Chapter Nineteen

[merrymelody]

The Lion and the Serpent

Useless Fact: This is the chapter I read first when I got my copy, purely on the basis of the title.

Comments

[sistermagpie]

Heh. I love Hermione’s dialogue. So natural.

*snicker* I guess it makes sense that only a Muggleborn who studied this stuff would know what those numbers meant, since I'm sure most Purebloods don't even notice them, but still...pretty clearly a little bit of LOOK HOW WELL THIS WORLD IS BUILT here! It's funny to imagine a Muggle equivalent: "See these numbers here? Usually that's just the plate serial number indicating the serial number of the plate from which a note was printed..."

"Oh yes, of course. Everyone knows that, but thank you for reminding me."

And yYes, I did have to look that up myself.

To be fair, we never see any reaction from Snape when “odd things ke(ep) happening” to Slytherin students, such as being hexed with “horrible skin complaints” and having to miss class thanks to “growing antlers”. Although I doubt too many readers remember that Snape's never shown making a fuss in other places later in the book, even when his "favorite" pupils appear to be getting smacked down right and left. Actually, I wonder if

[merrymelody]

"See these numbers here? Usually that's just the plate serial number indicating the serial number of the plate from which a note was printed..."

Heheheheh.

Is it just the three of them or is it just that some Slytherins don't rise for Harry and they're included?

'Many others', apparently. Oops.
Which often gets confused with not rising for Cedric. (Which I don't recall the Slytherin reaction being observed beyond 'muttering', which provoked HARRY'S ANGER11!!! GRR!11 ;)

From now on this will be code for everytime a Gryffindor, especially Harry, says something lame and everybody laughs like it's very witty.

I claim 'git', 'hem hem' and that faux-funny bit at the end about how you'd think he'd stop walking around. (That actually did make me laugh, but not in the spirit intended, I don't think ;)

Draco's always at his most evil when he's found an actual sore spot in someone apart from Harry or Hermione

Of course. They don't have any. Their chivalrous anger is only aroused by attacks on others, like Hagrid or Lily.

Although I

[sistermagpie]

*con't*

How could you possibly ban someone from a lifetime of playing sport?

The thing is, it's probably not that out of the ordinary to have a ban like that at least for your school career in our world. I'm thinking, for instance, of the movie The Great Santini when the kid beats up another player and is immediately kicked off the team, even though the kid was fouling him throughout the game.

In fact, the only reason for her not to, given how evilly she's been portrayed so far, is contrivance, so that JKR doesn't have to write Gryffindor losing.

Here I'll just preview the confession I'm going to be making later on, that the first time I read the book I thought Gryffindor did lose. That's how dumb I am.

Ew, gross! I hope he gets brain damage in a later chapter! He deserves it for being so heavyset.

LOL!

Could you remind your audience how fat, ugly, stupid and mean the Slytherins are again, please, Jo? I think I missed the first ninety-six references. I notice they also have "new beaters bats." Is that supposed to remind

[merrymelody]

I'm thinking, for instance, of the movie The Great Santini when the kid beats up another player and is immediately kicked off the team, even though the kid was fouling him throughout the game.

Heh. I would actually agree with someone being kicked off a team for that. I have strict views ;)

Here I'll just preview the confession I'm going to be making later on, that the first time I read the book I thought Gryffindor did lose. That's how dumb I am.

Maybe JKR thought she'd have to do that, which is what famously made her cry writing OotP.
I hoped they would - OMG, I can't believe they could survive with Harry!!1
Maybe next time. (You know that Year Seven is reserved for their Last Triumph. Although someone wrote a fic in which the big, end of year, House Cup went to Slytherin, thus breaking - ta da, a seven year losing streak. It'd be nice if all the houses were abandoned and in anarchy by then, but I could live with that. Not that it'll happen!)

I notice they also have "new beaters bats." Is that supposed to remind us that the

You don't half write long summaries :O

[jollityfarm]

He can just show his Patronus to his examiners and get extra marks! (Or as he predicts himself, an ‘Outstanding’ in his OWL.)

"Hey...wanna see my patronus?" *unzips flies*

It's amazing the way that works out, isn't it?

Heh. I love Hermione’s dialogue. So natural.

It demonstrates the precise problems with using certain characters as endless sources of clever. Hermione sounds less like a human being an more like the soulless automaton we all know she is. And by "we all", I mean "you and me".

Even though Rowling has more or less admitted that Hermione is her self-insert, I wonder if she ever comes out with stuff that sounds like she memorised it out of a book.

Also, presuming that the nearest equivalent to an OWL is a GCSE and a NEWT equals roughly an A-Level, Hermione isn’t necessarily a genius. And even if achieving a NEWT standard meant exceptional skill, it wouldn’t follow that skill = brains.Plenty of people at GCSE level can grasp things taught to A-Level students. I could in some subjects, but I'm nothing spectacular.

Part two, because your summary is so huge!

[jollityfarm]

(Well, it’s probably not a delusion. I’m sure Ginny or Harry could give them a run for their money. Sues are talented like that.)

I can now imagine a scenario in which the Gryffindor team is for some reason playing some big international side and apparently getting roundly thrashed. Harry despairs and is consumed by woe until he looks up into the stands and, amongst all the faces booing him, he sees the face of his true love mouthing "I love you". Suddenly he has the morale to Go Out There and PLAY LIKE HE'S NEVER PLAYED BEFORE!!! It's all part of the Code. Or is it the Rules? Anyway, happens all the time.

BWHAHAHA. Wait a second. That’s not really that funny.

I see TV shows and hear things on the radio where this happens and it really pisses me off. I hold comedy in quite high esteem and I feel that if you want to get a laugh out of me, you've got to work for it. I'm not going to laugh just because you want me to, you speccy little toss. Anyway, if Hermione finds this teh_funneh, how can it be true comedy? Hermione hates fun.

I’m

Re: Part two, because your summary is so huge!

[merrymelody]

I feel that if you want to get a laugh out of me, you've got to work for it. I'm not going to laugh just because you want me to, you speccy little toss.

Seriously. It's like JKR's prodding the audience 'Look! Laugh! Pansy/Draco/Zacharias/Umbridge looks stupid and is gawping! The Trio thinks it's funny!' rather than, oh I don't know, just writing a half-way decent gag. Mind you, I'm suspicious of anyone who finds the twins witty, which appears to be the intent of JKR when writing them.

Anyway, if Hermione finds this teh_funneh, how can it be true comedy? Hermione hates fun.

Heh. Does Hermione ever even make any jokes herself? I can only remember about two, both at people's expense, neither wildly funny.

I am always amazed at people who insist Ginny is "friends" with Luna and ever so kind to her, when all I saw was Ginny taking the piss and laughing at her behind her back. Nevertheless, Ginny is so good to occasionally regard the physical presence of someone so unworthy.How heroic! Like the way everyone treats Neville - occasional

Re: Part two, because your summary is so huge!

[jollityfarm]

It's like JKR's prodding the audience 'Look! Laugh! Pansy/Draco/Zacharias/Umbridge looks stupid and is gawping! The Trio thinks it's funny!' rather than, oh I don't know, just writing a half-way decent gag.

Oh yes. Mind you, I feel that about a lot of things. One of the reasons I never really got into Friends was that whenever a mildly funny joke was made, there was an atmosphere of "Hey, we made a joke!" I don't much like laughter tracks on things, especially since they tend to drown out the actual punchline anyway - and it's very offputting to be told when to laugh.

Mind you, as I've said elsewhere, people tend to believe what they read. So if we're told Ginny or whoever is very funny, they'll tend to remember her as such.

occasional mockery combined with pity and a desire not to be around them in front of 'cool' kids.I know I "should" like Neville, but he's so damn wet. Surely he's not so dense that he can't realise that Harry despises him (also, how long do you think it'll be before Harry tells him about the prophesy, of which

[lady_alatariel_]

But Ron had never endured a relentless campaign of insults, jeers and intimidation.
And also? Doesn't he have older brothers? Two of whom are Fred and George? Right...he's never had to put up with anything like that!

Didn't Wood and Flint try and crush each others? Squish back, Angelina! (I thought she was all about girl power?)
That would then be going down to the level of your enemies! Which is not something a Gryff would ever do! They're above that! Except for when they're not

Malfoy's arm extended too, was reaching, groping…
It was over in two breathless, desperate, windswept seconds -
Another example of "Teh Straight"...

They're allowed wands on the pitch?
Maybe Harry keeps his around in case more dementors show up. I think thats when he first started carrying his, or at least it was important that he had it.
Also, they probably sleep with their wands under their pillows ;)

And Ron? I mean, I’m glad Ron wasn’t involved, since I don’t need to loathe another character on top of the ever-growing list, but isn’t it a bit

[merrymelody]

And also? Doesn't he have older brothers? Two of whom are Fred and George? Right...he's never had to put up with anything like that!

Fred and George could never approach the cruelty and Machiavellian cunning of mean whispers and rude taunts. They do bold, upfront things to their sibling like turning toys into spiders or burning holes in their mouths.

That would then be going down to the level of your enemies! Which is not something a Gryff would ever do! They're above that! Except for when they're not.

Hee! Even when they're not, it's only because they're "provoked". Poor Gryffs.

Malfoy's arm extended too, was reaching, groping…
It was over in two breathless, desperate, windswept seconds -
Another example of "Teh Straight"...

Heh! Two seconds? Oh well, they're young. ;)

Maybe Harry keeps his around in case more dementors show up. I think thats when he first started carrying his, or at least it was important that he had it.Heh. I wouldn't be surprised if Harry was the only one allowed a wand at all, because of Special

*de-lurks a bit*

[guza]

she and Hermione were sitting on either side of Harry.

Heh. Because whiny tortured and unfairly treated marked-men always need motherly nurturing and emotional support from girls. That's why when they find a girl that they like, it's a bonus if she's exactly like their mother.

Ginny can be the light of his life, and help him work through his various issues (while also not expecting any help or support, or even fairness from him), which is why they will end up together. Ginny will be happy just doing everything for Harry's benefit. That's the way it should be.

'Crabbe and Goyle are in the same mould,' Harry assured her.That, and other related quotes, make me think that something will happen with Crabbe and Goyle sometime soon, and that no one will be expecting it. She seems to really hit us over the head with how stupid and trollish they are at least a hundred times in every book, and I don't really see the point of that, unless she's doing it to divert our attention from something. Against my better judgement, I really hope she

Re: *de-lurks a bit*

[guza]

Sorry about this next thing, but I really can't seem to stop hating H/G.

The thing about Ginny I mentioned above also reminds me of one of the previous thread titles for Orange Crush at FAP - "A Potter Prince and his Weasley Wench".

Re: *de-lurks a bit*

[kysen_ramses]

Just a bit of a detour here, to ask a question.

I assume that Orange Crush is the name for the Harry/Ginny pairing. What is up with these bizarre names for all the het pairings? Granted, I read pretty much no het, but still...people throw these names around and I have no idea what anyone's talking about. Is there a master list somewhere?

I suppose I have no room to talk, as slash has such gem names as Snarry, Snupin, Snack, and Snaco. *g*

Thanks. :-D

Re: *de-lurks a bit*

[merrymelody]

I don't know of a masterlist, but the names come from fictionalley.org's forum, which has nicknames for all the ships:
http://www.fictionalley.org/fictionalleypark/forums/forumdisplay.php?s=d7735f9279a0fe6015b709c03a4c6f7a&forumid=36

And the slash names are as stupid as the het, there.
Neville/Harry is Woobies of Destiny, Harry/Draco is Guns and Handcuffs, Snape/Dean of all things is An Artist's Touch.
Mind you, hetwise, there's: R/Hr with the rather biased 'Good Ship', Fire and Ice, the weird H/Hr: Pumpkin Pie and competition for the H/D most fanonical nickname is D/Hr with 'Leather and Libraries' (poor Draco and Snape. Their names keep getting connected with weirdness like Snarry, Snack and leather pants.)
And Snape/Lily has a great one: SS. Cliched.