You Make Me Sick, Part Thirteen, Final Part
Title: You Make Me Sick
Pairing: Clex
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Clark is finally out of the asylum, but his journey back to sanity isn’t over yet. An unlikely savior takes him in and gives him a chance to redeem himself.
Spoilers: Through S6 Labyrinth.
Warnings: Totally AU. Dark and possibly triggering for folks with depression.
Thanks to my brilliant and wonderfully supportive beta! herohunter Thank you so much, babe.
Previous Chapters:
One ♥ Two ♥ Three ♥ Four ♥ Five ♥ Six ♥ Seven ♥ Eight ♥ Nine ♥ Ten ♥ Eleven ♥ Twelve
Part Thirteen
By the time they reached Lucas' custody hearing, Clark was starting to feel that he spent more time in a courtroom than in their apartment. He'd come by to see his mother arraigned, then again when Lionel had been. The class action lawsuit had been settled out of court due to LuthorCorp's board members fearing more negative press. As Michelle had predicted, firing your own handicapped son for being gay didn't fly, not even in the heartland of America.
Compassion beat out bigotry for once. Clark would never stop teasing Lex, who sometimes didn't believe in people so much and had been hesitant to suggest they would do well on that case. Clark knew that Lex had only joined for the benefit of the other employees, who he had feared might come away with nothing but court fees.
Instead, Clark and Lex found themselves in possession of a nice windfall settlement, and while Lex's job at the college was keeping them afloat, the bills for both of their medical care were substantial. This helped more than either of them could say.
Lex wasn't able to go to the trial regarding Lionel's involvement in shady business deals every day, so Clark went, sometimes with his father, sometimes with Mercy, so he could keep Lex up on what was happening.
At night, Lex returned from teaching the summer classes he'd picked up, strangely one in introduction to sociology and one in freshman composition. They curled up together on the sofa, chatted with Jonathan until the older man started to doze, and then shooed him off to bed. With the surprising time alone, they were quite creative.
Once their hearing came up, Lex was calling Lucas as often as the Griggs would allow, and making their final plans to move into a larger place. Optimistic for once, he settled on a four-bedroom duplex, so that he and Clark could share a room and an office, and his brother and Clark's father could have their own space.
The judge who sat before them was likely in her early forties, and looked over the pair of them doubtfully. The Griggs looked at them disdainfully, and their two children sat behind them quietly… For the most part. On more than one occasion, the little boy pulled his sister's hair, and she slugged his shoulder.
Lucas squirmed in his seat and looked over at Lex and Clark's table sulkily. Clark could tell that the boy thought it wasn't fair that Lex was so close and he couldn’t hug him. For once, Clark could sympathize with the kid. They did not keep Lucas in the courtroom for long. The social worker probably didn't want him hearing some of the things that would be said.
Michelle had arranged for their lawyer, Sampson Sams, a man who specialized in cases like theirs, and he had met with their family, friends, and psychologists before deciding what to do.
"The Americans with Disabilities Act, your honor. It is illegal for the Department of Human Services to deny these two custody of Lex Luthor's brother on the grounds that they are disabled," their attorney, Sams, asserted in a rich voice that boomed throughout the courtroom. "I have come to the conclusion after speaking with both of these men's medical professionals, and I believe that you will as well, that they are more than capable of raising this boy to adulthood. HIV is no longer a death sentence, as you will hear from many a source. Having one's mobility impaired is not a crime, and Clark Kent, while legally dependant on his partner, is spoken of by his psychologist as competent and not at all dangerous. There is nothing against them but preconceived notions."
Sams was a strong arguer. He took the Griggs apart on the stand, but their real support came from Dr. Yeh, who when asked by the opposing lawyer about Lex's previous suicide attempt, stated:
"Most suicides are very preventable. I think it is worthy to note that in current circumstances, Lex Luthor has everything he did not have during his attempt on his life. He has a loving partner, he has a fulfilling job, and he has a supportive network of family and friends. Lacking those things, there are many people, especially when being exposed for the first time to medications known for causing depression as a side effect, who make mistakes. It has been three years, and over the past year, his mental health-and his physical health have rapidly improved. The man just isn't as fragile as he once was. This is why I no longer see him. He stopped needing me to gauge his daily moods. I hope anyone in this room who has a spouse understands why that is, and if not, then you can have my card."
Clark sat anxiously by Lex's side, holding his hand tightly, and Lex squeezed back just as firmly. DHS had found a number of people to question Lex's health and Clark's mental instability. They called several child specialists and therapists to the stand to tell the court how damaging having a couple like Clark and Lex would be for Lucas. Sams called Jonathan Kent, Michelle, Daize, Mercy, a number of people who had worked with Lex at LuthorCorp, several ex-employees of Fairview and one of the agents who had investigated Clark's institution, and Detective Gray, who brought up how crucial the two of them had been in finding the child and bringing him to safety.
The DHS tried to emphasize their instability; Sams emphasized their progress and the love and support their family would provide. The hearing took several days, and Clark kept scanning the judge's face, trying to determine if she was being swayed or not. Her face was a stern mask, and she took notes where he could only see the tip of her pen.
Finally, they allowed Lucas to speak.
"Lucas," the judge asked, "do you understand that you have to tell the truth here?"
"Can I go home with my brother now?" he replied, looking between her and Lex quickly.
For the first time, she cracked a smile. "That's what we're trying to determine."
"It's taking a long time."
"I know. Just tell us what you think. Who would you like to live with while your mommy and daddy can't take care of you?"
"Lex. He's my big brother. And he's a good cook."
"Oh yeah? Has he ever done anything that you didn't like?"
Lucas frowned, thinking about that. "For a while he went away, an' I didn't like that."
The judge asked him a few more questions before nodding. She retired to her chambers, and there she stayed long enough to make them nervous.
***
Lucky Moon's was a small Chinese café around the corner from the courthouse where Clark had rolled Lex to for a bite to eat during the recess. His father, Mercy, Daize, Michelle, and Tay were waiting with them, sipping tea and trying to pass the time.
"Whatever happens, boys," Jonathan said cautiously. "We're gonna make it right. If she don't see to reason, then we'll keep tryin'."
"I can't really think about that right now, Jonathan, but I appreciate it," Lex replied, smoothing a hand over his head.
Clark put his arm around Lex's shoulders. "She likes kids. She'll let him come with us."
"You see that with your sunny disposition?" Lex asked him.
Clark put his arm around Lex's shoulders and opened a menu. "You should eat."
"I'm not hungry."
"You're never hungry," Clark teased. He kissed the back of Lex's head and then pressed his cheek against it. "How's school looking, Tay?"
Tay bobbed his head. "Upcoming semester. Could be worse."
"I'm taking two classes," Clark told him. "Intro stuff. Boring, but it's a start."
"They're tryin' to thief your money with those, you know," Tay informed them, picking at a bowl of fried noodles with sweet and sour sauce.
"Well, I go for free, since I'm Lex's dependant, so." Clark shrugged.
"It's good that you're going now," Daize told him. "It took me forever to graduate. I had to take off in the middle, and it was just really hard to get back into it."
"I'm already a little old for it," Clark replied with chagrin.
Lex bumped his shoulder. "No you aren't. At best, your classmates will be three years younger than you."
"Which is a lot better than having your classmates being ten years younger," Daize said pointing an eggroll at him. Mercy took a bite out of it.
"We just have to keep those young things from flirting with my Clark," Lex said. As he looked up at Clark, warmth and amusement seemed to bubble up against the surface of his outwardly calm face. No one knew Lex's expressions and moods better than Clark now, not even Dr. Yeh, and Clark was so incredibly proud of that fact.
You can win this.
Clark sucked his lower lip into his mouth and shook his head. "Maybe I have to keep the young things from flirting with their sexy professor," Clark replied.
"You're not a professor until you're tenured," Lex countered, although he was starting to smile.
"Just wait. You will be," Clark said certainly. "I have faith."
"You always do," Lex scoffed.
"We all need to go see the Watchers movie when it comes out," Daize informed them. "Is Luc too young for that?"
"I don't know what that is, but it sounds like comic books," Mercy interrupted. "So my guess is, no. He's four."
Lex rubbed his mouth softly. "We can still go. It comes out later, doesn't it? I just don't want to leave him out so early when he moves in with us."
"I'll look after 'im. I seen the previews," Jonathan offered. "It's coming out Christmas time. I'll take 'im t'the park t'see the lights."
"I appreciate it," Lex said. Clark watched them and stroked the back of Lex's head.
"It's nothin'. I loved takin' care o'Clark when he was little!" Jonathan declared. "I'm lucky to have got this chance."
When the waitress came, Mercy smiled widely at her, and Daize pinched her under the table. Clark ordered a plate of tofu vegetable Lo Mein to share with Lex. Mostly so he could ensure that Lex ate something this afternoon. Tay ordered squidballs and rice, to the curiosity of everyone at the table.
As Clark lifted a bit of Lo Mein to Lex's mouth, he froze, hearing Lex's cell phone go off. For some reason it had the theme of Shaft playing.
"Sams," Lex explained, opening his phone. Pressing it to his ear, he looked up at the ceiling and asked, "Are they back?"
***
When Clark walked into their new apartment that afternoon, it looked foreign, strange, and sort of exciting in that way that new living spaces looked. Empty, waiting to be lived in, and cleaner than it would ever be with the clutter of life, since almost everything was still boxed up. It wasn't home.
Not until Lex rolled in with Lucas at his side.
"It's big," Lucas said, clinging to the side of his brother's chair.
"Yes, Luc, we had to get a bigger place. Want to see your room?" Lex asked with an overwhelmed smile. The boy bobbed his head and followed Lex into the townhouse, bouncing a little, asking question after question.
Jonathan came in after them with the takeout cartons and headed to the kitchen, meeting Clark's eye as he went.
"Don't be jealous," Jonathan said when Clark followed him into the kitchen.
"Why would I be jealous?" Clark protested. He sat at the round tab and opened up one of the cartons. He took a long strand of Lo Mein and dangled it into his mouth.
"Lex's got work. And now his little brother, who's gonna need a lot of attention." Jonathan shrugged and sat down with him.
"I know that. I'm not stupid, Dad."
"Oh, hush. Not sayin' you are. I'll be here to take 'im, when you two need time alone, okay?" Jonathan said, reaching across the table to pat Clark's hand.
"I love Lex. And… Lucas doesn't deserve what he's gotten, Dad. We have to take care of him," Clark replied. He looked down and took another strand of the Lo Mein. "I can do this. We fought for this, and the social worker will be back. He's going to have the best home we can give him."
Clark blinked as his eyes seemed to blur, and he saw something just outside of his field of vision, but it made him smile. It was like he was looking inside himself.
"Just like you and Mom did for me."
"She really messed up fer Luc," Jonathan said, shaking his head. "I'll do the best I c'n."
"That's all any of us can do."
Jonathan handed him some chopsticks and patted his head.
***
Same bed, different room. Clark and Lex had been trying to find a means of making their room homier until everything had been unpacked. They had a large window to the left behind their bed, and they'd decided on the arrangements of the furniture together. The old room didn't have a window, and Lex had accepted that mostly because he didn't like mornings, but Clark liked the sunlight, so they compromised with a good blind with dark lavender drapes so Clark could open it up when he wanted and Lex could close them when he needed to sleep.
Lex returned from giving Lucas his bath and putting him to bed, yawning widely but smiling happily. Clark rose from where he was sitting on the bed, his glasses drifting down his nose as he read a history book that his father had gotten him. In one quick motion, he lifted Lex into his arms and dropped him onto the bed.
"Missed you," Clark said, grinning from ear to ear.
"I was gone for about an hour," Lex protested, albeit lightly. He pulled Clark down for a kiss, which Clark returned all too happily.
"Yeah." Clark began to unbutton Lex's shirt and smoothed his hands over Lex's soft, pale skin. The trial had taken a lot out of the both of them. He knew that. The time, the stress. Clark turned Lex over on his side and began to massage his back. "Good?"
"Mm. Yes," Lex murmured.
Clark's thumbs pressed into Lex's shoulders, and he worked his way down slowly. Lex kept too much tension there. Clark would help it go away. After the massage, came the kisses along Lex's shoulders and up his neck. He would worship every part of Lex until he'd touched it all and then begin anew.
Suddenly, a little shriek jolted them both out of their revelry, and Clark jumped to his feet and darted down the hallway.
"Luc? Lucas?" Clark called. He entered the boy's room, turned on the light, and dropped by his bed. "What is it, buddy?"
"Mommy! Maaaa-mmmiee!" he wailed.
Clark felt his eyes sting and climbed up into the bed with Lucas, putting his arms around him. "Mommy's not here, Luc. But I'm here. Lex is here. Do you want to see Lex?"
Lucas continued to cry and wail incomprehensibly, so Clark carried the boy into their room, where Lex was on the edge of the bed trying to reach his chair, which had been left across the room.
"Sorry," Clark said apologetically. He brought the boy to their bed and set him next to Lex.
"Hey, Luc," Lex said gently. He held Luc to his chest and petted his hair soothingly. "We're here. You're not alone, I promise."
Jonathan entered, looking panicked. "Everyone okay?"
"Yes, I think Lucas just got scared being alone in his room," Lex explained. He kissed the boy's hair.
"Aw. That all?" Jonathan came up to Lucas and petted his back. Lucas had met him in the car earlier, and seemed to take to him, after he had heard that Jonathan was Clark's father.
Little by little, Lucas stopped crying and grew still in Lex's arms.
"It's gonna take awhile before he's used t'being alone. Lotta upheaval in losin' your folks. You don't remember, Clark, but you used t'cry a lot at night. Or whenever y'saw somethin' that reminded you o'them," Jonathan told them quietly.
"We're glad to have you here, Jonathan," Lex whispered sincerely.
"Lemme take him for the night. He'll like havin' his grandpa t'be with. You boys get some sleep," Jonathan suggested.
Lex smiled warmly and let Jonathan take the child into his arms. Clark thought that it wouldn't be too much longer before Lucas was too big for his old father to carry, but he said nothing for the moment and watched them go, taking Lex's hand.
He looked over into Lex's eyes and caught the smile there. "What?"
"Grandpa." Lex sighed. "His help will prove invaluable."
"I think so," Clark agreed. "Especially since you work and I've got school in a few weeks."
"We'll all make it. I talked to him about staying home so that Lucas would have a familiar face while you and I are out. And I can bring some things home to work on… It'll be fine," Lex assured him.
"When did you become an optimist?" Clark demanded.
"I'm not. You make one out of me every day we're together."
Clark took Lex into his arms once again, and Lex breathed deeply for a few moments, listening and waiting.
"You're waiting to see if he'll scream again, aren't you?" Clark asked.
Lex chuckled. "Yes."
"Well, boss, let's get washed and in our pajamas, and if he screams, we'll go out and help."
"Sounds like a plan. Take it as it comes."
***
One Month Later
Clark lifted Luc up, swinging him a little as he carried the boy onto the bus.
"Are you sure it's okay?" Luc asked as Clark shifted him onto his hip and paid the bus driver.
Luc always acted as though Clark was another one of the kids, which Clark guessed was probably a little true. Lex was top dog, and Jonathan was obviously Clark's father. It didn't take long to pick up who had authority, and it sure wasn't Clark.
He wouldn't have wanted it anyway.
"It's okay. I've gone to see Lex tons of times."
Some days, Lucas was inconsolable. He missed his mother. He even missed Lionel and his fuzzy whiskers. He didn't know any better but to love them, and for a set of people who Clark was sure were incapable of love, that seemed sad.
Lex loved the boy enough for a father, mother, brother, and sister, and maybe a few uncles on the side. Clark had to admit that at times he was jealous. Of anything that took Lex's time away, really, but thanks to Jonathan, they still had time together, and now that Clark had a couple of classes to keep up with, he didn't need Lex all the time.
That didn't, of course, mean that Clark didn't miss him any moment they were apart.
Lucas pointed at the two blue-haired little old ladies sitting next to one another on the bus, and Clark took his hand and shook his head. "Don't point, Luc."
"Can I have blue hair?"
Clark chuckled. "You'll have to ask Lex."
Not being 'daddy' had perks.
When they reached Saligner Hall where Lex's office was located, Clark took Luc's hand and walked him inside. A line of students moved past them, chattering inanely, and Clark took Luc to the elevator. He pressed the button.
A moment later he noticed that the button wasn't lighting up, so he sighed and took Luc with him up the five flights of stairs up to Lex's office. By then, Luc was squirming around impatiently.
Clark let out a grunt of frustration when he realized Lex's office door was locked. That wasn't right. Lex never skipped out on office hours. So up Luc went, onto his hip again, and he was halfway down, when he realized he could give Lex a call.
"Hey, where are you?" Clark asked.
"In the elevator. Where are you?" Lex replied peevishly.
"On the staircase. The elevator's broken." Clark waited for a moment for an answer, and then, "Ohhh."
Lex sighed.
"What floor are you on? Luc and I came up to say hi."
"I don't know. I'm stuck somewhere in between the third and fourth, I think. Could you go down to the front office? I've called the technician twice. I've been in here all day. "
"No way! That's not fair. Stay on, okay?" Clark headed down again and jogged into the front office. "Hey, Lex is still stuck in the elevator. Can you send the technician already?"
"I know they haven't gotten here yet," the department secretary said voice that seemed young for her face. "I'll call again, but I don't know how soon they'll be here."
"This sucks. Poor Lex," Clark lamented.
"Poor Lex indeed," Lex muttered.
Clark set Luc down on the bench to wait and settled beside him. "Have you eaten…? Oh, have you taken your pills?"
"They're in my office."
Clark frowned and held the phone to Luc's ear. "Tell Lex about your day, yeah?"
Lucas began to rattle on in one long, unending sentence about his morning with his grandfather and the people they'd seen on the bus. Clark had hope that listening to his little brother would give Lex a smile. It was rough to have to put up with things like this, but Lex was generally a pretty good sport about it.
It was another hour before someone showed up to fix the elevator, and another two before it was fixed. Clark only left to hit the union to get a snack for Luc, and remained on the phone with Lex the entire time, so he wouldn't feel alone.
When the doors finally opened, Clark and Luc were there clapping. Lex wheeled himself out with a soft grin and put down his phone. Clark lifted him up and gave him a squeeze before letting him down so that Luc could give him a hug too.
***
"Come over here, let me get a picture," Lex said, holding up the camera.
Clark dashed into the sitting room, clad in brightly colored tights and lifted Luc up. The boy was wearing a Warrior Angel costume for Halloween, and Clark posed the boy as though he were flying until Lex took the picture.
***
That morning, they had gotten a phone call from the state prison, and after conferring with Jonathan, Lex pulled Lucas up into his lap and let the boy talk to his mother. He talked excitedly with her about everything Clark and Lex did with him and answered all of her questions as much as he could, occasionally quirking his mouth to the side and frowning hard in thought.
When Martha told him that no, she couldn't come visit him, Luc's eyes grew wet and he hopped off Lex's lap and ran into the other room.
Lex looked to Jonathan and picked up the phone. "Martha, you're going to have to give him time. He just misses you, and he doesn't understand."
"I wish there were something I could do," Martha said weakly. "I waited my whole life for a son, and now I can't ever see him, because I tried to protect him."
Lex declined to comment on her version of protecting his brother and the wisdom of what she'd done. "You know that Lionel won't be able to get to him now. He's safe. And I hope you understand that Clark, Jonathan, and I are taking good care of him. The best we can."
"No. I believe that, Lex," Martha said in a fairly desperate tone. She was much more congenial now, in the way of someone who clearly wanted to tread lightly and get the most out of the remains of their situation.
That evening, they let Luc open his Christmas presents a day early.
Clark sat cross-legged beside Lucas, rubbing his little back and keeping the chatter up. Lex sat across from them, directing Clark to play "Santa" and distribute gifts as they were enjoying the holiday.
Clark made sure that he gave Lex his gift last, so that he would have time to focus on Lex's face when he opened the box.
"Oh, no. Clark, no, this is too-"
"Hey, it's not too anything. I talked with the owner of the shop and we worked out a deal," Clark replied quickly. He leaned over and squeezed Lex's thigh, watching him look through his old comics with wonder. Clark couldn't, of course, buy them all back, but he could get a few of Lex's favorites.
The look on Lex's face told Clark that he'd really hit the mark on this one.
***
Lex mused wryly that given his own penchant for delinquency (albeit nerdish delinquency), it was unsurprising that his brother should be sent to the office as soon as school was back in session. Clark kept a hand on the back of Lex's neck but didn't grip, a soft gesture that was at once protective and self-assuring. The young man seemed anxious. Lex reached over to squeeze his hand.
As they opened the door to the principal's office, Lucas bounded up to them and embraced Lex. "I want to go home."
"Luc," Lex protested. He pulled Lucas back just a bit and took a look at his face. "You're hurt!" He fixed his eyes on the secretary fiercely. "He's hurt," he repeated accusingly.
Clark knelt down to Lucas and lifted him up.
"Mr. Luthor, you should see the other boy," she told him sternly.
"Well, what did the other boy do?" Lex shot back, his lip curling sarcastically. He was about to say something rude when he heard Clark chuckling. "Don't encourage him, Clark."
Clark pressed his lips together trying not to laugh.
"What did the other boy do?" Lex repeated.
"He made fun 'o you!" Lucas complained.
"Of… Me?" Lex looked down at his brother and petted his hair. "Luc, you don't have to get into fights over me."
"Asa made fun of your legs!" Lucas pouted. "He sat on his… His shins. And he danced around with his juice cup out."
Lex's lips pursed deeply. "Well, isn't Asa an offensive little idiot?" he said dryly. He pulled Lucas to him and kissed his forehead. "Ignore him. I know it makes you mad. People are going to laugh and stare no matter what we do. But you know what? It doesn't matter. It doesn't hurt me if some kid thinks I look funny because my legs are gone. It won't hurt Clark and I if they make fun of our relationship. Not unless we let it hurt us."
Taking Lucas' hands, Lex looked into his eyes, and Clark knelt by them.
"We just have to be stronger and smarter than they are, and we have to know who we are. We're different, and if they can't understand, then they aren't worth your time, okay, Luc?" Lex continued. "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
The principal entered from his office and looked over the three of them. "Ah, Mr. Luthor. Mr. Kent. I need to have a word with you."
"Well, we need to have a word with you, too," Clark said in a booming voice as he rose to his feet. He stepped forward and offered the principal a hand, and the man looked slightly intimidated. Clark was a big guy.
Lex smiled up at Clark and wheeled into the office with Lucas in his lap. He was glad to have someone who looked imposing by his side, even if Lex would likely do most of the talking.
They made a great team.
Eight Years Later
Clark woke up sprawled over a bed.
A queen size, very soft, with dark blue silk sheets. The air was nice and warm, too. Aside from his dry lips and the fatigue he was experiencing (probably from the weather change), he felt pretty good.
That day had been a very pretty day. Too pretty for a funeral. The air had been too sweet, and the wind too light and refreshing.
Clark wasn't good at funerals. He'd known that for a long time. When they'd watched Helen Bryce get put in the ground, he'd practically had a breakdown. Now that Clark could remember who his parents were, Lex had occasionally taken him by the graveyard where they were buried. Clark had lost it every time. He'd been less melancholy and more guilty when Martha passed, but there were still a few tears, perhaps mostly on Lucas' behalf.
He'd even lost it when Lucas' pet rat died.
So Clark was feeling completely sympathetic. Lucas had been sulky ever since his Grandfather Jonathan's funeral, but day-by-day, things seemed to be getting better. Although Clark hadn't liked the boy at first, Luc had grown on him, and together they shared a history of being partially raised by Jonathan Kent.
Lex looked up at his brother, growing like a weed now, that Lucas, and gave him a reassuring smile. They all keenly felt the loss of this man, and in the end, surely each of them felt as though they had lost a father.
***
The decision to move after that had been an easy one. The girls, Daize and Mercy, had moved to California a few years prior to be closer to Mercy's family, and Metropolis held far too many memories of this wonderful man who had been there for them all.
Lex had begun looking for a job on the west coast only after consulting with his brother. They'd decided to wait for Clark's graduation before uprooting everything. But they'd gotten a referral from Dr. Yeh, and now that Luc was legally another of Lex's dependants, the bigger problem would be moving Clark.
Clark managed famously, however. Some nightmares here and there. Of course the voices popped in and out. His drawings and writings became ever more complex and bizarre.
Currently the room was lined with boxes. Clark had endured moves before. He preferred not to deal with them, if he could. It was unsettling to be in a new place. With new walls and new noises.
It didn't matter; as Lucas came into the room to tug on Clark's hand, he felt a sense of completeness. He was going to be dragged along to the beach. Lex didn't like to go, and he had been tired for the past couple of days. Certainly that worried Clark, but he realized that there would be on and off days. Today was an off day. Anyway, Lex was getting grumpy with Clark hovering over him too much.
They'd bring him back something silly from the beach.
***
One of these days, Lex told himself continuously, karma was going to make him pay for this happiness.
Upon further reflection, however, Lex decided each time that perhaps the pain of the previous years were being reflected now in how good life could be. Maybe it was a reward for the suffocating depression, the madness, the pain, the poverty, and the financial instability. Lex kept waiting for the bottom to drop out.
But it wasn't as though things were perfect, he rationalized. His insurance kept deferring them on the additional surgery his doctor wanted for his back, and if it weren't for Clark, Lex would probably be addicted to pain meds by now.
Damn that boy was good with his hands.
Publish or perish was a worry for Lex now, although he gladly took that stress over the grinding, never-ending hell that being a suit at LuthorCorp had offered. Lucas had a temper, which didn't alarm Lex much since it seemed to be a family trait, but occasionally got the boy in trouble at school. Lex had a fever the day before, which still scared Clark and made him shake not unlike a little boy. Lucas handled the fevers better than Clark did. Lex supposed that considering how dependant they were on one another, it certainly reflected in Clark's reaction to the slightest possibility that what they had might end.
It was hard to imagine living apart from one another.
With a soft sigh he wheeled into the sitting room, where Clark was sitting cross-legged on the sofa, and Lex watched his partner scribbling on a sketchpad with one of the special art pencils that Lex had gotten him for his birthday. It didn't matter if Clark never sold a thing. Lex felt honored to be privy to Clark's complex and immense inner world.
Oh, the things Lex could do in that world. Great things. Terrible things. Things that were both at once.
Clark looked oddly small as he sat there, not seeming to notice his surroundings as he rocked back and forth and drew on his pad. Lex approached him and said nothing for several moments.
The two of them were so bizarre.
A movement from Lex caught Clark's attention, and the younger man looked up with a wide grin.
"Hey."
"Hey, minion. How are you doing?"
Clark got up onto his knees and lifted Lex just a little, so that he could pull him into his lap. "Pretty good. I'm like a cat. I don't do well with change. But I'm getting used to it here."
"I'm glad. Honestly, I like the climate," Lex replied.
"You hate the cold."
"I do." Lex leaned into Clark's expansive chest and felt Clark's arms wrap around his waist. "How was your session this morning?"
"Dr. Carter isn't bad. He's less of a jerk than Dr. Yeh."
Lex chuckled. "I thought that you liked Dr. Yeh."
"I do. But she's a jerk. I mean, she's really cold. Dr. Carter is more friendly."
"Maybe that's what you need right now. Someone who's less of a taskmaster and more of a…"
"Sounding board for my crazy."
The corners of Lex's mouth twitched slightly. "Exactly."
Clark rubbed Lex's stomach softly and pressed a kiss to the back of his head. Lex closed his eyes for a moment, until he heard Lucas' shoes pounding on the hardwood floor as he ran in from school.
"Hey, Luc," Lex said as he looked up. "How was your day?"
The boy stopped at the door and blinked only once, recognizing that he'd interrupted something intimate. "Cool," he replied. "Staci wants me to spend the night so we can watch the new Star Wars movies together. Their house has a room with a huge TV and blackout curtains."
"Staci is a guy?" Lex asked, raising a brow.
Luc rolled his eyes. "Come on. Like you could be sure something wasn't going on if Staci was a guy. Girls can be friends."
"Yeah, Lex, don't be so close-minded." Clark poked Lex's side.
"Stop it, you," Lex warned Clark.
"Come onnn," Luc whined.
"Fine. I want to talk to Staci's parents first, though. Get me the phone," Lex ordered.
Lucas pumped his fist and ran off to fetch it.
"They must have already asked her parents, 'cause he thinks it's in the bag," Clark commented.
"It might be." Lex sighed. "It's just odd to get to the point where I'm trusting that we taught Luc properly."
"You knew it was coming, Mommy."
"Ha."
When Luc bounded back into the room, he gave Lex the phone and rattled off the phone number so that Lex could spend a few minutes on the phone with Staci's father. Reassured, Lex indicated to Luc that he should pack a bag, and they'd take him.
"Do you remember…?" Clark began as they drove back home after dropping Luc off.
Lex cast a brief look in Clark's direction. "What?"
"The time on the bridge…"
Lex smiled, knowing that Clark was talking about their first kiss, certainly, and not what had come before. "Do you ever want to go back to visit there? I know we haven't been here long, but we could, on a break, if you wanted to, take a trip out to visit the old farm and your friends from school."
"Not really. I think…We're done with that place," Clark replied after a moment. "Anyone I care about I talk to online anyway, and the girls are here with us. Without Dad there, I don't have much reason to go back."
Lex nodded and turned onto the road to their house.
For about three weeks, they had all referred to their new place as "the apartment," simply out of habit. It was, however, a house of a decent middling size, considering the cost of living in California; with the space they needed but not too big. Lex was able to keep most of his working materials in the office and therefore, keep the clutter of studying and writing and grading papers out of their modest home.
It was a nice little house, painted a colorful robin's egg blue, which Clark liked of course, with a widows peak window on the roof, and inside they had hardwood floors and decently insulated walls. The windows were extremely large, another concession to Clark, but Luc also, who preferred the natural light to the electric. It was fine with Lex, though, since too much light gave him headaches, even now.
Driving up to his house, Lex considered the freshness of a move. He didn't mind it as much as Clark did because when you first moved, everything was nice and clean, and orderly, but the longer you stayed in one place, the more mess accrued. Such was life, anyway, the mess comes and goes. You get rid of it, and it comes back. Nothing ever stays neat for long.
Given that along with the mess came Clark and Lucas, Lex would make the concession.
"Let's hang out on the porch," Clark suggested as he helped Lex out of the car. The sun was setting behind the house. "Reminds me of the fortress. You know, the barn, and how I'd sit up there for hours. It was gorgeous. Sometimes I'd hang out there all night to see the sun rise."
"You want to?" Lex asked, wheeling himself up the ramp.
"What, stay up for sunrise?" Clark asked with surprise.
"Why not?" Lex smirked playfully. "I'm sure we could think of something to do to pass the time."
"Not that we could do outside."
Lex laughed deeply, and looked up at his partner, who put a gentle hand on his shoulder. Every single day, just like the day their lives had figuratively and literally collided, they changed one another. Changed and shaped, and became ever closer as they filled in the cracks of their fellow broken person. Lex had never been whole on his own due to the events in his upbringing, and Clark's mind had surely shattered early on, unheeded by the people around him, but somehow, they worked. Somehow together, the uncertainty and mess of life that would always come was so much more bearable when one knew the other was there behind him, ready to catch him if he fell.
That night they couldn't quite stay up to see the sunrise. During the time between sunset and sunrise, Lex curled into Clark's lap and listened to the brilliant and vaguely mad tales cooked up by the love of his life. Long, complex, and amazing yarns that went this way and that, and seemed almost neverending. Lex nodded off, secure in Clark's big arms, and Clark kissed the top of Lex's head, knowing that together, neither had anything to fear from being sick.
FIN
Pairing: Clex
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Clark is finally out of the asylum, but his journey back to sanity isn’t over yet. An unlikely savior takes him in and gives him a chance to redeem himself.
Spoilers: Through S6 Labyrinth.
Warnings: Totally AU. Dark and possibly triggering for folks with depression.
Thanks to my brilliant and wonderfully supportive beta! herohunter Thank you so much, babe.
Previous Chapters:
One ♥ Two ♥ Three ♥ Four ♥ Five ♥ Six ♥ Seven ♥ Eight ♥ Nine ♥ Ten ♥ Eleven ♥ Twelve
Part Thirteen
By the time they reached Lucas' custody hearing, Clark was starting to feel that he spent more time in a courtroom than in their apartment. He'd come by to see his mother arraigned, then again when Lionel had been. The class action lawsuit had been settled out of court due to LuthorCorp's board members fearing more negative press. As Michelle had predicted, firing your own handicapped son for being gay didn't fly, not even in the heartland of America.
Compassion beat out bigotry for once. Clark would never stop teasing Lex, who sometimes didn't believe in people so much and had been hesitant to suggest they would do well on that case. Clark knew that Lex had only joined for the benefit of the other employees, who he had feared might come away with nothing but court fees.
Instead, Clark and Lex found themselves in possession of a nice windfall settlement, and while Lex's job at the college was keeping them afloat, the bills for both of their medical care were substantial. This helped more than either of them could say.
Lex wasn't able to go to the trial regarding Lionel's involvement in shady business deals every day, so Clark went, sometimes with his father, sometimes with Mercy, so he could keep Lex up on what was happening.
At night, Lex returned from teaching the summer classes he'd picked up, strangely one in introduction to sociology and one in freshman composition. They curled up together on the sofa, chatted with Jonathan until the older man started to doze, and then shooed him off to bed. With the surprising time alone, they were quite creative.
Once their hearing came up, Lex was calling Lucas as often as the Griggs would allow, and making their final plans to move into a larger place. Optimistic for once, he settled on a four-bedroom duplex, so that he and Clark could share a room and an office, and his brother and Clark's father could have their own space.
The judge who sat before them was likely in her early forties, and looked over the pair of them doubtfully. The Griggs looked at them disdainfully, and their two children sat behind them quietly… For the most part. On more than one occasion, the little boy pulled his sister's hair, and she slugged his shoulder.
Lucas squirmed in his seat and looked over at Lex and Clark's table sulkily. Clark could tell that the boy thought it wasn't fair that Lex was so close and he couldn’t hug him. For once, Clark could sympathize with the kid. They did not keep Lucas in the courtroom for long. The social worker probably didn't want him hearing some of the things that would be said.
Michelle had arranged for their lawyer, Sampson Sams, a man who specialized in cases like theirs, and he had met with their family, friends, and psychologists before deciding what to do.
"The Americans with Disabilities Act, your honor. It is illegal for the Department of Human Services to deny these two custody of Lex Luthor's brother on the grounds that they are disabled," their attorney, Sams, asserted in a rich voice that boomed throughout the courtroom. "I have come to the conclusion after speaking with both of these men's medical professionals, and I believe that you will as well, that they are more than capable of raising this boy to adulthood. HIV is no longer a death sentence, as you will hear from many a source. Having one's mobility impaired is not a crime, and Clark Kent, while legally dependant on his partner, is spoken of by his psychologist as competent and not at all dangerous. There is nothing against them but preconceived notions."
Sams was a strong arguer. He took the Griggs apart on the stand, but their real support came from Dr. Yeh, who when asked by the opposing lawyer about Lex's previous suicide attempt, stated:
"Most suicides are very preventable. I think it is worthy to note that in current circumstances, Lex Luthor has everything he did not have during his attempt on his life. He has a loving partner, he has a fulfilling job, and he has a supportive network of family and friends. Lacking those things, there are many people, especially when being exposed for the first time to medications known for causing depression as a side effect, who make mistakes. It has been three years, and over the past year, his mental health-and his physical health have rapidly improved. The man just isn't as fragile as he once was. This is why I no longer see him. He stopped needing me to gauge his daily moods. I hope anyone in this room who has a spouse understands why that is, and if not, then you can have my card."
Clark sat anxiously by Lex's side, holding his hand tightly, and Lex squeezed back just as firmly. DHS had found a number of people to question Lex's health and Clark's mental instability. They called several child specialists and therapists to the stand to tell the court how damaging having a couple like Clark and Lex would be for Lucas. Sams called Jonathan Kent, Michelle, Daize, Mercy, a number of people who had worked with Lex at LuthorCorp, several ex-employees of Fairview and one of the agents who had investigated Clark's institution, and Detective Gray, who brought up how crucial the two of them had been in finding the child and bringing him to safety.
The DHS tried to emphasize their instability; Sams emphasized their progress and the love and support their family would provide. The hearing took several days, and Clark kept scanning the judge's face, trying to determine if she was being swayed or not. Her face was a stern mask, and she took notes where he could only see the tip of her pen.
Finally, they allowed Lucas to speak.
"Lucas," the judge asked, "do you understand that you have to tell the truth here?"
"Can I go home with my brother now?" he replied, looking between her and Lex quickly.
For the first time, she cracked a smile. "That's what we're trying to determine."
"It's taking a long time."
"I know. Just tell us what you think. Who would you like to live with while your mommy and daddy can't take care of you?"
"Lex. He's my big brother. And he's a good cook."
"Oh yeah? Has he ever done anything that you didn't like?"
Lucas frowned, thinking about that. "For a while he went away, an' I didn't like that."
The judge asked him a few more questions before nodding. She retired to her chambers, and there she stayed long enough to make them nervous.
***
Lucky Moon's was a small Chinese café around the corner from the courthouse where Clark had rolled Lex to for a bite to eat during the recess. His father, Mercy, Daize, Michelle, and Tay were waiting with them, sipping tea and trying to pass the time.
"Whatever happens, boys," Jonathan said cautiously. "We're gonna make it right. If she don't see to reason, then we'll keep tryin'."
"I can't really think about that right now, Jonathan, but I appreciate it," Lex replied, smoothing a hand over his head.
Clark put his arm around Lex's shoulders. "She likes kids. She'll let him come with us."
"You see that with your sunny disposition?" Lex asked him.
Clark put his arm around Lex's shoulders and opened a menu. "You should eat."
"I'm not hungry."
"You're never hungry," Clark teased. He kissed the back of Lex's head and then pressed his cheek against it. "How's school looking, Tay?"
Tay bobbed his head. "Upcoming semester. Could be worse."
"I'm taking two classes," Clark told him. "Intro stuff. Boring, but it's a start."
"They're tryin' to thief your money with those, you know," Tay informed them, picking at a bowl of fried noodles with sweet and sour sauce.
"Well, I go for free, since I'm Lex's dependant, so." Clark shrugged.
"It's good that you're going now," Daize told him. "It took me forever to graduate. I had to take off in the middle, and it was just really hard to get back into it."
"I'm already a little old for it," Clark replied with chagrin.
Lex bumped his shoulder. "No you aren't. At best, your classmates will be three years younger than you."
"Which is a lot better than having your classmates being ten years younger," Daize said pointing an eggroll at him. Mercy took a bite out of it.
"We just have to keep those young things from flirting with my Clark," Lex said. As he looked up at Clark, warmth and amusement seemed to bubble up against the surface of his outwardly calm face. No one knew Lex's expressions and moods better than Clark now, not even Dr. Yeh, and Clark was so incredibly proud of that fact.
You can win this.
Clark sucked his lower lip into his mouth and shook his head. "Maybe I have to keep the young things from flirting with their sexy professor," Clark replied.
"You're not a professor until you're tenured," Lex countered, although he was starting to smile.
"Just wait. You will be," Clark said certainly. "I have faith."
"You always do," Lex scoffed.
"We all need to go see the Watchers movie when it comes out," Daize informed them. "Is Luc too young for that?"
"I don't know what that is, but it sounds like comic books," Mercy interrupted. "So my guess is, no. He's four."
Lex rubbed his mouth softly. "We can still go. It comes out later, doesn't it? I just don't want to leave him out so early when he moves in with us."
"I'll look after 'im. I seen the previews," Jonathan offered. "It's coming out Christmas time. I'll take 'im t'the park t'see the lights."
"I appreciate it," Lex said. Clark watched them and stroked the back of Lex's head.
"It's nothin'. I loved takin' care o'Clark when he was little!" Jonathan declared. "I'm lucky to have got this chance."
When the waitress came, Mercy smiled widely at her, and Daize pinched her under the table. Clark ordered a plate of tofu vegetable Lo Mein to share with Lex. Mostly so he could ensure that Lex ate something this afternoon. Tay ordered squidballs and rice, to the curiosity of everyone at the table.
As Clark lifted a bit of Lo Mein to Lex's mouth, he froze, hearing Lex's cell phone go off. For some reason it had the theme of Shaft playing.
"Sams," Lex explained, opening his phone. Pressing it to his ear, he looked up at the ceiling and asked, "Are they back?"
***
When Clark walked into their new apartment that afternoon, it looked foreign, strange, and sort of exciting in that way that new living spaces looked. Empty, waiting to be lived in, and cleaner than it would ever be with the clutter of life, since almost everything was still boxed up. It wasn't home.
Not until Lex rolled in with Lucas at his side.
"It's big," Lucas said, clinging to the side of his brother's chair.
"Yes, Luc, we had to get a bigger place. Want to see your room?" Lex asked with an overwhelmed smile. The boy bobbed his head and followed Lex into the townhouse, bouncing a little, asking question after question.
Jonathan came in after them with the takeout cartons and headed to the kitchen, meeting Clark's eye as he went.
"Don't be jealous," Jonathan said when Clark followed him into the kitchen.
"Why would I be jealous?" Clark protested. He sat at the round tab and opened up one of the cartons. He took a long strand of Lo Mein and dangled it into his mouth.
"Lex's got work. And now his little brother, who's gonna need a lot of attention." Jonathan shrugged and sat down with him.
"I know that. I'm not stupid, Dad."
"Oh, hush. Not sayin' you are. I'll be here to take 'im, when you two need time alone, okay?" Jonathan said, reaching across the table to pat Clark's hand.
"I love Lex. And… Lucas doesn't deserve what he's gotten, Dad. We have to take care of him," Clark replied. He looked down and took another strand of the Lo Mein. "I can do this. We fought for this, and the social worker will be back. He's going to have the best home we can give him."
Clark blinked as his eyes seemed to blur, and he saw something just outside of his field of vision, but it made him smile. It was like he was looking inside himself.
"Just like you and Mom did for me."
"She really messed up fer Luc," Jonathan said, shaking his head. "I'll do the best I c'n."
"That's all any of us can do."
Jonathan handed him some chopsticks and patted his head.
***
Same bed, different room. Clark and Lex had been trying to find a means of making their room homier until everything had been unpacked. They had a large window to the left behind their bed, and they'd decided on the arrangements of the furniture together. The old room didn't have a window, and Lex had accepted that mostly because he didn't like mornings, but Clark liked the sunlight, so they compromised with a good blind with dark lavender drapes so Clark could open it up when he wanted and Lex could close them when he needed to sleep.
Lex returned from giving Lucas his bath and putting him to bed, yawning widely but smiling happily. Clark rose from where he was sitting on the bed, his glasses drifting down his nose as he read a history book that his father had gotten him. In one quick motion, he lifted Lex into his arms and dropped him onto the bed.
"Missed you," Clark said, grinning from ear to ear.
"I was gone for about an hour," Lex protested, albeit lightly. He pulled Clark down for a kiss, which Clark returned all too happily.
"Yeah." Clark began to unbutton Lex's shirt and smoothed his hands over Lex's soft, pale skin. The trial had taken a lot out of the both of them. He knew that. The time, the stress. Clark turned Lex over on his side and began to massage his back. "Good?"
"Mm. Yes," Lex murmured.
Clark's thumbs pressed into Lex's shoulders, and he worked his way down slowly. Lex kept too much tension there. Clark would help it go away. After the massage, came the kisses along Lex's shoulders and up his neck. He would worship every part of Lex until he'd touched it all and then begin anew.
Suddenly, a little shriek jolted them both out of their revelry, and Clark jumped to his feet and darted down the hallway.
"Luc? Lucas?" Clark called. He entered the boy's room, turned on the light, and dropped by his bed. "What is it, buddy?"
"Mommy! Maaaa-mmmiee!" he wailed.
Clark felt his eyes sting and climbed up into the bed with Lucas, putting his arms around him. "Mommy's not here, Luc. But I'm here. Lex is here. Do you want to see Lex?"
Lucas continued to cry and wail incomprehensibly, so Clark carried the boy into their room, where Lex was on the edge of the bed trying to reach his chair, which had been left across the room.
"Sorry," Clark said apologetically. He brought the boy to their bed and set him next to Lex.
"Hey, Luc," Lex said gently. He held Luc to his chest and petted his hair soothingly. "We're here. You're not alone, I promise."
Jonathan entered, looking panicked. "Everyone okay?"
"Yes, I think Lucas just got scared being alone in his room," Lex explained. He kissed the boy's hair.
"Aw. That all?" Jonathan came up to Lucas and petted his back. Lucas had met him in the car earlier, and seemed to take to him, after he had heard that Jonathan was Clark's father.
Little by little, Lucas stopped crying and grew still in Lex's arms.
"It's gonna take awhile before he's used t'being alone. Lotta upheaval in losin' your folks. You don't remember, Clark, but you used t'cry a lot at night. Or whenever y'saw somethin' that reminded you o'them," Jonathan told them quietly.
"We're glad to have you here, Jonathan," Lex whispered sincerely.
"Lemme take him for the night. He'll like havin' his grandpa t'be with. You boys get some sleep," Jonathan suggested.
Lex smiled warmly and let Jonathan take the child into his arms. Clark thought that it wouldn't be too much longer before Lucas was too big for his old father to carry, but he said nothing for the moment and watched them go, taking Lex's hand.
He looked over into Lex's eyes and caught the smile there. "What?"
"Grandpa." Lex sighed. "His help will prove invaluable."
"I think so," Clark agreed. "Especially since you work and I've got school in a few weeks."
"We'll all make it. I talked to him about staying home so that Lucas would have a familiar face while you and I are out. And I can bring some things home to work on… It'll be fine," Lex assured him.
"When did you become an optimist?" Clark demanded.
"I'm not. You make one out of me every day we're together."
Clark took Lex into his arms once again, and Lex breathed deeply for a few moments, listening and waiting.
"You're waiting to see if he'll scream again, aren't you?" Clark asked.
Lex chuckled. "Yes."
"Well, boss, let's get washed and in our pajamas, and if he screams, we'll go out and help."
"Sounds like a plan. Take it as it comes."
***
One Month Later
Clark lifted Luc up, swinging him a little as he carried the boy onto the bus.
"Are you sure it's okay?" Luc asked as Clark shifted him onto his hip and paid the bus driver.
Luc always acted as though Clark was another one of the kids, which Clark guessed was probably a little true. Lex was top dog, and Jonathan was obviously Clark's father. It didn't take long to pick up who had authority, and it sure wasn't Clark.
He wouldn't have wanted it anyway.
"It's okay. I've gone to see Lex tons of times."
Some days, Lucas was inconsolable. He missed his mother. He even missed Lionel and his fuzzy whiskers. He didn't know any better but to love them, and for a set of people who Clark was sure were incapable of love, that seemed sad.
Lex loved the boy enough for a father, mother, brother, and sister, and maybe a few uncles on the side. Clark had to admit that at times he was jealous. Of anything that took Lex's time away, really, but thanks to Jonathan, they still had time together, and now that Clark had a couple of classes to keep up with, he didn't need Lex all the time.
That didn't, of course, mean that Clark didn't miss him any moment they were apart.
Lucas pointed at the two blue-haired little old ladies sitting next to one another on the bus, and Clark took his hand and shook his head. "Don't point, Luc."
"Can I have blue hair?"
Clark chuckled. "You'll have to ask Lex."
Not being 'daddy' had perks.
When they reached Saligner Hall where Lex's office was located, Clark took Luc's hand and walked him inside. A line of students moved past them, chattering inanely, and Clark took Luc to the elevator. He pressed the button.
A moment later he noticed that the button wasn't lighting up, so he sighed and took Luc with him up the five flights of stairs up to Lex's office. By then, Luc was squirming around impatiently.
Clark let out a grunt of frustration when he realized Lex's office door was locked. That wasn't right. Lex never skipped out on office hours. So up Luc went, onto his hip again, and he was halfway down, when he realized he could give Lex a call.
"Hey, where are you?" Clark asked.
"In the elevator. Where are you?" Lex replied peevishly.
"On the staircase. The elevator's broken." Clark waited for a moment for an answer, and then, "Ohhh."
Lex sighed.
"What floor are you on? Luc and I came up to say hi."
"I don't know. I'm stuck somewhere in between the third and fourth, I think. Could you go down to the front office? I've called the technician twice. I've been in here all day. "
"No way! That's not fair. Stay on, okay?" Clark headed down again and jogged into the front office. "Hey, Lex is still stuck in the elevator. Can you send the technician already?"
"I know they haven't gotten here yet," the department secretary said voice that seemed young for her face. "I'll call again, but I don't know how soon they'll be here."
"This sucks. Poor Lex," Clark lamented.
"Poor Lex indeed," Lex muttered.
Clark set Luc down on the bench to wait and settled beside him. "Have you eaten…? Oh, have you taken your pills?"
"They're in my office."
Clark frowned and held the phone to Luc's ear. "Tell Lex about your day, yeah?"
Lucas began to rattle on in one long, unending sentence about his morning with his grandfather and the people they'd seen on the bus. Clark had hope that listening to his little brother would give Lex a smile. It was rough to have to put up with things like this, but Lex was generally a pretty good sport about it.
It was another hour before someone showed up to fix the elevator, and another two before it was fixed. Clark only left to hit the union to get a snack for Luc, and remained on the phone with Lex the entire time, so he wouldn't feel alone.
When the doors finally opened, Clark and Luc were there clapping. Lex wheeled himself out with a soft grin and put down his phone. Clark lifted him up and gave him a squeeze before letting him down so that Luc could give him a hug too.
***
"Come over here, let me get a picture," Lex said, holding up the camera.
Clark dashed into the sitting room, clad in brightly colored tights and lifted Luc up. The boy was wearing a Warrior Angel costume for Halloween, and Clark posed the boy as though he were flying until Lex took the picture.
***
That morning, they had gotten a phone call from the state prison, and after conferring with Jonathan, Lex pulled Lucas up into his lap and let the boy talk to his mother. He talked excitedly with her about everything Clark and Lex did with him and answered all of her questions as much as he could, occasionally quirking his mouth to the side and frowning hard in thought.
When Martha told him that no, she couldn't come visit him, Luc's eyes grew wet and he hopped off Lex's lap and ran into the other room.
Lex looked to Jonathan and picked up the phone. "Martha, you're going to have to give him time. He just misses you, and he doesn't understand."
"I wish there were something I could do," Martha said weakly. "I waited my whole life for a son, and now I can't ever see him, because I tried to protect him."
Lex declined to comment on her version of protecting his brother and the wisdom of what she'd done. "You know that Lionel won't be able to get to him now. He's safe. And I hope you understand that Clark, Jonathan, and I are taking good care of him. The best we can."
"No. I believe that, Lex," Martha said in a fairly desperate tone. She was much more congenial now, in the way of someone who clearly wanted to tread lightly and get the most out of the remains of their situation.
That evening, they let Luc open his Christmas presents a day early.
Clark sat cross-legged beside Lucas, rubbing his little back and keeping the chatter up. Lex sat across from them, directing Clark to play "Santa" and distribute gifts as they were enjoying the holiday.
Clark made sure that he gave Lex his gift last, so that he would have time to focus on Lex's face when he opened the box.
"Oh, no. Clark, no, this is too-"
"Hey, it's not too anything. I talked with the owner of the shop and we worked out a deal," Clark replied quickly. He leaned over and squeezed Lex's thigh, watching him look through his old comics with wonder. Clark couldn't, of course, buy them all back, but he could get a few of Lex's favorites.
The look on Lex's face told Clark that he'd really hit the mark on this one.
***
Lex mused wryly that given his own penchant for delinquency (albeit nerdish delinquency), it was unsurprising that his brother should be sent to the office as soon as school was back in session. Clark kept a hand on the back of Lex's neck but didn't grip, a soft gesture that was at once protective and self-assuring. The young man seemed anxious. Lex reached over to squeeze his hand.
As they opened the door to the principal's office, Lucas bounded up to them and embraced Lex. "I want to go home."
"Luc," Lex protested. He pulled Lucas back just a bit and took a look at his face. "You're hurt!" He fixed his eyes on the secretary fiercely. "He's hurt," he repeated accusingly.
Clark knelt down to Lucas and lifted him up.
"Mr. Luthor, you should see the other boy," she told him sternly.
"Well, what did the other boy do?" Lex shot back, his lip curling sarcastically. He was about to say something rude when he heard Clark chuckling. "Don't encourage him, Clark."
Clark pressed his lips together trying not to laugh.
"What did the other boy do?" Lex repeated.
"He made fun 'o you!" Lucas complained.
"Of… Me?" Lex looked down at his brother and petted his hair. "Luc, you don't have to get into fights over me."
"Asa made fun of your legs!" Lucas pouted. "He sat on his… His shins. And he danced around with his juice cup out."
Lex's lips pursed deeply. "Well, isn't Asa an offensive little idiot?" he said dryly. He pulled Lucas to him and kissed his forehead. "Ignore him. I know it makes you mad. People are going to laugh and stare no matter what we do. But you know what? It doesn't matter. It doesn't hurt me if some kid thinks I look funny because my legs are gone. It won't hurt Clark and I if they make fun of our relationship. Not unless we let it hurt us."
Taking Lucas' hands, Lex looked into his eyes, and Clark knelt by them.
"We just have to be stronger and smarter than they are, and we have to know who we are. We're different, and if they can't understand, then they aren't worth your time, okay, Luc?" Lex continued. "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
The principal entered from his office and looked over the three of them. "Ah, Mr. Luthor. Mr. Kent. I need to have a word with you."
"Well, we need to have a word with you, too," Clark said in a booming voice as he rose to his feet. He stepped forward and offered the principal a hand, and the man looked slightly intimidated. Clark was a big guy.
Lex smiled up at Clark and wheeled into the office with Lucas in his lap. He was glad to have someone who looked imposing by his side, even if Lex would likely do most of the talking.
They made a great team.
Eight Years Later
Clark woke up sprawled over a bed.
A queen size, very soft, with dark blue silk sheets. The air was nice and warm, too. Aside from his dry lips and the fatigue he was experiencing (probably from the weather change), he felt pretty good.
That day had been a very pretty day. Too pretty for a funeral. The air had been too sweet, and the wind too light and refreshing.
Clark wasn't good at funerals. He'd known that for a long time. When they'd watched Helen Bryce get put in the ground, he'd practically had a breakdown. Now that Clark could remember who his parents were, Lex had occasionally taken him by the graveyard where they were buried. Clark had lost it every time. He'd been less melancholy and more guilty when Martha passed, but there were still a few tears, perhaps mostly on Lucas' behalf.
He'd even lost it when Lucas' pet rat died.
So Clark was feeling completely sympathetic. Lucas had been sulky ever since his Grandfather Jonathan's funeral, but day-by-day, things seemed to be getting better. Although Clark hadn't liked the boy at first, Luc had grown on him, and together they shared a history of being partially raised by Jonathan Kent.
Lex looked up at his brother, growing like a weed now, that Lucas, and gave him a reassuring smile. They all keenly felt the loss of this man, and in the end, surely each of them felt as though they had lost a father.
***
The decision to move after that had been an easy one. The girls, Daize and Mercy, had moved to California a few years prior to be closer to Mercy's family, and Metropolis held far too many memories of this wonderful man who had been there for them all.
Lex had begun looking for a job on the west coast only after consulting with his brother. They'd decided to wait for Clark's graduation before uprooting everything. But they'd gotten a referral from Dr. Yeh, and now that Luc was legally another of Lex's dependants, the bigger problem would be moving Clark.
Clark managed famously, however. Some nightmares here and there. Of course the voices popped in and out. His drawings and writings became ever more complex and bizarre.
Currently the room was lined with boxes. Clark had endured moves before. He preferred not to deal with them, if he could. It was unsettling to be in a new place. With new walls and new noises.
It didn't matter; as Lucas came into the room to tug on Clark's hand, he felt a sense of completeness. He was going to be dragged along to the beach. Lex didn't like to go, and he had been tired for the past couple of days. Certainly that worried Clark, but he realized that there would be on and off days. Today was an off day. Anyway, Lex was getting grumpy with Clark hovering over him too much.
They'd bring him back something silly from the beach.
***
One of these days, Lex told himself continuously, karma was going to make him pay for this happiness.
Upon further reflection, however, Lex decided each time that perhaps the pain of the previous years were being reflected now in how good life could be. Maybe it was a reward for the suffocating depression, the madness, the pain, the poverty, and the financial instability. Lex kept waiting for the bottom to drop out.
But it wasn't as though things were perfect, he rationalized. His insurance kept deferring them on the additional surgery his doctor wanted for his back, and if it weren't for Clark, Lex would probably be addicted to pain meds by now.
Damn that boy was good with his hands.
Publish or perish was a worry for Lex now, although he gladly took that stress over the grinding, never-ending hell that being a suit at LuthorCorp had offered. Lucas had a temper, which didn't alarm Lex much since it seemed to be a family trait, but occasionally got the boy in trouble at school. Lex had a fever the day before, which still scared Clark and made him shake not unlike a little boy. Lucas handled the fevers better than Clark did. Lex supposed that considering how dependant they were on one another, it certainly reflected in Clark's reaction to the slightest possibility that what they had might end.
It was hard to imagine living apart from one another.
With a soft sigh he wheeled into the sitting room, where Clark was sitting cross-legged on the sofa, and Lex watched his partner scribbling on a sketchpad with one of the special art pencils that Lex had gotten him for his birthday. It didn't matter if Clark never sold a thing. Lex felt honored to be privy to Clark's complex and immense inner world.
Oh, the things Lex could do in that world. Great things. Terrible things. Things that were both at once.
Clark looked oddly small as he sat there, not seeming to notice his surroundings as he rocked back and forth and drew on his pad. Lex approached him and said nothing for several moments.
The two of them were so bizarre.
A movement from Lex caught Clark's attention, and the younger man looked up with a wide grin.
"Hey."
"Hey, minion. How are you doing?"
Clark got up onto his knees and lifted Lex just a little, so that he could pull him into his lap. "Pretty good. I'm like a cat. I don't do well with change. But I'm getting used to it here."
"I'm glad. Honestly, I like the climate," Lex replied.
"You hate the cold."
"I do." Lex leaned into Clark's expansive chest and felt Clark's arms wrap around his waist. "How was your session this morning?"
"Dr. Carter isn't bad. He's less of a jerk than Dr. Yeh."
Lex chuckled. "I thought that you liked Dr. Yeh."
"I do. But she's a jerk. I mean, she's really cold. Dr. Carter is more friendly."
"Maybe that's what you need right now. Someone who's less of a taskmaster and more of a…"
"Sounding board for my crazy."
The corners of Lex's mouth twitched slightly. "Exactly."
Clark rubbed Lex's stomach softly and pressed a kiss to the back of his head. Lex closed his eyes for a moment, until he heard Lucas' shoes pounding on the hardwood floor as he ran in from school.
"Hey, Luc," Lex said as he looked up. "How was your day?"
The boy stopped at the door and blinked only once, recognizing that he'd interrupted something intimate. "Cool," he replied. "Staci wants me to spend the night so we can watch the new Star Wars movies together. Their house has a room with a huge TV and blackout curtains."
"Staci is a guy?" Lex asked, raising a brow.
Luc rolled his eyes. "Come on. Like you could be sure something wasn't going on if Staci was a guy. Girls can be friends."
"Yeah, Lex, don't be so close-minded." Clark poked Lex's side.
"Stop it, you," Lex warned Clark.
"Come onnn," Luc whined.
"Fine. I want to talk to Staci's parents first, though. Get me the phone," Lex ordered.
Lucas pumped his fist and ran off to fetch it.
"They must have already asked her parents, 'cause he thinks it's in the bag," Clark commented.
"It might be." Lex sighed. "It's just odd to get to the point where I'm trusting that we taught Luc properly."
"You knew it was coming, Mommy."
"Ha."
When Luc bounded back into the room, he gave Lex the phone and rattled off the phone number so that Lex could spend a few minutes on the phone with Staci's father. Reassured, Lex indicated to Luc that he should pack a bag, and they'd take him.
"Do you remember…?" Clark began as they drove back home after dropping Luc off.
Lex cast a brief look in Clark's direction. "What?"
"The time on the bridge…"
Lex smiled, knowing that Clark was talking about their first kiss, certainly, and not what had come before. "Do you ever want to go back to visit there? I know we haven't been here long, but we could, on a break, if you wanted to, take a trip out to visit the old farm and your friends from school."
"Not really. I think…We're done with that place," Clark replied after a moment. "Anyone I care about I talk to online anyway, and the girls are here with us. Without Dad there, I don't have much reason to go back."
Lex nodded and turned onto the road to their house.
For about three weeks, they had all referred to their new place as "the apartment," simply out of habit. It was, however, a house of a decent middling size, considering the cost of living in California; with the space they needed but not too big. Lex was able to keep most of his working materials in the office and therefore, keep the clutter of studying and writing and grading papers out of their modest home.
It was a nice little house, painted a colorful robin's egg blue, which Clark liked of course, with a widows peak window on the roof, and inside they had hardwood floors and decently insulated walls. The windows were extremely large, another concession to Clark, but Luc also, who preferred the natural light to the electric. It was fine with Lex, though, since too much light gave him headaches, even now.
Driving up to his house, Lex considered the freshness of a move. He didn't mind it as much as Clark did because when you first moved, everything was nice and clean, and orderly, but the longer you stayed in one place, the more mess accrued. Such was life, anyway, the mess comes and goes. You get rid of it, and it comes back. Nothing ever stays neat for long.
Given that along with the mess came Clark and Lucas, Lex would make the concession.
"Let's hang out on the porch," Clark suggested as he helped Lex out of the car. The sun was setting behind the house. "Reminds me of the fortress. You know, the barn, and how I'd sit up there for hours. It was gorgeous. Sometimes I'd hang out there all night to see the sun rise."
"You want to?" Lex asked, wheeling himself up the ramp.
"What, stay up for sunrise?" Clark asked with surprise.
"Why not?" Lex smirked playfully. "I'm sure we could think of something to do to pass the time."
"Not that we could do outside."
Lex laughed deeply, and looked up at his partner, who put a gentle hand on his shoulder. Every single day, just like the day their lives had figuratively and literally collided, they changed one another. Changed and shaped, and became ever closer as they filled in the cracks of their fellow broken person. Lex had never been whole on his own due to the events in his upbringing, and Clark's mind had surely shattered early on, unheeded by the people around him, but somehow, they worked. Somehow together, the uncertainty and mess of life that would always come was so much more bearable when one knew the other was there behind him, ready to catch him if he fell.
That night they couldn't quite stay up to see the sunrise. During the time between sunset and sunrise, Lex curled into Clark's lap and listened to the brilliant and vaguely mad tales cooked up by the love of his life. Long, complex, and amazing yarns that went this way and that, and seemed almost neverending. Lex nodded off, secure in Clark's big arms, and Clark kissed the top of Lex's head, knowing that together, neither had anything to fear from being sick.
FIN