So we have these fuckers knocking next door at all hours of the night… Sometimes I think they’re knocking on our door so I look out the peep hole... This woman was knocking on the neighbor’s door again… I’m watching her… She wasn’t homeless or poor… She had on an expensive leather outfit… She gets tired of knocking on the door… She takes a few ( Read more... )

The son of Elvis Presley and Lou Costello, Elvis Costello was born in Santiago de Chile no later than 1973. Famous for combining the superpowers of both parents (karate moves and slapstick humor), Elvis Costello soon became the mortal enemy of Jackie Chan. On the winter of 1962, Costello and Chan tripped into each other and a brawl started. Soon, ( Read more... )

Are you some kind of retarded snake oil salesman? What possessed your arrogant self-serving stunted brain to imagine that you could EVER possibly help another human? What institute of technology did you crawl out of and what kind of monkey trainer released you from obedience school and say you could be of ANY service to mankind other than scraping ( Read more... )

"I am honored by your support."

“If you want to win the election, just control the machines."

Charlie Matulk, Nebraska Senatorial Candidate

"The voters turned out in record numbers and delivered an historic victory."

"The software that runs many high-tech voting machines contains serious flaws that would allow voters to cast extra votes and ( Read more... )

Where are the happy people? All I see is sorrow and hopelessness… People sitting in their cars alone with sad expressions of despair… One person per car on an endless highway of pointless stupidity… The worker ant crawls to his cubical alone again… The company doesn’t want him talking to fellow employees because he might form a union… Socializing ( Read more... )

stunted brain ( Read more... )

I say just ignore the whole Middle East. They act like children and always want the entire world to hear their pain. I can understand both sides but who cares? They're all a bunch of screaming maniacs if you ask me. Israel and the whole Arab world. They’ve been fighting for thousands of years and they call the place the Holy Land? Give me a break. ( Read more... )

Where does natural gas come from? I know they say it comes from the ground somewhere below Alaska or Qatar… It’s supposed to be made up of 10 million year old dead fermented troglodytes and prehistoric sea ferns… It boggles my mind that there’s enough of this to go around… Don’t get me wrong… I hate my gas bill just as much as the next guy… Last ( Read more... )

Here's what you want. You want a guy who's in love with you BUT treats you like a whore sometimes. You want a guy who can make you laugh BUT he's got to be nice. He has to be able to fix things around the house AND also arrange flowers. He has to have money BUT he can't be a shallow materialist. He has to be responsible BUT also be an artist. He ( Read more... )

Let me see if I understand this correctly. John Hinckley shoots President Reagan and Jim Brady. He is found unable to stand trial by reason of insanity. Reagan cut federal funding for mental health services, forcing the mentally disabled into the street. Hinkley was unable to be released from a mental hospital due to his security risk. However, ( Read more... )