ancient wounds pt 27
Author: yours truly, ExMaverick aka Jess
Title: Ancient Wounds
Rating: R
Summary: Prequel to my vampire fic Deepest Shadow. Ville recounts the events of his mortal life growing up in the poverty of 20th century Finland, wrought with grief, sex, romance, passion and abuse leading into his birth to darkness.
His lengthy tales are imparted to the sleepy mind of his young lover, but only in the seclusion of his own darkest thoughts does he begin to relive the greatest obsessions and deepest hurts rooted in his bygone and decadent time.
Warnings: Blood, angst, abuse.
Pairing: Vam,Ville/Jonne (in parts)
Previous Parts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5i, 5ii, 6, 7, 8, 9i, 9ii, 10i, 10ii, 10iii,11, 12i, 12ii, 13, 14i, 14ii, 14iii, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20i, 20ii,
21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26
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And thou art dead, as young and fair
As aught of mortal birth;
And form so soft, and charms so rare,
Too soon return'd to Earth!
Though Earth receiv'd them in her bed,
And o'er the spot the crowd may tread
In carelessness or mirth,
There is an eye which could not brook
A moment on that grave to look.
I will not ask where thou liest low,
Nor gaze upon the spot;
There flowers or weeds at will may grow,
So I behold them not:
It is enough for me to prove
That what I lov'd, and long must love,
Like common earth can rot;
To me there needs no stone to tell,
'T is Nothing that I lov'd so well.
‘And Thou Art Dead, As Young and Fair’
Lord Byron 1812
……..
I lay on the stone floor shivering with the cold, my rest stinging with dried tears and stomach cramping with hunger. I hadn’t been able to move my legs since the night before, and my thighs were still streaked with my blood. My head throbbed in the darkness as flickers of the night before came into my thoughts like nightmares when one is asleep.
“Oh god please don’t do this, please get off me…I..I..”
“Gag him. If he bites me I’ll be to tempted to just off the little whore”
“Shall I break his legs?”
I shuddered and gripped my body as if I would be sick. My knees ached from where Mikael has kicked them in, and though they would soon heal, there was still great pain. They had strung me up and used me until it was nearly dawn and left me on the floor where I still remained. Images of Henri buried inside me and tearing me pierced my thoughts and made me weep through the silence, remembering how he’s forced himself inside my body and how Antonious had held my face so I had to watch. I felt more filthy than I ever had in my life, even more than when it was just Master Vuori.
“ Watch how he cries when you touch him here”
I thought I would die if I did not stay awake that night. The pain was the most intense I had ever felt. My ribs where terribly bruised and my wrists hurt when I tried to move them to prop my head up from the freezing stone. The clothing from my legs had been completely torn away and the hem of my long white shirt was a fettered brown colour from the blood that it had mopped up and had dried there. I cringed at the thought that they could come back at any moment.
They had passed me round like some cheap brothel boy. I was so ashamed of myself. I thought perhaps if I had just held my tongue they wouldn’t have hurt me so badly, but deep within my conscience some pitiful logic told me that there was nothing I could have done to stop it. Most of me wished they had just fed on me, nearly dried me up. Perhaps then what remained of my tattered dignity could have stayed in tact.
I wondered how long I would remain down here, if I would ever walk the crisp Finnish night’s again , smell the river far off or hear the wild dogs baying in the woods. I hadn’t heard anything for so long. I didn’t even know how long I’d been kept down here. It felt like years even though I was certain that was impossible. Or was it? I did not even know anymore.
What would my mother have said if she could see me like this? Paying for her bed and board with my body and my life. I thought of my brother. I wondered what he looked like after all these years. How long had it been since I last saw his smiling face, seven years? Seven long years. I sighed audibly, you’re a young man now and I wasn’t there to watch you grow up. I wondered what would become of me in a place like this.
I waited on the stone floor gripped in pain until the dawn, and the dawn after that. I shut my eyes and slept night after night feeding on the vermin as I always had. When I awoke one evening, though I didn’t know it, it was my 20th day underground and as if a harbinger of hope, candlelight poured into the room from the once locked door. It was Master Vuori.
“Come, Little Prince" he said "that is quite enough”