Fic: Steady As She Goes (25/86), Blue Cortina, dakfinv
Title: Steady As She Goes (25/86)
Author: dak
Word Count: 1392 this part; [45,507 overall]
Summary for Whole: After an accidental shooting at the station, Gene struggles to keep his team from tearing themselves apart.
Summary this Part: Dreams and realizations.
Rating: still Blue-ish Cortina, uhm, what's slightly darker than blue?
Warnings: angst, swearing, violence, violent imagery, minor drug use, mild sexual situations, self-harm for whole
Spoilers: 1.01; see each chapter for specific spoiler warnings
Pairing: mild Sam/Annie, Sam/Maya
Disclaimer: Belongs to BBC/Kudos
A/N: Sorry this part is so short, shortest of them all so far I think, but hopefully it'll be emotional enough to make up for the length.
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 29 Part 30 Part 31 Part 32 Part 33 Part 34 Part 35 Part 36 Part 37 Part 38 Part 39 Part 40 Part 41 Part 42 Part 43 Part 44 Part 45 Part 46 Part 47 Part 48 Part 49 Part 50 Part 51 Part 52 Part 53 Part 54 Part 55 Part 56 Part 57 Part 58 Part 59 Part 60 Part 61 Part 62 Part 63 Part 64 Part 65 Part 66 Part 67 Part 68 Part 69 Part 70 Part 71 Part 72 Part 73 Part 74 Part 75 Part 76 Part 77 Part 78 Part 79 Part 80 Part 81 Part 82 Part 83 Part 84 Part 85 Part 86
Annie tried to place her hand on Chris’ arm but he roughly pulled it away.
"Why wasn’t anyone goin’ to tell me?"
"The Guv said the less people who knew the better it would be. Ray only found out by accident, else he wouldn’t know."
Annie could see her words having no effect on her distraught friend. Chris only looked more slighted, more hurt.
"I’m not a div you know. Maybe about some things, but I’m not a complete div."
"I know."
"Then why’d you try to hide it?" Chris yelled.
Annie hugged her arms around her. The clear, Manchester evening was becoming chillier by the second. The gentle wind whipped her face, stinging her cheeks. She could go on, list a whole bundle of excuses for why they’d hadn’t told Chris about Sam’s...accident. Tell him it was because of his own shooting, because Sam didn’t want him to know, because there was no reason to tell anyone else. She settled on the truth.
"We shouldn’t have hid it. We should have told you. I’m sorry."
Chris dropped his head and stuffed his hands in his pockets. "Well...well you should be. I deserved to be told jus’ as much as anyone else." He kicked at an empty bottle rolling by his feet.
"I know."
Chris started to speak then stopped and kicked the bottle again. He wanted to ask, but he didn’t want to know. "Is he...is he alright? You know..." he motioned to his head, "...in the head, like?"
"I-I think so. He’s just confused. A little is all." She stepped closer. "He’s been through a lot, Chris. We just need to give him some time."
She tried to catch his eye, give him a reassuring smile, but Chris wouldn’t take his eyes off the broken bottle.
"I know about the other time." He spoke so softly Annie wasn’t sure he’d said anything at all.
"What?"
"When the Boss first got here. I’d just started off for the pub when that old bloke of yours--"
"Neil?"
"Yeah, ‘im. ‘E ran towards me, yellin’ ‘bout a copper on the roof. Thought he was just pissed." Chris shivered slightly in the cold and tightened his muscles. "Walked back to the station, not expecting anything, you know? Then I saw ‘im, DI Tyler, on the roof. Jus’-jus’ standin’ there like ‘e was queuing for the bank or summat." Chris sniffled and rubbed the back of his sleeve across his nose. "An’ I saw him step his foot out an’ I was certain ‘e was goin’ ta do it an’ there was nowt I could have done to stop ‘im...But then you talked to him, an’ I don’ know what you said, but you pulled him back from the ledge...An’ ‘e seemed alright after, so I never said anything ‘bout it."
Chris picked up his head and held Annie in his eyes, trying so hard to hold back his tears. "Can you pull ‘im back again, Annie?"
Annie dropped her purse and threw her arms around Chris. Chris responded, pulling his hands from his jacket pockets and hugging Annie tightly. "I’m going to try Chris. I’m going to try."
*
"Tell us what you know!" They all screamed.
"N-nothing. I-I don’t know anything!" How did he get here? What was going on? What did they want?
The three men, faces not just blank but non-existent, plain, smooth skin where eyes and noses and mouths should be, towered menacingly over him, their shadows criss-crossing over his bloody body. He tried to crawl away, but one of them kicked him over and stomped a heavy boot on his chest, pressing harder and harder.
"Tell us Sam," he hissed.
"We need to know," another whispered as he clamped his hands on Sam’s right arm.
"It’ll be easier if you do," said the third as he grabbed Sam’s left arm and tugged.
Sam cried out but the men only pressed down on him harder, paralyzing him.
"Why don’t you tell them the truth Sam?" The little girl weaved in between the men, one arm clutching her clown doll, the other hidden behind her back. "You always have to make things so difficult."
"I don’t know! I don’t know what they want me to say," he pleaded with her, believing she had the power to release him. She only shook her head and clicked her tongue.
"That’s the wrong answer Sam, but does no one else give a damn? Would you like to play again? After all I am your only friend."
The boot pressed into his chest. He could hear ribs cracking, lungs giving way. The girl leaned over him, analyzing him the way a student would their dissected frog. "One more chance. Just say it Sam."
"But..." Sam tried to think quickly. What did they want? What did the want? What did they want? "You’re right. You’re right! You are my only friend. You’ve always been my only friend. You’ll always be my only friend. Please. Please make them stop."
The girl sadly shook her head. "Oh Sam. I’m afraid that’s the wrong answer." She pulled out her hidden arm to reveal a small, glimmering piece of glass clutched in her tiny white hand.
Sam screamed as the sharp edge sliced open his struggling wrists. Suddenly he was free, no longer held down by the three, faceless men. He shot up, curling his arms against his body, trying to grab at his wrists. His whole body trembled violently as he screamed for her to stop. The more he tried to hold onto himself, the more he slipped away.
Then the arms were around him. Arms that weren’t pulling him apart or forcing him back down. These arms held him tightly. Just tightly enough to help still his shaking body. They rubbed his back up and down, helping him stop the screaming. Helping his breathing return to normal. They kept him grounded. They kept him alive.
Sam rested his head on the dark mass attached to those arms. He took deep breaths, letting sweat and silent tears stain the arms’ rumpled shirt.
"It’s over, Sam. It’s all over, now."
" ‘M scared Dad."
The arms stopped their comforting movement, but immediately restarted the motion when Sam’s shaking returned.
"Course you are," they said.
"They’re going to kill me. They want to kill me," Sam whispered between sobs.
"Not while I’m here they won’t."
Sam was exhausted and everything felt so safe and warm in those arms. The girl wouldn’t come. She wouldn’t come while his Dad was here to protect him. Safe in that thought Sam relented to his body’s request and was soon unconscious once again.
Certain Sam was sleeping, Gene gently laid him back on the bed, making sure the IV wasn’t tangled and his bandages were still in place. Sam had been tearing at the gauze on his wrists before Gene had grabbed him in his arms. As he stood over Tyler’s body, he frowned at the beads of sweat forming on the sick man’s brow.
A new nurse, one Gene hadn’t seen before, entered the room to check Sam’s condition.
"I don’t like that fever," Gene said without taking his eyes off Sam. "He shouldn’t have that fever."
The nurse picked up Sam’s chart and studied it carefully. "Hmm, says he’s been running a low-grade fever all day. But it looks like it’s increased every time his temperature’s been taken." She tapped her fingers on the edge of the chart. "I don’t like that. No, I don’t like that at all," the young woman tutted as she set the clipboard back down. "Could be a sign of infection. I’m going to get the doctor down here immediately."
"Dr. Jayne?" Gene snapped sarcastically.
"No. Dr. Moyer. He’s the one on duty."
"Good," Gene nodded as she left the room. He pat Sam’s arm. "Looks like you might finally be getting some real care, Tyler."
Sam muttered something in his sleep. Gene had never seen anyone looks so terrified while they slept. It wasn’t natural. Gene stared at him longer, almost believing Sam’s scared expression would disappear under his Guv’s hard gaze.
"Where is your dad Sammy? An’ your mum. Hm? They back in Hyde? Well, they should be here. They should be with their son, shouldn’t they?" Gene questioned him quietly, but Sam gave no answers.
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Part 26