Cucumber Thief Song (feat. Kelly Dodson)

[ttlynotblue]

STOP!
Do you know where your Cucumis sativus is at this time of night?
I don't mean to cause alarm but I have very strong reason to believe there may be a cucumber thief on the loose. Over the last three weeks I have come home to find any cucumbers I had left out on the counter to of mysteriously vanished during my absents. Even more alarming, the

Comments

[whitelotustea]

What?

[ttlynotblue]

To quote;

"The Cucumis sativus is a widely cultivated plant in the gourd family Cucurbitaceae, which includes squash, and in the same genus as the muskmelon."

[whitelotustea]

Well, that's...interesting.

[ttlynotblue]

Cucumbers or the cucumber thief?

[violet_diva]

... Cucumbers? You're making a fuss over a vegetable?

[ttlynotblue]

They're not just any vegetable! Because they're mostly water, they are not as high in nutrients as other vegetables. Cucumbers are 95% water, you know!

[violet_diva]

I suppose. Still, it isn't a big deal, just go get more cucumbers.

[ttlynotblue]

Then they'll just go missing again!

[tenshinomakai]

And you're sure it wasn't Poncho?

[ttlynotblue]

What interest would Poncho have in cucumbers? ... What interest would you have in cucumbers?!

Where were you the afternoon of August twenty first?

[tenshinomakai]

I don't remember. Maybe I was kissing you~

[ttlynotblue]

Ki- I- That's irrelevant!

And wasn't on the twenty first.

[Voice]

[throwtheroses]

Awwwo? Who'd wanna steal cucumbers? They're so... Gyyyaaack.

[Voice]

[ttlynotblue]

Gyyyaaack? Usually they go CRUNCH!

What cucumber did you eat, my friend?

[Voice]

[throwtheroses]

Errr, no I mean, they taste really bland. I don't see how one could really find them tasty at all.

But at least it isn't beanstalk, those are worse.

[Voice]

[ttlynotblue]

Hmmm... You sound more like a pickler wolf than a slicer one.

See, there are two main types of cucumbers: slicers are the cucumbers that you find in salads while picklers are used to make pickles.

Beanstalk beans are worse. I had a cousin who ate those once. Poor guy didn't have a clue what they were till it was too late.

[scaronhisface]

Sounds like you have a pest.

[ttlynotblue]

A frightfully clever and daring one, at that.

[scaronhisface]

...Are you sure they're just not taking bites when you aren't looking?

[ttlynotblue]

Urd doesn't eat cucumbers.