Gas Leak
Where does natural gas come from? I know they say it comes from the ground somewhere below Alaska or Qatar… It’s supposed to be made up of 10 million year old dead fermented troglodytes and prehistoric sea ferns… It boggles my mind that there’s enough of this to go around… Don’t get me wrong… I hate my gas bill just as much as the next guy… Last winter I had enough disconnection notices to start a small fire and heat my house for the whole winter…
It’s hard to imagine all those houses being heated by a non-renewable odorless gas… It’s supposed to be odorless when it comes out of the ground but they add a rotted egg smell to it so you know when your house is about to explode… I'm at my parent’s house visiting one night when we had a gas leak… It was three in the morning and I remember having this dream about an Easter egg hunt and all the eggs were three weeks old… I woke up and smelled this awful poisoned egg stench and realized we had a gas leak… My dad came down in his underwear shouting “We got a gas leak!” I grabbed my pants and ran outside… We’re all outside and my dad says we should call the Fire Department… But the phone is in the house so I held my breath to run inside and call 911… As I open the door my dad yells… “Take those socks off! The static electricity might spark an explosion!” I pull the socks off and toss them in the yard… I get to the phone and call the Fire Department screaming… “We got a gas leak!”
We’re all outside when the Fire truck pulls up… They had this electronic hand held gas meter to detect the gas to air ratio… They opened all the doors and windows and shut the gas off at the meter… They said there was more than enough to kill us all… We could have died in our sleep or exploded all over the neighborhood with my father’s house a charred rubble ignited by some kind of byproduct from 10 million year old decayed amoebas…