would feel like, because the younger seemed too innocent for this sort of stuff, but there were moments in which he would unleash all of his affection into an outburst of kisses, hugs, touching, climbing onto him, twirling his hair between his fingers, caressing his body, biting his neck and many other slightly-erotic actions Eli didn’t know he enjoyed. But of course, who would refuse such fervid invitations, when Kevin allures him to his room in the middle of his shift, while everyone else is asleep. And who would be so lucky to say that they have seen Kevin’s less tamed side. And who, in the world, would refuse engaging into one of his seductive and lightly dominating love games that he savored so much.
Not Eli.
And then, as perfect as his little piece of heaven seems to be, everything starts to slowly go downhill when he thinks of the past Kevin, the boy that used to love a certain Kiseop before meeting him.
He can’t help but feel a little worried when he realizes that he remembered they guy’s name. Since Eli never proved himself to be a pro at memorizing names, not even the shortest and most simple ones, a mixed feeling of angst and spite heaps him, as if the stranger is still in Kevin’s life even nowadays, threatening to take him away every minute. Maybe he is, but he simply doesn’t know it. Maybe Kevin does indeed still think of him, secretly, at night, when Eli’s not around. He doesn’t dare to ask, even if the burning desire of wanting to know more about his lover’s past is imprisoned inside him.
He also doesn’t dare to ask about Kevin’s sexual experience, although he is even more intrigued by it that any other aspect of his life. He doesn’t have the assurance that the Kiseop guy wasn’t better than him, he doesn’t have the certainty that the dude could have lacked what Eli doesn’t, which makes him crumble inside. It makes him compile all these stupid, pointless, frustrating scenarios on his head, that maybe, just maybe, Kevin went all the way with him. Sure, it may seem rather improbable, considering the dreadful experience he had gone through, but he still doesn’t have any proof.
‘Eli. Wakie.’
Eli simply stares into the distance, deep in thought.
‘No, I mean it, wake up. You’re freaking me out.’ Kevin snaps his fingers in front of his eyes, which makes him bounce slightly on the bench.
‘Sorry.’ He looks at Kevin apologetically. ‘I was just thinking.’
They’re sitting on one of the benches hosted by the asylum’s garden, right behind the building, under a bosky tree. The sun’s rays are limited by a swarm of clouds today, which Kevin found fascinating, thus he insisted on going outside to examine their shapes. Eli complained that they could also do that inside, until the younger quickly reminded him that it was a lame excuse for wanting to actually sit at a desk, sorting files.
‘Thinking about what?’ he finally asked.
‘Just stuff. You know, this and that.’
‘This and that.’ Kevin nodded. ‘That’s nice.’
Eli started laughing.
‘Don’t be like this. I was thinking about this whole situation. My job, this hospital, you. How my Mom always wanted me to become a doctor and marry some rich, high-class, aristocratic wench. And have like, an army of children or some crap like that. If only she knew.’
‘Do you regret not fulfilling her wish?’ Kevin looked him in the eyes.
‘No. Never.’ Eli looked up at the sky, finding a whale-shaped cloud, accompanied by a donkey that seemed to be running after it. ‘Because that’s her dream, not mine. We never shared the same goals, desires, opinions. We rarely agreed on anything and fought most of the time. If I think about it, the love for medicine was the only thing that kept us together, which is sort of disappointing. My Dad was cool, though. He supported me far and wide, and never stopped to question my actions, or try to control them.’
‘When was the last time you saw them?’
‘A little over a year.’
‘Do you miss them?’
‘Dad, yes. Mom, not really. I guess that we have is not precisely love, more like a silent, mutual agreement. As in, as long as we don’t piss each other off, we’re good to go.’
‘I’m sorry.’ Kevin mumbled, shifting closer to him. ‘But hey, there’s a donkey.’ He pointed towards the sky.
Eli laughed, then kissed his nose. ‘I know. And a whale.’
‘It looks like a meteor to me.’
‘Why would a donkey chase a meteor?’
‘He’s not chasing, he’s running away from it. And who said donkeys chase whales in the first place?’
Before Eli could start his counterargument, they heard somebody approaching and immediately enlarged the distance between them. Soon after, one of the nurses came from around the corner.
‘Kevin, you have visitors.’ She called out.
‘Visitors?’ Kevin turned around to look at her, then back at Eli, then back at her. ‘Are you sure they’re for me, Na Young?’
‘I am’, the young woman replied. ‘They’re your parents.’
Both Kevin and Eli’s faces went blank. They looked at each other without saying a word for a couple of seconds, until Kevin turned once more towards the nurse and asked her to tell them he’ll be right there. After her departure, he settled himself in Eli’s arms, his countenance indescribable.
‘What are they even doing here…’ he mumbled looking at the ground, more to himself than to Eli. ‘I haven’t seen them in God knows how long. And they didn’t even announce and… what…’
He didn’t seem frightened by the thought, nor nervous. Just puzzled. Eli stroke his hair gently, waiting a couple more minutes to see if he had anything else to add.
‘Maybe we should go.’ He said after noticing that Kevin wasn’t planning on moving. ‘They’re waiting for you. Maybe they just wanted to surprise you, or to bring you important news, so let’s not make them wait. Do you want me to come along?’
‘Yes. I want you to meet them.’
They walked in silence until they reached the second floor. Right after coming out of the elevator -again, accompanied by the squeaky and horrible metallic noise- they were greeted by Alexander, who started blaming them for their lateness, throwing his hands in the air.
‘Eli, come with me.’ He said gravely, pointing towards his office. ‘Kevin, you go talk to your parents. They’re in your room.’
‘But I want him to come with me.’ Kevin protested. ‘We agreed that he should meet them.’
‘I think it’s better for you to talk to them alone, first. You haven’t seen them in such a long time, I’m sure you guys have a lot of catching up to do. They can meet him later.’
Kevin turned towards Eli, looking for support, but felt disappointed when Eli agreed with Alexander.
‘I think he’s right.’ He said. ‘But don’t worry. I’ll have plenty of time to meet time. Besides, I’m sure they’re not just going to leave right away.’
‘Alright.’ Kevin sighed, heading towards the end of the hallway, while Eli and Alexander started walking in the opposite direction.
‘This is not good.’ He said after both of they entered the room, firmly closing the door behind him.
‘Why is that?’ Eli asked, taken aback by the sudden alteration in his voice. He took a seat, while Alexander started pacing back and forth towards and from the window.
‘They arrived so unexpectedly, they never do stuff like that. I’ve been on good terms with Kevin’s parents for years and it’s just not like them to suddenly show up without announcing.’ He said, looking at the floor the entire time, with his hands on his hips.
‘Maybe they just wanted to surprise him?’ Eli tried, abashed as to why the other seemed so out of place.
‘Nah, it’s not that. They had this serious expression on their faces and said that it’s an urgent matter. When I asked them what happened, his father simply said he wanted to see his son as quick as possible. Something is just wrong. Plain wrong.’
Eli never saw his employer in such an agitated state before, which told him that something was indeed amiss. His eyes were moving fast and he was incapable of keeping his gaze on just one area for more than a flash of a second. He had seen him serious, worried, maybe even a little upset, but never so flustered.
‘Listen, take a seat and calm down. What’s the point of worrying about something you don’t even know for sure? Let’s wait for them to finish talking and then we’ll see what’s the matter.’
‘I know, I know. But because of all the things I had to deal with in the past, thanks to them, I can’t help and still feel unsettled.’
‘Things? What things?’ Eli asked.
Alexander sat next to him and took a sip of water, before replying.
‘They are complicated people, generally speaking. In fact, I don’t even know how come Kevin turned this way, considering their completely different personalities. They don’t match in anything. And it’s simply their way of viewing and judging things that sometimes made Kevin’s staying here a living hell. They would occasionally bring so-called specialists to consult him, even if we have staff perfectly capable of taking care of our patients. And they intruded in many of his life’s aspects, even intimate stuff. I guess they always thought that because Kevin is the way he is, he possesses some sort of mental retardation or something, which frankly, excuse my language, is complete bullshit. And, well, in the end, those actions just drew them further apart from their son.’
Alexander kept on talking for minutes after that, constraining Eli to be more and more shocked as he progressed with his story. He made Eli’s mother sound like an angel.
After the older finished speaking, there was a slight pause from both of them. Eli looked up at him.
‘Why are you telling me all of this, though?’ he asked.
Alexander didn’t really expect that question, but smiled after thinking a bit.
‘I guess I can just trust you, because I see how Kevin trusts you. And I’m actually surprised how close the two of you became, in a relatively short period of time, I might add. You see, Kevin doesn’t let people in his life easily, so you should consider yourself lucky. He is kind with everyone, yes, but that’s pretty much as far as it always goes. However, for some reason, he liked you from the first day he set eyes on you. Don’t ask me why, ‘cause I don’t have the slightest idea, but I confide in his people abilities. And I know that he is never wrong when it comes to picking a friend.’
Eli was about to reply, when he was interrupted by a knock on the door. Kevin entered immediately after, without waiting for permission.
Eli’s and Alexander’s faces dropped when they saw him. He had been crying a river, apparently, because his eyes were so red he looked as if someone had applied make-up to prep him for a circus show. His nose was also running, and they couldn’t help but notice the trails of slime and tears on the hem of his shirt. He made short, frequent sniffs and didn’t say anything for a while.
‘What the hell happened?’ Eli finally asked, getting up and grabbing him by the shoulders.
Kevin mumbled something incoherent, looking down, with his eyes closed.
‘What was that?’ Alexander asked, coming closer.
‘I said they want to take me away.’ He said, louder this time.
Silence. Longest silence possible. Silence that seemed to be screaming with rage, acrimony, trepidation, revulsion, all of these mixed in a hysteria of unspoken words.
‘What do you mean ‘take you away’, what in the actual…’ Eli finally spoke after long minutes.
‘They said they found good job offers in the States and they want to move there permanently.’ He was hiccupping. ‘Apparently they’re not planning on coming back to Korea, so they want to take me with them.’ His voice was shaky.
‘But… that’s just…’ Alexander said, looking at both him and Eli with complete shock, while Kevin couldn’t stop his tears from falling. ‘That’s the biggest crap I’ve heard.’ He said in the end, not knowing what else to add.
‘What did you say?’ Eli asked, anxious to hear his answer.
‘I tried convincing them that I’m happy here and that I don’t want to leave. I tried being as calm and nice as possible, but then everything just blurred out into blankness, and next thing I knew, we were screaming at each other.’
‘You had a fight?’
‘Yeah. I became so mad I couldn’t control myself and I started telling them how insensitive and uncaring they were all these years, how I always felt pushed around like a puppet in their strings, how they never asked about my opinions, but expected me to obey their stupid rules each time without muttering a word, how they almost never visit and how they care about their business more than me.’
He took another sniff, then breathed in again.
‘And then Mom started yelling at me. That all of this is for my own good, than even if they did all these things it was for the sake of my health and that I shouldn’t even be complaining, because without them I would be on the streets right now, how I have no right to bicker, since they took care of me all this time as best as they could, how they couldn’t just randomly leave their jobs, because my hospitalization and medication required a lot of money, and this is the only way they could afford it.’
Another short sniff, followed by a deep sigh.
‘And some other stuff I can’t even remember. And Dad just stood there without interfering during this whole time. In the end, he just said that’s final and there’s no point in arguing, because we’re leaving either way.’
‘Fucking shit…’ Eli mumbled to himself. ‘Fucking shit!’ he then screamed.
Normally, in a situation like this, Alexander would tell him to mind his language, probably by pointing a finger at him, but now he was just leaning against the wall, with his arms behind his back and his legs crossed, looking at the floor. One could tell he was trying to find a solution, but what could someone possibly do with such a standpoint?
‘We have to find a way. We have to think of something. Where are your parents now? We’ll talk to them. We’ll convince them.’ Eli said, trying to mentally reassure himself that everything was going to be fine. The thought of losing Kevin was the equivalent of a train hitting him with full force.
‘It’s useless, they already left.’ Kevin said. ‘They’re going back to the States for a few days to prepare my arrival. They said they wanted me to stay with them from now on. Dad already found a house, apparently.’
The misery in his voice was unceasingly painful to both Eli and Alexander.
‘I don’t get it.’ the older said, still looking at the floor and running his hands through his hair. ‘Why the hell are they acting like they have no apprehension of your condition? It’s like they don’t know you’re most safe here.’
‘They said I am going to have regular check ups with some doctor whose name I don’t even recall. He is going to come to our house two times a week. I think he’s a therapist, or psychiatrist, or something. I guess they think I’ll be just fine with that.’
‘They lost it.’ Eli said incredulously, after hearing his statement. ‘They lost it completely. We have to talk to them. They need to understand they’re wrong.’
‘They won’t care!’ Kevin cried out loud. ‘They never do.’
He started shaking again abominably and hid his face in his hands. All Eli wanted to do right now is hug him until they lost track of time and kiss him like they never kissed before. But with Alexander there, watching both of them hopeless, breathing at irregular intervals and rubbing his fingers together so fast he was on the verge of producing sparks, there wasn’t much Eli could do.
‘There has to be something.’ Alexander said after a couple of minutes. ‘There has to be some sort of regulation or decree that stands against them. I’m going to the archives. I’ll take paper by paper and read everything from a to z. I remember studying about cases like this a couple of years ago. Eli, are you coming? There are many files we have to go through.’
‘Right away. You go ahead. I’ll be down in a minute.’
The older left without saying anything else and closed the door behind him. Right after, Kevin looked into his eyes properly, for the first time since he got into the room. They were so full of tears, Eli couldn’t even see the color of his iris clearly. He immediately took him into his arms, letting the younger burry his face into his clothes, while grabbing tightly. He stopped trembling, but he was still sobbing without control. Eli kissed him on his hair and caressed his back, in an effort to calm him down.
‘There, there…’ he whispered. ‘We’re going to find a way, I promise. I’m not going to let this happen. I just won you, I’m not going to let go that easy.’
Kevin looked up at him and reached for a short kiss.
‘What if you guys can’t find anything?’ he then asked. ‘What if I’m leaving indeed?’
‘You won’t. I swear you won’t. Even if legally they might be allowed to take you, I’m not giving you up. We’ll find a way. Trust me.’
‘I do.’
Eli knew the fear Kevin was feeling, although he doubted it was smaller than his own. Because he was not only on the verge of losing both Eli and Alexander, but there was also a high chance of being abandoned again, just like it happened years ago.
And he wasn’t even sure he should be making such promises to him, since he had no guarantee he was going to succeed.
Fandom: U-KISS
Characters & Pairings: Elvin, Xander, OFC, other possible episodic characters.
Rating: PG-13 (nc-17 in this chapter, for language)
Genre: Romance, Fluff, Humor, Drama
Summary: "Because the language confuses, like computers refuse to understand how I'm feeling today."
Eli is new to this world. Kevin makes him feel like home.
Disclaimer: The title belongs to English rock-band Muse, as well as the lyrics, extracted from their 2002 album entitled ”Hullabaloo”. I am in no way, shape or form affiliated with the named group, or any characters presented in this writing. No copyright infringement intended.
Read: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7
Month two. Day one.
Who would have ever thought that kissing Kevin would actually feel this good? It felt more than pleasant, more than ordinary, more than Eli had ever experienced before. He was pretty sure that if he were to take the most intense sensation of adrenaline known to man and multiply it by a thousand, he still wouldn’t feel the vibes he does when he is kissing Kevin. He then wondered if all boys kiss like that, if kissing a male truly was better than repeating the same process with a female. Which would have worried him in the past, but for some reason, it didn’t now.
And saying that Kevin was a good kisser was an understatement. He kept a unique, passionate and slightly possessive touch to him whenever he would play around with Eli, which stimulated the named one to feel aroused most of the time. He never imagined what having an intimate relationship with Kevin would feel like, because the younger seemed too innocent for this sort of stuff, but there were moments in which he would unleash all of his affection into an outburst of kisses, hugs, touching, climbing onto him, twirling his hair between his fingers, caressing his body, biting his neck and many other slightly-erotic actions Eli didn’t know he enjoyed. But of course, who would refuse such fervid invitations, when Kevin allures him to his room in the middle of his shift, while everyone else is asleep. And who would be so lucky to say that they have seen Kevin’s less tamed side. And who, in the world, would refuse engaging into one of his seductive and lightly dominating love games that he savored so much.
Not Eli.
And then, as perfect as his little piece of heaven seems to be, everything starts to slowly go downhill when he thinks of the past Kevin, the boy that used to love a certain Kiseop before meeting him.
He can’t help but feel a little worried when he realizes that he remembered they guy’s name. Since Eli never proved himself to be a pro at memorizing names, not even the shortest and most simple ones, a mixed feeling of angst and spite heaps him, as if the stranger is still in Kevin’s life even nowadays, threatening to take him away every minute. Maybe he is, but he simply doesn’t know it. Maybe Kevin does indeed still think of him, secretly, at night, when Eli’s not around. He doesn’t dare to ask, even if the burning desire of wanting to know more about his lover’s past is imprisoned inside him.
He also doesn’t dare to ask about Kevin’s sexual experience, although he is even more intrigued by it that any other aspect of his life. He doesn’t have the assurance that the Kiseop guy wasn’t better than him, he doesn’t have the certainty that the dude could have lacked what Eli doesn’t, which makes him crumble inside. It makes him compile all these stupid, pointless, frustrating scenarios on his head, that maybe, just maybe, Kevin went all the way with him. Sure, it may seem rather improbable, considering the dreadful experience he had gone through, but he still doesn’t have any proof.
‘Eli. Wakie.’
Eli simply stares into the distance, deep in thought.
‘No, I mean it, wake up. You’re freaking me out.’ Kevin snaps his fingers in front of his eyes, which makes him bounce slightly on the bench.
‘Sorry.’ He looks at Kevin apologetically. ‘I was just thinking.’
They’re sitting on one of the benches hosted by the asylum’s garden, right behind the building, under a bosky tree. The sun’s rays are limited by a swarm of clouds today, which Kevin found fascinating, thus he insisted on going outside to examine their shapes. Eli complained that they could also do that inside, until the younger quickly reminded him that it was a lame excuse for wanting to actually sit at a desk, sorting files.
‘Thinking about what?’ he finally asked.
‘Just stuff. You know, this and that.’
‘This and that.’ Kevin nodded. ‘That’s nice.’
Eli started laughing.
‘Don’t be like this. I was thinking about this whole situation. My job, this hospital, you. How my Mom always wanted me to become a doctor and marry some rich, high-class, aristocratic wench. And have like, an army of children or some crap like that. If only she knew.’
‘Do you regret not fulfilling her wish?’ Kevin looked him in the eyes.
‘No. Never.’ Eli looked up at the sky, finding a whale-shaped cloud, accompanied by a donkey that seemed to be running after it. ‘Because that’s her dream, not mine. We never shared the same goals, desires, opinions. We rarely agreed on anything and fought most of the time. If I think about it, the love for medicine was the only thing that kept us together, which is sort of disappointing. My Dad was cool, though. He supported me far and wide, and never stopped to question my actions, or try to control them.’
‘When was the last time you saw them?’
‘A little over a year.’
‘Do you miss them?’
‘Dad, yes. Mom, not really. I guess that we have is not precisely love, more like a silent, mutual agreement. As in, as long as we don’t piss each other off, we’re good to go.’
‘I’m sorry.’ Kevin mumbled, shifting closer to him. ‘But hey, there’s a donkey.’ He pointed towards the sky.
Eli laughed, then kissed his nose. ‘I know. And a whale.’
‘It looks like a meteor to me.’
‘Why would a donkey chase a meteor?’
‘He’s not chasing, he’s running away from it. And who said donkeys chase whales in the first place?’
Before Eli could start his counterargument, they heard somebody approaching and immediately enlarged the distance between them. Soon after, one of the nurses came from around the corner.
‘Kevin, you have visitors.’ She called out.
‘Visitors?’ Kevin turned around to look at her, then back at Eli, then back at her. ‘Are you sure they’re for me, Na Young?’
‘I am’, the young woman replied. ‘They’re your parents.’
Both Kevin and Eli’s faces went blank. They looked at each other without saying a word for a couple of seconds, until Kevin turned once more towards the nurse and asked her to tell them he’ll be right there. After her departure, he settled himself in Eli’s arms, his countenance indescribable.
‘What are they even doing here…’ he mumbled looking at the ground, more to himself than to Eli. ‘I haven’t seen them in God knows how long. And they didn’t even announce and… what…’
He didn’t seem frightened by the thought, nor nervous. Just puzzled. Eli stroke his hair gently, waiting a couple more minutes to see if he had anything else to add.
‘Maybe we should go.’ He said after noticing that Kevin wasn’t planning on moving. ‘They’re waiting for you. Maybe they just wanted to surprise you, or to bring you important news, so let’s not make them wait. Do you want me to come along?’
‘Yes. I want you to meet them.’
They walked in silence until they reached the second floor. Right after coming out of the elevator -again, accompanied by the squeaky and horrible metallic noise- they were greeted by Alexander, who started blaming them for their lateness, throwing his hands in the air.
‘Eli, come with me.’ He said gravely, pointing towards his office. ‘Kevin, you go talk to your parents. They’re in your room.’
‘But I want him to come with me.’ Kevin protested. ‘We agreed that he should meet them.’
‘I think it’s better for you to talk to them alone, first. You haven’t seen them in such a long time, I’m sure you guys have a lot of catching up to do. They can meet him later.’
Kevin turned towards Eli, looking for support, but felt disappointed when Eli agreed with Alexander.
‘I think he’s right.’ He said. ‘But don’t worry. I’ll have plenty of time to meet time. Besides, I’m sure they’re not just going to leave right away.’
‘Alright.’ Kevin sighed, heading towards the end of the hallway, while Eli and Alexander started walking in the opposite direction.
‘This is not good.’ He said after both of they entered the room, firmly closing the door behind him.
‘Why is that?’ Eli asked, taken aback by the sudden alteration in his voice. He took a seat, while Alexander started pacing back and forth towards and from the window.
‘They arrived so unexpectedly, they never do stuff like that. I’ve been on good terms with Kevin’s parents for years and it’s just not like them to suddenly show up without announcing.’ He said, looking at the floor the entire time, with his hands on his hips.
‘Maybe they just wanted to surprise him?’ Eli tried, abashed as to why the other seemed so out of place.
‘Nah, it’s not that. They had this serious expression on their faces and said that it’s an urgent matter. When I asked them what happened, his father simply said he wanted to see his son as quick as possible. Something is just wrong. Plain wrong.’
Eli never saw his employer in such an agitated state before, which told him that something was indeed amiss. His eyes were moving fast and he was incapable of keeping his gaze on just one area for more than a flash of a second. He had seen him serious, worried, maybe even a little upset, but never so flustered.
‘Listen, take a seat and calm down. What’s the point of worrying about something you don’t even know for sure? Let’s wait for them to finish talking and then we’ll see what’s the matter.’
‘I know, I know. But because of all the things I had to deal with in the past, thanks to them, I can’t help and still feel unsettled.’
‘Things? What things?’ Eli asked.
Alexander sat next to him and took a sip of water, before replying.
‘They are complicated people, generally speaking. In fact, I don’t even know how come Kevin turned this way, considering their completely different personalities. They don’t match in anything. And it’s simply their way of viewing and judging things that sometimes made Kevin’s staying here a living hell. They would occasionally bring so-called specialists to consult him, even if we have staff perfectly capable of taking care of our patients. And they intruded in many of his life’s aspects, even intimate stuff. I guess they always thought that because Kevin is the way he is, he possesses some sort of mental retardation or something, which frankly, excuse my language, is complete bullshit. And, well, in the end, those actions just drew them further apart from their son.’
Alexander kept on talking for minutes after that, constraining Eli to be more and more shocked as he progressed with his story. He made Eli’s mother sound like an angel.
After the older finished speaking, there was a slight pause from both of them. Eli looked up at him.
‘Why are you telling me all of this, though?’ he asked.
Alexander didn’t really expect that question, but smiled after thinking a bit.
‘I guess I can just trust you, because I see how Kevin trusts you. And I’m actually surprised how close the two of you became, in a relatively short period of time, I might add. You see, Kevin doesn’t let people in his life easily, so you should consider yourself lucky. He is kind with everyone, yes, but that’s pretty much as far as it always goes. However, for some reason, he liked you from the first day he set eyes on you. Don’t ask me why, ‘cause I don’t have the slightest idea, but I confide in his people abilities. And I know that he is never wrong when it comes to picking a friend.’
Eli was about to reply, when he was interrupted by a knock on the door. Kevin entered immediately after, without waiting for permission.
Eli’s and Alexander’s faces dropped when they saw him. He had been crying a river, apparently, because his eyes were so red he looked as if someone had applied make-up to prep him for a circus show. His nose was also running, and they couldn’t help but notice the trails of slime and tears on the hem of his shirt. He made short, frequent sniffs and didn’t say anything for a while.
‘What the hell happened?’ Eli finally asked, getting up and grabbing him by the shoulders.
Kevin mumbled something incoherent, looking down, with his eyes closed.
‘What was that?’ Alexander asked, coming closer.
‘I said they want to take me away.’ He said, louder this time.
Silence. Longest silence possible. Silence that seemed to be screaming with rage, acrimony, trepidation, revulsion, all of these mixed in a hysteria of unspoken words.
‘What do you mean ‘take you away’, what in the actual…’ Eli finally spoke after long minutes.
‘They said they found good job offers in the States and they want to move there permanently.’ He was hiccupping. ‘Apparently they’re not planning on coming back to Korea, so they want to take me with them.’ His voice was shaky.
‘But… that’s just…’ Alexander said, looking at both him and Eli with complete shock, while Kevin couldn’t stop his tears from falling. ‘That’s the biggest crap I’ve heard.’ He said in the end, not knowing what else to add.
‘What did you say?’ Eli asked, anxious to hear his answer.
‘I tried convincing them that I’m happy here and that I don’t want to leave. I tried being as calm and nice as possible, but then everything just blurred out into blankness, and next thing I knew, we were screaming at each other.’
‘You had a fight?’
‘Yeah. I became so mad I couldn’t control myself and I started telling them how insensitive and uncaring they were all these years, how I always felt pushed around like a puppet in their strings, how they never asked about my opinions, but expected me to obey their stupid rules each time without muttering a word, how they almost never visit and how they care about their business more than me.’
He took another sniff, then breathed in again.
‘And then Mom started yelling at me. That all of this is for my own good, than even if they did all these things it was for the sake of my health and that I shouldn’t even be complaining, because without them I would be on the streets right now, how I have no right to bicker, since they took care of me all this time as best as they could, how they couldn’t just randomly leave their jobs, because my hospitalization and medication required a lot of money, and this is the only way they could afford it.’
Another short sniff, followed by a deep sigh.
‘And some other stuff I can’t even remember. And Dad just stood there without interfering during this whole time. In the end, he just said that’s final and there’s no point in arguing, because we’re leaving either way.’
‘Fucking shit…’ Eli mumbled to himself. ‘Fucking shit!’ he then screamed.
Normally, in a situation like this, Alexander would tell him to mind his language, probably by pointing a finger at him, but now he was just leaning against the wall, with his arms behind his back and his legs crossed, looking at the floor. One could tell he was trying to find a solution, but what could someone possibly do with such a standpoint?
‘We have to find a way. We have to think of something. Where are your parents now? We’ll talk to them. We’ll convince them.’ Eli said, trying to mentally reassure himself that everything was going to be fine. The thought of losing Kevin was the equivalent of a train hitting him with full force.
‘It’s useless, they already left.’ Kevin said. ‘They’re going back to the States for a few days to prepare my arrival. They said they wanted me to stay with them from now on. Dad already found a house, apparently.’
The misery in his voice was unceasingly painful to both Eli and Alexander.
‘I don’t get it.’ the older said, still looking at the floor and running his hands through his hair. ‘Why the hell are they acting like they have no apprehension of your condition? It’s like they don’t know you’re most safe here.’
‘They said I am going to have regular check ups with some doctor whose name I don’t even recall. He is going to come to our house two times a week. I think he’s a therapist, or psychiatrist, or something. I guess they think I’ll be just fine with that.’
‘They lost it.’ Eli said incredulously, after hearing his statement. ‘They lost it completely. We have to talk to them. They need to understand they’re wrong.’
‘They won’t care!’ Kevin cried out loud. ‘They never do.’
He started shaking again abominably and hid his face in his hands. All Eli wanted to do right now is hug him until they lost track of time and kiss him like they never kissed before. But with Alexander there, watching both of them hopeless, breathing at irregular intervals and rubbing his fingers together so fast he was on the verge of producing sparks, there wasn’t much Eli could do.
‘There has to be something.’ Alexander said after a couple of minutes. ‘There has to be some sort of regulation or decree that stands against them. I’m going to the archives. I’ll take paper by paper and read everything from a to z. I remember studying about cases like this a couple of years ago. Eli, are you coming? There are many files we have to go through.’
‘Right away. You go ahead. I’ll be down in a minute.’
The older left without saying anything else and closed the door behind him. Right after, Kevin looked into his eyes properly, for the first time since he got into the room. They were so full of tears, Eli couldn’t even see the color of his iris clearly. He immediately took him into his arms, letting the younger burry his face into his clothes, while grabbing tightly. He stopped trembling, but he was still sobbing without control. Eli kissed him on his hair and caressed his back, in an effort to calm him down.
‘There, there…’ he whispered. ‘We’re going to find a way, I promise. I’m not going to let this happen. I just won you, I’m not going to let go that easy.’
Kevin looked up at him and reached for a short kiss.
‘What if you guys can’t find anything?’ he then asked. ‘What if I’m leaving indeed?’
‘You won’t. I swear you won’t. Even if legally they might be allowed to take you, I’m not giving you up. We’ll find a way. Trust me.’
‘I do.’
Eli knew the fear Kevin was feeling, although he doubted it was smaller than his own. Because he was not only on the verge of losing both Eli and Alexander, but there was also a high chance of being abandoned again, just like it happened years ago.
And he wasn’t even sure he should be making such promises to him, since he had no guarantee he was going to succeed.