(no subject)
What is reality? Reality by definition is the sudden grasp of awareness at your current situation.. mine being that fact that, not only am I going to fail college, but no one really cares that much about it. Yeah, I bitch about this alot don't I? It gets kinda fucking annoying doesn't it? Well, maybe if I keep agitating you, you will put that smooth silver shaft to my temple and pull the trigger, ever so gracefully. Yeah. I'm to that point. I've realized failure, I'm embracing it, but with my history its hard to believe you aren't fishing my body out of the river below Clay's Ferry bridge. I hate my current situation. I hate my life. I hate the fact that I got myself into it, and there is no way out. I hate that no one gives a rat's ass. I have 3 finals tomorrow, and I haven't studied for any. I'm such a waste of time. I want to die. Or be happy. Or just be okay. Is being okay for once without worrying about every fucking thing to much to ask for? God, I just want to stop feeling like this. I want to know I am accepted.. AND going to Brooks. Or, I want to know that I will be at Eastern next fall. I want to be positive. I want people to care about me. I want people to pray for me. I wish everything would be okay.