I'm finding it hard to accept the impending doom that is my perpetual life of solitude here in Illinois. If only I knew when I will be living in California. I've been downloading episodes of the "L word" which I love. I was first drawn to it because Mia Kirshner stars in it, and I wanted to watch it back in February when it premiered on Showtime, ( Read more... )

Whoa, what a crazy ride. I'm in Illinois. I just got back from Florida with Ginny. Super fun. Before that I was living in London with random people. Super fun there as well. I currently reside in my Aunt's spare room with my stuff in bags and piles, spred out over a span of 2-3 houses in this state and Kentucky. I will not be returning to Kentucky ( Read more... )

What is reality? Reality by definition is the sudden grasp of awareness at your current situation.. mine being that fact that, not only am I going to fail college, but no one really cares that much about it. Yeah, I bitch about this alot don't I? It gets kinda fucking annoying doesn't it? Well, maybe if I keep agitating you, you will put that ( Read more... )

Today was really awful ( Read more... )

I tattoo my emotion on your soul. They will desert you. They will use you. They will not care. Who cares? Why do I? I hate myself. I really really dislike everything about me. I'm not going to make it. I'm not going to get accepted. I'm a complete fuck up. Don't be concerned now. No concern. I'm not worth worring about.

I just got off the phone with Jason. Something about that boy. I like him, don't get me wrong, but he seems to be pushing too hard. He wants and expects me to be his girlfriend just because he says he is sooooooo in love with me or whatever. I don't feel that way about anyone, and he shouldn't about me, and I really don't think he truly does. He ( Read more... )

I'm unsettled right now, despite the zen-like day I've had. It started with work-shop and tanning on the roof with like 10 of my sisters it was great. Then, Allison and I ventured off to Jacobson Park where we took many pictures, and rolled in the grass. It was delightful. I love taking pictures. Next up was return home, not before we hit up Wok 'N ( Read more... )

So anyway, today has been a little bit better. I'm really worried about writting this appeal to the board if it doesn't get accepted I will be kicked out. On the other hand, dad and I have been talking to an advisor from Brooks Institute of Photography in Santa Barbara, California which is exciting. I am waiting on acceptance there as well, and ( Read more... )

This weekend was really fun. I spent the majority of it in London staying at Robert's house. I swear, I will never get married, but if I were.. it would be to Robert because we are the true meaning of compatible. We just are. We hung out with Brent alot because he figured out how to play stuff we recorded on his video camera in reverse and it looks ( Read more... )

Wow. You think you can trust people. You think you can get help by being completely honest, and what does that get you? People talking behind your back and making everything worse than it already is. My problems with people are my business. The reason I post on this site is because I like to have it readily available for me to access on any ( Read more... )