Today, I shut off my phone in attempt to try to catch some sleep and threw it somewhere in my room. It took me awhile to find it but after I rolled in the bed for hours playing with kitty, I decided to turn it on. I had a whole load of texts from Ray and a couple of missed calls from him and my mom. I didn't bother calling them back. I was too ( Read more... )

Today I talked to a little birdie, that told me about my faults in my relationship with my boyfriend. He told me to accept the fact that he's dying and leaving me, and that I give false hope. I'm making him fight too hard and causing him pain. He should be leaving this world in peace, not in pain fighting for me. The birdie called me a princess, ( Read more... )

Today I got a phone call from my sister. My grandpa is in critical condition, he suffered from a heart attack yesterday when no one was home and he is now having trouble breathing and in the hospital. I'm scared. Me and my grandpa... I used to hate my grandpa. Why you may ask? Because my grandpa never once liked or complimented my dad. I never saw ( Read more... )

Last night I broke down in front of lollipop hyung. I couldn't take all the stress happening and I cried and cried until I let most of the things out. After all the crying, we made each other laugh. I know hyung was crying too. And I'm sorry for making him cry. I wish I didn't make others cry. I wished I could be stronger and help others instead of ( Read more... )

Today was a crying day for me. Overall I was crying all day, and having trouble. So it seems his fever wasn't just a fever after all. Doctors suspect it to be more than that and truthfully, not everyone is positive about it. But I promised to stay positive so I did, I wiped the tears and smiled best I can. I told my mom truthfully the reasons I ( Read more... )

I can't even explain how I feel now... Sick, cold, worried, tired, sleepy... and yet, I can't sleep and I can't focus on other things... I feel broken... when the past haunts you and the present starts to fade...