Chapter Nineteen
The Lion and the Serpent
Useless Fact: This is the chapter I read first when I got my copy, purely on the basis of the title.
* …whenever he was supposed to be reading Wilbert Slinkhard's book during her lessons, he dwelled instead on satisfying memories of their most recent meetings, remembering how Neville had successfully disarmed Hermione
Fo’ real? I guess all Neville needed was a good teacher, attention and confidence. *after school special theme plays*
And luckily Harry’s not paying attention to his lesson won’t disadvantage him in any way, as it might a normal person. He can just show his Patronus to his examiners and get extra marks! (Or as he predicts himself, an ‘Outstanding’ in his OWL.)
* Hermione soon devised a very clever method of communicating the time and date of the next meeting…because it would look suspicious if people from different Houses were seen crossing the Great Hall to talk to each other too often.
Oh yes. Before you know it, there’d be intra-house interaction, the school working as one, peace and love all round. *shudders*
Since it’s presumably Umbridge whose suspicions would be aroused by ‘too (much)’ talking between houses, I guess we have a juxtaposition here between her views and Dumbledore’s, who encourages unification (in words if not actions); and the hat.
Interesting that this is another example of the students actually being comfortable with Umbridge’s methods - although they wish to interact with members of their own group, they have no ideological conflict with segregation and actually Umbridge inadvertently apes their methods - they have representatives of all but one house in the DA, she has members of only one house as her Inquisitorial Squad. I imagine if asked to consider say, Gryffindors, her reaction would be: “Fat chance.”
And the narrative’s description of Hermione’s method is, at present, positive. Huh. I’m going to go into this later, but the narration of the HP books in general is quite confusing, imho.
* She gave each of the members of the DA a fake Galleon (Ron became very excited when he first saw the basket and was convinced she was actually giving out gold).
Ron’s not winning any prizes for pride this chapter, what with the “mournful” self-pity over being poor, and needing Harry to feed him and lead him to the Quidditch pitch, and Alicia to dress him. I guess now Neville’s learnt how to curse people and thus win his housemates’ approval, the Gryffindors now need someone to pity and patronise.
* 'You see the numerals around the edge of the coins?…On real Galleons that's just a serial number referring to the goblin who cast the coin.’
Heh. I love Hermione’s dialogue. So natural.
* 'You can do a Protean Charm?' said Terry Boot…'But that's…that's NEWT standard, that is,' he said weakly.
'Oh,' said Hermione, trying to look modest. 'Oh ... well ... yes, I suppose it is.'
'How come you're not in Ravenclaw?' he demanded, staring at Hermione with something close to wonder. 'With brains like yours?'
As Harry and Hermione’s achievements mount, they’re slowly losing the battle to appear humble and self-effacing. ;)
And Terry continues the Ravenclaw mackage on Hermione.
Heh, like Gryffindor, his house appears to have a high opinion of themselves and their traits.
Quite odd, since the overall impression gleaned from the books is that the culture encourages attitudes and values most similiar to the Gryffindor way of thinking, which would mean children consciously or unconsciously respecting the members of that house above all others and perhaps even wanting to be more like those themselves, which I think bears out with the behaviour of both Slytherin and Hufflepuff houses.
I guess Ravenclaws, Terry not withstanding, are more individualistic, as smart people should be.
Also, presuming that the nearest equivalent to an OWL is a GCSE and a NEWT equals roughly an A-Level, Hermione isn’t necessarily a genius. And even if achieving a NEWT standard meant exceptional skill, it wouldn’t follow that skill = brains.
Look at Harry - his skills in DADA are presumably surpassing even NEWTs, yet I don’t think anyone would describe him as brilliantly intelligent. Of course, the standard of intelligence in the HP novels is directly contrasted to my own opinions, so there we are - I see lots of respect for practical work (boo theory!) but very little imagination or actual thirst for knowledge.
* 'Well, the Sorting Hat did seriously consider putting me in Ravenclaw during my Sorting,' said Hermione brightly, ‘but it decided on Gryffindor in the end.'
Aw. How cool for the people who got consideration for more than one house. I guess that makes them twice as good as everyone else.
And why is this the first we’ve heard of this? Especially since there’s no mention of any pause in Sorting in PS? Did Hermione get any say whatsoever? (I’ve never seen any evidence that the hat doesn’t merely put everyone in the house they want to go in, myself.)
I wonder if this will eventually prompt Harry to reveal the Horrible Secret about his own, only to be reassured by his friends that it doesn’t matter?
* 'You know what these remind me of?'
'No, what's that?'
‘The Death Eaters' scars. Voldemort touches one of them, and all their scars burn, and they know they've got to join him.'
'Well…yes,' said Hermione quietly, 'that is where I got the idea…’
Alarm bells ringing, anyone?
* …‘but you'll notice I decided to engrave the date on bits of metal rather than on our members' skin.'
'Yeah…I prefer your way,' said Harry, grinning, as he slipped his Galleon into his pocket.
Oh yes, me too. Instead of engraving the date on people’s skin, she marks out words. That’s much better and totally different!
And of course, Harry prefers her way. He’s nice and non-violent like that. Except when he finds out how similar it actually is to the Death Eaters’ method, when his reaction is: “brilliant”.
* the Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs were taking a lively interest in the outcome, for they, of course, would be playing both teams over the coming year
One would think they’d be rooting for Slytherin, since that team is apparently inferior to Gryffindor and thus would be easier for them to beat. Although I guess if they have to play both…
* …and the Heads of House of the competing teams, though they attempted to disguise it under a decent pretence of sportsmanship, were determined to see their own side victorious.
It’s refreshing to see that both McGonagall and Snape are presented as biased in this chapter.
* Harry realised how much Professor McGonagall cared about beating Slytherin when she abstained from giving them homework in the week leading up to the match.
'I think you've got enough to be getting on with at the moment,' she said loftily.
Nobody could quite believe their ears until she looked directly at Harry and Ron and said grimly, 'I've become accustomed to seeing the Quidditch Cup in my study, boys, and I really don't want to have to hand it over to Professor Snape, so use the extra time to practise, won't you?'
I wonder if she required no homework from all her classes, in the interests of fairness?
Or even all her students in Harry and Ron’s particular group, or just them?
And isn’t it obvious how much McGonagall cares about “beating Slytherin” (I love that phrase. Not “her own team winning” but the opposition losing.) by um…her buying Harry a top-of-the-line broomstick in his first year? How about the pep talks she gave in PoA that was almost identical to this? For future evidence, how about her points shift at the end of OotP?
I love how because McGonagall, unlike Dumbledore, makes an extremely lame attempt to appear impartial, Harry takes this as her not preferring him at all, and thus being a hard ass.
* Snape was no less obviously partisan; he had booked the Quidditch pitch for Slytherin practice so often that the Gryffindors had difficulty getting on it to play.
Heh. What I also love is with this massive pitch, no-one ever just shares it. (Although, iirc, Flint suggested this in CoS. I miss Flint.)
* He was also turning a deaf ear to the many reports of Slytherin attempts to hex Gryffindor players in the corridors.
To be fair, we never see any reaction from Snape when “odd things ke(ep) happening” to Slytherin students, such as being hexed with “horrible skin complaints” and having to miss class thanks to “growing antlers”.
Or of course, any reaction when the Slytherins are injured by faculty members, or by classmates on school transport facilities.
He’s not exactly hands-on or nurturing of anybody, that we know of.
* When Alicia Spinnet turned up in the hospital wing with her eyebrows growing so thick and fast they obscured her vision and obstructed her mouth, Snape insisted that she must have attempted a Hairthickening Charm on herself and refused to listen to the fourteen eye-witnesses who insisted they had seen the Slytherin Keeper, Miles Bletchley, hit her from behind with a jinx while she worked in the library.
Oooh! From behind! That is so low! Next thing you know, he’ll be outnumbering first, then attacking; or jinxing younger students.
I wonder what house the fourteen eye-witnesses were in.
* Harry felt optimistic about Gryffindor's chances; they had, after all, never lost to Malfoy's team.
Yet. (You see, I, too, am optimistic. Stupidly so!)
* …the rest of the team felt this save compared favourably with one made recently by Barry Ryan, the Irish International Keeper, against Poland's top Chaser, Ladislaw Zamojski.
Huh? I don’t quite get the point of this sentence. The Gryffindors are so deluded they think they’re already International standard? (Well, it’s probably not a delusion. I’m sure Ginny or Harry could give them a run for their money. Sues are talented like that.) Exposition? Background?
* The only thing really worrying Harry was how much Ron was allowing the tactics of the Slytherin team to upset him before they even got on to the pitch.
Harry, of course, had endured their snide comments for over four years, so whispers of, 'Hey, Potty, I heard Warrington's sworn to knock you off your broom on Saturday', far from chilling his blood, made him laugh.
Stupid Slytherins and their non-game tactics.
The Gryffindors rely on skill alone! (And having the best possible equipment, and having exceptions made for them to be on the team at all, and educational standards waived once they are.)
Of course, Harry would never be upset by that kind of thing, since he's suffered four long, hard years of torment at their evil hands. Four tough years of cruel Quidditch comments we've never heard of once in over two thousand pages and four books.
(Btw, I don't think it's OOC that the Slytherins would be making nasty comments every time Harry played. I just have Memento-style fantasies that JKR wakes up tattooed with 'Show, don't tell'.)
Also it's in this book the Slytherins appear to really be pulling together - at the end of GoF, there was some speculation over whether there was dissent in the house, since it appeared to be only Crabbe, Goyle and Malfoy who didn't rise to toast Harry; but here it appears that all of them loathe him, and rather than it being Malfoy who entertains them alone, they're all stepping up to the plate in support.
Aw. Would be quite touching if it wasn't a hate campaign.
(Mind you, I get the impression we're supposed to moved by the DA and their unification against Umbridge, so...)
* 'Warrington's aim's so pathetic I'd be more worried if he was aiming for the person next to me,' he retorted, which made Ron and Hermione laugh and wiped the smirk off Pansy Parkinsons face.
BWHAHAHA. Wait a second. That’s not really that funny.
Heh, Harry’s responses in this book remind me of the ‘sassy’ retorts we used to get taught in primary school, to be used against anyone who applied peer-pressure.
Like, if someone offers you a cigarette, you must say “Smoking’s for kippers!” or “I don’t think there’s anything ‘cool’ about lung cancer, thanks!” and the taunter will be stunned and impressed at your ready wit and back away. Maybe even looking flummoxed and “stupid”.
* But Ron had never endured a relentless campaign of insults, jeers and intimidation.
Oh man. I bet Ron's probably never insulted or intimidated anyone in his life, either. In fact, if there was a campaign of jeers against someone he didn't like, his principles on the issue would be so strong, I don't think he would derive any pleasure from it at all, let alone join in.
Except he totally would. So cry me a river!
* When Slytherins, some of them seventh-years and considerably larger than he was, muttered as they passed in the corridors, 'Got your bed booked in the hospital wing, Weasley?' he didn't laugh, but turned a delicate shade of green.
The students are larger and older? What bullies! Why, Ron’s own family would never stoop that low!
* When Draco Malfoy imitated Ron dropping the Quaffle (which he did whenever they came within sight of each other), Ron's ears glowed red and his hands shook so badly that he was likely to drop whatever he was holding at the time, too.
More Draco!Imitations.
And quite a departure from Old!Ron who would have leapt on him.
It can’t be because of the sensitive subject matter, either, since that’s all Draco ever picked/s on.
So why is Ron now such a wimp?
* Harry was reminded forcibly of the time Ron had accidentally put a Slug-vomiting Charm on himself; he looked just as pale and sweaty as he had done then…
Loser!Ron continues, with memories of his embarrassing mistakes and the revelation that even his successes are accidents.
* As they passed the Slytherin table there was an upsurge of noise. Harry looked round and saw that, in addition to the usual green and silver scarves and hats, every one of them was wearing a silver badge in the shape of what seemed to be a crown.
The Slytherin obsession with iconography continues (as does a burgeoning attempt from the Gryffindors, with scarves, gloves and rosettes.)
That was actually one of the few Movie!PoA moments I liked - the snake symbol fetish. I think I counted, off the top of my head; monogrammed gloves, tiepins, bags, rings, and even a scribbled serpent cartoon.
I’m surprised their hats aren’t black. With little devil horns, like a Jack Chick cartoon! ;)
* 'Don't be thick,' said Harry firmly, passing him a choice of cereals, 'you're going to be fine. It's normal to be nervous.'
Of course, Harry isn’t. Not that he’s not humble and self-effacing. Still, he’s “never lost” to Slytherin. And I’m sure he wouldn’t have to Cedric if it had been a question of skill.
* Many people were staring at her and a few were openly laughing and pointing...
'I'm supporting Gryffindor,' said Luna, pointing unnecessarily at her hat. 'Look what it does...'
...It opened its mouth wide and gave an extremely realistic roar that made everyone in the vicinity jump. 'It's good, isn't it?' said Luna happily. 'I wanted to have it chewing up a serpent to represent Slytherin, you know, but there wasn't time. Anyway…good luck, Ronald!'
To quote jollityfarm:
"You know, I rather liked Luna when I first saw her, but I've now come to the conclusion that she's really not that eccentric or peculiar at all. After all, despite all her posturing and humourous jewellery, she still attends Quidditch in support of Gryffindor (and why? What reason has she to care?)"
I don't know either, but to me, she either comes across as making a pathetically misjudged attempt to mack on Ron/Harry (I loathe Harry/Luna, but since "there's so much canonical evidence for it!" I guess I'm forced to suppose the unsupposable); or else being a bit of a sycophant - she's just met these people, who don't even appear to like her and already they're her best friends and she supports them in every venture? Neville/Luna doesn't sound so unlikely, since that's basically his attitude.
"...like a good little drone, and still support Our Heroes in a similar droneish manner. She appears to half-inch all her thoughts from other authorities - mostly her father and the rest of The Quibbler - and does little besides wearing funny hats. She's only odd to people with no imagination or soul (Hermione types, for example)."
Plus all the post OotP reactions on her moral compass is a bit rich; considering she's part of the DA, her first introduction is her laughing hysterically at jokes about Goyle and looking up how to hex her enemies, her whole attitude is basically a more liberal version of Malfoy's "Blah, blah, Daddy says", and we've never seen her opposing or questioning the Trio's dodgier actions in any way.
At best she appears to be a Lupin type, but I actually haven't seen any evidence of her being even mildly disturbed by anything yet, not even a crease of the forehead.
I could buy that JKR intends her to be an example, I could buy that she'll become one in future (whereas she doesn't ever disagree with the Trio, she also doesn't support them; and certainly she's the only member of the end sextet that hasn't attacked fellow students) but now? I say: "Meh!"
* 'Good luck, Ron,' said Hermione, standing on tiptoe and kissing him on the cheek. 'And you, Harry -'
Ron seemed to come to himself slightly as they walked back across the Great Hall. He touched the spot on his face where Hermione had kissed him, looking puzzled, as though he was not quite sure what had just happened.
*feels stirring fascination for trio love triangle and OT3.*
No wait. That’s just indigestion.
I know there’s a zillion theories on whether Hermione likes Ron or Harry, and whether Harry/Ron likes Hermione.
Am I the only one who has no opinion either way, and finds the suggestions of a love triangle horrifying and cheesy?
I actually prefer R/Hr slightly, since I think there's more canonical evidence for it, but really. I think any possible permutations between the three would result in miserable relationships, and the corniest thing I can think of, even lamer than OBHWF, would be Ron loves Hermione loves Harry.
* …Harry cast a curious glance at the crown-shaped badges as they passed the Slytherin table, and this time he made out the words etched on to them: Weasley is our King.
That’s some good eyesight for someone who needs glasses.
God forbid the smallest opportunity be missed to assert how Harry has no flaws, and if they do, they don't affect him like a normal human being.
* 'OK, I've only just found out the final line-up for Slytherin,' said Angelina, consulting a piece of parchment.
Why? The Slytherins all knew of Ron's joining the team.
* 'Last year's Beaters, Derrick and Bole, have left, but it looks as though Montague's replaced them with the usual gorillas, rather than anyone who can fly particularly well. They're two blokes called Crabbe and Goyle, I don't know much about them -'
Wow. That’s a pretty large assumption, since apparently Angelina’s never seen Crabbe and Goyle fly.
* 'We do,' said Harry and Ron together.
Heh. I’d be surprised if Harry and Ron could remind their first names. Although of course, they know what they look like naked, thanks to the Polyjuice potion (and later get points in their exams for this, also.)
* 'Well, they don't look bright enough to tell one end of a broom from the other,' said Angelina, pocketing her parchment, 'but then I was always surprised Derrick and Bole managed to find their way on to the pitch without signposts.'
'Crabbe and Goyle are in the same mould,' Harry assured her.
Aw. Along with ‘Let’s see Insert Enemy Here get what they deserve’, you’ve got a fantastic motto for the whole series right there - everyone's in a mould, nice or nasty; and actions don't affect them.
So the heroes are always heroes and the good side are always good, even if their actions directly parallel the baddies, whereas the baddies are always baddies (nobody ever changes, so even a 'good' Slytherin like Snape is forever untrustworthy), so we should hate them for flaws they possess, even if said flaws are also present in the goodies (for example, considering that neither he nor Ron or Neville, for that matter are exactly renowned for their smarts and the latter two can't "fly particularly well"; Harry and Angelina's smug assurance of their assessment of Crabbe and Goyle looks a little hypocritical.)
* He was starting to feel nervous, but he knew his butterflies were as nothing compared to Ron's...
I imagine the Slytherins were fairly nervous, also, since they've never won against Harry's team.
* The new Captain, Montague, was built along the same lines as Dudley Dursley, with massive forearms like hairy hams.
Ew, gross! I hope he gets brain damage in a later chapter! He deserves it for being so heavyset.
* Behind him lurked Crabbe and Goyle, almost as large, blinking stupidly in the sunlight, swinging their new Beaters' bats.
Wow. Even their blinks are stupid.
Could you remind your audience how fat, ugly, stupid and mean the Slytherins are again, please, Jo? I think I missed the first ninety-six references.
This could actually be an incredibly subtle purposeful technique, that the narrative voice knows nothing more than Harry (it appears to be omniscient, but at the same time, obviously biased and there have to be handicaps to it's knowledge, or else there would be no surprises at all) and Harry literally sees the people he hates as ugly and monster-like, in some kind of paranoid fantasy.
Or it could be incredibly unsubtle ugly-fat-people-suck message.
But what I'm actually getting, no doubt contrary to authorial intent as usual, is that the Slytherins are actually less superficial than the Gryffindors, since apparently they don't care about looks.
I mean, they criticize other people's, so I'm presuming that similiarly to Harry, they're harsher judges of their enemies and overlook their friends' deficiencies; but since Draco takes pug faced Pansy, the girl he knows on a personal level, to the ball; whereas Ron and Harry express a desire not to take "a pair of trolls" since they'd "rather go alone than with say, Eloise Midgen" and they want to take "the prettiest girl who'll have them, even if she's completely horrible", and end up with the "best looking girls in the year", who they hardly know, showing them a miserable time...
* Malfoy stood to one side, the sunlight gleaming on his white-blond head. He caught Harry's eye and smirked, tapping the crown-shaped badge on his chest.
I don't know whether said narrative voice is Harry or not, but it's definitely not Teh Straight.
* Harry could tell that Montague was trying to crush Angelina's fingers, though she did not wince.
Didn't Wood and Flint try and crush each others? Squish back, Angelina! (I thought she was all about girl power?)
* '- and the crowd are loving this, just listen to them, what's that they're singing?'
Heh. Presumably if the crowd had been singing a pro-Gryffindor/anti-opposing team chant (what happened to three-quarters of them booming “GO GO GRYFFINDOR”, anyway? And their massive banners?) Lee instead of trying to “drown (them) out” would be joining in.
(And for that matter, for all the anvils about Harry being used to taunting and campaigns against him, I didn’t see anyone complaining about the flags with Cedric’s head on fire in GoF; unlike the ‘Potter Stinks’ badges, which Hermione condemned.)
So...everyone’s rooting for Gryffindor usually because they’re so lovely and they were once underdogs before any of them even joined the school, but now instead of having three-quarters of the school cheering against them; Slytherin have suddenly become a “deafening” “sea” who can “drown out”, what, six hundred other people?
Either people are engaging in straetegic rooting, have changed allegiances (weren’t they rooting for Gryffindor in PS because they’d been underdogs for a long time? I guess that no longer applies, even to the staunchest Lions defender.) or else JKR is attempting, once again, to portray her villains as immensely powerful threatening bullies, who at the same time are loathed by everyone else and constantly losing.
* 'Weasley cannot save a thing,
He cannot block a single ring,
That's why Slytherins all sing:
Weasley is our King.
'Weasley was born in a bin
He always lets the Quaffle in
Weasley will make sure we win
Weasley is our King.'
Wow, rhymes and everything.
It's all adding to the evidence of who sent the valentine poem in CoS. *adjusts slipping tinhat*
* Harry could not help himself: abandoning his search for the Snitch, he wheeled around to watch Ron, a lone figure at the far end of the pitch, hovering before the three goalhoops while the massive Warrington pelted towards him.
Twice Harry forgets even to look for the Snitch, the next time for over a minute. Thank goodness this has no realistic effect on the outcome of the game!
And see again how subtly the size difference between Ron (who’s apparently a tall boy himself) and those nasty fatty Slytherins is reaffirmed. Why, it’s unfair that he should have to play them at all!
* '...come on now, Angelina, you can take him - turns out you can't...and Warrington drops the Quaffle and Katie Bell - er - drops it, too...'
The teams, despite the reputation everyone but Malfoy has as big and stupid, and Malfoy as so inept he has to buy his way on in the first place; actually appear fairly evenly matched - even Crabbe and Goyle are up to scratch (indeed, better than Ron, it appears.)
And the screw-ups also are equal - Harry's chasing watchstraps and missing out minutes, Draco's singing...
* '- and Pucey's dodged Alicia again and he's heading straight for goal, stop it, Ron!'
Gosh. Lots of fairly blatant cheating there, having an announcer instruct players, as well as the obvious and persistant bias he has (what's the point of having a prejudiced commentator? Doesn't that negate the entire point of having one at all? Although the bit where Lee inadvertently gets caught up with the game and forgets to root makes me laugh: '- This looks good - I mean bad - ')
Like, god forbid the commentator not be a Gryffindor. How would the readers know what to think?
* ...Harry saw the pug-faced Pansy Parkinson right at the front of the stands, her back to the pitch as she conducted the Slytherin supporters
Heh. They need conduction on how to chant a rude song? How very upper-class. I <3 Pansy.
* Malfoy's arm extended too, was reaching, groping…
It was over in two breathless, desperate, windswept seconds -
Malfoy's fingernails scrabbled the back of Harry's hand hopelessly -
This actually provoked genuine sympathy from me. Extremely rare impulse, that!
* ...it did not matter that Ron had let in those goals, nobody would remember as long as Gryffindor had won -
Aw. How big of you!
* 'Are you all right?'
'Course I am,' said Harry grimly, taking her hand and allowing her to pull him to his feet.
Am He-Man. Pain not hurt me! Grunt, grunt.
* 'It was that thug Crabbe,' said Angelina angrily, 'he whacked the Bludger at you the moment he saw you'd got the Snitch - but we won, Harry, we won!'
Fairly speedy reaction for someone apparently too slow to find their way onto a pitch by himself. Or did he throw it before being aware that the game was complete? (With anyone else, that would be like, the lamest excuse, but it’s likely quite viable with Crabbe, since he’s so "stupid".)
* Harry heard a snort from behind him and turned around, still holding the Snitch tightly in his hand: Draco Malfoy had landed close by. White-faced with fury, he was still managing to sneer.
'Saved Weasley's neck, haven't you?' he said to Harry. 'I've never seen a worse Keeper…but then he was born in a bin…did you like my lyrics, Potter?'
Harry didn't answer...
'We wanted to write another couple of verses!' Malfoy called, as Katie and Alicia hugged Harry. 'But we couldn't find rhymes for fat and ugly - we wanted to sing about his mother, see -'
"Did you like my lyrics?" Way to be subtle, man!
* ’Talk about sour grapes,' said Angelina, casting Malfoy a disgusted look.
Yeah. Any minute he’ll be off to drown himself in the showers or refuse to speak to the winner for a year.
* '- we couldn't fit in useless loser either - for his father, you know -'
Fred and George had realised what Malfoy was talking about. Halfway through shaking Harry's hand, they stiffened, looking round at Malfoy.
Heh. That just sums up the whole sportsman-like behaviour, or lack thereof, in these books for me - they don’t shake the opposing team’s hands (not that Slytherin made any effort to shake theirs, I’m sure) - they shake hands with their own team members.
* 'Leave it!' said Angelina at once, taking Fred by the arm. '...Let him yell, he's just sore he lost, the jumped-up little -'
Hee! Ironically Angelina sounds just like Malfoy, or the movie incarnation of him, here ("I'm going to get that jumped-up little Mudblood!")
* '- but you like the Weasleys, don't you, Potter?' said Malfoy, sneering. 'Spend holidays there and everything, don't you? Can't see how you stand the stink, but I suppose when you've been dragged up by Muggles, even the Weasleys' hovel smells OK -'
Interestingly, and in a change from GoF, Harry is no longer even mildly affected by insults about the Weasleys.
Indeed, in the last book, they’re his replacement family, rescuing him from the Dursleys, having him to stay, turning up at the tournament as relations and the closest Harry comes to tears is when Molly hugs him “like a mother”.
In OotP, he’s touched but irritated at Molly’s attempts at mothering, and rather than defend her and the rest of them as he did against Malfoy previously, he’s restraining George, and ironically in a very Malfoy-esque manner, looking for a teacher.
* Meanwhile, it was taking the combined efforts of Angelina, Alicia and Katie to stop Fred leaping on Malfoy, who was laughing openly.
Either the three girls are pretty weak, or else anger has given Fred Neville-esque HULK power.
* 'Or perhaps,' said Malfoy, leering as he backed away, 'you can remember what your mother's house stank like, Potter, and Weasleys pigsty reminds you of it -'
Perhaps. Movie!Harry can remember his parents, and PS!Harry can recall Hagrid's flying motorbike... Oh crap. I mean, boo, hiss! ;)
Seriously, though, is Harry reacting to the insult about his mother, or the implication that he hangs around the Weasleys because he misses his mother? Or both?
Probably the first, since it's simpler ;)
Mind you, he didn't get so irate at PS bit about his parents not knowing what was good for them...
And wow. Mummy and Daddy issues. Is there even a word for that? A Elektipus complex?
* Harry was not aware of releasing George, all he knew was that a second later both of them were sprinting towards Malfoy.
I guess if they're not aware of each other than they're not actually ganging up for an entirely unfair fight.
It's just like GoF - hey, the twins came out of nowhere! It was too late to stop ourselves from, again, outnumbering our opponents! Or even to try!
Which I wouldn't object to, btw - I've no doubt the Slytherins would equally have no qualms about that kind of thing; except we've seen no indication that the Slytherins pride themselves on their bravery and chivalry. You can do whatever you feel necessary, or you can take the moral highground, but both? That's just hypocrisy.
* ...with no time to draw out his wand...
They're allowed wands on the pitch?
* Malfoy was curled up on the ground, whimpering and moaning, his nose bloody; George was sporting a swollen lip; Fred was still being forcibly restrained by the three Chasers, and Crabbe was cackling in the background.
George has a swollen lip. And Ron had a bloody nose in PS after a fight with Malfoy. Maybe he has incredibly lucky aim, since he never appears to fight physically, even in defense?
(OMG an actual event requiring self-defense, and not a strawman, and would you believe it? It happens to a Slytherin! Which immediately negates it.)
And naturally, his wimpy reaction is all just evidence that Malfoy's a stupid baby next to Harry, who's suffered much worse pain (in fact, isn't there a line like that in PoA?)
Of course, if he'd fought back, it would have been evidence that he was a vicious bully.
Fred’s still being restrained.
And how far were Harry and George planning to go, anyway?
They had their opponent outnumbered, he was injured and unresisting, and still you need an Impediment Jinx and three chasers to prevent three boys beating up one smaller, and in two cases, younger boy. Classy.
And Crabbe’s cackling. I can only presume at Harry being knocked over backwards, since going from attempting to rescue helpless!ferret!Malfoy in GoF and earlier against Neville, to finding his pain hilarious would be:
a) a massive departure and
b) character development.
So I’m guessing that Crabbe, once more, has such slow reactions that his friend being beaten up hasn’t actually realized yet.
As I said before, he and Goyle aren’t the most ardous “bodyguards”. (And where did Goyle go, anyway? And Ron? I mean, I’m glad Ron wasn’t involved, since I don’t need to loathe another character on top of the ever-growing list, but isn’t it a bit unlikely that he missed the whole thing, upset or not?) I find it interesting that Crabbe didn’t even attempt to intervene, though, even on instinct like previously.
I guess we’re seeing a rare flicker of cunning here, and he’s possibly realised that in front of the entire school including teachers isn’t the best place. But then why would he throw the Bludger in the first place? God, how hard can it be to keep consistent, realistic characterisation for someone who doesn’t even talk?!
* 'I've never seen behaviour like it - back up to the castle, both of you, and straight to your Head of House's office! Go! Now.'
To be fair, Hooch also says she’s never seen a certain type of foul before in PoA, despite it apparently being a um…established foul.
I get the feeling she’s a) Gryffindor alumni and b) easily surprised.
* Harry and George turned on their heels and marched off the pitch, both panting, neither saying a word to the other. The howling and jeering of the crowd grew fainter and fainter until they reached the Entrance Hall, where they could hear nothing except the sound of their own footsteps. Harry became aware that something was still struggling in his right hand, the knuckles of which he had bruised against Malfoy's jaw. Looking down, he saw the Snitch's silver wings protruding from between his fingers, struggling for release.
Wow. So Harry’s unaware of anyone else in the world, is “panting”, punching every “inch of Malfoy”, “as hard as he can”; while Malfoy’s on his back “yelling” and “moaning”. And now Harry realises *cough* the Snitch is “struggling for release.”
Well! I don’t know about anyone else, but…*smokes cigarette* ;)
Also, malafede made the Best Comparison Ever and pointed out that Harry still holding the Snitch while beating someone up is a direct parallel (unintentional or not) with James in the Pensieve scene, who plays with his Snitch the whole time.
While addictedkitten wrote fight!meta and fic inspired from this chapter alone.
* She was wearing a Gryffindor scarf, but tore it from her throat with shaking hands as she strode towards them, looking livid.
She strode around behind her desk and faced them, quivering with rage as she threw the Gryffindor scarf aside on to the floor.
'Well?' she said. 'I have never seen such a disgraceful exhibition. Two on one! Explain yourselves!'
Wow. Go, McGonagall! Tearing off the scarf, indeed!
* 'Malfoy provoked us,' said Harry stiffly.
'Provoked you?' shouted Professor McGonagall, slamming a fist on to her desk… 'He'd just lost, hadn't he? Of course he wanted to provoke you! But what on earth he can have said that justified what you two -'
'He insulted my parents,' snarled George. 'And Harry's mother.'
Aw. Diddums. Then I guess you bear no responsibility for your actions at all. Self-control? For other people.
So I suppose by that logic, Harry’s insult about Draco’s parents means that he’s “justified” in attacking Harry in GoF. And the end of OotP, outnumbering him. Except, oh no, that also results in smackdowns for Draco. Silly me.
* 'But instead of leaving it to Madam Hooch to sort out, you two decided to give an exhibition of Muggle duelling, did you?' bellowed Professor McGonagall. 'Have you any idea what you've - '
McGonagall joins the list of liberal, caring-sharing types (well, Hagrid and Molly) who are shocked, shocked, I tell you! at people being prejudiced against Muggle-born wizards, but can't seem to keep from making derogatory remarks against Muggles themselves.
To be fair, last year they attacked with their wands. Maybe they’re trying to mix it up a bit?
Actually, there does appear to be a pattern to the Gryffindor-Slytherin altercations.
In PS, there’s physical fighting (Malfoy versus Ron, and Crabbe and Goyle versus Neville) and the threatened magical duel never materialises (in fact, Ron even suggests a ‘punch in the nose’ is a better tactic.)
In CoS, there’s Malfoy versus Harry at the duelling club.
In PoA, there’s physical…rough-housing? with the mud-throwing.
In GoF, magic is used again, with Malfoy’s attack on Harry pre-ferreting and Harry, the Twins, Ron and Hermione’s attack on the Slytherin trio at the end.
And now in OotP, there’s both physical fighting and magic applied ‘in defense’ of Harry.
* Dolores Umbridge was standing in the doorway wrapped in a green tweed cloak that greatly enhanced her resemblance to a giant toad, and was smiling in the horrible, sickly, ominous way that Harry had come to associate with imminent misery.
OMG, green. I bet she was rooting for Slytherin all along. She probably was one. Teh conspiracy!111 *breathes loudly through mouth*
And thank goodness Umbridge arrived, giving us someone to dislike in this situation and blame for George and Harry’s behaviour, other than George and Harry (and of course, Malfoy!)
* 'Now, you two had better listen closely. I do not care what provocation Malfoy offered you, I do not care if he insulted every family member you possess, your behaviour was disgusting and I am giving each of you a week's worth of detentions! Do not look at me like that, Potter, you deserve it! And if either of you ever -'
Heh. Was Harry glaring or attempting a bit of batted eyelashes?
I'm guessing the glaring. How dare I be punished, does she know who I am, haven't I suffered enough? etcetera.
Mind you, if either of them ever act up again, my faith in McGonagall actually doing anything is still not particularly high.
Heh, I'm like Harry in a way - she hasn't shown quite enough deference towards him to impress him, or quite enough disciplining him to impress me.
* 'I think they deserve rather more than detentions,' said Umbridge, smiling still more broadly.
'But unfortunately' she said, with an attempt at a reciprocal smile that made her look as though she had lockjaw, 'it is what I think that counts, as they are in my House, Dolores.'
Yeah. Lucky that. Otherwise they might have got harsher punishments, and Minerva would have lost the shiny cup she appears to value so highly.
(You cannot tell me that if the Slytherins had done something like that, they wouldn't have gotten a harsher punishment. In fact, iirc, after the PoA "trick" they all got detention and fifty points taken, and that was less serious, imho.)
Although I was impressed at McGonagall at least attempting to be polite.
* 'Well, actually, Minerva,' simpered Professor Umbridge, 'I think you'll find that what I think does count. Now, where is it? Cornelius just sent it…I mean,' she gave a false little laugh as she rummaged in her handbag, 'the Minister just sent it…’
Huh. I guess there are three conclusions one can make from that little slip.
Umbridge likes to name-drop, since she’s all about power and important friends and Slytherin things like that (Gryffindors don’t have important friends. Except that guy who ran the best (only?) school in Britain on top of being in charge of the Wizengamot and )
Umbridge has taken a shine for Fudge, in a pathetic Miss Moneypenny kind of way. Because women, even the ones in high-pressure jobs are silly like that.
Or Umbridge and Fudge actually have a thing going. Which is how women get to the top, presumably - on their backs.
* 'And you see now, don't you, Minerva, how right I was in attempting to stop the Gryffindor team re-forming? Dreadful tempers...'
Heh. Again, are we supposed to be disagreeing with Umbridge here? Because the team members appear to be proving her right.
And I don't why Umbridge shouldn't have supreme authority over Hogwarts. Dumbledore already does, and she can't be any worse than him - certainly her seemingly arbitrary and biased system of punishments for some, privileges for others isn't exactly unprecedented.
* Signed, Cornelius Fudge, Minister for Magic, Order of Merlin First Class, etc., etc."'
Fudge has an Order of Merlin?
* Harry felt the Snitch fluttering madly in his hand. 'Ban us?' he said, and his voice sounded strangely distant. 'From playing ...ever again?'
Poor Hawwy. Again, this part has almost none of the presumed intended effect on me, since:
a) The actual chances of the ban being enforced for the rest of Harry's lifetime are approximately 0.0000001 in a million.
Ooh, I'm dying of the suspense of wondering whether Dumbledore/McGonagall lift it at the start of HBP or silently at the end of OotP?
And will Harry win the next game as usual (he has to win his last game ever OMG!11 in seventh year, so the only mystery is HBP) or lose to evil opposition Cho/Zacharias/Malfoy since he’s got so much on his mind and hasn’t practiced in a year and anyway, he has more important things to think about, it’s all right for those petty people who can focus on athletics rivalries, blah blah herocakes?
b) I don’t actually think the punishment was hugely unfair.
I would have said that a term of suspension from sports would have done it myself, but all the horror from both characters and fandom about how ickle twins and Harry didn’t deserve it was rather lost on me.
When I was at school, (yup, a British school, and less than five years ago) a fight like that would have got you suspended from lessons for a week, never mind detention. And if you had the history that Fred, George and Harry have; probably expulsion.
Of course, I didn’t find the song or insults that shocking either, since I've actually been to a real-life sports match *gasp*.
In fact, just recently, there was a news report about people making monkey noises and throwing bananas at black players.
There was also controversy here, a while back, about David Beckham giving the finger to fans who were chanting about how his wife takes it up the arse and his kid should die.
So someone saying your momma is fat, and um, your brother is bad at playing? Prfrt.
* 'Yes, Mr Potter, I think a lifelong ban ought to do the trick,' said Umbridge, her smile widening still further as she watched him struggle to comprehend what she had said. 'You and Mr Weasley here.
How could you possibly ban someone from a lifetime of playing sport? Do you have some magical contract up (presumably not, since the twins fly out of Hogwarts) or do you just trust that they won’t buy new brooms and just play at home, or possibly/eventually for professional leagues?
This is such a paranoid, martyr fantasy.
* ‘…And I think, to be safe, this young man's twin ought to be stopped, too - if his teammates had not restrained him, I feel sure he would have attacked young Mr Malfoy as well.’
Heh. I felt almost sympathetic for Fred until he basically said ‘Umbridge is totally right, I would have!’
* ‘But I am not unreasonable, Professor McGonagall,' she continued, turning back to Professor McGonagall who was now standing as still as though carved from ice, staring at her. ‘The rest of the team can continue playing, I saw no signs of violence from any of them. Well...good afternoon to you.'
I actually think that is fairly reasonable, considering that Umbridge isn't exactly the most moderate of people - I've no doubt she could have banned the entire team, if she wanted.
In fact, the only reason for her not to, given how evilly she's been portrayed so far, is contrivance, so that JKR doesn't have to write Gryffindor losing.
* 'Banned,' said Angelina in a hollow voice… 'Banned. No Seeker and no Beaters...what on earth are we going to do?'
Um. Learn how not to beat people up? Actually lose a match, and gracefully, for once in your lives? Realise that there are more important things in life than a game?
Luckily, they end up doing none of these, but winning anyway!
I’m so glad everybody learned something. Except they learnt nothing; instead viewing themselves as the victims of every situation. Meanwhile, Fred and George go from beating up younger students to giving people brain damage; whereas Harry rises above his mistakes by um…threatening to curse Malfoy and having his minions group “defend” him by outnumbering the Slytherins and practicing hexes on them.
* It did not feel as though they had won the match at all.
Oh, poor them. When I read this chapter, I get this pain in my chest. I think it’s my heart, bleeding.
So, presumably if they’d won the fight and the match, no questions asked, they’d be thrilled; but actually facing consequences for their actions really brings them down.
* 'It's just so unfair,' said Alicia numbly. 'I mean, what about Crabbe and that Bludger he hit after the whistle had been blown? Has she banned him?'
Um. That is a slightly different situation.
The Gryffindors appear to have only the most basic understanding of the concept of rules at all. Any rule at all is like, totally unfair and bureaucratic, even ‘thou shalt not kill’, probably; and there’s absolutely no difference between any of them at all, so say, attempting an Unforgiveable and sneaking out of your dorm at midnight should receive equal punishment (which is to say, none, ideally.)
For starters, Crabbe didn’t throw a Bludger accompanied by Goyle, while the rest of the Slytherin team held back Malfoy from throwing more Bludgers.
For second, Crabbe didn’t have to be hexed to stop him continuing to throw Bludgers, neither did he keep throwing them once Harry was down and not fighting.
For thirds, Crabbe was applying actual game actions to outside the game, literally seconds after the game ended, while I don’t recall the game rules ever allowing punching.
I remember one of the twins throwing a bat at someone’s head while a game was in progress, and they weren’t punished at all (oh, except each team got a penalty.)
For fourths, Crabbe’s Bludger resulted in no noted injury whatsoever for Harry.
* 'No,' said Ginny miserably; she and Hermione were sitting on either side of Harry. 'He just got lines, I heard Montague laughing about it at dinner.'
Umbridge lines? I wouldn’t laugh at that, myself.
And see how Ginny cares about Quidditch now? And we still have the unveiling of her amazing Super Seeker Skills to go!
* 'And banning Fred when he didn't even do anything!' said Alicia furiously, pummelling her knee with her fist.
'It's not my fault I didn't,' said Fred, with a very ugly look on his face, 'I would've pounded the little scumbag to a pulp if you three hadn't been holding me back.'
Oh, poor you. With the sloppy job Harry and George were forced to bravely do alone, he likely only got squished into a lumpy paste.
Like I said, I actually did think that Umbridge banning Fred was unfair, since he didn’t attack; but since her assessment of the situation is by his own admission apt, I’m not so sure now.
And jeebus, they're sulky when they don't get their way, these twins. Hours later when they go to bed, they're still "glowering at everyone they pass".
Interesting adjective for Fred here, though - "very ugly". Like "vicious" for Hermione, earlier...
* 'Maybe this will all turn out to have been a bad dream...maybe I'll wake up tomorrow and find we haven't played yet…'
Oh for fuck’s sake. I see Gryffindor melodrama isn’t confined to Harry.
* The stolen Snitch zoomed over their heads.
Another oddly negative description.
* Hermione told him the full story; Harry could not bear to tell it again.
When she had finished, Ron looked more anguished than ever. ‘This is all my fault -'
'You didn't make me punch Malfoy,' said Harry angrily.
No. Malfoy made you punch Malfoy. With his magical powers of Imperius.
* '- it was that song that wound me up -'
'- it would've wound anyone up.'
Except if we had the Slytherins hissyfitting over a lame insult. Then it would be pathetic and childish and any attempt at retaliation would result in some teacher storming in, assessing how cowardly they are (unlike the Gryffindors of course, who attack two against one) and bouncing them against stone walls.
And of course, we’ve just had chapter and verse of how bravely Harry tolerates the constant taunts and is maturely above them, even amused. So now, for a change, we get saintly Harry making excuses for consoling Ron.
I love that Ron feels guiltier and more embarrassed over playing badly and thus almost preventing a Gryffindor win (OH NOES!111) than Harry appears to for his little outburst, thus losing Gryffindor their star Seeker (but not preventing later wins for the team - OH THANK GOD!1!)
I mean, I’m seeing lots of self-pity and excuses and OMG my hurting someone else may have accidentally hurt me, but actual guilt?
* 'Look, drop it, will you!' Harry burst out. 'It's bad enough, without you blaming yourself for everything!'
Goddamnit, Ron! There’s only room for one self-pitying martyr here, and that’s me!
* Ron said nothing… After a while he said in a dull voice, 'This is the worst I've ever felt in my life.'
'Join the club,' said Harry bitterly.
HAHAHAHA. Wow, Harry, worse than when Cedric DIED IN FRONT OF YOU? Worse than being tortured with Unforgiveables? Worse than seeing your dead parents in the Mirror of Erised and hearing their voices when Dementors approached?
Jesus, everyone should have such horrible problems.
* 'Well,' said Hermione, her voice trembling slightly. 'I can think of one thing that might cheer you both up.'…a broad smile spreading across her face. 'Hagrid’s back.'
Oh god.
Useless Fact: This is the chapter I read first when I got my copy, purely on the basis of the title.
* …whenever he was supposed to be reading Wilbert Slinkhard's book during her lessons, he dwelled instead on satisfying memories of their most recent meetings, remembering how Neville had successfully disarmed Hermione
Fo’ real? I guess all Neville needed was a good teacher, attention and confidence. *after school special theme plays*
And luckily Harry’s not paying attention to his lesson won’t disadvantage him in any way, as it might a normal person. He can just show his Patronus to his examiners and get extra marks! (Or as he predicts himself, an ‘Outstanding’ in his OWL.)
* Hermione soon devised a very clever method of communicating the time and date of the next meeting…because it would look suspicious if people from different Houses were seen crossing the Great Hall to talk to each other too often.
Oh yes. Before you know it, there’d be intra-house interaction, the school working as one, peace and love all round. *shudders*
Since it’s presumably Umbridge whose suspicions would be aroused by ‘too (much)’ talking between houses, I guess we have a juxtaposition here between her views and Dumbledore’s, who encourages unification (in words if not actions); and the hat.
Interesting that this is another example of the students actually being comfortable with Umbridge’s methods - although they wish to interact with members of their own group, they have no ideological conflict with segregation and actually Umbridge inadvertently apes their methods - they have representatives of all but one house in the DA, she has members of only one house as her Inquisitorial Squad. I imagine if asked to consider say, Gryffindors, her reaction would be: “Fat chance.”
And the narrative’s description of Hermione’s method is, at present, positive. Huh. I’m going to go into this later, but the narration of the HP books in general is quite confusing, imho.
* She gave each of the members of the DA a fake Galleon (Ron became very excited when he first saw the basket and was convinced she was actually giving out gold).
Ron’s not winning any prizes for pride this chapter, what with the “mournful” self-pity over being poor, and needing Harry to feed him and lead him to the Quidditch pitch, and Alicia to dress him. I guess now Neville’s learnt how to curse people and thus win his housemates’ approval, the Gryffindors now need someone to pity and patronise.
* 'You see the numerals around the edge of the coins?…On real Galleons that's just a serial number referring to the goblin who cast the coin.’
Heh. I love Hermione’s dialogue. So natural.
* 'You can do a Protean Charm?' said Terry Boot…'But that's…that's NEWT standard, that is,' he said weakly.
'Oh,' said Hermione, trying to look modest. 'Oh ... well ... yes, I suppose it is.'
'How come you're not in Ravenclaw?' he demanded, staring at Hermione with something close to wonder. 'With brains like yours?'
As Harry and Hermione’s achievements mount, they’re slowly losing the battle to appear humble and self-effacing. ;)
And Terry continues the Ravenclaw mackage on Hermione.
Heh, like Gryffindor, his house appears to have a high opinion of themselves and their traits.
Quite odd, since the overall impression gleaned from the books is that the culture encourages attitudes and values most similiar to the Gryffindor way of thinking, which would mean children consciously or unconsciously respecting the members of that house above all others and perhaps even wanting to be more like those themselves, which I think bears out with the behaviour of both Slytherin and Hufflepuff houses.
I guess Ravenclaws, Terry not withstanding, are more individualistic, as smart people should be.
Also, presuming that the nearest equivalent to an OWL is a GCSE and a NEWT equals roughly an A-Level, Hermione isn’t necessarily a genius. And even if achieving a NEWT standard meant exceptional skill, it wouldn’t follow that skill = brains.
Look at Harry - his skills in DADA are presumably surpassing even NEWTs, yet I don’t think anyone would describe him as brilliantly intelligent. Of course, the standard of intelligence in the HP novels is directly contrasted to my own opinions, so there we are - I see lots of respect for practical work (boo theory!) but very little imagination or actual thirst for knowledge.
* 'Well, the Sorting Hat did seriously consider putting me in Ravenclaw during my Sorting,' said Hermione brightly, ‘but it decided on Gryffindor in the end.'
Aw. How cool for the people who got consideration for more than one house. I guess that makes them twice as good as everyone else.
And why is this the first we’ve heard of this? Especially since there’s no mention of any pause in Sorting in PS? Did Hermione get any say whatsoever? (I’ve never seen any evidence that the hat doesn’t merely put everyone in the house they want to go in, myself.)
I wonder if this will eventually prompt Harry to reveal the Horrible Secret about his own, only to be reassured by his friends that it doesn’t matter?
* 'You know what these remind me of?'
'No, what's that?'
‘The Death Eaters' scars. Voldemort touches one of them, and all their scars burn, and they know they've got to join him.'
'Well…yes,' said Hermione quietly, 'that is where I got the idea…’
Alarm bells ringing, anyone?
* …‘but you'll notice I decided to engrave the date on bits of metal rather than on our members' skin.'
'Yeah…I prefer your way,' said Harry, grinning, as he slipped his Galleon into his pocket.
Oh yes, me too. Instead of engraving the date on people’s skin, she marks out words. That’s much better and totally different!
And of course, Harry prefers her way. He’s nice and non-violent like that. Except when he finds out how similar it actually is to the Death Eaters’ method, when his reaction is: “brilliant”.
* the Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs were taking a lively interest in the outcome, for they, of course, would be playing both teams over the coming year
One would think they’d be rooting for Slytherin, since that team is apparently inferior to Gryffindor and thus would be easier for them to beat. Although I guess if they have to play both…
* …and the Heads of House of the competing teams, though they attempted to disguise it under a decent pretence of sportsmanship, were determined to see their own side victorious.
It’s refreshing to see that both McGonagall and Snape are presented as biased in this chapter.
* Harry realised how much Professor McGonagall cared about beating Slytherin when she abstained from giving them homework in the week leading up to the match.
'I think you've got enough to be getting on with at the moment,' she said loftily.
Nobody could quite believe their ears until she looked directly at Harry and Ron and said grimly, 'I've become accustomed to seeing the Quidditch Cup in my study, boys, and I really don't want to have to hand it over to Professor Snape, so use the extra time to practise, won't you?'
I wonder if she required no homework from all her classes, in the interests of fairness?
Or even all her students in Harry and Ron’s particular group, or just them?
And isn’t it obvious how much McGonagall cares about “beating Slytherin” (I love that phrase. Not “her own team winning” but the opposition losing.) by um…her buying Harry a top-of-the-line broomstick in his first year? How about the pep talks she gave in PoA that was almost identical to this? For future evidence, how about her points shift at the end of OotP?
I love how because McGonagall, unlike Dumbledore, makes an extremely lame attempt to appear impartial, Harry takes this as her not preferring him at all, and thus being a hard ass.
* Snape was no less obviously partisan; he had booked the Quidditch pitch for Slytherin practice so often that the Gryffindors had difficulty getting on it to play.
Heh. What I also love is with this massive pitch, no-one ever just shares it. (Although, iirc, Flint suggested this in CoS. I miss Flint.)
* He was also turning a deaf ear to the many reports of Slytherin attempts to hex Gryffindor players in the corridors.
To be fair, we never see any reaction from Snape when “odd things ke(ep) happening” to Slytherin students, such as being hexed with “horrible skin complaints” and having to miss class thanks to “growing antlers”.
Or of course, any reaction when the Slytherins are injured by faculty members, or by classmates on school transport facilities.
He’s not exactly hands-on or nurturing of anybody, that we know of.
* When Alicia Spinnet turned up in the hospital wing with her eyebrows growing so thick and fast they obscured her vision and obstructed her mouth, Snape insisted that she must have attempted a Hairthickening Charm on herself and refused to listen to the fourteen eye-witnesses who insisted they had seen the Slytherin Keeper, Miles Bletchley, hit her from behind with a jinx while she worked in the library.
Oooh! From behind! That is so low! Next thing you know, he’ll be outnumbering first, then attacking; or jinxing younger students.
I wonder what house the fourteen eye-witnesses were in.
* Harry felt optimistic about Gryffindor's chances; they had, after all, never lost to Malfoy's team.
Yet. (You see, I, too, am optimistic. Stupidly so!)
* …the rest of the team felt this save compared favourably with one made recently by Barry Ryan, the Irish International Keeper, against Poland's top Chaser, Ladislaw Zamojski.
Huh? I don’t quite get the point of this sentence. The Gryffindors are so deluded they think they’re already International standard? (Well, it’s probably not a delusion. I’m sure Ginny or Harry could give them a run for their money. Sues are talented like that.) Exposition? Background?
* The only thing really worrying Harry was how much Ron was allowing the tactics of the Slytherin team to upset him before they even got on to the pitch.
Harry, of course, had endured their snide comments for over four years, so whispers of, 'Hey, Potty, I heard Warrington's sworn to knock you off your broom on Saturday', far from chilling his blood, made him laugh.
Stupid Slytherins and their non-game tactics.
The Gryffindors rely on skill alone! (And having the best possible equipment, and having exceptions made for them to be on the team at all, and educational standards waived once they are.)
Of course, Harry would never be upset by that kind of thing, since he's suffered four long, hard years of torment at their evil hands. Four tough years of cruel Quidditch comments we've never heard of once in over two thousand pages and four books.
(Btw, I don't think it's OOC that the Slytherins would be making nasty comments every time Harry played. I just have Memento-style fantasies that JKR wakes up tattooed with 'Show, don't tell'.)
Also it's in this book the Slytherins appear to really be pulling together - at the end of GoF, there was some speculation over whether there was dissent in the house, since it appeared to be only Crabbe, Goyle and Malfoy who didn't rise to toast Harry; but here it appears that all of them loathe him, and rather than it being Malfoy who entertains them alone, they're all stepping up to the plate in support.
Aw. Would be quite touching if it wasn't a hate campaign.
(Mind you, I get the impression we're supposed to moved by the DA and their unification against Umbridge, so...)
* 'Warrington's aim's so pathetic I'd be more worried if he was aiming for the person next to me,' he retorted, which made Ron and Hermione laugh and wiped the smirk off Pansy Parkinsons face.
BWHAHAHA. Wait a second. That’s not really that funny.
Heh, Harry’s responses in this book remind me of the ‘sassy’ retorts we used to get taught in primary school, to be used against anyone who applied peer-pressure.
Like, if someone offers you a cigarette, you must say “Smoking’s for kippers!” or “I don’t think there’s anything ‘cool’ about lung cancer, thanks!” and the taunter will be stunned and impressed at your ready wit and back away. Maybe even looking flummoxed and “stupid”.
* But Ron had never endured a relentless campaign of insults, jeers and intimidation.
Oh man. I bet Ron's probably never insulted or intimidated anyone in his life, either. In fact, if there was a campaign of jeers against someone he didn't like, his principles on the issue would be so strong, I don't think he would derive any pleasure from it at all, let alone join in.
Except he totally would. So cry me a river!
* When Slytherins, some of them seventh-years and considerably larger than he was, muttered as they passed in the corridors, 'Got your bed booked in the hospital wing, Weasley?' he didn't laugh, but turned a delicate shade of green.
The students are larger and older? What bullies! Why, Ron’s own family would never stoop that low!
* When Draco Malfoy imitated Ron dropping the Quaffle (which he did whenever they came within sight of each other), Ron's ears glowed red and his hands shook so badly that he was likely to drop whatever he was holding at the time, too.
More Draco!Imitations.
And quite a departure from Old!Ron who would have leapt on him.
It can’t be because of the sensitive subject matter, either, since that’s all Draco ever picked/s on.
So why is Ron now such a wimp?
* Harry was reminded forcibly of the time Ron had accidentally put a Slug-vomiting Charm on himself; he looked just as pale and sweaty as he had done then…
Loser!Ron continues, with memories of his embarrassing mistakes and the revelation that even his successes are accidents.
* As they passed the Slytherin table there was an upsurge of noise. Harry looked round and saw that, in addition to the usual green and silver scarves and hats, every one of them was wearing a silver badge in the shape of what seemed to be a crown.
The Slytherin obsession with iconography continues (as does a burgeoning attempt from the Gryffindors, with scarves, gloves and rosettes.)
That was actually one of the few Movie!PoA moments I liked - the snake symbol fetish. I think I counted, off the top of my head; monogrammed gloves, tiepins, bags, rings, and even a scribbled serpent cartoon.
I’m surprised their hats aren’t black. With little devil horns, like a Jack Chick cartoon! ;)
* 'Don't be thick,' said Harry firmly, passing him a choice of cereals, 'you're going to be fine. It's normal to be nervous.'
Of course, Harry isn’t. Not that he’s not humble and self-effacing. Still, he’s “never lost” to Slytherin. And I’m sure he wouldn’t have to Cedric if it had been a question of skill.
* Many people were staring at her and a few were openly laughing and pointing...
'I'm supporting Gryffindor,' said Luna, pointing unnecessarily at her hat. 'Look what it does...'
...It opened its mouth wide and gave an extremely realistic roar that made everyone in the vicinity jump. 'It's good, isn't it?' said Luna happily. 'I wanted to have it chewing up a serpent to represent Slytherin, you know, but there wasn't time. Anyway…good luck, Ronald!'
To quote jollityfarm:
"You know, I rather liked Luna when I first saw her, but I've now come to the conclusion that she's really not that eccentric or peculiar at all. After all, despite all her posturing and humourous jewellery, she still attends Quidditch in support of Gryffindor (and why? What reason has she to care?)"
I don't know either, but to me, she either comes across as making a pathetically misjudged attempt to mack on Ron/Harry (I loathe Harry/Luna, but since "there's so much canonical evidence for it!" I guess I'm forced to suppose the unsupposable); or else being a bit of a sycophant - she's just met these people, who don't even appear to like her and already they're her best friends and she supports them in every venture? Neville/Luna doesn't sound so unlikely, since that's basically his attitude.
"...like a good little drone, and still support Our Heroes in a similar droneish manner. She appears to half-inch all her thoughts from other authorities - mostly her father and the rest of The Quibbler - and does little besides wearing funny hats. She's only odd to people with no imagination or soul (Hermione types, for example)."
Plus all the post OotP reactions on her moral compass is a bit rich; considering she's part of the DA, her first introduction is her laughing hysterically at jokes about Goyle and looking up how to hex her enemies, her whole attitude is basically a more liberal version of Malfoy's "Blah, blah, Daddy says", and we've never seen her opposing or questioning the Trio's dodgier actions in any way.
At best she appears to be a Lupin type, but I actually haven't seen any evidence of her being even mildly disturbed by anything yet, not even a crease of the forehead.
I could buy that JKR intends her to be an example, I could buy that she'll become one in future (whereas she doesn't ever disagree with the Trio, she also doesn't support them; and certainly she's the only member of the end sextet that hasn't attacked fellow students) but now? I say: "Meh!"
* 'Good luck, Ron,' said Hermione, standing on tiptoe and kissing him on the cheek. 'And you, Harry -'
Ron seemed to come to himself slightly as they walked back across the Great Hall. He touched the spot on his face where Hermione had kissed him, looking puzzled, as though he was not quite sure what had just happened.
*feels stirring fascination for trio love triangle and OT3.*
No wait. That’s just indigestion.
I know there’s a zillion theories on whether Hermione likes Ron or Harry, and whether Harry/Ron likes Hermione.
Am I the only one who has no opinion either way, and finds the suggestions of a love triangle horrifying and cheesy?
I actually prefer R/Hr slightly, since I think there's more canonical evidence for it, but really. I think any possible permutations between the three would result in miserable relationships, and the corniest thing I can think of, even lamer than OBHWF, would be Ron loves Hermione loves Harry.
* …Harry cast a curious glance at the crown-shaped badges as they passed the Slytherin table, and this time he made out the words etched on to them: Weasley is our King.
That’s some good eyesight for someone who needs glasses.
God forbid the smallest opportunity be missed to assert how Harry has no flaws, and if they do, they don't affect him like a normal human being.
* 'OK, I've only just found out the final line-up for Slytherin,' said Angelina, consulting a piece of parchment.
Why? The Slytherins all knew of Ron's joining the team.
* 'Last year's Beaters, Derrick and Bole, have left, but it looks as though Montague's replaced them with the usual gorillas, rather than anyone who can fly particularly well. They're two blokes called Crabbe and Goyle, I don't know much about them -'
Wow. That’s a pretty large assumption, since apparently Angelina’s never seen Crabbe and Goyle fly.
* 'We do,' said Harry and Ron together.
Heh. I’d be surprised if Harry and Ron could remind their first names. Although of course, they know what they look like naked, thanks to the Polyjuice potion (and later get points in their exams for this, also.)
* 'Well, they don't look bright enough to tell one end of a broom from the other,' said Angelina, pocketing her parchment, 'but then I was always surprised Derrick and Bole managed to find their way on to the pitch without signposts.'
'Crabbe and Goyle are in the same mould,' Harry assured her.
Aw. Along with ‘Let’s see Insert Enemy Here get what they deserve’, you’ve got a fantastic motto for the whole series right there - everyone's in a mould, nice or nasty; and actions don't affect them.
So the heroes are always heroes and the good side are always good, even if their actions directly parallel the baddies, whereas the baddies are always baddies (nobody ever changes, so even a 'good' Slytherin like Snape is forever untrustworthy), so we should hate them for flaws they possess, even if said flaws are also present in the goodies (for example, considering that neither he nor Ron or Neville, for that matter are exactly renowned for their smarts and the latter two can't "fly particularly well"; Harry and Angelina's smug assurance of their assessment of Crabbe and Goyle looks a little hypocritical.)
* He was starting to feel nervous, but he knew his butterflies were as nothing compared to Ron's...
I imagine the Slytherins were fairly nervous, also, since they've never won against Harry's team.
* The new Captain, Montague, was built along the same lines as Dudley Dursley, with massive forearms like hairy hams.
Ew, gross! I hope he gets brain damage in a later chapter! He deserves it for being so heavyset.
* Behind him lurked Crabbe and Goyle, almost as large, blinking stupidly in the sunlight, swinging their new Beaters' bats.
Wow. Even their blinks are stupid.
Could you remind your audience how fat, ugly, stupid and mean the Slytherins are again, please, Jo? I think I missed the first ninety-six references.
This could actually be an incredibly subtle purposeful technique, that the narrative voice knows nothing more than Harry (it appears to be omniscient, but at the same time, obviously biased and there have to be handicaps to it's knowledge, or else there would be no surprises at all) and Harry literally sees the people he hates as ugly and monster-like, in some kind of paranoid fantasy.
Or it could be incredibly unsubtle ugly-fat-people-suck message.
But what I'm actually getting, no doubt contrary to authorial intent as usual, is that the Slytherins are actually less superficial than the Gryffindors, since apparently they don't care about looks.
I mean, they criticize other people's, so I'm presuming that similiarly to Harry, they're harsher judges of their enemies and overlook their friends' deficiencies; but since Draco takes pug faced Pansy, the girl he knows on a personal level, to the ball; whereas Ron and Harry express a desire not to take "a pair of trolls" since they'd "rather go alone than with say, Eloise Midgen" and they want to take "the prettiest girl who'll have them, even if she's completely horrible", and end up with the "best looking girls in the year", who they hardly know, showing them a miserable time...
* Malfoy stood to one side, the sunlight gleaming on his white-blond head. He caught Harry's eye and smirked, tapping the crown-shaped badge on his chest.
I don't know whether said narrative voice is Harry or not, but it's definitely not Teh Straight.
* Harry could tell that Montague was trying to crush Angelina's fingers, though she did not wince.
Didn't Wood and Flint try and crush each others? Squish back, Angelina! (I thought she was all about girl power?)
* '- and the crowd are loving this, just listen to them, what's that they're singing?'
Heh. Presumably if the crowd had been singing a pro-Gryffindor/anti-opposing team chant (what happened to three-quarters of them booming “GO GO GRYFFINDOR”, anyway? And their massive banners?) Lee instead of trying to “drown (them) out” would be joining in.
(And for that matter, for all the anvils about Harry being used to taunting and campaigns against him, I didn’t see anyone complaining about the flags with Cedric’s head on fire in GoF; unlike the ‘Potter Stinks’ badges, which Hermione condemned.)
So...everyone’s rooting for Gryffindor usually because they’re so lovely and they were once underdogs before any of them even joined the school, but now instead of having three-quarters of the school cheering against them; Slytherin have suddenly become a “deafening” “sea” who can “drown out”, what, six hundred other people?
Either people are engaging in straetegic rooting, have changed allegiances (weren’t they rooting for Gryffindor in PS because they’d been underdogs for a long time? I guess that no longer applies, even to the staunchest Lions defender.) or else JKR is attempting, once again, to portray her villains as immensely powerful threatening bullies, who at the same time are loathed by everyone else and constantly losing.
* 'Weasley cannot save a thing,
He cannot block a single ring,
That's why Slytherins all sing:
Weasley is our King.
'Weasley was born in a bin
He always lets the Quaffle in
Weasley will make sure we win
Weasley is our King.'
Wow, rhymes and everything.
It's all adding to the evidence of who sent the valentine poem in CoS. *adjusts slipping tinhat*
* Harry could not help himself: abandoning his search for the Snitch, he wheeled around to watch Ron, a lone figure at the far end of the pitch, hovering before the three goalhoops while the massive Warrington pelted towards him.
Twice Harry forgets even to look for the Snitch, the next time for over a minute. Thank goodness this has no realistic effect on the outcome of the game!
And see again how subtly the size difference between Ron (who’s apparently a tall boy himself) and those nasty fatty Slytherins is reaffirmed. Why, it’s unfair that he should have to play them at all!
* '...come on now, Angelina, you can take him - turns out you can't...and Warrington drops the Quaffle and Katie Bell - er - drops it, too...'
The teams, despite the reputation everyone but Malfoy has as big and stupid, and Malfoy as so inept he has to buy his way on in the first place; actually appear fairly evenly matched - even Crabbe and Goyle are up to scratch (indeed, better than Ron, it appears.)
And the screw-ups also are equal - Harry's chasing watchstraps and missing out minutes, Draco's singing...
* '- and Pucey's dodged Alicia again and he's heading straight for goal, stop it, Ron!'
Gosh. Lots of fairly blatant cheating there, having an announcer instruct players, as well as the obvious and persistant bias he has (what's the point of having a prejudiced commentator? Doesn't that negate the entire point of having one at all? Although the bit where Lee inadvertently gets caught up with the game and forgets to root makes me laugh: '- This looks good - I mean bad - ')
Like, god forbid the commentator not be a Gryffindor. How would the readers know what to think?
* ...Harry saw the pug-faced Pansy Parkinson right at the front of the stands, her back to the pitch as she conducted the Slytherin supporters
Heh. They need conduction on how to chant a rude song? How very upper-class. I <3 Pansy.
* Malfoy's arm extended too, was reaching, groping…
It was over in two breathless, desperate, windswept seconds -
Malfoy's fingernails scrabbled the back of Harry's hand hopelessly -
This actually provoked genuine sympathy from me. Extremely rare impulse, that!
* ...it did not matter that Ron had let in those goals, nobody would remember as long as Gryffindor had won -
Aw. How big of you!
* 'Are you all right?'
'Course I am,' said Harry grimly, taking her hand and allowing her to pull him to his feet.
Am He-Man. Pain not hurt me! Grunt, grunt.
* 'It was that thug Crabbe,' said Angelina angrily, 'he whacked the Bludger at you the moment he saw you'd got the Snitch - but we won, Harry, we won!'
Fairly speedy reaction for someone apparently too slow to find their way onto a pitch by himself. Or did he throw it before being aware that the game was complete? (With anyone else, that would be like, the lamest excuse, but it’s likely quite viable with Crabbe, since he’s so "stupid".)
* Harry heard a snort from behind him and turned around, still holding the Snitch tightly in his hand: Draco Malfoy had landed close by. White-faced with fury, he was still managing to sneer.
'Saved Weasley's neck, haven't you?' he said to Harry. 'I've never seen a worse Keeper…but then he was born in a bin…did you like my lyrics, Potter?'
Harry didn't answer...
'We wanted to write another couple of verses!' Malfoy called, as Katie and Alicia hugged Harry. 'But we couldn't find rhymes for fat and ugly - we wanted to sing about his mother, see -'
"Did you like my lyrics?" Way to be subtle, man!
* ’Talk about sour grapes,' said Angelina, casting Malfoy a disgusted look.
Yeah. Any minute he’ll be off to drown himself in the showers or refuse to speak to the winner for a year.
* '- we couldn't fit in useless loser either - for his father, you know -'
Fred and George had realised what Malfoy was talking about. Halfway through shaking Harry's hand, they stiffened, looking round at Malfoy.
Heh. That just sums up the whole sportsman-like behaviour, or lack thereof, in these books for me - they don’t shake the opposing team’s hands (not that Slytherin made any effort to shake theirs, I’m sure) - they shake hands with their own team members.
* 'Leave it!' said Angelina at once, taking Fred by the arm. '...Let him yell, he's just sore he lost, the jumped-up little -'
Hee! Ironically Angelina sounds just like Malfoy, or the movie incarnation of him, here ("I'm going to get that jumped-up little Mudblood!")
* '- but you like the Weasleys, don't you, Potter?' said Malfoy, sneering. 'Spend holidays there and everything, don't you? Can't see how you stand the stink, but I suppose when you've been dragged up by Muggles, even the Weasleys' hovel smells OK -'
Interestingly, and in a change from GoF, Harry is no longer even mildly affected by insults about the Weasleys.
Indeed, in the last book, they’re his replacement family, rescuing him from the Dursleys, having him to stay, turning up at the tournament as relations and the closest Harry comes to tears is when Molly hugs him “like a mother”.
In OotP, he’s touched but irritated at Molly’s attempts at mothering, and rather than defend her and the rest of them as he did against Malfoy previously, he’s restraining George, and ironically in a very Malfoy-esque manner, looking for a teacher.
* Meanwhile, it was taking the combined efforts of Angelina, Alicia and Katie to stop Fred leaping on Malfoy, who was laughing openly.
Either the three girls are pretty weak, or else anger has given Fred Neville-esque HULK power.
* 'Or perhaps,' said Malfoy, leering as he backed away, 'you can remember what your mother's house stank like, Potter, and Weasleys pigsty reminds you of it -'
Perhaps. Movie!Harry can remember his parents, and PS!Harry can recall Hagrid's flying motorbike... Oh crap. I mean, boo, hiss! ;)
Seriously, though, is Harry reacting to the insult about his mother, or the implication that he hangs around the Weasleys because he misses his mother? Or both?
Probably the first, since it's simpler ;)
Mind you, he didn't get so irate at PS bit about his parents not knowing what was good for them...
And wow. Mummy and Daddy issues. Is there even a word for that? A Elektipus complex?
* Harry was not aware of releasing George, all he knew was that a second later both of them were sprinting towards Malfoy.
I guess if they're not aware of each other than they're not actually ganging up for an entirely unfair fight.
It's just like GoF - hey, the twins came out of nowhere! It was too late to stop ourselves from, again, outnumbering our opponents! Or even to try!
Which I wouldn't object to, btw - I've no doubt the Slytherins would equally have no qualms about that kind of thing; except we've seen no indication that the Slytherins pride themselves on their bravery and chivalry. You can do whatever you feel necessary, or you can take the moral highground, but both? That's just hypocrisy.
* ...with no time to draw out his wand...
They're allowed wands on the pitch?
* Malfoy was curled up on the ground, whimpering and moaning, his nose bloody; George was sporting a swollen lip; Fred was still being forcibly restrained by the three Chasers, and Crabbe was cackling in the background.
George has a swollen lip. And Ron had a bloody nose in PS after a fight with Malfoy. Maybe he has incredibly lucky aim, since he never appears to fight physically, even in defense?
(OMG an actual event requiring self-defense, and not a strawman, and would you believe it? It happens to a Slytherin! Which immediately negates it.)
And naturally, his wimpy reaction is all just evidence that Malfoy's a stupid baby next to Harry, who's suffered much worse pain (in fact, isn't there a line like that in PoA?)
Of course, if he'd fought back, it would have been evidence that he was a vicious bully.
Fred’s still being restrained.
And how far were Harry and George planning to go, anyway?
They had their opponent outnumbered, he was injured and unresisting, and still you need an Impediment Jinx and three chasers to prevent three boys beating up one smaller, and in two cases, younger boy. Classy.
And Crabbe’s cackling. I can only presume at Harry being knocked over backwards, since going from attempting to rescue helpless!ferret!Malfoy in GoF and earlier against Neville, to finding his pain hilarious would be:
a) a massive departure and
b) character development.
So I’m guessing that Crabbe, once more, has such slow reactions that his friend being beaten up hasn’t actually realized yet.
As I said before, he and Goyle aren’t the most ardous “bodyguards”. (And where did Goyle go, anyway? And Ron? I mean, I’m glad Ron wasn’t involved, since I don’t need to loathe another character on top of the ever-growing list, but isn’t it a bit unlikely that he missed the whole thing, upset or not?) I find it interesting that Crabbe didn’t even attempt to intervene, though, even on instinct like previously.
I guess we’re seeing a rare flicker of cunning here, and he’s possibly realised that in front of the entire school including teachers isn’t the best place. But then why would he throw the Bludger in the first place? God, how hard can it be to keep consistent, realistic characterisation for someone who doesn’t even talk?!
* 'I've never seen behaviour like it - back up to the castle, both of you, and straight to your Head of House's office! Go! Now.'
To be fair, Hooch also says she’s never seen a certain type of foul before in PoA, despite it apparently being a um…established foul.
I get the feeling she’s a) Gryffindor alumni and b) easily surprised.
* Harry and George turned on their heels and marched off the pitch, both panting, neither saying a word to the other. The howling and jeering of the crowd grew fainter and fainter until they reached the Entrance Hall, where they could hear nothing except the sound of their own footsteps. Harry became aware that something was still struggling in his right hand, the knuckles of which he had bruised against Malfoy's jaw. Looking down, he saw the Snitch's silver wings protruding from between his fingers, struggling for release.
Wow. So Harry’s unaware of anyone else in the world, is “panting”, punching every “inch of Malfoy”, “as hard as he can”; while Malfoy’s on his back “yelling” and “moaning”. And now Harry realises *cough* the Snitch is “struggling for release.”
Well! I don’t know about anyone else, but…*smokes cigarette* ;)
Also, malafede made the Best Comparison Ever and pointed out that Harry still holding the Snitch while beating someone up is a direct parallel (unintentional or not) with James in the Pensieve scene, who plays with his Snitch the whole time.
While addictedkitten wrote fight!meta and fic inspired from this chapter alone.
* She was wearing a Gryffindor scarf, but tore it from her throat with shaking hands as she strode towards them, looking livid.
She strode around behind her desk and faced them, quivering with rage as she threw the Gryffindor scarf aside on to the floor.
'Well?' she said. 'I have never seen such a disgraceful exhibition. Two on one! Explain yourselves!'
Wow. Go, McGonagall! Tearing off the scarf, indeed!
* 'Malfoy provoked us,' said Harry stiffly.
'Provoked you?' shouted Professor McGonagall, slamming a fist on to her desk… 'He'd just lost, hadn't he? Of course he wanted to provoke you! But what on earth he can have said that justified what you two -'
'He insulted my parents,' snarled George. 'And Harry's mother.'
Aw. Diddums. Then I guess you bear no responsibility for your actions at all. Self-control? For other people.
So I suppose by that logic, Harry’s insult about Draco’s parents means that he’s “justified” in attacking Harry in GoF. And the end of OotP, outnumbering him. Except, oh no, that also results in smackdowns for Draco. Silly me.
* 'But instead of leaving it to Madam Hooch to sort out, you two decided to give an exhibition of Muggle duelling, did you?' bellowed Professor McGonagall. 'Have you any idea what you've - '
McGonagall joins the list of liberal, caring-sharing types (well, Hagrid and Molly) who are shocked, shocked, I tell you! at people being prejudiced against Muggle-born wizards, but can't seem to keep from making derogatory remarks against Muggles themselves.
To be fair, last year they attacked with their wands. Maybe they’re trying to mix it up a bit?
Actually, there does appear to be a pattern to the Gryffindor-Slytherin altercations.
In PS, there’s physical fighting (Malfoy versus Ron, and Crabbe and Goyle versus Neville) and the threatened magical duel never materialises (in fact, Ron even suggests a ‘punch in the nose’ is a better tactic.)
In CoS, there’s Malfoy versus Harry at the duelling club.
In PoA, there’s physical…rough-housing? with the mud-throwing.
In GoF, magic is used again, with Malfoy’s attack on Harry pre-ferreting and Harry, the Twins, Ron and Hermione’s attack on the Slytherin trio at the end.
And now in OotP, there’s both physical fighting and magic applied ‘in defense’ of Harry.
* Dolores Umbridge was standing in the doorway wrapped in a green tweed cloak that greatly enhanced her resemblance to a giant toad, and was smiling in the horrible, sickly, ominous way that Harry had come to associate with imminent misery.
OMG, green. I bet she was rooting for Slytherin all along. She probably was one. Teh conspiracy!111 *breathes loudly through mouth*
And thank goodness Umbridge arrived, giving us someone to dislike in this situation and blame for George and Harry’s behaviour, other than George and Harry (and of course, Malfoy!)
* 'Now, you two had better listen closely. I do not care what provocation Malfoy offered you, I do not care if he insulted every family member you possess, your behaviour was disgusting and I am giving each of you a week's worth of detentions! Do not look at me like that, Potter, you deserve it! And if either of you ever -'
Heh. Was Harry glaring or attempting a bit of batted eyelashes?
I'm guessing the glaring. How dare I be punished, does she know who I am, haven't I suffered enough? etcetera.
Mind you, if either of them ever act up again, my faith in McGonagall actually doing anything is still not particularly high.
Heh, I'm like Harry in a way - she hasn't shown quite enough deference towards him to impress him, or quite enough disciplining him to impress me.
* 'I think they deserve rather more than detentions,' said Umbridge, smiling still more broadly.
'But unfortunately' she said, with an attempt at a reciprocal smile that made her look as though she had lockjaw, 'it is what I think that counts, as they are in my House, Dolores.'
Yeah. Lucky that. Otherwise they might have got harsher punishments, and Minerva would have lost the shiny cup she appears to value so highly.
(You cannot tell me that if the Slytherins had done something like that, they wouldn't have gotten a harsher punishment. In fact, iirc, after the PoA "trick" they all got detention and fifty points taken, and that was less serious, imho.)
Although I was impressed at McGonagall at least attempting to be polite.
* 'Well, actually, Minerva,' simpered Professor Umbridge, 'I think you'll find that what I think does count. Now, where is it? Cornelius just sent it…I mean,' she gave a false little laugh as she rummaged in her handbag, 'the Minister just sent it…’
Huh. I guess there are three conclusions one can make from that little slip.
Umbridge likes to name-drop, since she’s all about power and important friends and Slytherin things like that (Gryffindors don’t have important friends. Except that guy who ran the best (only?) school in Britain on top of being in charge of the Wizengamot and )
Umbridge has taken a shine for Fudge, in a pathetic Miss Moneypenny kind of way. Because women, even the ones in high-pressure jobs are silly like that.
Or Umbridge and Fudge actually have a thing going. Which is how women get to the top, presumably - on their backs.
* 'And you see now, don't you, Minerva, how right I was in attempting to stop the Gryffindor team re-forming? Dreadful tempers...'
Heh. Again, are we supposed to be disagreeing with Umbridge here? Because the team members appear to be proving her right.
And I don't why Umbridge shouldn't have supreme authority over Hogwarts. Dumbledore already does, and she can't be any worse than him - certainly her seemingly arbitrary and biased system of punishments for some, privileges for others isn't exactly unprecedented.
* Signed, Cornelius Fudge, Minister for Magic, Order of Merlin First Class, etc., etc."'
Fudge has an Order of Merlin?
* Harry felt the Snitch fluttering madly in his hand. 'Ban us?' he said, and his voice sounded strangely distant. 'From playing ...ever again?'
Poor Hawwy. Again, this part has almost none of the presumed intended effect on me, since:
a) The actual chances of the ban being enforced for the rest of Harry's lifetime are approximately 0.0000001 in a million.
Ooh, I'm dying of the suspense of wondering whether Dumbledore/McGonagall lift it at the start of HBP or silently at the end of OotP?
And will Harry win the next game as usual (he has to win his last game ever OMG!11 in seventh year, so the only mystery is HBP) or lose to evil opposition Cho/Zacharias/Malfoy since he’s got so much on his mind and hasn’t practiced in a year and anyway, he has more important things to think about, it’s all right for those petty people who can focus on athletics rivalries, blah blah herocakes?
b) I don’t actually think the punishment was hugely unfair.
I would have said that a term of suspension from sports would have done it myself, but all the horror from both characters and fandom about how ickle twins and Harry didn’t deserve it was rather lost on me.
When I was at school, (yup, a British school, and less than five years ago) a fight like that would have got you suspended from lessons for a week, never mind detention. And if you had the history that Fred, George and Harry have; probably expulsion.
Of course, I didn’t find the song or insults that shocking either, since I've actually been to a real-life sports match *gasp*.
In fact, just recently, there was a news report about people making monkey noises and throwing bananas at black players.
There was also controversy here, a while back, about David Beckham giving the finger to fans who were chanting about how his wife takes it up the arse and his kid should die.
So someone saying your momma is fat, and um, your brother is bad at playing? Prfrt.
* 'Yes, Mr Potter, I think a lifelong ban ought to do the trick,' said Umbridge, her smile widening still further as she watched him struggle to comprehend what she had said. 'You and Mr Weasley here.
How could you possibly ban someone from a lifetime of playing sport? Do you have some magical contract up (presumably not, since the twins fly out of Hogwarts) or do you just trust that they won’t buy new brooms and just play at home, or possibly/eventually for professional leagues?
This is such a paranoid, martyr fantasy.
* ‘…And I think, to be safe, this young man's twin ought to be stopped, too - if his teammates had not restrained him, I feel sure he would have attacked young Mr Malfoy as well.’
Heh. I felt almost sympathetic for Fred until he basically said ‘Umbridge is totally right, I would have!’
* ‘But I am not unreasonable, Professor McGonagall,' she continued, turning back to Professor McGonagall who was now standing as still as though carved from ice, staring at her. ‘The rest of the team can continue playing, I saw no signs of violence from any of them. Well...good afternoon to you.'
I actually think that is fairly reasonable, considering that Umbridge isn't exactly the most moderate of people - I've no doubt she could have banned the entire team, if she wanted.
In fact, the only reason for her not to, given how evilly she's been portrayed so far, is contrivance, so that JKR doesn't have to write Gryffindor losing.
* 'Banned,' said Angelina in a hollow voice… 'Banned. No Seeker and no Beaters...what on earth are we going to do?'
Um. Learn how not to beat people up? Actually lose a match, and gracefully, for once in your lives? Realise that there are more important things in life than a game?
Luckily, they end up doing none of these, but winning anyway!
I’m so glad everybody learned something. Except they learnt nothing; instead viewing themselves as the victims of every situation. Meanwhile, Fred and George go from beating up younger students to giving people brain damage; whereas Harry rises above his mistakes by um…threatening to curse Malfoy and having his minions group “defend” him by outnumbering the Slytherins and practicing hexes on them.
* It did not feel as though they had won the match at all.
Oh, poor them. When I read this chapter, I get this pain in my chest. I think it’s my heart, bleeding.
So, presumably if they’d won the fight and the match, no questions asked, they’d be thrilled; but actually facing consequences for their actions really brings them down.
* 'It's just so unfair,' said Alicia numbly. 'I mean, what about Crabbe and that Bludger he hit after the whistle had been blown? Has she banned him?'
Um. That is a slightly different situation.
The Gryffindors appear to have only the most basic understanding of the concept of rules at all. Any rule at all is like, totally unfair and bureaucratic, even ‘thou shalt not kill’, probably; and there’s absolutely no difference between any of them at all, so say, attempting an Unforgiveable and sneaking out of your dorm at midnight should receive equal punishment (which is to say, none, ideally.)
For starters, Crabbe didn’t throw a Bludger accompanied by Goyle, while the rest of the Slytherin team held back Malfoy from throwing more Bludgers.
For second, Crabbe didn’t have to be hexed to stop him continuing to throw Bludgers, neither did he keep throwing them once Harry was down and not fighting.
For thirds, Crabbe was applying actual game actions to outside the game, literally seconds after the game ended, while I don’t recall the game rules ever allowing punching.
I remember one of the twins throwing a bat at someone’s head while a game was in progress, and they weren’t punished at all (oh, except each team got a penalty.)
For fourths, Crabbe’s Bludger resulted in no noted injury whatsoever for Harry.
* 'No,' said Ginny miserably; she and Hermione were sitting on either side of Harry. 'He just got lines, I heard Montague laughing about it at dinner.'
Umbridge lines? I wouldn’t laugh at that, myself.
And see how Ginny cares about Quidditch now? And we still have the unveiling of her amazing Super Seeker Skills to go!
* 'And banning Fred when he didn't even do anything!' said Alicia furiously, pummelling her knee with her fist.
'It's not my fault I didn't,' said Fred, with a very ugly look on his face, 'I would've pounded the little scumbag to a pulp if you three hadn't been holding me back.'
Oh, poor you. With the sloppy job Harry and George were forced to bravely do alone, he likely only got squished into a lumpy paste.
Like I said, I actually did think that Umbridge banning Fred was unfair, since he didn’t attack; but since her assessment of the situation is by his own admission apt, I’m not so sure now.
And jeebus, they're sulky when they don't get their way, these twins. Hours later when they go to bed, they're still "glowering at everyone they pass".
Interesting adjective for Fred here, though - "very ugly". Like "vicious" for Hermione, earlier...
* 'Maybe this will all turn out to have been a bad dream...maybe I'll wake up tomorrow and find we haven't played yet…'
Oh for fuck’s sake. I see Gryffindor melodrama isn’t confined to Harry.
* The stolen Snitch zoomed over their heads.
Another oddly negative description.
* Hermione told him the full story; Harry could not bear to tell it again.
When she had finished, Ron looked more anguished than ever. ‘This is all my fault -'
'You didn't make me punch Malfoy,' said Harry angrily.
No. Malfoy made you punch Malfoy. With his magical powers of Imperius.
* '- it was that song that wound me up -'
'- it would've wound anyone up.'
Except if we had the Slytherins hissyfitting over a lame insult. Then it would be pathetic and childish and any attempt at retaliation would result in some teacher storming in, assessing how cowardly they are (unlike the Gryffindors of course, who attack two against one) and bouncing them against stone walls.
And of course, we’ve just had chapter and verse of how bravely Harry tolerates the constant taunts and is maturely above them, even amused. So now, for a change, we get saintly Harry making excuses for consoling Ron.
I love that Ron feels guiltier and more embarrassed over playing badly and thus almost preventing a Gryffindor win (OH NOES!111) than Harry appears to for his little outburst, thus losing Gryffindor their star Seeker (but not preventing later wins for the team - OH THANK GOD!1!)
I mean, I’m seeing lots of self-pity and excuses and OMG my hurting someone else may have accidentally hurt me, but actual guilt?
* 'Look, drop it, will you!' Harry burst out. 'It's bad enough, without you blaming yourself for everything!'
Goddamnit, Ron! There’s only room for one self-pitying martyr here, and that’s me!
* Ron said nothing… After a while he said in a dull voice, 'This is the worst I've ever felt in my life.'
'Join the club,' said Harry bitterly.
HAHAHAHA. Wow, Harry, worse than when Cedric DIED IN FRONT OF YOU? Worse than being tortured with Unforgiveables? Worse than seeing your dead parents in the Mirror of Erised and hearing their voices when Dementors approached?
Jesus, everyone should have such horrible problems.
* 'Well,' said Hermione, her voice trembling slightly. 'I can think of one thing that might cheer you both up.'…a broad smile spreading across her face. 'Hagrid’s back.'
Oh god.