today was chaotic. i worked eleven to six, so i went in there and to my shock it was sort of slow at first-- weird considering i expected the breakfast rush to have absolutely flooded the place, but i guess the so-called "severe weather" we're expected to have chased a lot of people off; i suited up and got a bit of a dressing down from mrs. debbi ( Read more... )

it's the first time in a while that i've wanted to press my hands into someone's skin and siphon away enough of their hurt to leave only what could help them grow.
it's not the first time in a while that i've had to face the knowledge that i can't.

white knight black tie.

it means almost nothing anymore to hear that i am angry about something. i'm almost always angry, by the looks of things; almost nothing pleases me, nothing satisfies me, nothing appeases me.
this of course is not the truth but it is accurate enough of the time to paint a rather nasty picture of the nature of myself and my temper to other people who ( Read more... )

a few days ago ravon and i were talking (yeah, i know right? rofl.) and with the usual irritatingly astute way she has she pointed out something that she noticed about me which i consider incredibly obvious but apparently nobody but she figured it out: that when something hurts me rather than either cry or say i'm hurt or whatever i just start ( Read more... )

First morning in the dorm again after sleeping here last night. It was a very, very deep sleep (I took a hot bath in which I actually lay down for once, and the water when I sat up was up to my breasts so it probably covered me up completely to the neck laying down; I'm still sleepy and don't remember XD), so I feel good and no headache on waking ( Read more... )

when I orgasm I feel incredibly angry.

i love smelling like soap or certain kinds of cologne or perfume or body sprays or aftershave, especially vanilla Body Fantasies (from Wal-Mart) and Cool Water by Davidoff which I would smell like all the time if I could, and Glow by J. Lo (not the Miami/whatever it's called version).

i search the face of every ( Read more... )

hopefully we're taking my suitcases to my dorm tomorrow so that all I need to bring with me when I go back is my blankets and mail boxes. maybe i can get her to take me by the post office as well.
i feel really odd; my skin is prickly in the crooks of my elbows and i'm sleepy, and my stomach feels odd. maybe i shouldn't have eaten ice cream today. i ( Read more... )

Okay, so. I've been friends with Brian for a year now. In that time we've laughed a lot, hung out a lot, etc.and had general good fun times together.
But the more I think about it, the more I realize that I would never honestly trust Brian with anything really, really important to me. None of my secrets, none of my problems, nothing like that, and ( Read more... )

after months of thinking about it and then suppressing it and then completely forgetting about it, Alex and i somehow stumbled onto the subject of This Past Summer. I feel the need to allot capital letters to it because in a way I guess it was slightly pivotal; it was a first for me in some ways and it was one of many in others.

I don't know.

( Read more... )

I went up to Mariah's room to hang out for a while today, and the entire time that I was there I found myself simply watching her-- studying the brown sugar shade of her skin and how her shirt was loose over the cleft of her breasts, the strange honey dark color of her eyes (not like Jew's, hers are lighter) , her high-pitched voice and the ( Read more... )