FIC: Catalyst (part 20) (Harry Sinclair, Karl Urban, Orlando Bloom, Dave Wenham)
Title: "Catalyst" (Part Twenty)
Authors: Brenda (azewewish) & Jo (idiosyncratic)
Series: Claimed Universe
Notes: Click here for full disclaimers and pairings.
Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven | Part Eight | Part Nine | Part Ten | Part Eleven | Part Twelve | Part Thirteen | Part Fourteen | Part Fifteen | Part Sixteen | Part Seventeen | Part Eighteen | Part Nineteen
Karl stopped Harry once they got to the sidewalk. "Where are we going?" he asked quietly. He didn't mind admitting, if only to himself, that he was a little scared at how quiet Harry was. He hadn't seen Harry like this in quite awhile.
"I, uh..." Harry stopped, looked around. He looked unsure, lost. So unlike his Harry that Karl's heart broke all over again. "I don't know."
"Why don't we head towards the hotel," Karl suggested. He reached out and took Harry's hand. The coolness of Harry's skin bothered him.
"That's fine," Harry replied, and set out. Karl knew, from long and painful experience, that he could only push Harry so much. And that the most important thing he could do was be there. Something he hadn't done when Lauren had died.
He had no idea why he was thinking it now, after all these years, but it was true. He should have postponed the binding ceremony with Orlando. Should have thought about something that wasn't himself. Maybe, if he'd done that, he'd have seen what he was supposed to have seen, and he could have nudged Harry and Orlando together enough so that Dave wouldn't have been quite the factor he'd been.
Not that Karl regretted Dave, or their all-too-brief time together. But he hated this feeling of helplessness, this emptiness in his head that he knew Harry had to be feeling tenfold. Failure wasn't something that Harry tolerated in the best of times.
They walked in silence for a few minutes, then Karl cleared his throat. "Can I ask you something?"
Harry just nodded.
"It's going to seem unusual." That was one way of putting it. And Karl couldn't quite believe he was thinking it, or why, but he had the urge to ask.
"The whole night's been odd," Harry said, voice low and pained, but he managed a small smile. "Go on."
"Have you ever taken Orlando to see Lauren's grave?"
Harry shook his head. "No, why?"
"Has he ever asked about her?" Karl pressed, even though he was certain he already knew the answer.
"Not really. You know I don't talk about her."
"Maybe it's time you should."
Harry frowned. "I don't..."
"Harry." Karl stepped close, ignored the people moving around them. Ignored everything and everyone that wasn't Harry. "She's gone. And there will always be a hole there. But if you keep her bottled up, you will forget her. We've both seen it happen."
"I know," Harry quietly admitted, his voice hoarse. "It's just...difficult. You know this."
"I know." Karl cupped Harry's face, stubble rough under his palm, and gently tilted Harry's head until he could look him in the eye. "But Orlando is going to be a part of you for the rest of your life. It's time you shared her with him."
"I'll try."
Karl nodded, knowing he was lucky to get that much of a concession. They resumed walking in silence, and Karl wanted to speak, wanted to ask, wanted to dip into Harry's thoughts, but he didn't. When he finally looked around to get his bearings, he was surprised to find they were in front of the hotel.
"Feel up to heading upstairs?" he asked, studying Harry's profile.
Harry nodded, the motion jerky, but didn't say anything. He kept his silence the entire elevator ride up, and while he unlocked the door to their suite. The second they both stepped inside, Harry's arms were around him, pulling him into a tight, almost painful, embrace. Karl simply hugged him back, trying to pour all of his love into their bond.
They stayed like that for a long time, neither moving nor saying anything. Finally, Harry dropped his head on Karl's shoulder, and shuddered, letting out a slow, painful breath. "You know the worst part?" The words were muffled, but Karl heard them clearly.
"What's that?"
"I miss him so much, but I'm also so relieved."
Karl was so startled by the admission that he laughed before he could stop himself. Pulling back, he framed Harry's face in his hands and smiled. "If we're going to be honest...so am I." He brushed a light kiss over Harry's lips. "We'll get over not having him in our heads and not having the bond. And I think we'll have a better relationship with him now."
Harry's laughter was rusty, but still the most beautiful sound in the world. "Well, it can hardly get worse."
"True."
"So..." Harry cocked his head in the direction of the bedroom. "Feel like heading to bed?"
"Definitely," Karl replied, and pulled him into the room, shutting the door behind them. Orlando and Josh were in the safest of hands with Viggo, and tonight, all Karl wanted to do was concentrate on Harry, and on reaffirming their bond with each other.
Everything else could wait.
(To Be Continued)
Authors: Brenda (azewewish) & Jo (idiosyncratic)
Series: Claimed Universe
Notes: Click here for full disclaimers and pairings.
Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven | Part Eight | Part Nine | Part Ten | Part Eleven | Part Twelve | Part Thirteen | Part Fourteen | Part Fifteen | Part Sixteen | Part Seventeen | Part Eighteen | Part Nineteen
Karl stopped Harry once they got to the sidewalk. "Where are we going?" he asked quietly. He didn't mind admitting, if only to himself, that he was a little scared at how quiet Harry was. He hadn't seen Harry like this in quite awhile.
"I, uh..." Harry stopped, looked around. He looked unsure, lost. So unlike his Harry that Karl's heart broke all over again. "I don't know."
"Why don't we head towards the hotel," Karl suggested. He reached out and took Harry's hand. The coolness of Harry's skin bothered him.
"That's fine," Harry replied, and set out. Karl knew, from long and painful experience, that he could only push Harry so much. And that the most important thing he could do was be there. Something he hadn't done when Lauren had died.
He had no idea why he was thinking it now, after all these years, but it was true. He should have postponed the binding ceremony with Orlando. Should have thought about something that wasn't himself. Maybe, if he'd done that, he'd have seen what he was supposed to have seen, and he could have nudged Harry and Orlando together enough so that Dave wouldn't have been quite the factor he'd been.
Not that Karl regretted Dave, or their all-too-brief time together. But he hated this feeling of helplessness, this emptiness in his head that he knew Harry had to be feeling tenfold. Failure wasn't something that Harry tolerated in the best of times.
They walked in silence for a few minutes, then Karl cleared his throat. "Can I ask you something?"
Harry just nodded.
"It's going to seem unusual." That was one way of putting it. And Karl couldn't quite believe he was thinking it, or why, but he had the urge to ask.
"The whole night's been odd," Harry said, voice low and pained, but he managed a small smile. "Go on."
"Have you ever taken Orlando to see Lauren's grave?"
Harry shook his head. "No, why?"
"Has he ever asked about her?" Karl pressed, even though he was certain he already knew the answer.
"Not really. You know I don't talk about her."
"Maybe it's time you should."
Harry frowned. "I don't..."
"Harry." Karl stepped close, ignored the people moving around them. Ignored everything and everyone that wasn't Harry. "She's gone. And there will always be a hole there. But if you keep her bottled up, you will forget her. We've both seen it happen."
"I know," Harry quietly admitted, his voice hoarse. "It's just...difficult. You know this."
"I know." Karl cupped Harry's face, stubble rough under his palm, and gently tilted Harry's head until he could look him in the eye. "But Orlando is going to be a part of you for the rest of your life. It's time you shared her with him."
"I'll try."
Karl nodded, knowing he was lucky to get that much of a concession. They resumed walking in silence, and Karl wanted to speak, wanted to ask, wanted to dip into Harry's thoughts, but he didn't. When he finally looked around to get his bearings, he was surprised to find they were in front of the hotel.
"Feel up to heading upstairs?" he asked, studying Harry's profile.
Harry nodded, the motion jerky, but didn't say anything. He kept his silence the entire elevator ride up, and while he unlocked the door to their suite. The second they both stepped inside, Harry's arms were around him, pulling him into a tight, almost painful, embrace. Karl simply hugged him back, trying to pour all of his love into their bond.
They stayed like that for a long time, neither moving nor saying anything. Finally, Harry dropped his head on Karl's shoulder, and shuddered, letting out a slow, painful breath. "You know the worst part?" The words were muffled, but Karl heard them clearly.
"What's that?"
"I miss him so much, but I'm also so relieved."
Karl was so startled by the admission that he laughed before he could stop himself. Pulling back, he framed Harry's face in his hands and smiled. "If we're going to be honest...so am I." He brushed a light kiss over Harry's lips. "We'll get over not having him in our heads and not having the bond. And I think we'll have a better relationship with him now."
Harry's laughter was rusty, but still the most beautiful sound in the world. "Well, it can hardly get worse."
"True."
"So..." Harry cocked his head in the direction of the bedroom. "Feel like heading to bed?"
"Definitely," Karl replied, and pulled him into the room, shutting the door behind them. Orlando and Josh were in the safest of hands with Viggo, and tonight, all Karl wanted to do was concentrate on Harry, and on reaffirming their bond with each other.
Everything else could wait.
(To Be Continued)