i love the sound of you walking away
existential crisis averted. or suffered and overcome. i've maintained anti-social tendencies except with john. john is my favourite person. we enjoy the same things while balancing each other in being distinct opposites. i am dark and broody while he is chipper and consistently energized. plus we somehow always have life adventures.
like last night. he wanted to go clubbing and picked this place that played industrial disco... then we got there and it was a goth club. we were both wearing jeans. my strongest memory is when i first got in, i stood in the main danceroom that blasted this slow and dreamy, macabre, deep-bass beat. there were a couple clumps of people here and there dressed in varying, over-stylized goth apparel... stuff i worn when i was 13... in this environment i would have given my soul to be in then. a couple people danced- or rather swayed around. up above were these rotating bright blue spotlights that illuminated the various figures it landed on. and i stood there. taking in the scene, watching john's body moving completely engrossed within the music, and mostly wondering... "how the fuck did i get here?" in a cosmic sense of course.
then i went down to the bar, decided my inner goth was really a dark, broody elitist... who would enjoy getting quite plesantly smashed. so i introduced myself to a guy asked him how he was and gave him $5 to buy me a jack and coke. then the part i really didn't expect was a jack and coke and cosmo later, my tongue was in his mouth fiddling with his tongue ring. that was fun. but the part that i really truly didn't expect was that he was actually an interesting person. whose father grew up in acton, who hated tramp stamps, who managed a vegan health food store but ate meat. yet the part i entirely expected was that he was much older than me.
so it would seem that everytime john and i are together, i get in these wtf situations. but in an entirely amused, excellent sense. i need novelty. and i need audacity. to feel like there is more in this life. beyond classes and assigned reading... beyond societal convention... beyond some powerless struggle to function as we ought to.
and well as a total tangent, my boobs have grown in the past week. weird, no? like sophie calle's.
like last night. he wanted to go clubbing and picked this place that played industrial disco... then we got there and it was a goth club. we were both wearing jeans. my strongest memory is when i first got in, i stood in the main danceroom that blasted this slow and dreamy, macabre, deep-bass beat. there were a couple clumps of people here and there dressed in varying, over-stylized goth apparel... stuff i worn when i was 13... in this environment i would have given my soul to be in then. a couple people danced- or rather swayed around. up above were these rotating bright blue spotlights that illuminated the various figures it landed on. and i stood there. taking in the scene, watching john's body moving completely engrossed within the music, and mostly wondering... "how the fuck did i get here?" in a cosmic sense of course.
then i went down to the bar, decided my inner goth was really a dark, broody elitist... who would enjoy getting quite plesantly smashed. so i introduced myself to a guy asked him how he was and gave him $5 to buy me a jack and coke. then the part i really didn't expect was a jack and coke and cosmo later, my tongue was in his mouth fiddling with his tongue ring. that was fun. but the part that i really truly didn't expect was that he was actually an interesting person. whose father grew up in acton, who hated tramp stamps, who managed a vegan health food store but ate meat. yet the part i entirely expected was that he was much older than me.
so it would seem that everytime john and i are together, i get in these wtf situations. but in an entirely amused, excellent sense. i need novelty. and i need audacity. to feel like there is more in this life. beyond classes and assigned reading... beyond societal convention... beyond some powerless struggle to function as we ought to.
and well as a total tangent, my boobs have grown in the past week. weird, no? like sophie calle's.