Comments | the_snarkery: Chapter Nineteen

merrymelody in the_snarkery

Chapter Nineteen

Jan 16, 2005 12:02

The Lion and the Serpent

Useless Fact: This is the chapter I read first when I got my copy, purely on the basis of the title.

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You don't half write long summaries :O jollityfarm January 16 2005, 19:39:16 UTC

He can just show his Patronus to his examiners and get extra marks! (Or as he predicts himself, an ‘Outstanding’ in his OWL.)

"Hey...wanna see my patronus?" *unzips flies*

It's amazing the way that works out, isn't it?

Heh. I love Hermione’s dialogue. So natural.

It demonstrates the precise problems with using certain characters as endless sources of clever. Hermione sounds less like a human being an more like the soulless automaton we all know she is. And by "we all", I mean "you and me".

Even though Rowling has more or less admitted that Hermione is her self-insert, I wonder if she ever comes out with stuff that sounds like she memorised it out of a book.

Also, presuming that the nearest equivalent to an OWL is a GCSE and a NEWT equals roughly an A-Level, Hermione isn’t necessarily a genius. And even if achieving a NEWT standard meant exceptional skill, it wouldn’t follow that skill = brains.Plenty of people at GCSE level can grasp things taught to A-Level students. I could in some subjects, but I'm nothing spectacular. ( ... )

Part two, because your summary is so huge! jollityfarm January 16 2005, 20:04:34 UTC

(Well, it’s probably not a delusion. I’m sure Ginny or Harry could give them a run for their money. Sues are talented like that.)

I can now imagine a scenario in which the Gryffindor team is for some reason playing some big international side and apparently getting roundly thrashed. Harry despairs and is consumed by woe until he looks up into the stands and, amongst all the faces booing him, he sees the face of his true love mouthing "I love you". Suddenly he has the morale to Go Out There and PLAY LIKE HE'S NEVER PLAYED BEFORE!!! It's all part of the Code. Or is it the Rules? Anyway, happens all the time.

BWHAHAHA. Wait a second. That’s not really that funny.

I see TV shows and hear things on the radio where this happens and it really pisses me off. I hold comedy in quite high esteem and I feel that if you want to get a laugh out of me, you've got to work for it. I'm not going to laugh just because you want me to, you speccy little toss. Anyway, if Hermione finds this teh_funneh, how can it be true comedy? Hermione hates fun.

I’m ( ... )

Re: Part two, because your summary is so huge! merrymelody January 17 2005, 12:41:04 UTC

I feel that if you want to get a laugh out of me, you've got to work for it. I'm not going to laugh just because you want me to, you speccy little toss.

Seriously. It's like JKR's prodding the audience 'Look! Laugh! Pansy/Draco/Zacharias/Umbridge looks stupid and is gawping! The Trio thinks it's funny!' rather than, oh I don't know, just writing a half-way decent gag. Mind you, I'm suspicious of anyone who finds the twins witty, which appears to be the intent of JKR when writing them.

Anyway, if Hermione finds this teh_funneh, how can it be true comedy? Hermione hates fun.

Heh. Does Hermione ever even make any jokes herself? I can only remember about two, both at people's expense, neither wildly funny.

I am always amazed at people who insist Ginny is "friends" with Luna and ever so kind to her, when all I saw was Ginny taking the piss and laughing at her behind her back. Nevertheless, Ginny is so good to occasionally regard the physical presence of someone so unworthy.How heroic! Like the way everyone treats Neville - occasional ( ... )

Re: Part two, because your summary is so huge! jollityfarm January 17 2005, 15:54:41 UTC

It's like JKR's prodding the audience 'Look! Laugh! Pansy/Draco/Zacharias/Umbridge looks stupid and is gawping! The Trio thinks it's funny!' rather than, oh I don't know, just writing a half-way decent gag.

Oh yes. Mind you, I feel that about a lot of things. One of the reasons I never really got into Friends was that whenever a mildly funny joke was made, there was an atmosphere of "Hey, we made a joke!" I don't much like laughter tracks on things, especially since they tend to drown out the actual punchline anyway - and it's very offputting to be told when to laugh.

Mind you, as I've said elsewhere, people tend to believe what they read. So if we're told Ginny or whoever is very funny, they'll tend to remember her as such.

occasional mockery combined with pity and a desire not to be around them in front of 'cool' kids.I know I "should" like Neville, but he's so damn wet. Surely he's not so dense that he can't realise that Harry despises him (also, how long do you think it'll be before Harry tells him about the prophesy, of which ( ... )

Re: Part two, because your summary is so huge! merrymelody January 17 2005, 16:09:05 UTC

Heh. My sister watches a lot of laughter track programmes, and I always like to join in. After a while, you realise how ever-present they are, and apparently, it's quite irritating ( ... )

Re: Part two, because your summary is so huge! jollityfarm January 17 2005, 16:29:24 UTC

If Neville weren't so obviously being put foreward (as is Hagrid) as "Isn't he sweet and charming?" I might like him better. I mean, people like to complain that Neville is being OMG bullied by Professor Snape, which he is, but what on earth is up with him wibbling with terror five years on? Professor Snape has done nothing to him at all besides look menacing - surely he'd have worked that out by now and got angry anstead of going "gulp" every time Professor Snape looks at him. Not that he isn't going to get an "O" for Potions, because all he really needed was confidence. Blah ( ... )

hagrid rant ahead merrymelody January 17 2005, 16:49:45 UTC

Well, exactly. If Hagrid was acknowledged as a bit of a screw-up, but a nice guy; fine. It's the whole 'OMG Hagrid never ever does anything wrong, and if he does, it's someone else's fault, don't you loooooove him?' Plus I get the feeling he's supposed to be endearing in his fondness for the drink and lack of self-confidence, rather than repulsive. I mean, look at fanon - it's not canon, obviously, but it's reflective of it. Where are all the Hagrid fans? Nowhere. Why? Because even with a zillion different viewpoints and bitter rows over everything else, there's only one sure thing in the HP fandom. Everyone hates Hagrid. I can literally think of one fan of his. One. When there are people fangirling death eaters. That's how loathsome he is ( ... )

Re: hagrid rant ahead jollityfarm January 17 2005, 19:33:55 UTC

Even though I haven't asked him, I'd be willing to bet my stepdad adores Hagrid. Mind you, he's got no taste whatsoever. But I can't think of anyone in the actual fandom who <3 Hagrid above other more popular characters. Not that I'd be reading their journals much if I did ( ... )

Re: hagrid rant ahead merrymelody January 17 2005, 20:39:48 UTC

Heh. My mum likes Hagrid. But only because she fancies Robbie Coltrane (that's not a JKR style assumption, either, she admitted it ;)

I thought the direction was, um...showy? Pretentious? Like, ooh, look at me, I can do a closeup into SOMEONE'S EYE. Wow. I've never seen such an amazing technique before. Watch, as the Knight Bus appears to fold (that was a really, really, really cheap looking effect.) Marvel as I include homages....to ME! And make every single character dislikeable (Kloves/Cuaron/JKR - theirloveissoselfcongratulatory) Plot? Characterization? These things are unimportant next to the kicky pink hoody and showcasing Daniel Radcliffe's attempts at crying!

Re: Part two, because your summary is so huge! sistermagpie January 17 2005, 18:01:26 UTC

The thing I don't like about Neville is a) that he's so "good for you" in his presentation--if you're a good person you want to protect him because everything scares him so he's so brave, etc ( ... )

Re: Part two, because your summary is so huge! go_back_chief January 17 2005, 19:38:55 UTC

b) that it was unhealthy for two outcasts to get together because that would imply they didn't mind being outcasts.

I must say that's not the way I read it at all, rather I thought what she was doing was generalising the motives of N/L-shippers, much like she generalised the motives of D/Hr-shippers ("they only want Draco and Hermione to get together because Tom Felton is pretty and girls usually go for 'bad boys' before they have acquired the wisdom and experience I have"), when she sunk that ship. And her assumption of the N/L-shippers' motivation was that they didn't want Neville and Luna together because they honestly thought they were suited, or because they love each other (which we now know they never will in Canon), but because they thought "everyone must necessarily be paired up", and "no one who is NOT a geek could ever possibly love Neville or Luna, so they better fall in love with each other, because that's the only chance they could ever get ( ... )

Re: Part two, because your summary is so huge! sistermagpie January 17 2005, 19:56:08 UTC

That, at least, is something I can get behind--the idea that just because Neville and Luna both seem like geeks doesn't mean they can't expect to do "any better" than each other--though it's unfair to assume that everybody assumes that's what anybody interested in the ship thinks. I mean, I could come up with perfectly valid reasons for them to like each other that have nothing to do with that, actually. That Neville is freaked out by Luna at first is good because her dottiness could show him that you don't have to try to fit in, that it's okay to be different. And they both could be the only people who see no reason to get back at people who pick on them, not to mention they have the same bonding issue that supposedly makes Luna/Harry so important--they both have dealt with death.

But yeah, that's exactly what I don't like about Neville, that his own strengths aren't good enough so he better develop some kung fu double quick. Then we can have Hero!Harry, Second!Hero!Neville and Coming!Up!A!Distant!Third!Sidekick!Ron.

Re: Part two, because your summary is so huge! go_back_chief January 17 2005, 20:13:12 UTC

I, for one, have no doubt that shippers behind any ship can have perfectly valid reasons to ship them -whether I'd agree with them or not- even if it's ships I personally don't see the appeal in. Andd that's why it's always annoying when someone is putting words into shippers mouths, telling them why they like it, rather than listening. It's no less annoying when the author does so herself.

Re: Part two, because your summary is so huge! merrymelody January 17 2005, 20:52:48 UTC

Seriously. What's wrong with Neville who likes Herbology and avoids conflict if possible?
Why does he have to be good at the subjects Harry deems best, like DADA, and 'prove' that he belongs in Gryffindor by fighting. Why can't it just be that he's brave because he has a rough time of it and doesn't whine (unlike other characters who shall remain nameless, lest I be accused of not having proper respect for Harry, the Only Boy with Hormones in the world...Oops.) and works hard?

Re: Part two, because your summary is so huge! merrymelody January 17 2005, 21:15:37 UTC

Hee! I like that story.
And now I'm curious as to whether any Neville/Cho exists. I know Invisible to See had a little.

Re: Part two, because your summary is so huge! jollityfarm January 17 2005, 19:47:03 UTC

The idea that people should be pathetically grateful for any wincy scraps of patronising praise or pseudo-comfort afforded them by more popular, better individuals instead of feeling objectified or patronised is one of the more repulsive ideas the series has managed to spring. Looking at these summaries and realising what a crock of shit the supposed "niceness" of the trio is, I'm not sure I'm going to be able to stop myself from wailing "You tell the bitch!!!" during the "mudblood" bit in the Pensieve scene. I would do the same today if someone spoke to me like that. Mind you, I hate Lily for having been obviously such a bitch in her younger days ( ... )

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