I feel helpless, sleeping infant
waiting for your return
are you ever coming home?*

Yet another song with yet another line that stabs me somewhere I can't protect.

*Anberlin: Hello Alone

THE HOUSE IS GETTING FIXED I MIGHT BE GOING HOME SOON I MIGHT BE GOING HOME I MIGHT BE GOING HOME

I'm cold and I have a cold, and I think I'm shrinking- the size sixteen jeans we bought because eighteen is finally too big and that I thought would be too tight are fucking falling off my hips every time I take a step. and I really mean off my hips. I might be in fourteen soon.
What a fucking trip. The second I stop caring about how much I weigh ( Read more... )

My house is darker than I have ever known darkness could be. It feels like a furnace inside ( Read more... )

today was cool in the morning. my mother told me stories of her job until i was nearly late for the bus. i rode to maroon 5 most of the way, then changed it before i could become tired of hearing Adam Levine sing his breakup sex. sometimes older is better ( Read more... )

I came out of the shower freshly scrubbed and feeling somewhat nice; I stood still for a long while and just let the water pound my back and neck and shoulders, didn't think about anything in particular. Just me and surging spray and ugly green tile, and very bad lighting.
I came out, splashed on some of my grandfather's aftershave again. Felt good ( Read more... )

 there is a strange darkness developing inside my house ( Read more... )

today is a flow day

easy
breezy
beautiful- 
though I am no cover girl.

two hours: school ended, I stayed outside at school waiting to see if Danielle would come. She didn't. 
for the next two hours: 
snapshot: me, iPod fitted, despite how the ear buds hurt my tiny ears so much, must have the music; camera clutched in hand, tilting, sliding, bending, me ( Read more... )

  I'm a little down right now, the way I always get when I'm bored. Paige just left, so I'm here till I bathe and pass out. But Lyle's not online and wasn't yesterday, either. To add to that I'm starting to feel that there's no reason for me to even have Mitzi's number anymore. She never answers the phone, never calls, and she's never online. The ( Read more... )

I'm tired. I'm sleepy. I'm also angry. I want my sister and her stupid friends out of my fucking house. I'm lonely.