So, I wrote a thing on spade_news after watching the entire secret video from the Mitt Romney donor dinner in Boca Raton.


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Sometimes I really think I should give myself more credit when it comes to my level of self control. While it's true that I generally am a very impulsive person, my impulses have been telling me to kill and burn for several hours and I have done neither yet. Success!


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Okay then. It's 4:30 p.m. and I'm exhausted. Why you ask?

Things Wot Shelby Has Done Today

• Woke early, went to Edward Jones to discuss 401K options, benefits, and budget. Guh. I don't know if anyone else gets this, but talking about money is one of my least favorite things to do. I'd honestly rather do laundry.
• Cleaned 2 litterboxes. Gagged ( Read more... )

Alright, I'll say it. I hate the Twilight series.Have I read it? No. I read a page -- a single page -- and could not make it through another paragraph because the writing is so catastrophically bad. I'm not anti-first person narration, so that's not the hangup. In fact, I really loved "You Don't Know Me" by David Klass, but I cannot abide starting ( Read more... )

Dear Ova Dramatique ( Read more... )

Hey there, Grandpa Douchebag.

You don't look like the kind of guy who understands the function of the coffee shop. I say this because you walked in eating donuts from another establishment, and then plopped your three children directly next to the girl with a laptop who is clearly working on something, instead of occupying one of the totally ( Read more... )

Yes, folks. Satan's election is now finished, the results are being tabulated, and I have no doubt this cabal of cacophonic, quibbling congresspeople will help usher in the apocalypse in a timely fashion. Here's looking at you, 12-21-2012.

*raises glass* Cheers.


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Ok, EXPRESS.

I know you're supposed to be all hip and trendy, but the cords "Camel" and "couture" do not belong together. Tan-colored mammals with hairy humps that live in deserts and spit on passerby are never going to become the latest "it" thing. Similarly, the baby-poop brown color that is known as camel cloth will never be the new black, nor ( Read more... )