and so it begins... now comes the scary part, right?
So it looks like my anniversary date will be November 3rd, or at least that was when we both realized it was futile to say that we had no label on our relationship. I have a boyfriend. It is, of course, still honeymoon stages considering it's only been a couple weeks but we've already had a couple snags (pseudo fights/arguments) that we handled fantastically (no hurt feelings and we were adult about saying sorry)... and realistically, they were hardly fights at all, mostly us trying to work out our baggage from the past.
You know there's that line in RENT (the musical) about looking for someone whose "baggage goes with mine"... I feel like that's applicable. We don't ignore the fact we both have trust issues or other relationship hang-ups that have left us "damaged", instead we talk it through and perhaps over-communicate how we feel and where our head space is and what's going on... even the crazy thoughts get shared. And it feels right and healthy.
We even have a song... Bruno Mars' Just The Way You Are describes us perfectly. I told him the other day that hearing the song makes me think of him because he tells me I'm beautiful all the time. He'd never fully listened to the song until we were in the car yesterday. He couldn't help grinning and laughing at how every lyric seemed to be telling our story; "a day in the life of" almost.
So, we're official. We have a song, we have communication, we have a relationship; I have a boyfriend. But now is really when I start to get scared. I begin to think of all the things that could go wrong, try to figure out the expiration date of the relationship, and wonder about plans (both his and mine) and what to do about them. I know it's too soon to be thinking about all of this but we've talked about it (even about how it's logically too soon but admittedly the thoughts have crossed our minds) and we know the plans can change, they might change, but at least we know where we stand with each other right now.
This is real. And I really like it. I'm just terrified... but somehow, being this terrified makes me that much more hopeful that this could work.
You know there's that line in RENT (the musical) about looking for someone whose "baggage goes with mine"... I feel like that's applicable. We don't ignore the fact we both have trust issues or other relationship hang-ups that have left us "damaged", instead we talk it through and perhaps over-communicate how we feel and where our head space is and what's going on... even the crazy thoughts get shared. And it feels right and healthy.
We even have a song... Bruno Mars' Just The Way You Are describes us perfectly. I told him the other day that hearing the song makes me think of him because he tells me I'm beautiful all the time. He'd never fully listened to the song until we were in the car yesterday. He couldn't help grinning and laughing at how every lyric seemed to be telling our story; "a day in the life of" almost.
So, we're official. We have a song, we have communication, we have a relationship; I have a boyfriend. But now is really when I start to get scared. I begin to think of all the things that could go wrong, try to figure out the expiration date of the relationship, and wonder about plans (both his and mine) and what to do about them. I know it's too soon to be thinking about all of this but we've talked about it (even about how it's logically too soon but admittedly the thoughts have crossed our minds) and we know the plans can change, they might change, but at least we know where we stand with each other right now.
This is real. And I really like it. I'm just terrified... but somehow, being this terrified makes me that much more hopeful that this could work.