Father: Okay, girls, get your hairspray and turquoise eyeliner.
Daughter: Why?
Father: We're going to Staten Island!
- overheardinnyc.com"I used to drink and take drugs and do whatever I thought was hardcore in order not to feel. It's like I'm a painter, who finds it easy slapping great blasts of oil on a canvas. What I have to learn to do now is ( Read more... )

Five-year-old boy to mom: Does it feel weird to have a vagina?
Mom: Well, I've had one my whole life, so it feels normal to me.
Five-year-old boy: I wish I knew what it felt like to have one!
Mom: I'm pretty sure you'll be a member of the LGBT community anyway, so maybe you'll find out.
Five-year-old boy: What's LGBT?
Mom: You'll find out soon ( Read more... )

Redneck man with mullet coming out of bathroom: Well, son, that was some mighty fine hand dryer, wudn't it?
Son,excitedly: Yeah, pops, sure was!
- overheardeverywhere.com

"People who are good with words are forever searching for the right way to express themselves, and that's why they have no clarity." - Laura Marling"Acting deals with very ( Read more... )

Amelia Pond: What's wrong with you?
The Doctor: Wrong with me? It's not my fault. Why can't you give me any decent food? You're Scottish, fry something.
- Doctor Who, episode 5.01

14-year-old boy #1: You ever play any Chopin?
14-year-old boy #2: Yeah, I played one of his last year.
14-year-old boy #1: Can you play Fantasie-Impromptu? That one's ( Read more... )

Kirk Lazarus: Everybody knows you never go full retard.
Tugg Speedman: What do you mean?
Kirk Lazarus: Check it out. Dustin Hoffman, 'Rain Man,' look retarded, act retarded, not retarded. Counted toothpicks, cheated cards. Autistic, sho'. Not retarded. You know Tom Hanks, 'Forrest Gump.' Slow, yes. Retarded, maybe. Braces on his legs. But he ( Read more... )

"To the well-organized mind, death is but another great adventure." - J.K. Rowling"So when I was beating the guy, I started thinking, 'What if I was Hannah Montana?' ... And little do they know that that's why I look so insane ... I'm torturing myself with thoughts of, 'How could I actually pull off being a high school student and a pop star at ( Read more... )

"I can live without the auto industry. I can accept that Fannie Mae may kick my fanny out of my bungalow, but I can’t live in a world without well-crafted and beautifully-lit pornography. Call me a romantic." - Taylor Negron

Crush: Dude? Dude? Focus dude... Dude?
[Marlin wakes up]
Crush: Oh, he lives. Hey, dude!
Marlin: Oh... What happened?
Crush: ( Read more... )

A.J: What's with you? Yesterday you were normal and today you're like the Chinese guy from Karate Kid. What's with you today?
Lucas: What's with today, today?
- Empire Records

"You don’t have a soul. You are a soul. You have a body." - C.S. Lewis

"Every man dies, not every man really lives." - anonymous

Blair: If you cut revenge out of the bible ( Read more... )

"Damaged people are dangerous. They know they can survive." - Josephine Hart

"Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, I’m not going to make it, but you laugh inside - remembering all the times you’ve felt that way." - Charles Bukowski

"I’m not suicidal, I just can't get out of bed" - Emily Haines"James Dean taught me not to ( Read more... )

"I'm really afraid of getting hit by cars, like terrified of it. I'm terrified of crossing streets. I'm also very accident-prone...I think people aim for me." - Robert Pattinson"I was taking out my trash and I had like 300 cans of Diet Coke. I was like, 'How did that happen?' I don't even remember buying them. I also like Cinnamon Toast Crunch. My ( Read more... )