-Yesterday I joined my family and relatives for Thanksgiving Lunch. It was the first time that I wore a dress(specifically the blue sundress that I wore for the museum in the summer) for any family, but I wanted to dress nice. It was fine though. I thought I looked alright, and no one made a positive or negative comment about my appearance except ( Read more... )

Last week, I decided to skim through a free but good dating site to see if anyone would be interested in replying or anything. I spent a few hours over a few days reading over profiles of girls who lived nearby and I felt would be a good match with me. I messaged a few of the girls that I thought were interesting, maybe shared common interests with ( Read more... )

I can't help but get a little envious when I read other young trans women who take hormones and experience the whole "constantly sore boobs". I never have experienced that like many of these women talk about, and I will admit it makes me feel like I was a little cheated a bit on my transition experience. Makes me feel less like a woman in a way. I ( Read more... )

The great debate: how do I better change my mind/mentality if my mind struggles with the fact that I am still seen as a male to myself and others if i am not careful in how i present it to those strangers ( Read more... )

Today is one of those days where I struggle to see myself as a girl and have doubt in my own identity. It is not that I do not want to see myself as a girl, but sometimes I just cannot see myself as a girl. I just sit there wondering how this ugly boy would ever be seen as a girl. Then I see all those physical flaws that reinforce why I think I am ( Read more... )

http://ohka15.livejournal.com/35110.html

This is kind of a continuation of this post. This morning I went through a lot of effort before I went to work in getting completely shaved with my foundation and concealer makeup on. I was wearing my most form fitting scrubs to work. I also took my new feminine jacket to wear too. I was interested in seeing ( Read more... )

I have my good days and my bad days. I went on a 8 mile jog this morning, and the last 5 miles of it, all I could think about is the little things I do or wear or show that allow me to pass at the moment. I realize if that one or two things are different, I would not pass at all ( Read more... )

With most of my coming outs going relatively well, work being informed about my transition, and I suppose you could say general passing in public (even though I get stared at occasionally I feel), I feel that I should be happier about it all than I actually am (maybe I am just depressed today though so maybe that is why I feel like that).
( Read more about why I feel this way if you wish )

I don't know what to do anymore. I am getting to the point in my transition that I will start living full-time, and I just can't find the courage or belief or optimism that it will be ok. It is pathetic that I still haven't gone out in public yet. It is pathetic that I can't feel comfortable in buying clothes by myself. It is pathetic that I can't ( Read more... )

"Expectation is the root of all heartache."
William Shakespeare