Map of your head (chapter 12)
Title: Map of your head
Fandom: U-KISS
Characters & Pairings: Elvin, Xander, OFC, other possible episodic characters.
Rating: NC-17 in this chapter, PG-13 in general
Genre: Romance, Fluff, Humor, Drama
Summary: "Because the language confuses, like computers refuse to understand how I'm feeling today."
Eli is new to this world. Kevin makes him feel like home.
Disclaimer: The title belongs to English rock-band Muse, as well as the lyrics, extracted from their 2002 album entitled ”Hullabaloo”. I am in no way, shape or form affiliated with the named group, or any characters presented in this writing. No copyright infringement intended.
Read: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11
Month two. Day four.
Despite being worried sick, despite all the anguish they felt and stress that just refused to go away, Eli decided to comply with Kevin’s wish after all and take him to his apartment again. He didn’t want to believe it, but maybe it would be Kevin’s last time, just like he said. And no matter how much he wanted to simply discard that thought out the window, he couldn’t deny that pushing the problems away in your head doesn’t mean they’ll disperse in real life as well.
He was walking as fast as he could along the crowded streets of the city -city that was always crammed with people regardless of the hour, a detail which Eli always loved-, since he woke up late and missed the bus. He thought about taking a cab, but had to settle either for an energizer for Kevin, or transportation, which could be overthrown by taking a quick jog. So purchasing the drink and then running for his life seemed like the best idea.
The first person he wanted to see after entering the building was Alexander, to ask him if he had come up with any other plan since last time, but mainly because he needed permission to take his lover out again. As usual, being the despotic head-nurse that he was he hadn’t arrived yet, so Eli decided that nurse Bess was his next best option. Sure she could be rather sovereign at times, mostly just eerie, but the two of them were his only direct superiors in the building, and he was sort of in a rush. He wanted to make sure that Kevin had the time of his life, even if this time he hadn’t prepared anything special, and that was a feature that had to include as much time as possible as well.
He headed straight for the third floor -an area in which nurse Bess clearly told him not to come-, searching for her office. Only after taking a few steps and facing the reality that rested there he understood the meaning behind her words. The place was more than just a little phrenic.
The noise was unbearably canny, as Eli made his way towards the end of the hallway. There were patients running around and screaming insults, pulling each other’s hair, clothes and arms. There were doodles scattered all across the walls and the floor, some illustrating highly offensive images, while others a mass of circles. There was at least one nurse in each room, trying to calm down the resident living there, either by holding them firmly to the bed, or by injecting them with tranquilizers. At some point, one young boy -younger than Kevin, Eli noticed- hung onto his sleeve and started dragging it forcefully, as if he was trying to undress him. He started screaming in his hear when Eli tried pushing him away and followed him in the same manner until he managed to reach nurse Bess’ office and enter.
**
The sound of the hospital’s elevator sounded almost delicate, Eli thought after arriving back to the second floor. He succeeded in obtaining permission to take Kevin out, after many pledges and promises, and was now wending for the younger’s room, eager to give him the good news. He stopped by the lockers first, taking out the energizer from his bag and started looking around the room for Alexander. After failing in noticing him anywhere in range, he headed towards his office, knocked a few times and waited for a reply with a hopeful outlook, but received no answer. So, without wasting any more time, Eli found himself a few seconds later thumping at Kevin’s door, swiftly entering after hearing his approval.
Kevin was in bed, covered in blankets, leaned against the backrest, with a giant dictionary in his hands.
‘I was half expecting to find you in the library.’ Eli said after closing the door behind him.
‘It’s cold today.’ Kevin replied with a frown on his face. ‘It’s like the North Pole outside.’
Eli took a peek in the window’s direction, only to notice brief rays of sun gendering through the curtain.
‘That doesn’t count.’ Kevin said again, noticing his gaze. ‘It’s still cold.’
‘Well then, I guess it’s a good thing I brought this.’ The older smiled, revealing the silver can he had been hiding behind his back. Kevin jumped in a blink of an eye and clung his arms around his neck, gently biting him by his earlobe as a sign of gratitude. This turned Eli on a little more than he had expected and suggested they both go back in bed to warm Kevin up.
‘I thought you never asked.’ The younger grinned, letting himself fall onto the mattress, while at the same time pulling Eli above him. He felt Kevin being especially playful today, despite the cold skin that made him shiver. Eli let himself being touched and caressed, undeterred by the fact that he always had the feeling that he should be the one offering Kevin all the physical attention, and not the other way around. Still, with his slim, long fingers and gentle, but likewise possessive hands sliding all across his back and his arms, he couldn’t deny that it was an empyrean sensation.
When Kevin started moaning, Eli took it as an advantage and moved his free hand smoothly across his abdomen, while the other was resting on his waist. He drew a few circles first, to assure him that nothing was about to go unjust, and shifted it lower his body, stopping right above his pelvis. He knew it wouldn’t be easy for Kevin to open himself up to somebody after what he had gone through, even if it was Eli, so he didn’t want to push his luck.
However, noticing Kevin deepen more into the kiss and markedly arching his back emboldened him to continue, until his palm was pressing against Kevin’s rapidly-growing errection. Kevin immediately opened his eyes and got up, jolting Eli to the side.
‘I’m sorry, I…’ he whispered.
Eli was immediately by his side, placing his arms on his shoulders.
‘No, don’t apologize. I got carried away. I know I shouldn’t have.’
Kevin buried his nose in Eli’s neck and inhaled deeply. They stood like that for a few moments, until the older decided to alter the atmosphere into a friendlier one.
‘What were you reading, anyway?’ he asked.
Kevin picked up the massive book and showed Eli the cover. It was an illustrated Korean-Danish dictionary, with colorful pages, divided into more than a hundred categories.
‘Danish, huh? Danish. Danish…’
‘Why so mesmerized?’
‘Since when the sudden interest?’
‘Since now, I guess.’ Kevin shrugged his shoulders. ‘Wanna learn with me?’
‘I have a better idea.’ Eli smirked. ‘Why don’t we go and study at my place?’
**
After Kevin’s initial twitch of high spirits, alloyed with much kissing and grazing, they agreed on avoiding any more time waste and headed for the building’s exit. Once outside, Eli didn’t hesitate in grabbing him by the shoulder and holding him as close as possible, noticing his slight panic after seeing the mass of people walking by. Kevin simply held his head enveloped by Eli’s hoodie, while the older kept whispering soothing words to him, in order to calm him down until the arrival of the cab. Once inside he managed to appease a little, even if he still felt a bit disturbed by the driver’s presence.
As usual, the ride lasted very little -although to Kevin it seemed like a chilling eternity- and it was only after they both found themselves inside Eli’s apartment that he could feel unconditionally at ease. Albeit this wasn’t his first time here, it amused Eli how fascinated he seemed to be once more, as if everything was new to him. It was like he was reliving their first little ‘adventure’ all over again.
He opened the TV on the music channel -somewhat predictable, really- then headed for the kitchen, where Eli was drinking a glass of water.
‘What do you want to do?’ the older asked, leaning against the counter. ‘Besides the boring stuff, like playing games or watching some lame reality show.’
‘Let’s cook something.’ Kevin announced merrily.
Eli looked at him with questioning eyes.
‘You want to cook? Neither of us can cook.’
‘Which will only make it more fun.’
‘But I don’t have much stuff around. Like I said last time, I mostly either order or prepare awfully easy dishes, like sandwiches and such. I don’t have the slightest idea about actual cooking.’
‘Let’s turn it into a game. We can only use the ingredients you have lying around, and whoever comes up with the best finished product can give the loser a punishment.’
Eli laughed.
‘A punishment consisting in…?’
‘I have no idea. We’ll think of something.’
‘Deal.’
Eli didn’t really feel like being inventive, since his sluggish mood was almost screaming at him to prepare a giant cup of coffee and crash onto the bed, but seeing Kevin so energetic and bubbly boosted him to accede with all of his requests. Thus, armed with patience and a blasting music, he started taking our everything hidden in his fridge and shelves, surprised to find some cans of frozen vegetables he didn’t even remember buying.
Fifteen minutes later, he was greatly entertained by Kevin’s poor attempt at what he liked to call ‘potato pie’ - some twisted, messy dish that didn’t look precisely decent. Hell, it didn’t even look edible. Kevin noticed him laughing and, sipping his finger in the blotchy mixture on the plate he rubbed it out on Eli’s cheek, leaving a smelly trail behind. As a revenge, Eli grabbed a much larger quantity of his own recipe -a soup that had the consistency of gelatin- and tried to polish Kevin’s forehead with it.
They went on in the exact same manner for the next few minutes, until they both somehow ended on the floor, laughing hysterically whenever one of them would try swiping the odd substances on the other’s face, then clean it by licking it off. After many ‘Eww’s and ‘We both suck at cooking so much’, accompanied by an occasional ‘This is so gross’, they stopped after hearing a knock on the door.
Kevin immediately looked up at Eli, who was half above him, half on the ground.
‘Do you know who that is?’ he asked, both of them getting up.
‘I have no idea. Probably some door-to-door seller. Wait here, I’ll go check.’
He quickly cleaned his face with a paper towel and headed for the door, taken aback by the increased number of knocks, this time much louder.
‘Yeah, yeah, coming. Just stop bangi-’
He froze after seeing Alexander standing there, with his hands in his coat’s pockets, looking more sober than ever. He was sitting straight, looking directly into Eli’s eyes, who was staring back dumbfounded.
‘May I come in?’ Alexander asked, in a voice so bound and determined, it almost scared Eli.
‘Uh, sure.’ He said, moving to the side.
‘So where’s Kevin?’ he asked with an ice-cold tone.
‘In the kitchen.’
Alexander immediately proceeded towards the direction Eli indicated, only to find an agitated-looking Kevin, along with an indescribable mess. A flaky, flesh-colored paste was dripping from one of the bowls, while utensils and pieces of food were covering the table and the floor. Kevin was sitting right in the middle of it, with his arms crossed, leaned against one of the chairs.
‘Xander.’ He said with a strangled voice. ‘What are you going here?’
‘I could ask you guys the same thing.’ He replied, taking turns in gazing at the two of them. ‘Even if I knew I would find you here.’
‘How?’ the younger asked, almost in a whisper.
‘Well that is an interesting question indeed. Maybe you should be more careful next time you’re alone. And maybe, just maybe, you might consider kissing in a safer place.’
Both Kevin and Eli stiffened, but their hearts started beating in unison, in a rhythmic pace. It was the first time Alexander was speaking like this, in such a frigid and threatening way it made both of them tremble to the bone. Eli didn’t know what to say, even if he could see his superior looking more at him.
‘I saw you last night after you -and he turned to face Eli- told me you were going to the bathroom. I thought I might as well pay Kevin a visit, only to hear, even behind the closed door, your conversation. And you know, I ask myself why did I even open the door to convince myself, anyway. Because after what I’ve seen, I really believe it would have been better not to.’
He walked further into the kitchen, trying to avoid the messy spots on the floor. He circled Kevin once, making him feel weak, like the prey is targeted by the lion, then stopped in front of the window.
‘I should’ve remained oblivious to all of this. Even it meant being lied to, by both of you. And the worst part is that I really trusted you, Kevin.’
Kevin kept standing in a fixed position, with his back turned at him, not daring to look him in the eye.
‘You’ve been my best friend for these past few years and when you told me there’s nothing going on between the two of you, I really believed you. Because hey, I barely know Eli, I’m not actually that surprised he lied to me. But you?’
Eli immediately looked at Kevin, confounded to hear what Alexander was telling him. Kevin never mentioned speaking about this with him, which sort of bothered him. He thought they had no secrets.
‘And Eli -he turned his fixed stare to the named one once more- do you even know what you’re doing?’
Eli looked at him for a split second, before inhaling and opening his mouth to speak.
‘I know it’s wrong-’ he began.
‘Wrong?!’ Alexander screamed, which made Kevin almost whimper. ‘You call this wrong? This is beyond wrong and I think you’re not even aware of it. I clearly told you how dangerous this is - for you, your job, Kevin and everything else in between. Do you even have the slightest idea of how much the two of you are putting at stake? Do you?!’
Eli knew he should say something, but he didn’t know what. Of course he was conscious about the fact that their relationship was delicate -that wasn’t even the right word- but he couldn’t say it out loud. He valued what the had with Kevin too much to express the risk of it. It was like saying it audibly would make their entire world crash.
‘Xander,’ Kevin tried, before being abruptly interrupted.
‘No.’ Alexander said, raising his hand to silence him. ‘I don’t want to hear any excuses. You’re coming back with me to the hospital right now. And you -he pointed at Eli- don’t you dare returning to work today. Take some time and think about what you’re doing. I expect you tomorrow morning in my office. This conversation won’t end here.’
After that he grabbed Kevin by the arm in a rather violent way and directed him towards the exit. Kevin looked like he wanted to say something, he looked at Eli for help, probably assurance that everything was going to be alright, but the older simply stared down miserably the entire time, not even fronting to say something.
After the two of them were outside Alexander smashed the door closed, producing a chilly wave of air behind.
Eli remained motionless in the kitchen for a long time after that.
Fandom: U-KISS
Characters & Pairings: Elvin, Xander, OFC, other possible episodic characters.
Rating: NC-17 in this chapter, PG-13 in general
Genre: Romance, Fluff, Humor, Drama
Summary: "Because the language confuses, like computers refuse to understand how I'm feeling today."
Eli is new to this world. Kevin makes him feel like home.
Disclaimer: The title belongs to English rock-band Muse, as well as the lyrics, extracted from their 2002 album entitled ”Hullabaloo”. I am in no way, shape or form affiliated with the named group, or any characters presented in this writing. No copyright infringement intended.
Read: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11
Month two. Day four.
Despite being worried sick, despite all the anguish they felt and stress that just refused to go away, Eli decided to comply with Kevin’s wish after all and take him to his apartment again. He didn’t want to believe it, but maybe it would be Kevin’s last time, just like he said. And no matter how much he wanted to simply discard that thought out the window, he couldn’t deny that pushing the problems away in your head doesn’t mean they’ll disperse in real life as well.
He was walking as fast as he could along the crowded streets of the city -city that was always crammed with people regardless of the hour, a detail which Eli always loved-, since he woke up late and missed the bus. He thought about taking a cab, but had to settle either for an energizer for Kevin, or transportation, which could be overthrown by taking a quick jog. So purchasing the drink and then running for his life seemed like the best idea.
The first person he wanted to see after entering the building was Alexander, to ask him if he had come up with any other plan since last time, but mainly because he needed permission to take his lover out again. As usual, being the despotic head-nurse that he was he hadn’t arrived yet, so Eli decided that nurse Bess was his next best option. Sure she could be rather sovereign at times, mostly just eerie, but the two of them were his only direct superiors in the building, and he was sort of in a rush. He wanted to make sure that Kevin had the time of his life, even if this time he hadn’t prepared anything special, and that was a feature that had to include as much time as possible as well.
He headed straight for the third floor -an area in which nurse Bess clearly told him not to come-, searching for her office. Only after taking a few steps and facing the reality that rested there he understood the meaning behind her words. The place was more than just a little phrenic.
The noise was unbearably canny, as Eli made his way towards the end of the hallway. There were patients running around and screaming insults, pulling each other’s hair, clothes and arms. There were doodles scattered all across the walls and the floor, some illustrating highly offensive images, while others a mass of circles. There was at least one nurse in each room, trying to calm down the resident living there, either by holding them firmly to the bed, or by injecting them with tranquilizers. At some point, one young boy -younger than Kevin, Eli noticed- hung onto his sleeve and started dragging it forcefully, as if he was trying to undress him. He started screaming in his hear when Eli tried pushing him away and followed him in the same manner until he managed to reach nurse Bess’ office and enter.
**
The sound of the hospital’s elevator sounded almost delicate, Eli thought after arriving back to the second floor. He succeeded in obtaining permission to take Kevin out, after many pledges and promises, and was now wending for the younger’s room, eager to give him the good news. He stopped by the lockers first, taking out the energizer from his bag and started looking around the room for Alexander. After failing in noticing him anywhere in range, he headed towards his office, knocked a few times and waited for a reply with a hopeful outlook, but received no answer. So, without wasting any more time, Eli found himself a few seconds later thumping at Kevin’s door, swiftly entering after hearing his approval.
Kevin was in bed, covered in blankets, leaned against the backrest, with a giant dictionary in his hands.
‘I was half expecting to find you in the library.’ Eli said after closing the door behind him.
‘It’s cold today.’ Kevin replied with a frown on his face. ‘It’s like the North Pole outside.’
Eli took a peek in the window’s direction, only to notice brief rays of sun gendering through the curtain.
‘That doesn’t count.’ Kevin said again, noticing his gaze. ‘It’s still cold.’
‘Well then, I guess it’s a good thing I brought this.’ The older smiled, revealing the silver can he had been hiding behind his back. Kevin jumped in a blink of an eye and clung his arms around his neck, gently biting him by his earlobe as a sign of gratitude. This turned Eli on a little more than he had expected and suggested they both go back in bed to warm Kevin up.
‘I thought you never asked.’ The younger grinned, letting himself fall onto the mattress, while at the same time pulling Eli above him. He felt Kevin being especially playful today, despite the cold skin that made him shiver. Eli let himself being touched and caressed, undeterred by the fact that he always had the feeling that he should be the one offering Kevin all the physical attention, and not the other way around. Still, with his slim, long fingers and gentle, but likewise possessive hands sliding all across his back and his arms, he couldn’t deny that it was an empyrean sensation.
When Kevin started moaning, Eli took it as an advantage and moved his free hand smoothly across his abdomen, while the other was resting on his waist. He drew a few circles first, to assure him that nothing was about to go unjust, and shifted it lower his body, stopping right above his pelvis. He knew it wouldn’t be easy for Kevin to open himself up to somebody after what he had gone through, even if it was Eli, so he didn’t want to push his luck.
However, noticing Kevin deepen more into the kiss and markedly arching his back emboldened him to continue, until his palm was pressing against Kevin’s rapidly-growing errection. Kevin immediately opened his eyes and got up, jolting Eli to the side.
‘I’m sorry, I…’ he whispered.
Eli was immediately by his side, placing his arms on his shoulders.
‘No, don’t apologize. I got carried away. I know I shouldn’t have.’
Kevin buried his nose in Eli’s neck and inhaled deeply. They stood like that for a few moments, until the older decided to alter the atmosphere into a friendlier one.
‘What were you reading, anyway?’ he asked.
Kevin picked up the massive book and showed Eli the cover. It was an illustrated Korean-Danish dictionary, with colorful pages, divided into more than a hundred categories.
‘Danish, huh? Danish. Danish…’
‘Why so mesmerized?’
‘Since when the sudden interest?’
‘Since now, I guess.’ Kevin shrugged his shoulders. ‘Wanna learn with me?’
‘I have a better idea.’ Eli smirked. ‘Why don’t we go and study at my place?’
**
After Kevin’s initial twitch of high spirits, alloyed with much kissing and grazing, they agreed on avoiding any more time waste and headed for the building’s exit. Once outside, Eli didn’t hesitate in grabbing him by the shoulder and holding him as close as possible, noticing his slight panic after seeing the mass of people walking by. Kevin simply held his head enveloped by Eli’s hoodie, while the older kept whispering soothing words to him, in order to calm him down until the arrival of the cab. Once inside he managed to appease a little, even if he still felt a bit disturbed by the driver’s presence.
As usual, the ride lasted very little -although to Kevin it seemed like a chilling eternity- and it was only after they both found themselves inside Eli’s apartment that he could feel unconditionally at ease. Albeit this wasn’t his first time here, it amused Eli how fascinated he seemed to be once more, as if everything was new to him. It was like he was reliving their first little ‘adventure’ all over again.
He opened the TV on the music channel -somewhat predictable, really- then headed for the kitchen, where Eli was drinking a glass of water.
‘What do you want to do?’ the older asked, leaning against the counter. ‘Besides the boring stuff, like playing games or watching some lame reality show.’
‘Let’s cook something.’ Kevin announced merrily.
Eli looked at him with questioning eyes.
‘You want to cook? Neither of us can cook.’
‘Which will only make it more fun.’
‘But I don’t have much stuff around. Like I said last time, I mostly either order or prepare awfully easy dishes, like sandwiches and such. I don’t have the slightest idea about actual cooking.’
‘Let’s turn it into a game. We can only use the ingredients you have lying around, and whoever comes up with the best finished product can give the loser a punishment.’
Eli laughed.
‘A punishment consisting in…?’
‘I have no idea. We’ll think of something.’
‘Deal.’
Eli didn’t really feel like being inventive, since his sluggish mood was almost screaming at him to prepare a giant cup of coffee and crash onto the bed, but seeing Kevin so energetic and bubbly boosted him to accede with all of his requests. Thus, armed with patience and a blasting music, he started taking our everything hidden in his fridge and shelves, surprised to find some cans of frozen vegetables he didn’t even remember buying.
Fifteen minutes later, he was greatly entertained by Kevin’s poor attempt at what he liked to call ‘potato pie’ - some twisted, messy dish that didn’t look precisely decent. Hell, it didn’t even look edible. Kevin noticed him laughing and, sipping his finger in the blotchy mixture on the plate he rubbed it out on Eli’s cheek, leaving a smelly trail behind. As a revenge, Eli grabbed a much larger quantity of his own recipe -a soup that had the consistency of gelatin- and tried to polish Kevin’s forehead with it.
They went on in the exact same manner for the next few minutes, until they both somehow ended on the floor, laughing hysterically whenever one of them would try swiping the odd substances on the other’s face, then clean it by licking it off. After many ‘Eww’s and ‘We both suck at cooking so much’, accompanied by an occasional ‘This is so gross’, they stopped after hearing a knock on the door.
Kevin immediately looked up at Eli, who was half above him, half on the ground.
‘Do you know who that is?’ he asked, both of them getting up.
‘I have no idea. Probably some door-to-door seller. Wait here, I’ll go check.’
He quickly cleaned his face with a paper towel and headed for the door, taken aback by the increased number of knocks, this time much louder.
‘Yeah, yeah, coming. Just stop bangi-’
He froze after seeing Alexander standing there, with his hands in his coat’s pockets, looking more sober than ever. He was sitting straight, looking directly into Eli’s eyes, who was staring back dumbfounded.
‘May I come in?’ Alexander asked, in a voice so bound and determined, it almost scared Eli.
‘Uh, sure.’ He said, moving to the side.
‘So where’s Kevin?’ he asked with an ice-cold tone.
‘In the kitchen.’
Alexander immediately proceeded towards the direction Eli indicated, only to find an agitated-looking Kevin, along with an indescribable mess. A flaky, flesh-colored paste was dripping from one of the bowls, while utensils and pieces of food were covering the table and the floor. Kevin was sitting right in the middle of it, with his arms crossed, leaned against one of the chairs.
‘Xander.’ He said with a strangled voice. ‘What are you going here?’
‘I could ask you guys the same thing.’ He replied, taking turns in gazing at the two of them. ‘Even if I knew I would find you here.’
‘How?’ the younger asked, almost in a whisper.
‘Well that is an interesting question indeed. Maybe you should be more careful next time you’re alone. And maybe, just maybe, you might consider kissing in a safer place.’
Both Kevin and Eli stiffened, but their hearts started beating in unison, in a rhythmic pace. It was the first time Alexander was speaking like this, in such a frigid and threatening way it made both of them tremble to the bone. Eli didn’t know what to say, even if he could see his superior looking more at him.
‘I saw you last night after you -and he turned to face Eli- told me you were going to the bathroom. I thought I might as well pay Kevin a visit, only to hear, even behind the closed door, your conversation. And you know, I ask myself why did I even open the door to convince myself, anyway. Because after what I’ve seen, I really believe it would have been better not to.’
He walked further into the kitchen, trying to avoid the messy spots on the floor. He circled Kevin once, making him feel weak, like the prey is targeted by the lion, then stopped in front of the window.
‘I should’ve remained oblivious to all of this. Even it meant being lied to, by both of you. And the worst part is that I really trusted you, Kevin.’
Kevin kept standing in a fixed position, with his back turned at him, not daring to look him in the eye.
‘You’ve been my best friend for these past few years and when you told me there’s nothing going on between the two of you, I really believed you. Because hey, I barely know Eli, I’m not actually that surprised he lied to me. But you?’
Eli immediately looked at Kevin, confounded to hear what Alexander was telling him. Kevin never mentioned speaking about this with him, which sort of bothered him. He thought they had no secrets.
‘And Eli -he turned his fixed stare to the named one once more- do you even know what you’re doing?’
Eli looked at him for a split second, before inhaling and opening his mouth to speak.
‘I know it’s wrong-’ he began.
‘Wrong?!’ Alexander screamed, which made Kevin almost whimper. ‘You call this wrong? This is beyond wrong and I think you’re not even aware of it. I clearly told you how dangerous this is - for you, your job, Kevin and everything else in between. Do you even have the slightest idea of how much the two of you are putting at stake? Do you?!’
Eli knew he should say something, but he didn’t know what. Of course he was conscious about the fact that their relationship was delicate -that wasn’t even the right word- but he couldn’t say it out loud. He valued what the had with Kevin too much to express the risk of it. It was like saying it audibly would make their entire world crash.
‘Xander,’ Kevin tried, before being abruptly interrupted.
‘No.’ Alexander said, raising his hand to silence him. ‘I don’t want to hear any excuses. You’re coming back with me to the hospital right now. And you -he pointed at Eli- don’t you dare returning to work today. Take some time and think about what you’re doing. I expect you tomorrow morning in my office. This conversation won’t end here.’
After that he grabbed Kevin by the arm in a rather violent way and directed him towards the exit. Kevin looked like he wanted to say something, he looked at Eli for help, probably assurance that everything was going to be alright, but the older simply stared down miserably the entire time, not even fronting to say something.
After the two of them were outside Alexander smashed the door closed, producing a chilly wave of air behind.
Eli remained motionless in the kitchen for a long time after that.