“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear. The brave may not live forever, but the cautious do not live at all. From now on you'll be traveling the road between who you think you are and who you can be. The key is to allow yourself to make the journey.”

I'm going to put this on a ( Read more... )

Today is my graduation day.  As I type this, my school is hosting their annual Graduation gala in Salt Lake City and one of my good friends is there, texting me.  She burst into tears when they announced my name, as did the former president of the school (who had a baby at the same time Abby was born).  I know they are proud of me but it seems so ( Read more... )

All week I've been carrying around my NRP textbook and index cards, and I'm usually able to read it for a few minutes but then I go into avoidance mode and they are easily put aside.  I am way too easily distracted and as a result, I don't feel prepared for tomorrow's course.  I have most of today to review, then I'll be going out of town for ( Read more... )

There's been so much talk in the media about H1N1; the deaths, the children at risk, it's scary and crazy-making.  All the pressure and propaganda reminds me of when I was pregnant with Charlotte; so much pressure to make a decision that would be based on fear rather than what my instincts tell me.  I thought that once Charlotte was safely born ( Read more... )

I talked with Jack last night and he told me that the previous day, Charlotte had slept through the night!  Maybe waking up for milkies will be a thing of the past when I get home.  She is certainly old enough to go without during the night, but I'll have a cup of water available for her if she's thirsty.  Jack says that Charlotte seems to be doing ( Read more... )

Wednesday night, Jack was gone from 2/3 am until about 4pm yesterday.  He was home for supper, slept for a couple of hours, held Charlotte while I bathed Julia, then went back to work just after 9 p.m.  I'm hoping he's home by 9 this morning ( Read more... )

It's 4 am and since I got up to pee and drink, the conversation with my doctor has been rattling around in my brain again.  I think of statements I wish I'd made, how unfairly I was treated, and how little respect she has for me.  Gets me angry and frustrated all over again.

No one wants us to lose another baby.  Everyone wants to believe that this ( Read more... )