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Putting my thoughts to "paper"...
I'm pretty sure no one reads this anymore and for that, I guess I'm glad. This is more an outlet than anything else. A format of yesteryear now rendered obsolete with today's insta-apps that barely touch the surface. I take solace that this is my space. A place I can put my thoughts to paper, so to speak. So for now, a poem...
The inside is still ( Read more... ) -
Checking out...
Two nights ago my husband tried to choke me and slap me during an argument. He ran to me and slammed me against the wall with his hands around my neck as he proceeded to pull one arm back to slap me in the face. He stopped himself but I pushed him to "do what he's always wanted to do"... he didn't but it was a breaking point.
I begged him to stay ( Read more... ) -
The moment I knew?
It's always around the New Year that I start to analyze my life and the year that's led up to my current situation. My last update was looking up, today, I'm not sure where I'm looking.
A few months after my last post, Mr. Fantastic proposed. We'd been going through many changes in our separate lives and it only made sense for us to stick together ( Read more... ) -
Revisiting my dreams...
And so another year passes ( Read more... ) -
nostalgia? melancholy? the gaping abyss that eludes me...
It's been a while... I say that all the time but as the months go by I start to wonder how much longer I'll keep this journal around ( Read more... ) -
Awkward as the day is long...
So here I am at a bar hanging out with my boyfriend's so-called best friend and also ex-girlfriend... And she's hardly said a word to me... Her boyfriend has been more of a conversationalist and has actually thought to include me in whatever he starts to talk about. Now, I know it's not cuz she's jealous or mad or anything like that... I've tried ( Read more... ) -
it's official...
I'm in love. We're in love. He refers to me as fiancee (not around others tho, we don't wanna freak people out)... and he pushes me to take better care of myself. Last night I was doing poorly and he wanted to take me to the hospital. In typical fashion, I ignore it and just push through my pain. He told me how much he worries about me because ( Read more... ) -
sometimes I wonder...
I know, I've been talking about this a lot but it's kinda the thing that's going on in my life right now... other than my job. Oh, did I mention my job? Yeah, I got a new job... I work at a hotel now. But more about that later ( Read more... ) -
and so it begins... now comes the scary part, right?
So it looks like my anniversary date will be November 3rd, or at least that was when we both realized it was futile to say that we had no label on our relationship. I have a boyfriend. It is, of course, still honeymoon stages considering it's only been a couple weeks but we've already had a couple snags (pseudo fights/arguments) that we handled ( Read more... ) -
is this real?
He makes me smile... he tells me I'm beautiful and I can see behind his eyes he truly believes it... he holds me in his arms and I feel safe. And try as we might to take it slow somehow things just seem to fit. That's not to say that this is it; I don't wanna get ahead of myself and I'm not being unrealistic... we're both trying to play it smart ( Read more... )