Trust: n. Firm reliance on the integrity, ability, or character of a person or thing.
Wow. You think you can trust people. You think you can get help by being completely honest, and what does that get you? People talking behind your back and making everything worse than it already is. My problems with people are my business. The reason I post on this site is because I like to have it readily available for me to access on any computer, to post, to read, to remember. I didn't want to let anyone see this journal, but I trusted those who do read it. It seems kind of silly now to trust anyone. I'm not going to alter the way I am, and the feelings that I have, lord knows I never tell 100% of the problem, if I did.. all hell would break loose. It's just that sometimes people really dissapoint me. I am the most miserable peice of shit loser I know, but at least I don't lie, or connive, or try to bring others down. Tonight I realized the true color of some people, including my roommate, who is a great person. We shared something, we were honest. She told me she didn't want to be my roommate anymore. It hurt, but we talked and we are going to try and work things out. Apparently last night I said something really rude and it made her mad, but I can't remember, and I certainly don't remember her being upset, because even though I was drunk I still know if I made her upset, I should fix it. No one in this world will ever understand me, or her for that matter. Somehow, we worked it out, and for that I'm glad. Drama doesn't need to happen. That is all I have to say about that. Gin and I are fine. As long as other people don't get involved and fuck our shit up.. it's going to be like it was. I have nothing to hide, its raw emotion. Yeah, alot of times I read over them and say "my god, that was crazy, it wasn't even that bad" but I like to read it, and I don't delete it, and I shouldn't have to. It's a part of me, and I'm not ashamed. So in closing I guess I want to say thanks. Thanks for reading, and thanks for not showing my jounral to people who may or may not need to read it. If I can't trust you, who can I trust?