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numb
What the fuck is wrong with me. Why cant I be a normal fucking person? Ive been talking to this guy for months and because of that happened to me in the past, Im so scared to even meet him because I dont feel as though I am good enough for him, or anyone. Im literally so depressed right now I can barely see straight, all I keep thinking is I wish I ( Read more... ) -
ughhhhh
And here we go again. Suicidal thoughts are floating around in my head, and why you ask? because I think Ive chosen a career path that I hate. The older I get the worse my anxiety is getting and I cant stand to be around people. I'm a hairstylist, I'm around people on a daily basis, and I just hate them. They make me feel anxious, they make me feel ( Read more... ) -
ugh
I need some serious fucking help. I'm driving myself crazy. Nothing makes me happy anymore, and I mean absolutely nothing. I find myself just in an all time low. I cant sleep. I cant think about anything but stupid crazy thoughts. I feel like I'm back in high school and I'm losing my god damned mind. I've been cutting myself again. I havent done ( Read more... ) -
Summer time blues
I feel like all I do every time I update my journal is complain about my life and how shitty it is. My life is far from shitty compared to some people in the world. I like to bitch and moan about everything but when I sit there and really think about it. I haven't got it bad at all. I have a roof over my head, a great job, awesome friends ( ( Read more... ) -
fuck
I feel dead. I feel lifeless. Im miserable these days and I feel like I cant do anything about it. I cant even tell you the last time I had a real smile on my face. I hate feeling so fucked up in the head. I shouldn't feel like this. Relationships come and go, and with each one I feel more and more worthless, because I'm the one who gets left and ( Read more... ) -
Will I ever be okay again???
I cant even remember the last time I actually wrote something in here. Its been 10 forevers and my life has been on a crazy rollercoaster ride. I'm still working at the dreadful royal farms, and its not gotten any better since the last time I bitched about it. I go to cosmetology school full time now and I graduate sometime in October. I'm so proud ( Read more... ) -
love
Engaged and loving it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -
(Untitled)
Ok, so I haven't written anything in here for a year and 4 months. So so so much has gone on since my last entry. 3 days after my last entry, I met an amazing man. We fell in love really fast, and it was so great. He was from Buffalo, NY. A month after we met on gay.com he came to visit me, it was wonderful, he was everything I could have ( Read more... ) -
woop
Wow, was I right or what...I said it would probably be six months or so until I updated again and I was right 6 months and 1 day. I havent had a damn thing to update about, my life has just been so shitty and at a stand still. There was a short period of time where things were getting kind of spicy, but that faded out really quick.
I had met this ( Read more... ) -
Happy New Year
Well Happy Effin' New Year everyone. I havent updated in months obviously. My life has just been so blah over the past few months that there was seriously nothing to write about. Im still working at Royal Farms which is a joy in its own. SIKE! I really hate that place far more than I ever hated Walgreens. All I do all day is wait on asshole ( Read more... )