i think this journal is at its end. there is not much more for me to say here... it has been a few years and in so many ways i have grown beyond its scope. i have found other ways to experience egress.

when i find it in me, i'll delete this.

today. today, interpol and the smashing pumpkins released new albums. and i almost purchased the special editions of both at newbury comics this afternoon before realizing i hadn't heard anything from either album. alas, reason took over. but these are two of my truly favourite bands... and both took me some time to come to adore ( Read more... )

i figured out why i like white people. why my general romantic interests lie in tall, skinny, white boys. why all my friends are white or fully-americanized asian. and i cringe thinking of myself as a totally americanized, wannabe-white chinese girl... but seriously now, white people are cool. people from other ethnic backgrounds... not so much ( Read more... )

i have had very little sleep in the past few days and i would like to get some tonight so i'm going to jot down somethings and pass out ( Read more... )

so here is all i would like to say to you... before i can release this void i have dead clamped in my palms like wilting flowers, drooping, losing petals and power. often there is nothing or little left about you that irradiates the shades cast over my face. but sometimes. sometimes- like right this very instant, i think of you ( Read more... )

he lacks intrigue. that's exactly what it is... i figured it out today. he lacks the "that"... something internal and independent and artistic i can't quite figure out but appreciate ( Read more... )

a short inventory of my relationship past (since becoming a real person in '04 ( Read more... )

existential crisis averted. or suffered and overcome. i've maintained anti-social tendencies except with john. john is my favourite person. we enjoy the same things while balancing each other in being distinct opposites. i am dark and broody while he is chipper and consistently energized. plus we somehow always have life adventures ( Read more... )

we are three months into this year... and what have i learned? a couple things to mention ( Read more... )

i have decided to be in worcester for the summer. umass worcester medical school has given me a research fellowship that will pay $4000 from june to august plus room, and travel expenses. so back to the east... since spring break, i have definitely decided that i prefer the west. well, i would like to see more of nyc. but the west... stark beaches ( Read more... )