Two nights ago my husband tried to choke me and slap me during an argument. He ran to me and slammed me against the wall with his hands around my neck as he proceeded to pull one arm back to slap me in the face. He stopped himself but I pushed him to "do what he's always wanted to do"... he didn't but it was a breaking point.

I begged him to stay ( Read more... )

It's been a while... I say that all the time but as the months go by I start to wonder how much longer I'll keep this journal around ( Read more... )

I'm in love. We're in love. He refers to me as fiancee (not around others tho, we don't wanna freak people out)... and he pushes me to take better care of myself. Last night I was doing poorly and he wanted to take me to the hospital. In typical fashion, I ignore it and just push through my pain. He told me how much he worries about me because ( Read more... )

I know, I've been talking about this a lot but it's kinda the thing that's going on in my life right now... other than my job. Oh, did I mention my job? Yeah, I got a new job... I work at a hotel now. But more about that later ( Read more... )

So it looks like my anniversary date will be November 3rd, or at least that was when we both realized it was futile to say that we had no label on our relationship. I have a boyfriend. It is, of course, still honeymoon stages considering it's only been a couple weeks but we've already had a couple snags (pseudo fights/arguments) that we handled ( Read more... )

He makes me smile... he tells me I'm beautiful and I can see behind his eyes he truly believes it... he holds me in his arms and I feel safe. And try as we might to take it slow somehow things just seem to fit. That's not to say that this is it; I don't wanna get ahead of myself and I'm not being unrealistic... we're both trying to play it smart ( Read more... )

So, there is another. As usual, I begin to overthink. It's too soon, I know... I should be single for longer... a week is not enough time. And realistically, I know that I will just attach all those feelings I had onto him; I don't want to be in a "rebound relationship", that's not how I operate. But it's hard not to fall hard when you're so ( Read more... )

And so it ends. I will update more later but for now, I just feel empty. In his eyes I called it off, in mine he made it final. I don't believe in blaming someone else for the end of a relationship when they're the ones still trying to keep it together ( Read more... )

( Warning: this post is about sex... Stop reading now if this is T.M.I. )

So here I am again. Sometimes I wonder why I even bother to keep this journal since I obviously no longer update at the rate I used to... but then, after so much time has passed and I revisit my old entries it's nice to see how far I've come or grown or all that I've been through. Since the beginning, this journal has been filled with ups and ( Read more... )