Amelia Pond: What's wrong with you?
The Doctor: Wrong with me? It's not my fault. Why can't you give me any decent food? You're Scottish, fry something.
- Doctor Who, episode 5.01

14-year-old boy #1: You ever play any Chopin?
14-year-old boy #2: Yeah, I played one of his last year.
14-year-old boy #1: Can you play Fantasie-Impromptu? That one's ( Read more... )

Kirk Lazarus: Everybody knows you never go full retard.
Tugg Speedman: What do you mean?
Kirk Lazarus: Check it out. Dustin Hoffman, 'Rain Man,' look retarded, act retarded, not retarded. Counted toothpicks, cheated cards. Autistic, sho'. Not retarded. You know Tom Hanks, 'Forrest Gump.' Slow, yes. Retarded, maybe. Braces on his legs. But he ( Read more... )

Crunchy hippie: We were on the way to the bee colony to harvest some honey, but then I thought, Dude! It's time for a drum circle.
- overheardeverywhere.com

"I've failed as much as I've succeeded, but I love my life." - Jerry Maquire"Geologists may have mapped out the planet's tectonic plates - hidden shelves of rock that grind, one against the ( Read more... )

Hobo: I want to cum on your face.
Young woman: Uhhh... Well, at least he's being up-front -- putting all the cards on the table. I guess I respect that
- overheardinnyc.com

Yuppie: You know, that's a very expensive beer you're not drinking.
Girlfriend: Can't we have one night where you don't quote American Psycho?
Yuppie: Oh, he bought her ( Read more... )

Eight-year-old: I believe the fanny dance is in order here.
Amused passerby: Awww, what is the fanny dance?
Eight-year-old: Wouldn't you like to know.
- overheardeverywhere.com

Guy on cell: Um, I think I just saw Tony Danza ride past me on roller blades.
Tony Danza: Yeah, ya did!
- overheardinnyc.com"In the gift shop, Sam lingers over hardback ( Read more... )

"We don’t have chemistry. Or banter. Or common interests. You’re a yoga instructor. You get colonics. You don’t appreciate the chaos and absurdity of life on this planet and in this city. You don’t understand irony, or ethnicity, or eccentricity, or poetry, or the simple joy of being a regular at the diner on your block -- I love that!
You don’t ( Read more... )