I feel so lonely lately, and so frustrated.
There are now four people who would, if I suggested it, be in a relationship with me.
Well, three and then one who I can never quite get my head around properly.

I don't know if I'm leading people on again or if they're just stubborn, or if part of life is being friends with people who end up liking you as ( Read more... )

....holy shit, she is beautiful.

....I'm coming to a surprisingly painful realization.
I really fucked up, or time just took its toll. I don't know what the case is but Lyle really, honestly is beyond giving a shit whether or not I exist at all. It's past being angry at me, being hurt, even wanting revenge or another chance at being my friend.
When he said he's developed an immunity ( Read more... )

Ergh, depression.
Well no.
Not exactly depression:
separation anxiety, intensified by tenfold and two score, multiplied by irritation, confusion, slight sadness and anguish due to miscommunications between friends, not to mention a bit of guilt also related to said miscommunication...
Add to that the bitchy way my sister's been acting and the constant ( Read more... )

 i was standing there at the counter.
there's this absolutely massive butcher knife that somehow ends up having to be washed every single night.
i was washing it.
and i ran my finger along the edge of the blade, real soft and slowlike. watched it flash. 
Then I heard a message on AIM and dropped it. Shrugged it off.

a few minutes later i found myself ( Read more... )

I am tired, menstrual and I smell like various household cleaners.
I'm also half naked because I slopped dirty water and mold all over my clothes so I have to wait for the washer to finish with my booksack, laptop case and cloth bag so I can dump all the other dirty clothing in and hop in the shower.
and there's still more chores to do, plus cooking.

( Read more... )

 there is a strange darkness developing inside my house ( Read more... )