Ancient Wounts Pt 18
Hey there :) as promised more has been churned out, mostly due to the pouring rain confining me to my house (and computer hehe) and a friend who left me with nothing to do...it is for these wonderful reasonsthat dear vammers may reap teh benifits of my boredom:p much love!
Author: yours truly, ExMaverick aka Jess
Title: Ancient Wounds
Rating: R for blood
Summary: Prequel to my vampire fic Deepest Shadow. Ville recounts the events of his mortal life growing up in the poverty of 20th century Finland, wrought with grief, sex, romance, passion and abuse leading into his birth to darkness.
His lengthy tales are imparted to the sleepy mind of his young lover, but only in the seclusion of his own darkest thoughts does he begin to relive the greatest obsessions and deepest hurts rooted in his bygone and decadent time.
Warnings: Blood, angst, abuse.
Pairing: Vam,Ville/Jonne (in parts)
Previous Parts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5i, 5ii, 6, 7, 8, 9i, 9ii, 10i, 10ii, 10iii,11, 12i, 12ii, 13, 14i, 14ii, 14iii, 15, 16, 17
Throughout my life, both natural and preternatural, I have sought comfort in the arms and hearts of those who would have me, out of my most great and horrifying fear of being alone. I could never be alone, not for long, no. Is that so selfish, to need someone to care for you? Is it wrong to depend on someone else to stay sane? Some nights I am almost frightened to answer myself.
I can hear you laughing just a little when you ponder all of this. One of the so called ‘un-dead’ scared to be alone? Solitary murderers needing the warmth of oh-so-human-comfort to continue, surely not. Mm, if that’s so I’m disappointed that I’ve managed to teach you nothing with my words, my dearest.
I have always needed comfort. I have always needed love. It’s the last shred of humanity that survives in all of us after our natural lives are long gone, the one thing that we feel stronger than any living being ever can. It is that same soul-fulfilling desire that may eventually drive us mad if we do not have it or kill us if our hearts are left to break.
Even in my mortal existence, particularly towards its end, when starved of love I threw myself into the embrace of those who would manipulate it, to mould it for their own gain or twist it to control me for rotten purposes.
I also confess that heartbreak drove me into the wake of the most changing chapter of my life, and the gateway into which hand in hand my soul and destiny would be bound to one another for all time…
……………………………….................................
“Dear God what have I done to be deserving to all of this?!” I pounded my fists into the stony hard chest of my Master, who crushed me to him in the confines of my bedroom upon the expanse of finery that was my bed. He had brought me back from the cathedral, though I do not remember how, but only knew that I had wept the entirety and that my now married lover had made no move to get to me. The night was still sickeningly young and I resented everything.
Master Vuori sighed and ran his callous cold fingertips through my hair which was damp with the sweat of frustration, and every so thumbed away the burning tears that ran from swollen red eyes onto my white cheeks. He made a low considering sound before speaking.
“God is laughable my boy,” he was calm, soothing and had a muted kindness in his voice “you and I know this. The ways of God are bloody and wasteful and exceedingly dangerous. None of us know what we deserve in all eventuality, that is the harshness of it…”
I said nothing. I was bawling like a small child. I thought if the sorrow continued to come from me I would be sick or go mad. He continued-
“And yes before you say a word I know that you would not have me hurt your deceitful beau. You are too innocent and too pure to ask anything such as that from me. As much as I would enjoy it I will not harm him if it is your will” he must have read my mind, for I knew that he could do, and he spoke truth.
“Ville,” he whispered, my trembling howls now a quiet and rapid torrent of breath “I can make it so that the world shall never hurt this way again. I can make you your own master, put a world without time or hurt at your feet and give you a life where words cannot express the vibrancy of its experiences”
I choked on the tears in my raw throat in an attempt to clear it.
“And what does this world require of me?”
He bent his head to my ear and kissed my jaw line, whispering thickly-
“just your life”
I shivered with the carnality of his tone. I wrapped my arms around his strong neck and kissed him on the mouth hard and fervently, sending him my answer in my thoughts for his to read, simply saying:
“I am yours to break or burst”
And with that, a sharp pain enveloped me as he sank his cruel teeth into my throat, a deep kiss of hurt and promise. I felt the familiarity of his ivory pints penetrating veins and arteries, slowly draining the warmth dancing on my skin into him. But this time I knew he would not stop. I felt my racing heart slow to a dull, rhythmic thud against my prominent ribs.
It seemed my consciousness was flooded with the room and the smell of the wood and all its dark colours, the endless rich variations of brown and gold and deep red that surrounded us. At one point as he fed my head dropped limply back in his hands, and as I peered up at the ceiling I swore I could see into the sky, at the shining starlight fractured and grey and sullen yet grand.
Everything went dark as he lay me into the down of my bedclothes, and from that dark visions were born. I saw the Master young and hansom in the robes of his boyhood as a man my age, walking the nights of my homeland centuries before my birth, the colours danced and faded in front of me imparting tales too lengthy to mention. I knew then I was seeing his memories, his thoughts. Strange, that it did not occur to me that our minds are like doors, and if he could step through mine I in turn could enter his.
The visions were gone. I grew very, very cold in his arms before I felt myself slipping away. He had all but drained me completely. I knew then that I would die.
Through the blind cold uncertainty I felt the beginnings of a kiss. His kiss. A kiss that was hot and carried heated blood to my awaiting mouth which spilled into me without reserve like his hair upon my face. I felt myself fill with a freezing fire, and then I slipped out of consciousness completely.
…and then in the isolated night, I passed quietly away.
------------------------------------------------------------<3
Author: yours truly, ExMaverick aka Jess
Title: Ancient Wounds
Rating: R for blood
Summary: Prequel to my vampire fic Deepest Shadow. Ville recounts the events of his mortal life growing up in the poverty of 20th century Finland, wrought with grief, sex, romance, passion and abuse leading into his birth to darkness.
His lengthy tales are imparted to the sleepy mind of his young lover, but only in the seclusion of his own darkest thoughts does he begin to relive the greatest obsessions and deepest hurts rooted in his bygone and decadent time.
Warnings: Blood, angst, abuse.
Pairing: Vam,Ville/Jonne (in parts)
Previous Parts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5i, 5ii, 6, 7, 8, 9i, 9ii, 10i, 10ii, 10iii,11, 12i, 12ii, 13, 14i, 14ii, 14iii, 15, 16, 17
Throughout my life, both natural and preternatural, I have sought comfort in the arms and hearts of those who would have me, out of my most great and horrifying fear of being alone. I could never be alone, not for long, no. Is that so selfish, to need someone to care for you? Is it wrong to depend on someone else to stay sane? Some nights I am almost frightened to answer myself.
I can hear you laughing just a little when you ponder all of this. One of the so called ‘un-dead’ scared to be alone? Solitary murderers needing the warmth of oh-so-human-comfort to continue, surely not. Mm, if that’s so I’m disappointed that I’ve managed to teach you nothing with my words, my dearest.
I have always needed comfort. I have always needed love. It’s the last shred of humanity that survives in all of us after our natural lives are long gone, the one thing that we feel stronger than any living being ever can. It is that same soul-fulfilling desire that may eventually drive us mad if we do not have it or kill us if our hearts are left to break.
Even in my mortal existence, particularly towards its end, when starved of love I threw myself into the embrace of those who would manipulate it, to mould it for their own gain or twist it to control me for rotten purposes.
I also confess that heartbreak drove me into the wake of the most changing chapter of my life, and the gateway into which hand in hand my soul and destiny would be bound to one another for all time…
……………………………….................................
“Dear God what have I done to be deserving to all of this?!” I pounded my fists into the stony hard chest of my Master, who crushed me to him in the confines of my bedroom upon the expanse of finery that was my bed. He had brought me back from the cathedral, though I do not remember how, but only knew that I had wept the entirety and that my now married lover had made no move to get to me. The night was still sickeningly young and I resented everything.
Master Vuori sighed and ran his callous cold fingertips through my hair which was damp with the sweat of frustration, and every so thumbed away the burning tears that ran from swollen red eyes onto my white cheeks. He made a low considering sound before speaking.
“God is laughable my boy,” he was calm, soothing and had a muted kindness in his voice “you and I know this. The ways of God are bloody and wasteful and exceedingly dangerous. None of us know what we deserve in all eventuality, that is the harshness of it…”
I said nothing. I was bawling like a small child. I thought if the sorrow continued to come from me I would be sick or go mad. He continued-
“And yes before you say a word I know that you would not have me hurt your deceitful beau. You are too innocent and too pure to ask anything such as that from me. As much as I would enjoy it I will not harm him if it is your will” he must have read my mind, for I knew that he could do, and he spoke truth.
“Ville,” he whispered, my trembling howls now a quiet and rapid torrent of breath “I can make it so that the world shall never hurt this way again. I can make you your own master, put a world without time or hurt at your feet and give you a life where words cannot express the vibrancy of its experiences”
I choked on the tears in my raw throat in an attempt to clear it.
“And what does this world require of me?”
He bent his head to my ear and kissed my jaw line, whispering thickly-
“just your life”
I shivered with the carnality of his tone. I wrapped my arms around his strong neck and kissed him on the mouth hard and fervently, sending him my answer in my thoughts for his to read, simply saying:
“I am yours to break or burst”
And with that, a sharp pain enveloped me as he sank his cruel teeth into my throat, a deep kiss of hurt and promise. I felt the familiarity of his ivory pints penetrating veins and arteries, slowly draining the warmth dancing on my skin into him. But this time I knew he would not stop. I felt my racing heart slow to a dull, rhythmic thud against my prominent ribs.
It seemed my consciousness was flooded with the room and the smell of the wood and all its dark colours, the endless rich variations of brown and gold and deep red that surrounded us. At one point as he fed my head dropped limply back in his hands, and as I peered up at the ceiling I swore I could see into the sky, at the shining starlight fractured and grey and sullen yet grand.
Everything went dark as he lay me into the down of my bedclothes, and from that dark visions were born. I saw the Master young and hansom in the robes of his boyhood as a man my age, walking the nights of my homeland centuries before my birth, the colours danced and faded in front of me imparting tales too lengthy to mention. I knew then I was seeing his memories, his thoughts. Strange, that it did not occur to me that our minds are like doors, and if he could step through mine I in turn could enter his.
The visions were gone. I grew very, very cold in his arms before I felt myself slipping away. He had all but drained me completely. I knew then that I would die.
Through the blind cold uncertainty I felt the beginnings of a kiss. His kiss. A kiss that was hot and carried heated blood to my awaiting mouth which spilled into me without reserve like his hair upon my face. I felt myself fill with a freezing fire, and then I slipped out of consciousness completely.
…and then in the isolated night, I passed quietly away.
------------------------------------------------------------<3