(no subject)
"I can live without the auto industry. I can accept that Fannie Mae may kick my fanny out of my bungalow, but I can’t live in a world without well-crafted and beautifully-lit pornography. Call me a romantic." - Taylor Negron
Crush: Dude? Dude? Focus dude... Dude?
[Marlin wakes up]
Crush: Oh, he lives. Hey, dude!
Marlin: Oh... What happened?
Crush: Saw the whole thing, dude. First you were all like "whoa", and we were like "whoa", and you were like "whoa..."
Marlin: What are you talking about?
Crush: You, Mini-Man, takin' on the jellies. You've got serious thrill issues, dude. Awesome.
Marlin: Oh, my stomach. Ohh.
Crush: Oh, man. Hey, no hurling on the shell, dude, ok? Just waxed it.
Marlin: So, Mr. Turtle...?
Crush: Whoa, Dude. Mister Turtle is my father. The name's Crush.
- Finding Nemo
"Climb in my mouth if. You want. To live." - Nigel, Finding Nemo
"I shall call him Squishy and he shall be mine and he shall be my Squishy." - Dory, Finding Nemo
"It’s not about the hundred people whose minds you can’t change. It’s about the two people you empower." - Beth Ditto
"I hate to advocated drugs, alcohol, violence or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me." - Hunter S. Thompson
"Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everybody I've ever known." - Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters
Jack: Chuck, your father wouldn’t have wanted this.
Chuck: Dear old Dad? Unfortunately all I know is what he didn’t want. Which is me. I’m Chuck Bass!!!...No one cares.
Blair: I do. Don’t you understand? I’ll always be here. I don’t want you going anywhere. I couldn’t bear it. So whatever you want to do to yourself, please don’t do it to me. Please.
Chuck: I’m sorry.
Blair: It’s okay.
- Gossip Girl
"Beer makes you miss people that you probably shouldn't miss." - niethen
"Life is an endless recruiting of witnesses" - Carol Shields, The Stone Diaries.
Sam: It appeared before me and I just... this feeling washed over me. Like peace. Like grace.
Dean: Okay, ecstasy boy. Maybe we’ll get you some glow sticks and a nice Dr. Seuss hat.
- Supernatural
"Sam and Patrick looked at me. And I looked at them. And I think they knew. Not anything specific really. They just knew. And I think that's all you can ever ask from a friend." - Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower
"If you’re at a party and you see Michael Phelps smoking a bong and your first thought isn’t 'wow I get to party with Michael Phelps' and instead you take a picture and sell it to a tabloid, then you need to take a long look at a mirror because you’re a DICK.” - Seth Meyers, SNL
"Not everything comes along just when we want it. There are times when decisions just have to be made, or you certainly will miss out." - Miss Pettigrew Lives For A Day
"To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved." - George MacDonald
"No matter what the ending, my life began with you." - anonymous
"A ship in port is safe, but that’s not what ships are built for." - Grace Murray Hopper
"I wanna thank my parents for somehow raising me to have confidence that is disproportionate with my looks and abilities. Well done, that is what all parents should do." - Tina Fey, 2008 Emmy Acceptance speech
"And now here is my secret, a very simple secret; it is only with the heart that one can see rightly, what is essential is invisible to the eye." - Antoine de Saint-Exupery
(405): Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
(1-405): Which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
- textsfromlastnight.com
(212): I’m in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth. - textsfromlastnight.com
"J. K. Rowling has revealed that the inspiration for Dementors came from her bout with severe depression prior to her phenomenal success. She described them as an 'absence of being able to envisage that you will ever be cheerful again. The absence of hope. That very deadened feeling, which is so very different from feeling sad.'" - fuckyeahfacts
Marshall: I hate New York! I'm sorry, but it's true! Today, I was walking around PriceCo. Have you been there? It's huge! All the stores in New York are so cramped! Every time I turn around I knock something over. I'm like some huge monster that came out of the oceans to destroy bodegas! ...I'm too big for New York, okay! I'm always trying to fit into cramped little subway seats, or duck under doorways that were built a hundred and fifty years ago. "Hey, people are bigger now! Build bigger doorways! What the hell is wrong with you?" ...And it's so loud. All the time. Yes, I know it's the city that never sleeps, but guess what? I like to sleep! I've been tired for eight years! Tired and scared, with black and blue marks on my elbows from trying to fit into all these tiny elf doorways! New Jersey's great! It's got huge stores, and lawns, and you never have to carry a cup again! For the rest of your life! I'm not afraid to say it: I love New Jersey! [sees Lily's face] I'm just kidding.
- How I Met Your Mother
Five-year-old girl to little boy: What happened to our baby?
Little boy: Don't you worry about that baby, woman! I threw it in the trash!
- overheardeverywhere.com
"I spent so much time praying, I've run out of things to say. I'm having awkward silences with God!" - Olive, Pushing Daisies
"This is Doctor Sheldon Cooper. Yeah, I need to cancel my membership to the Planetarium… Well I’m sorry too, but there’s just no room for you in my wallet… Yeah, I understand, but it was between you and the Museum of Natural History, and frankly, you don’t have dinosaurs...Well I’ll miss you too. Bye bye." - Shedon (The Big Bang Theory, 1x08)
"Lemon, what tragedy happened in your life that you insist on punishing yourself with all of this mediocrity?" - Jack Donaghy, 30 Rock
Crush: Dude? Dude? Focus dude... Dude?
[Marlin wakes up]
Crush: Oh, he lives. Hey, dude!
Marlin: Oh... What happened?
Crush: Saw the whole thing, dude. First you were all like "whoa", and we were like "whoa", and you were like "whoa..."
Marlin: What are you talking about?
Crush: You, Mini-Man, takin' on the jellies. You've got serious thrill issues, dude. Awesome.
Marlin: Oh, my stomach. Ohh.
Crush: Oh, man. Hey, no hurling on the shell, dude, ok? Just waxed it.
Marlin: So, Mr. Turtle...?
Crush: Whoa, Dude. Mister Turtle is my father. The name's Crush.
- Finding Nemo
"Climb in my mouth if. You want. To live." - Nigel, Finding Nemo
"I shall call him Squishy and he shall be mine and he shall be my Squishy." - Dory, Finding Nemo
"It’s not about the hundred people whose minds you can’t change. It’s about the two people you empower." - Beth Ditto
"I hate to advocated drugs, alcohol, violence or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me." - Hunter S. Thompson
"Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everybody I've ever known." - Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters
Jack: Chuck, your father wouldn’t have wanted this.
Chuck: Dear old Dad? Unfortunately all I know is what he didn’t want. Which is me. I’m Chuck Bass!!!...No one cares.
Blair: I do. Don’t you understand? I’ll always be here. I don’t want you going anywhere. I couldn’t bear it. So whatever you want to do to yourself, please don’t do it to me. Please.
Chuck: I’m sorry.
Blair: It’s okay.
- Gossip Girl
"Beer makes you miss people that you probably shouldn't miss." - niethen
"Life is an endless recruiting of witnesses" - Carol Shields, The Stone Diaries.
Sam: It appeared before me and I just... this feeling washed over me. Like peace. Like grace.
Dean: Okay, ecstasy boy. Maybe we’ll get you some glow sticks and a nice Dr. Seuss hat.
- Supernatural
"Sam and Patrick looked at me. And I looked at them. And I think they knew. Not anything specific really. They just knew. And I think that's all you can ever ask from a friend." - Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower
"If you’re at a party and you see Michael Phelps smoking a bong and your first thought isn’t 'wow I get to party with Michael Phelps' and instead you take a picture and sell it to a tabloid, then you need to take a long look at a mirror because you’re a DICK.” - Seth Meyers, SNL
"Not everything comes along just when we want it. There are times when decisions just have to be made, or you certainly will miss out." - Miss Pettigrew Lives For A Day
"To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved." - George MacDonald
"No matter what the ending, my life began with you." - anonymous
"A ship in port is safe, but that’s not what ships are built for." - Grace Murray Hopper
"I wanna thank my parents for somehow raising me to have confidence that is disproportionate with my looks and abilities. Well done, that is what all parents should do." - Tina Fey, 2008 Emmy Acceptance speech
"And now here is my secret, a very simple secret; it is only with the heart that one can see rightly, what is essential is invisible to the eye." - Antoine de Saint-Exupery
(405): Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
(1-405): Which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
- textsfromlastnight.com
(212): I’m in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth. - textsfromlastnight.com
"J. K. Rowling has revealed that the inspiration for Dementors came from her bout with severe depression prior to her phenomenal success. She described them as an 'absence of being able to envisage that you will ever be cheerful again. The absence of hope. That very deadened feeling, which is so very different from feeling sad.'" - fuckyeahfacts
Marshall: I hate New York! I'm sorry, but it's true! Today, I was walking around PriceCo. Have you been there? It's huge! All the stores in New York are so cramped! Every time I turn around I knock something over. I'm like some huge monster that came out of the oceans to destroy bodegas! ...I'm too big for New York, okay! I'm always trying to fit into cramped little subway seats, or duck under doorways that were built a hundred and fifty years ago. "Hey, people are bigger now! Build bigger doorways! What the hell is wrong with you?" ...And it's so loud. All the time. Yes, I know it's the city that never sleeps, but guess what? I like to sleep! I've been tired for eight years! Tired and scared, with black and blue marks on my elbows from trying to fit into all these tiny elf doorways! New Jersey's great! It's got huge stores, and lawns, and you never have to carry a cup again! For the rest of your life! I'm not afraid to say it: I love New Jersey! [sees Lily's face] I'm just kidding.
- How I Met Your Mother
Five-year-old girl to little boy: What happened to our baby?
Little boy: Don't you worry about that baby, woman! I threw it in the trash!
- overheardeverywhere.com
"I spent so much time praying, I've run out of things to say. I'm having awkward silences with God!" - Olive, Pushing Daisies
"This is Doctor Sheldon Cooper. Yeah, I need to cancel my membership to the Planetarium… Well I’m sorry too, but there’s just no room for you in my wallet… Yeah, I understand, but it was between you and the Museum of Natural History, and frankly, you don’t have dinosaurs...Well I’ll miss you too. Bye bye." - Shedon (The Big Bang Theory, 1x08)
"Lemon, what tragedy happened in your life that you insist on punishing yourself with all of this mediocrity?" - Jack Donaghy, 30 Rock