No...not the movie, lol, just me...

I have been sucked into the evil abyss that is Facebook... *hangs head in shame*

But despite that, I miss my lj, and I definitely miss my friends here!!!

Recently I've been feeling like I need to...talk to someone, even if it's just writing in a blog/journal.
I'm dealing with things with my teenage son that no amount ( Read more... )

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I know I bitch a lot about having gained weight, and I always struggle to get across just why it bothers me so much. I look at other "big" girls, and don't think they look gross or anything. But I've only just now realized how to verbalize it.

I don't want to look awkward anymore. I could live with being heavier, if it was proportionate to my height ( Read more... )

Sometimes, all the reasons I'm depressed seem to confront me at once, usually galvanized by a single, stinging moment, and it's all I can do not to take my own pathetic life then and there... I have just had such a moment, and I feel like I have no purpose anymore. I'll never be whole, and the hate towards me is never going to stop, ever.
I am ( Read more... )

There's a memorial television spot for Steve Irwin on I think History Channel. It's just a short montage with him talking throughout, and some quiet music, but damn if it doesn't make me well up every time I see it! I hadn't cried about his passing before seeing that. Sometimes I worry that I've lost the ability to properly empathize with others. I ( Read more... )

I'm depressed. (Yeah, I know, what else is new.)

Anyhoo, one of the quirky things I do when I'm down is, every six to eight months or so, I go to Catalogs.com or similar sites, and order an assload of free mail-order catalogues. Then, in the next few weeks, they start coming in the mail. It satisfies my urge to shop, since I pour over them, ( Read more... )

Very rarely does my day (or night) go as planned, and tonight is no exception. I'm not going to
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Dan has told me, insisted in fact, that if I want anything, to just ask him, and if he can afford it, it's mine. I've never really taken advantage of this. The last "expensive" thing he bought me, for no reason, was my chest tattoo, which was $100. That was a surprise, though, I didn't ask for it. That was in January. So I'm thinking of asking him ( Read more... )

I want to say thank-you for the hugs and gestures of friendship and well wishes that were left after my last post. It does help, and I do appreciate it!

I am still struggling with all my crazy emotions and sad feelings, but I guess every day is a new day, as cheesy as that sounds. Tomorrow I have a unit inspection, (all the co-op units are finally ( Read more... )

The night before court, which has to do with either evicting me, or reaching a settlement, I just started to bawl and bawl and bawl (much to Dan's chagrin) and I realized that the reason I feel heartsick when I think about having to move, is my kids. I raised my kids in that house. If I move, there will be no memories of them in the new place.  ( Read more... )