Fic: Steady As She Goes (20/86)
Title: Steady As She Goes (20/86)
Author: dak
Word Count: 1895 this part; [36,486 overall]
Summary for Whole: After an accidental shooting at the station, Gene struggles to keep his team from tearing themselves apart.
Summary this Part: Sam wakes up again.
Rating: still Blue-ish Cortina, uhm, what's slightly darker than blue?
Warnings: angst, swearing, violence, violent imagery, minor drug use, mild sexual situations, self-harm for whole
Spoilers: none here; see each chapter for specific spoiler warnings
Pairing: mild Sam/Annie, Sam/Maya
Disclaimer: Belongs to BBC/Kudos
A/N: Finally have this part finished. Huzzah!
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 29 Part 30 Part 31 Part 32 Part 33 Part 34 Part 35 Part 36 Part 37 Part 38 Part 39 Part 40 Part 41 Part 42 Part 43 Part 44 Part 45 Part 46 Part 47 Part 48 Part 49 Part 50 Part 51 Part 52 Part 53 Part 54 Part 55 Part 56 Part 57 Part 58 Part 59 Part 60 Part 61 Part 62 Part 63 Part 64 Part 65 Part 66 Part 67 Part 68 Part 69 Part 70 Part 71 Part 72 Part 73 Part 74 Part 75 Part 76 Part 77 Part 78 Part 79 Part 80 Part 81 Part 82 Part 83 Part 84 Part 85 Part 86
"It is a commonly used medication in the experimental treatment of coma patients."
The seemingly endless excuses did little to soothe Gene’s anger. Since the doctor felt his arm beginning to snap as Gene twisted it further he thought it best to clarify his explanation.
"Dexedrine has shown tremendous results in the recovery of traumatic brain injury patients, with very few side effects while used in controlled situations. Cases of serious depression resulting in suicidal tendencies are considered very rare. Less than three percent. If Mr. Tyler had only told us he was exp--"
Gene pushed the doctor into the wall. "You expected him to explain how messed up he felt when the poor lad could barely string two words together without hackin’ up a lung?" Gene released the small man, letting him crumple to the floor.
He didn’t need this. He just didn’t need this. Not with a trio of skinhead murderers to find and two unsolved homicides the Super was pressuring him to close.
The doctor tried to maintain some ounce of pride as he picked himself up off the floor and massaged his aching arm. "Of course we’ve stopped the treatment immediately."
"Bit late for that innit?" Gene spat.
The doctor chose to ignore him. "It will take some time for the drug to work its way out of Mr. Tyler’s system. We have started him on an anti-depressant to counteract the negative effects of the Dexedrine, and also some non-opiate based pain medication to help with the symptoms of withdrawal."
"Withdrawal?" Gene’s head snapped up from his hands.
"We will also need to keep him under psychiatric observation--"
"Withdrawal?"
"--to help Sam cope with his outburst and to ensure this doesn’t happen again."
"Withdrawal?" Gene had his hands wrapped around the doctor’s white coat. He could be ignored no longer.
"Dexedrine is an amphetamine, Mr. Hu--"
Gene punched him in the face. "An amphetamine!" he screamed, then hit him again. A nurse saw the altercation and yelled for help. Gene didn’t notice as he punched the man in the kidney. "You got ‘im hooked on speed!" Two large male orderlies ran down the hall and immediately latched themselves onto Gene. "You got my boy hooked on speed you sick bastard motherfuckin’ nob!" It took a third orderly to finally remove Gene’s fists from the doctor.
The man scrambled to his feet, rubbing his bruised jaw. "I want him banned from this hospital! And charged with assault. I don’t care who he thinks he is!"
The three orderlies dragged a struggling Gene all the way out to the street and dropped him on the pavement. Gene tried three times to re-enter the hospital, but the orderlies kept him at bay. Barely.
The men continued to guard the entrance as Gene paced outside, a lion denied his prey. Images kept flashing through his mind. Pictures of Sam getting high, an absent smile spread across his thin lips, of the skinny DI shaking on a street corner waiting to score his next hit. Some logical part of his brain not clouded with pure rage told him that wasn’t how it was, how it would never be. That had been Stu. Stu, not Sam. Sam hadn’t chose this. Sam had had this forced on him, into him. He hadn’t even been bloody conscious when that choice was made for him.
Yet those thoughts only fueled the hatred burning within. The doctor had said something else which added to Gene’s rage. Psychiatric evaluation. Brilliant. That’s all his cracked DI needed.
Gene didn’t know how long he spent pacing outside the hospital, a never-ending course of adrenaline pumping through his veins. All he knew was that at one moment he was thrown out on the pavement and the next Ray was pulling into the car park and shouting his name.
"Guv? Guv what ‘appened?" Ray tried to walk alongside his Guv but Gene waved him away.
"Aren’t you supposed to be out fetching Roy Martin?" He hissed.
"It’s done Guv. ‘E’s back at the station under lock an’ key. Jus’ brought ‘im in when Phyllis got a call ‘bout an assault at the hospital. Sent me over. The attacker matched, he...your description...Guv."
Gene refused to respond.
"What ‘appened? Is it the Boss? Summat happen to the Boss?"
"You said Martin’s at the nick?"
"Yes Guv."
Gene pulled out his flask, took a hefty sip, then pushed past Ray to get to his Cortina. Ray watched him speed off, the squeal of tyres waking every cat in a ten block radius. Ray was about to hop back in his own car, when he happened to glance back at the hospital.
*
Sam blinked open his eyes. Everything felt so fuzzy, and it wasn’t just his sight. His entire brain felt like it had been blended, pureed, then poured back in his head with a straw. As he woke the fuzziness slowly morphed into pain. It started at the base of his skull, a gentle pounding that spread up the back of his head til his whole skull was filled with a steady drumming.
He went to pinch the bridge of his nose but couldn’t. It was not from lack of strength he realized, though that didn’t help, but because his arms were strapped to the bed. What now? Were they afraid of him falling out of bed? Afraid he’d try and remove the catheter again?
Something had happened. Sam couldn’t really remember what. The more he tried to think, the more his head started to split open. At least that’s what it felt like.
"Nurse?" He choked out.
"I’ll get ‘er for yeh."
Sam hadn’t realized anyone was even in the room. He blinked his eyes again, clearing his vision, desperate to know who it was.
"Ray?
"You need the nurse Boss? I can fetch ‘er."
"What...why’re you..."
Ray nervously chewed his gum. "Guv went to go interrogate Roy Martin. I...He thought someone should be ‘ere when you woke up."
"Woke up? From what?"
"Why don’ I get that medical bird for yeh Boss."
Ray left him alone in the room and suddenly Sam felt more lost than ever. He couldn’t move his body so he turned his head side to side, despite the almost blinding pain inside his skull. Heart monitor on his left. IV, probably saline he thought, on his right along with...
"Oh Mr. Tyler! You’re awake. Good. Good." A middle-aged nurse puttered into the room with a cart. Ray had apparently decided to stay in the hall.
"Why...’m I receiving...a blood transfusion?"
The nurse parked the cart and started fiddling with the gauze and bandages sitting on top. "Now, Dr. Jayne wanted me to change your bandages when you came ‘round. So stay still. That’s a good lad."
Sam prepared for the woman to lift up his hospital gown but to his growing bewilderment she went for the padded leather strap around his left wrist. As she gently unbuckled it Sam felt an odd twinge emanating from the area. He tilted his head forward and saw another white strap around his wrist.
At first he thought it was just another example of archaic 1973 medical equipment, but when the nurse began to peel back the white strap Sam realized it wasn’t a strap at all. It was a bandage.
He started to tremble as his eyes locked on the freshly stitched cut running down his wrist. For once in his life Sam Tyler couldn’t speak.
The nurse finished removing the old wrappings and set Sam’s tender arm back on the bed as she prepared a new bandage.
"...Guv..." Sam managed to whisper as he stared at the scar.
"What was that luv?"
"I..." Sam glanced around nervously. "Doctor. Where’s the doctor? My doctor?"
The nurse began to re-wrap Sam’s wrist. "Oh, he’s not here at the moment. What do you need dear?"
"It hurts. My head..." The world was losing focus again. Sam wanted to massage his temple but as soon as she was done wrapping the bandage she re-secured the leather strap and moved to the other wrist. "Don’t. You don’t have to...do that."
"Mm-hm," was all the woman would say.
Sam fidgeted in the bed. He didn’t like it here. He didn’t like this woman. He didn’t trust her. "What happened...to me...what..."
"Oh I think you know."
Her fingers were so cold, tugging at his arm, his stitches. Sam realized how dark the room was. It was never this dark before. "No. No, I--"
"Now, denial isn’t going to help you Mr. Tyler," she smiled.
That smile. It wasn’t natural. Sam knew he’d seen that smile before, at night, on the telly, then in his flat.
"Almost done."
Sam tried to pull his arm away. "Guv," he croaked, still fighting the nurse.
"Mr. Tyler please stop that."
"Guv." He called again. "Guv! Gene!"
Ray rushed into the room. ‘What is it?" Sam was thrashing in the bed now, feverishly trying to escape the nurse’s grasp. "What’d you do to ‘im?"
Sam’s eyes darted to Ray. "She...she’s trying to kill me...Guv."
"Just calm down Mr. Tyler."
He pulled his arm away again.
"Boss? It’s Ray. DS Carling."
"Don’t let her...let her kill me Gene!"
"Boss? What’s wrong with ‘im?" Ray was frozen in the doorway, his gaze shifting between his struggling DI and the frazzled nurse.
"He’s having a panic attack." She had half her body carefully draped over Sam, trying to still him without causing further injury. "Do summit useful! You’re his friend. Talk to him!"
Was he Tyler’s friend? No one but a stranger would call them friends. He shouldn’t be here. He shouldn’t be seeing this. Annie or Chris or the Guv, it should be one of them. What was he supposed to do?
"Gene help me!"
"I’m not Gene," he whispered angrily.
"I don’t bloody well care who you are," the nurse demanded. "Help me calm him down ‘fore he bursts another lung!"
Ray looked back at Sam, at the pure terror in his DI’s eyes. Tyler would kill him if he knew Ray had ever seen him this weak.
"Tyler. Tyler you have to settle," he said in his sternest, Guv-like voice.
Sam seemed to respond, struggling just that much less. Ray took a tentative step forward.
"They’re going to kill me," Sam pleaded at him.
"You’re in hospital Tyler. You’re safe."
"I-I’m..."
Ray was next to the bed now. "No one’s goin’ ta hurt yeh." He put an unsure hand on Sam’s shoulder. "Not anymore. Alright Gladys?" Well, if he was pretending to be the Guv...
Sam looked away from Ray, away from the nurse, staring straight at nothing and taking large, shallow breaths. "My head. It hurts," he whispered. "It just, really hurts."
"I know Boss." Ray helped the nurse lay him back down. "Steady on."
Sam watched as she re-strapped his right wrist. "I-I...that. I didn’t mean it...I didn’t."
"Course you din’t."
Sam was so tired now. His eyelids fell easily. "...I didn’t." He was completely out.
Ray pulled his hand back from Sam’s arm. The nurse clearly wanted to talk with him, but before she could start Ray rushed out of the room. He locked himself in his car. It took a good five minutes for his hands to stop shaking enough for him to light a cigarette.
_________
Part 21