"I'm Sorry"
I'm sorry I said those things.  
Even if they were true.
I'm sorry I told people what really happened.
But I was hurt.
I'm sorry I reached out to others...
But you weren't there.
None of you were.

I don't know why you hate me now.
But I can't let you hurt me anymore.
And I won't.
I don't know why they hate me now.
But if I don't matter, then I ( Read more... )

Not to make him into more than he is... Really.

But this is the email I got from him after I went to bed..."night night princess...

sleep sweet walk with flowers and romance thru your slumber drift to peaceful rest my beautiful baby girl ( Read more... )

And since I've promised to play nice with the children on Fet, I'm about to have a complete and utter breakdown here Nobody's identity protected, gloves are being pulled off.  No nothing.  I'm done ( Read more... )

In the past few years, since I was introduced to the lifestyle, I've had a lot of relationships. I've done a lot of searching both inward and outward. I've watched, I've listened, and on a minimal level, I've participated. I'm not new, yet I'm extremely green. Confused yet? For years, the reason behind all of this, the reason behind being involved ( Read more... )

So I went to class this morning, parked, went to get my booksack/laptop back that I'd put in the trunk last night and it was gone. Somehow in my head I processed this as "I must be losing my mind, guess I didn't put it in there..."

Came home, not in the house.

FUCK. Laptop gone, camera gone, School stuff all gone.

Enter panic OMFG MY LIFE IS OVER mode ( Read more... )

So I never finished my last journal entry and now the oomph is gone out of me to finish it. But the gist of it is, we ended up having oral sex at the play space, I watched them have sex with each other (omg, hawt!) and since he's left, I've been invited to visit them in Virginia for 2 weeks in between summer and fall semesters. Mom and Dad ( Read more... )

I was gonna write this for FL but it just needs to be somewhere more protected.

I know I'm difficult, always have been ... especially when it comes to things I may be afraid of, things I've never done before, things that for one reason or another scare me.

So there I was, single and after the accident (possibly as far back as after I got laid ( Read more... )

So yeah ... I know I haven't talked about my happies yet but life has been soooooo much better than it has been in sooooo long ( Read more... )

xposted ....

Wait, what?

Sometimes you just need to not give a rats ass about being healthy and in order to get my mind right, for the last 2 weeks that's what I've done. Made reasonable choices most of the time, fast food once ... I think. But I've been drinking ... a lot. And having a LOT of fun doing it.

So as a result, I've been avoiding the ( Read more... )

I found out a family member of mine might have colon cancer today.  We don't have any more info ... just that ( Read more... )