Hetalia Asylum - 10
Wanted to get this out quicker, but my little girl's been ill on and off since the year started, so as soon as she was at school, had to catch up with uni work. But I'm pretty much caught up now, yay, so I finally have time to update!
Last time, England popped out to make friends and met a fellow nation and everyone loved Italy until he was caught in bed with China. What'll happen this time?
Instantly after hopping out of bed with his boyfriend, Russia starts fantasising about the other housemates.
And although his boyfriend is right there in front of him, Germany just can't get over catching Italy with China. The fact that Italy was actually rejecting China does not seem to register with anyone. Poor Italy. :(
Stop taking your romance tips from Twilight, you guys. It's not romantic to watch people while they sleep!
What's this?! Have America and Germany, both heatbroken by Italy, found comfort in each others arms?!
Maybe. Maybe not.
:D
Germany: Waaaaaah, Italy!
Oh get over it, drama queen. He didn't even DO anything!
Oooh! Oooh! FIIIIIIIIGHT!
Yeah, Italy was taking a tray of food into the kitchen when he was ambushed by America, who, if you recall, couldn't hit him in the last update because he was guarded by cheese sandwiches.
And Italy wins!
England: No, nothing much happening here, just my housemates trying to kill each other for not cheating.
China, meanwhile, has escaped all criticism and gets to carry on making out with Russia.
Catch.
Passive aggressive 'why won't you call meeeee?' messages.
Oh, hey there, Not!Seychelles!
Not!Seychelles: Just wanted to call and tell you I think you're a jerk. :D
Germany: So, how's your sex life?
England: ...Fine, thanks. Hows yours?
England and his passive aggressive ex-friend are now BFF's again.
Germany happily hates China.
And despite bonking France and having his heart stomped, he still finds enough love for England.
And Japan.
Germany: Hey, let's hang out and talk about how much the economy sucks right now!
And this is my first look at England's new uniform! Hello sailor!
I hate that bath so effing much right now.
We interupt your crush to bring you FURY.
Germany: Looking at your arse reminds me of how China tried to tap that. RAEG.
Italy: Why is everyone being so mean to me?! I turned China down!
I know, Italy, I know.
Italy: We're through!
Italy: And I'm through with America too!
And suddenly, they're squealing about art and music.
Germany: Oh that reminds me of all the good times we had together. Before he broke my heart. Woe!
So it turns out that wearing the scarf all the time is not a great idea.
Russia: Never again the burning times.
England returns home. It's not important. I just wanted a picture of him in that outfit. Best work outfit so far, Y/Y?
OH SHIT! Russia's passed out! Could we be about to lose a housemate?!
Apparently not.
America: RAGE FOREVER.
Germany: Mmm, what a dashing fellow Japan is.
Japan: ...Ew.
Russia: I don't feel so good. *swoon*
Germany: Yeah, whatever. You just reminded me of that time your boyfriend tried to steal mine and now I'm angry again.
Germany: Now GTFO.
Russia: *becomes one with Germany*
Finally, Russia is temporarily revived by the spray from the broken bath.
OMG LOL.
XD THIS IS ~FABULOUS~!!!
This, on the other hand, is not.
Germany: ♥
Germany: Dear diary. Today I broke the TV. Must not tell England, or he'll throw me to the sea lice.
England: Oh hey, just off the repair the smegging TV. Again.
Germany: I know nothing!
England: ARRRRRRRRRSE!
Germany: It was probably Italy!
America: OMGYAY puddles!
Italy: *ditto*
Puddles are awesome, OK?
FFS you guys, stop destroying things!
Germany: Mmm, I'm hungry.
America: Mmm, we could use the everlasting flames of our fury to cook stuff.
Obvious joke is obvious.
So obvious, even America picked up on it straight away.
America: *rage poke*
China: Congratulations on having friends!
Russia is not happy to find America in the bath.
Germany plays chess.
America: So China, how's your love life?
China: Better than yours, aru.
And he proves it.
Not to be oudone, America makes out with Japan.
America: Thanks, that was great! I have to go tell China now, OK?
Japan: I feel so used!
And England has been promoted! Woohoo! Surely it can't be that long until freedom!
Hetalia Asylum Archive
Part 01 | Part 02 | Part 03 | Part 04
Part 05 | Part 06 | Part 07 | Part 08 | Part 09
Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13
Last time, England popped out to make friends and met a fellow nation and everyone loved Italy until he was caught in bed with China. What'll happen this time?
Instantly after hopping out of bed with his boyfriend, Russia starts fantasising about the other housemates.
And although his boyfriend is right there in front of him, Germany just can't get over catching Italy with China. The fact that Italy was actually rejecting China does not seem to register with anyone. Poor Italy. :(
Stop taking your romance tips from Twilight, you guys. It's not romantic to watch people while they sleep!
What's this?! Have America and Germany, both heatbroken by Italy, found comfort in each others arms?!
Maybe. Maybe not.
:D
Germany: Waaaaaah, Italy!
Oh get over it, drama queen. He didn't even DO anything!
Oooh! Oooh! FIIIIIIIIGHT!
Yeah, Italy was taking a tray of food into the kitchen when he was ambushed by America, who, if you recall, couldn't hit him in the last update because he was guarded by cheese sandwiches.
And Italy wins!
England: No, nothing much happening here, just my housemates trying to kill each other for not cheating.
China, meanwhile, has escaped all criticism and gets to carry on making out with Russia.
Catch.
Passive aggressive 'why won't you call meeeee?' messages.
Oh, hey there, Not!Seychelles!
Not!Seychelles: Just wanted to call and tell you I think you're a jerk. :D
Germany: So, how's your sex life?
England: ...Fine, thanks. Hows yours?
England and his passive aggressive ex-friend are now BFF's again.
Germany happily hates China.
And despite bonking France and having his heart stomped, he still finds enough love for England.
And Japan.
Germany: Hey, let's hang out and talk about how much the economy sucks right now!
And this is my first look at England's new uniform! Hello sailor!
I hate that bath so effing much right now.
We interupt your crush to bring you FURY.
Germany: Looking at your arse reminds me of how China tried to tap that. RAEG.
Italy: Why is everyone being so mean to me?! I turned China down!
I know, Italy, I know.
Italy: We're through!
Italy: And I'm through with America too!
And suddenly, they're squealing about art and music.
Germany: Oh that reminds me of all the good times we had together. Before he broke my heart. Woe!
So it turns out that wearing the scarf all the time is not a great idea.
Russia: Never again the burning times.
England returns home. It's not important. I just wanted a picture of him in that outfit. Best work outfit so far, Y/Y?
OH SHIT! Russia's passed out! Could we be about to lose a housemate?!
Apparently not.
America: RAGE FOREVER.
Germany: Mmm, what a dashing fellow Japan is.
Japan: ...Ew.
Russia: I don't feel so good. *swoon*
Germany: Yeah, whatever. You just reminded me of that time your boyfriend tried to steal mine and now I'm angry again.
Germany: Now GTFO.
Russia: *becomes one with Germany*
Finally, Russia is temporarily revived by the spray from the broken bath.
OMG LOL.
XD THIS IS ~FABULOUS~!!!
This, on the other hand, is not.
Germany: ♥
Germany: Dear diary. Today I broke the TV. Must not tell England, or he'll throw me to the sea lice.
England: Oh hey, just off the repair the smegging TV. Again.
Germany: I know nothing!
England: ARRRRRRRRRSE!
Germany: It was probably Italy!
America: OMGYAY puddles!
Italy: *ditto*
Puddles are awesome, OK?
FFS you guys, stop destroying things!
Germany: Mmm, I'm hungry.
America: Mmm, we could use the everlasting flames of our fury to cook stuff.
Obvious joke is obvious.
So obvious, even America picked up on it straight away.
America: *rage poke*
China: Congratulations on having friends!
Russia is not happy to find America in the bath.
Germany plays chess.
America: So China, how's your love life?
China: Better than yours, aru.
And he proves it.
Not to be oudone, America makes out with Japan.
America: Thanks, that was great! I have to go tell China now, OK?
Japan: I feel so used!
And England has been promoted! Woohoo! Surely it can't be that long until freedom!
Hetalia Asylum Archive
Part 01 | Part 02 | Part 03 | Part 04
Part 05 | Part 06 | Part 07 | Part 08 | Part 09
Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13