No one talk to me.

No, I take that back.

No one talk to me, no one look at me, breathe at me, stand within ten metres of me. And no one - absolutely no one - congratulate me on the recent one year advancement I received towards my final destination.

But comfort I shall gladly take in the knowledge that there are those ahead, oh much ahead of ( Read more... )

*puts Moses down for his afternoon nap and realizes that she has the house completely to herself ( Read more... )

Oh GOD this has been like the WORST SUMMER EVER. I mean, just YESTERDAY I witnessed a HORRIBLE ATROCITY. What is the world COMING TO when I can't just sit at The Ivy and have a PRIVATE MEAL?? Just because it's in FULL VIEW of the WHOLE OF L.A. doesn't mean that people can just STARE at me, RIGHT ( Read more... )

My darling Johnny, it seems we haven't been doing all that well with the whole communication thing.

For example, when I kept going on about "bath", I meant for you to take one, not for us to move there.

And speaking of places to live, would you please inform me where exactly we live? Some sort of decision would be nice, I'm not trying to be ( Read more... )

*walks onto a stage, facing empty seats*
*remembers a time when these seats were filled with celebrities, desperately waiting for their name to be called, in acceptance for an award*

I ain't never been up here before. Have I? Wait...was Under Siege good enough to win me-DAMN YOU JEAN CLAUDE! DAMN YOU TO WHATEVER WRONG HELL YOU BELIEVE IN!!!* ( Read more... )

*sits down at desk*
*notices that someone has stuffed a Hershey wrapper behind the Feng Shui friendly plant that sits in the North Western corner of the desk*
*gets very mad at Chris until she remembers that he is on tour*
*remembers Googling Brangelina a few nights back, getting upset over all the fansites dedicated to them and dipping into the ( Read more... )

So I was like AMAZINGLY bored the other day and I decided to just wander around the house. It wasn't really all that fun because Tom keeps most of the doors locked. I did find the kitchen which was pretty cool looking. And there were these two people in there and I think they might have been cooks. They were wearing dark suits but I mean cooks ( Read more... )

THINGS I HAVE BEEN CALLED IN THE PAST 4 MONTHS: