Title: Map of your head
Fandom: U-KISS
Characters & Pairings: Elvin, Xander, OFC, other possible episodic characters
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance, Fluff, Humor, Drama
Summary: "Because the language confuses, like computers refuse to understand how I'm feeling today."
Eli is new to this world. Kevin makes him feel like home.
Disclaimer: The title belongs to English rock-band Muse, as well as the lyrics, extracted from their 2002 album entitled ”Hullabaloo”. I am in no way, shape or form affiliated with the named group, or any characters presented in this writing. No copyright infringement intended.
Read:
Chapter 1 |
Chapter 2 |
Chapter 3 |
Chapter 4 |
Chapter 5 |
Chapter 6 |
Chapter 7 |
Chapter 8 |
Chapter 9 |
Chapter 10 |
Chapter 11 |
Chapter 12 |
Chapter 13 |
Chapter 14 |
Chapter 15 Month two. Day five.
-Part four-
As soon as Kevin emerged from the bathroom, Eli greeted him with an austere expression. The younger didn’t say anything, just sat on the edge of the bed, beside him and placed a hand on his knee. Eli looked up and knew it wasn’t necessary for him to say anything, as Kevin understood it was time to prolong was had started that morning.
Eli told him his conversation with Alexander that took place hours before, trying to reproduce every word he had said over the phone. He also admitted that he knew about his parents’ early arrival and apologized for not attempting to warn him when he should have, but Kevin shook his head and smiled.
‘I understand you couldn’t.’ He said. ‘Besides, I already knew, so it wouldn’t have made a difference.’
Eli’s eyes widened.
‘What do you mean you knew? Since when?’ he asked, turning to face him properly.
‘This morning. I was about to come and talk to Alexander after you left my room, but I heard you were already inside. I wasn’t there from the beginning, but grasped most of your conversation.’ He paused for a while, then continued. ‘I was so mad at him after hearing about my parents. I still am, actually. And I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive him for betraying me like this.’ Eli noticed he wasn’t addressing to his superior as ‘Xander’, which made him feel satisfied.
‘Is that why you ran away?’
‘Yes.’ Kevin answered plainly. ‘And I don’t regret doing it.’
‘You worried me. You could have been in a much worse state than how I found you.’
‘I know and I’m sorry.’ Kevin cuddled at his chest. ‘But I had to do it. It didn’t work, but at least I know I tried my best. And what will come next… I have no idea.’
‘Alexander is on his way here.’
Kevin looked up at him and didn’t say anything.
‘I told him to come alone and avoid telling your folks.’ Eli kissed his nose.
They settled on the bed properly, against the backrest, with Kevin’s head leaned on Eli’s chest and one hand on his stomach. The older held him like in infant - and right then, he felt like one; fragile, breakable, in dire need of protection and comfort. It was like despite the obvious blight that was about to occur in a few minutes, they knew how to cope with it, while waiting patiently for whatever was about to happen. It was weird how two entirely different people could share feelings of such intensity without even realizing.
‘You know, I had the funniest dream last night.’ Kevin spoke. ‘I was about to finish my healing program and then go out in the world, like Kiseop.’ Eli felt bothered by his naming, when it should have been only about them in those last few minutes together, but didn’t interrupt him. ‘And then I woke up realizing something like that won’t happen.’ He concluded miserably.
‘Kev, you won’t be stuck in this position forever. You will recover, one day, I just know you will. You’re smart and strong, it would be a miracle not to succeed. It takes time. But someday, it’ll be possible.’
Kevin laughed softly.
‘Someday.’ He repeated. ‘Someday in another life. Look at me, I’ve been glued to base one for the past twelve years. I’ve seen patients come and go, but I never progress. You saw what happened today, I barely recognized you. When will my time come?’
Eli felt hurt, hearing him talk like that.
‘I don’t know.’ He confessed, stroking his hair. ‘But what I’ve learned over the years is that misery doesn’t last forever. And neither will in your case.’
As he was about to say something else, the doorbell rang. Kevin clung onto him tightly, but everything Eli could do is to caress his hand reassuringly -though he knew what was going to happen, so the gesture was useless- and went to open. Kevin remained in bed and hugged a pillow, as he watched Eli make his way to the door. As soon as he heard the locks being turned, followed by the familiar faint screak of the old wooden frame, he got up and went closer by the exit, but remained hidden behind a wall.
‘Alexander.’ He noticed Eli’s voice was surprised. Why, he had no clue. ‘And this is…’
Kevin frowned.
‘We are Kevin’s parents.’ A familiar male voice spoke.
Kevin froze and started cursing under his breath, as his heartbeat increased. Eli told him Alexander was about to arrive alone, so what the hell was happening?
‘Where is our son?’ the same man asked, with an imposing tone.
Kevin took one deep breath and showed himself, before Eli had a chance to reply. He saw his father first, as he was staying straight, in a grey costume, with his arms hanging by his side. One could tell he liked taking care of his image, judging by the impeccable lines of his sleeves and expertly shaved face. A woman was standing right beside him, much shorter than him but holding the same ominous grace, as she looked straight into Kevin’s eyes. Neither of them said anything for a while, until his father spoke first.
‘Well? Aren’t you going to greet us?’ he asked Kevin, who seemed repelled by their presence. He didn’t say anything.
‘It’s no surprise.’ The man continued, after noting Kevin wasn’t going to utter a sound. ‘You grew up away from us, without any education. I wouldn’t even be surprised if you didn’t know how to tie your own shoelaces.’
The woman looked like she wanted to say something, but didn’t know how to formulate her words. His father turned towards Eli.
‘Thank you.’ he said. ‘Thank you for taking care of our irresponsible son. We shall pay back as much as you want. Though, you should have brought him back to where he belonged despite his pleas. He has always obtained everything through crying, it’s his way of manipulating. He doesn’t know any better.’
‘I manipulate people?’ Kevin hissed, taking one step closer. His mother backed away. ‘I don’t know any better?’
‘Kevin, not now.’ His father interrupted him. ‘You are in no position to talk, especially after what you did.’
‘And what exactly was that? Trying to run away from hell?’
The woman looked shocked and whispered his name, but didn’t add anything else. His father saw red before his eyes.
‘How dare you say that?’ he threatened. ‘We took care of you all these years and offered you the best conditions. We paid so much more than most facilities require just so that you can have what’s best. And now you’re implying, what? That we didn’t do enough? Or maybe we’re happy having a child like this?’ he raised his voice.
‘Right, Dad. Your disappointing, good-for-nothing, useless child. It’s always been like this, hasn’t it?’ Kevin almost shouted. ‘I was just a burden you had to deal with all these years.’
‘Stop right there, young man.’ The woman warned him. ‘You’d be on the streets right now if it wasn’t for us.’
‘Anywhere would be better than with you.’ Kevin replied, throwing her a queasy look.
Alexander and Eli looked at each other uneasy and slightly startled, as the other three were throwing daggers with their gazes. They wanted to say something to make the situation less tense, but felt lost at seeing how imposing his parents appeared, like they knew how to tower over anybody daring to cross their path. In the end Eli decided to speak, despite Alexander’s futile attempts at shutting him off.
‘Mr. Woo, if I may?’ he began, succeeding at catching everyone’s attention. Now that all heads turned towards him, he felt small. ‘We all know Kevin’s condition is delicate right now, but he’s been doing better at our hospital. He is progressing. Slowly, but safely. I, along with other fellow doctors and nurses working there, including his main supervisor’ -he pointed towards Alexander- ‘believe it would be better for him to continue staying there for a while. I think you’re making a mistake by wanting to take him away.’
‘How is that?’ the man asked. ‘Last time I checked, I’ve been told he isn’t showing much advancement.’ He turned towards Alexander, seeking for an explanation. Both Eli and Kevin noticed he got a little stuck before replying.
‘That’s true, Sir, however I did try, if you recall, to refrain you from taking him. All I can say is that he will recover much faster with us than with anybody else.’
‘We can provide better conditions.’ his mother said. ‘He’ll be staying with us, in a warm, comfortable home. There will be no more stress from all the drugs and nurses running around, not to mention that horrible medication smell.’
‘I’m happy there.’ Kevin said. ‘I told you last time and I’m going to say it again: I like it there! You think I’ll be happier if you take me away, but you’re wrong. I have friends there. I have people who care about me.’
‘We care about you. Besides, you don’t even know what you’re saying.’ The woman voiced. ‘You can’t make decisions by yourself because you don’t know how to differentiate right from wrong. And what friends? Those lunatics incapable of thinking for themselves?’
‘Madam, as I much I respect you, please don’t talk like that about them.’ Alexander said, mainly because he wanted to interfere in Kevin’s next stinging line. ‘Those people make great sacrifices to recover. They’re fighting everyday a disease they sometimes don’t even know they possess and don’t give up until they see the light of day again. I’m sorry to say this, but you don’t know what hardship is, because you never had to deal with those types of issues.’
Eli felt grateful towards him, for the first time in many weeks.
‘Is that what you think, that I don’t know my own son and the challenges he has to face?’ she asked incredulously.
‘You don’t.’ Kevin answered instead. Now everybody was facing him again, but he didn’t seem bothered. On the contrary, Eli felt like it gave him more courage. ‘Just the fact that you don’t want to listen to me and think I can’t make my own decisions proves you don’t know me.’
‘You can’t!’ his father shouted, taking everyone by surprise. ‘You never could and you never will, unless we take you out of there.’
‘I am afraid, not mentally deranged!’ he screamed back. Eli placed a hand on his shoulder to comfort him and make him lower his tone, but Kevin shook it off and continued. ‘I am perfectly capable of understanding the world around me. I know how to express opinions and make a distinction between good and bad. I am not one of those patients who need careful supervision or constant attention. I comprehend notions that you haven’t even heard about and understand my condition better than you can imagine. You don’t know crap about me because you never bothered to care!’ he finished, looking seriously infuriated.
The woman gasped in shock, while his father stared at him incensed. He was breathing heavily through his nose and seemed like he was about to rupture any minute, but remained steady. Alexander met Eli’s eyes and they agreed through an unspoken alliance to take it from there.
‘Mrs. Woo.’ Eli tried again. ‘I know how upset you are, but please, try to view things from his perspective as well. He’s not lying when he’s saying he’s happy there.’
‘And how would you know that?’ the man asked.
‘Because I had to take care of him for this past month and noticed his behavior. Not once have I seen him troubled or upset about anything.’
‘Besides,’ Alexander continued, ‘he is being very well taken care of. He needs people to interact with if you want him to recover faster, not to be isolated in a house. We have programs through which our residents interplay with each other and communicate better, it’s really beneficial. Not to mention psychiatrists and disorder analysts that are, I dare to say, the best in the country.’
Everyone kept quiet for a while and Eli could have sworn he almost heard them pondering upon their options. Kevin had a weird amalgam of expressions on his face, disclosing anger, hope and fear. Alexander refused to look into his eyes and haven’t ever since his arrival, which Eli found weird. Someone had been heard climbing up the stairs from the other side of the door, coughing and that was the only sound conveyed in a long minute. In the end Kevin’s father sighed, then open his mouth to speak, on a much lower resonance this time.
‘Alright then.’ He eventually said, while his mother stood still and listened. ‘He’ll stay. For how long, I don’t know, but for the time being, he won’t be leaving. We’ll return to the hospital now and pay for whatever needs to be paid, then we’ll be on our way.’
The three looked at him carefully, as if he was about to announce any minute he had been joking, then gazed one last time at Kevin, before turning to leave. As his steps were fading down the corridor, his mother closed her eyes for a second, before walking towards her son to embrace him. Kevin stood stiff, looking straight ahead and not moving a muscle. After they separated Eli noticed the tears in her eyes, then made room for her to head out the door. Alexander took a deep sigh of relief and grabbed his coat.
‘You two stay here a for a while longer, come back later.’ He said, ready to go after them. ‘I have to drive them back, there are papers to be signed and I need to make sure they fully understood the situation and won’t pull the same thing on us in a few months.’
‘Thank you.’ Eli said. ‘I can’t believe they agreed.’
Alexander nodded, smiling.
‘Yeah, me neither. I thought the ceiling was about to collapse on me when he agreed. And Kevin-’ he turned towards the younger, who was shooting him a cold look. ‘-I’ll see you soon.’
And with that he left, making sure to close the door behind him.
A deep silence installed after that, as Eli turned towards his lover and looked at him. Kevin was simply watching him, not daring to defer the eye contact, but not precisely shifting from his place in the doorframe either. Eli came near him and hugged him. The younger hugged back, unsure at first, but grasping more and more of Eli’s clothes as minutes passed. He buried his face in his shoulder blade and they just stood like that for a long time, rocking soothingly back and forth. After what seemed an eternity Kevin distanced himself a little, although he kept his arms tangled around Eli’s neck and kissed him.
He kissed his cheek, his nose, his lips, his forehead and his jaw line. He cupped Eli’s face in his hands and continued placing smooches all across it, while softly whimpering with joy. Eli laughed and grabbed his waist, then lifted him in the air so that Kevin could circle his waist with his legs. He carried him that way until they reached the bed, then let both of them crash onto the mattress.
‘We did it.’ Kevin whispered.
‘We sure did.’ Eli replied tenderly, holding him like a child who had just injured himself and needed attention.
‘Eli?’
‘Hm?’
‘We did it.’
Eli smiled and kissed his hair.
‘I was good, though.’ He said. ‘You have to admit that.’
Kevin laughed slightly and smacked him on the shoulder.
‘Hey.’ The older protested. ‘What was that for?’
‘Being overly-zealous. It doesn’t suit you.’
‘Huh.’ He exclaimed. ‘Well then. I think I deserve a prize after going into the lion’s cage with such bravery.’ he said, holding his lips for a kiss. Kevin grinned and placed his index finger on his mouth.
‘I have a better idea.’ He breathed in his ear, while gently lifting Eli’s shirt at the same time.
After all, they still had a few hours to go.