Ancient Wounds pt 32iii
Author: yours truly, ExMaverick aka Jess
Title: Ancient Wounds
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Prequel to my vampire fic Deepest Shadow. Ville recounts the events of his mortal life growing up in the poverty of 20th century Finland, wrought with grief, sex, romance, passion and abuse leading into his birth to darkness.
His lengthy tales are imparted to the sleepy mind of his young lover, but only in the seclusion of his own darkest thoughts does he begin to relive the greatest obsessions and deepest hurts rooted in his bygone and decadent time.
Warnings: Violencia
Pairing: Vam,Ville/Jonne, Ville/OC (in parts)
Previous Parts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5i, 5ii, 6, 7, 8, 9i, 9ii, 10i, 10ii, 10iii,11, 12i, 12ii, 13, 14i, 14ii, 14iii, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20i, 20ii,
21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32i, 32ii
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When my senses came crashing back to me post-coitus the reality of what I had just done made me want to wretch and sob. But shameful and guilt-laden as the reality of my seduction had been the goal of it was still very much tangible; Potentially his feelings for me could gain me my freedom. What horribly twisted logic that love of the flesh could cause someone to be held prisoner and set free again.
He had dressed quickly after our passionate few moments, back into finery save for his bare chest. I had crawled back into my linen shirt very much as sporadically, having like Adam himself become freshly aware of my nudity and the disgrace that clung to my skin like his scent. It seemed this time that I had been made a whore of my own accord. The sight that seemed to embody this whole sordid affair, the thing which broke my heart and encompassed my entire existence up until now was the image of my clothing lying on the bedroom floor. I had stared at it, the beautiful crisp ivory material crumpled and soiled on the floor, that thing which has been so beautiful and pure and virtuous now trampled and cast asunder.
“I’ll send for William to clean you up,” my Master sighed, his hair now fully back to its immaculate state; his voice was flat and lifeless, I hated it. “You look a mess”
I shivered upon the bed like a leaf upon a footpath, the anger and the hatred shuddering through me so passively it made me feel ill. I would have sold my soul if it would have struck him down, but then again, had I not sold that already?
“Have I always made you so sick you couldn’t bare it to look at me after what you do?” I whispered with my eyes cast to my bare thighs and hands shaking in my lap “Have I always disgusted you so much?”
He sighed. Perhaps laughed just a little, I forget. He told me something about how I was far too dramatic and should have been born a girl if I was going to always talk like one.
“Do hush now, Ville” He said, now completely dressed and glancing to a watch which made it about eleven o’ clock keen I suspected to visit his lust on my brothers before sunrise “You know that I adore you. I adore you like one might a panting or a fine wine. You know in what sense I adore you”
I began to weep instantaneously, quietly and pathetically. William had since arrived and came baring clean clothes in which I was to be dressed. William had remained one of the greatest curiosities of the manor in my many years of servitude, for he had been about my age when I had first arrived and had repulsively remained so in appearance since. His ebony hair about his neck and dark eyes blanched his white skin further, the child of no less than sixteen years a child still ten years later. I muttered curses under my breath while he set about bringing me to my feet and removing my filthy ivory shirt, all the while my eyes fixed to the floor.
“You say you adore us but can you say that we hold any real love for you,” I rasped forcing myself into britches and covering my quivering body “when you’re so damned hideous inside it makes it hard not to empty our stomachs’ when you touch us?”
He turned from his table to look at me which a faintly amused, quizzically annoyed expression. William all the while continued his work, seemingly deaf to the ongoing conversation.
“Do you have even the slightest idea what I have had to do” I continued ,voice beginning to break “to keep the family you robbed me of safe?”
Master Vuori snorted “Ville, that’s quite enou-””
“No, that’s not enough!” I shouted, the full throws of my emotion and tears causing any composure I had to buckle ceremoniously, slapping William’s hand from the buttons of my new shirt “I have been your slave since I came here and all for the love of a mother that died without me at her side. For a brother who grew up without me there! You took from me the only person who made me feel I could love again and dragged me into the dark to keep you company in your sick, filthy existence. I hate you”
My lord’s face became angry, but he stood motionless and flashed only the seething blue of his eyes “Hold your tongue you useless piece of flesh or I swear you’ll be sorry”
I laughed, the hot salty tears rolling down my face, driven mad by grief and his words, the years of abuse flooding me like the river banks that swallowed all thoughts of my father years beyond memory before.
“You make me laugh sir,” I grinned, swaggering theatrically “you call me beautiful and yet disgusting, you tell me I am useless while you use me. Yes, I am a piece of flesh…”
I paused, lowering my voice with venom-
“…yet even I won’t have you”
At that moment William moved his hands to fix my hair, and in a furious rage I grabbed him my the neck and with one swift motion twisted and broke it. The next few moments seemed to move slower that usual time. The image of Williams lifeless eyes staring up at me from the floor, the blood that pooled on the floor from the wound that the floor made when he hit it upon the crown of his skull, the look on my Master’s eyes as he began to screech at what I had done.
The blonde tyrant cradled his limp body in his arms and wept over him screaming at me all the while. I think the shock of what I had done must have made the whole horrid event silent because I can only remember a few thing that he screamed at me;
‘Killer of killers’ ‘ sinful slayer of the innocent’ and , most gloriously “Leave now, and never ever return”.
I left him there weeping bloody tears over poor William’s tiny body and fled to my chambers. Thrusting into a small satchel a handful of personal effects including my mother‘s letter, and of course, my father’s knife I pulled on the first jacket that came to hand and ran out of the manor into July’s cool night.
My heart was split in twain at the prospect of my finally claimed freedom, such happiness washed over me I could scarcely believe it! I was a free man, at last! But I had killed to be thusly. William had bore me no harm in that most darkest decade. I had killed innocence, I would have to grapple with that for the rest of my long existence, but for now, wonderfully my greatest fear was but to get as far away as I could as soon as I could.
The Buck’s Inn was my natural first port of call, and by a great chance of luck the barman informed me that my brother had been staying in one of the larger rooms since the night of our meeting in hopes I would return. On being escorted upwards into the seedy establishment (which I loved so very dearly, might I hasten to add) I found Jesse in a room far more luxurious than one would have placed in such a working man’s haunt. He flung his arms around me and grinned vastly from ear to ear, laughing all the while. I told him what I had done and all that had happened, omitting of course the vampiric side of the matter.
“Ville, does this mean-”
“Yes, yes Jess. Thank heaven, yes it does” I smirked embracing him again gleefully.
“So you’ll come back with me to Helsinki then? What about your belongings..” He mused excitedly.
“Everything of value I have right with me here. Sadly all the clothes I have in world at present are those you see upon me now, but I suppose that is not a problem”
Jesse nodded, the reflection of me in my youth, remarking that money he had and I would have anything in the way of dress I desired when we reached the city.
“Well from what you’ve told me we should go as soon as possible, who knows if he should change his mind and word may reach of what you did to his companion”
I thought on it. I was in no danger of that but what did my brother think of me for it, so cast in the light of murderer as I was.
“You did what must have been done, let’s not speak of it further,” he said reading my mind better than any immortal mind could ever hope to “I’ll arrange for a carriage to come for us immediately”
“Belay that thought Jesse, I have a few matters that need attending to before we leave. It shan’t take long. We must go before sunrise” I said, suddenly aware of the difficulties of my state. He smiled and shook his head in acceptance, not thinking on it further.
“Alright Ville, I’ll go ahead and make plans for our departure within the hour”
Elated I left to find a bar hand, leaving my brother to arrange our transport downstairs. Finding the slurred proprietor of the establishment in a busy hallway, I was then directed to a small, grubby single room upstairs towards my goal. Bursting in unceremoniously I found a rough, gristle-faced drunk standing over a bed looming over my beauteous and bewildered young Suvi. With a boomingly authorative voice I demanded that he unhand her, that I was an immensely powerful Lord and that I was stealing her away to be my bride, and that any attempts to stop me would result in a duel to the death which I would surely win.
Frightened and swaying he scrambled from the room, and I triumphant strode across the filthy bed, gathering her giggling form in my arms and whisked her downstairs where I paid and instructed four young gentlemen that anything she valued was to be packed up for loading within the hour and until then she was to have anything she desired from the kitchen and bar until such time we depart. I also declared to that same drunken owner of the Inn that she was no longer in his service, and gave him coin for his losses.
When the carriage had arrived and all parties properly introduced, the world was looking as if it could perhaps hold some happiness in it for me after all.