Well, I had been thinking it was Thursday she had seen this guy. Well, because she had affirmed that when we talked about it but, still. Apparently it was Sunday. Sunday being Father's day Sunday. Which...*sighs* means she lied to me. It's just that simple. She lied to me. At some point during the day when she told me what she was doing or where ( Read more... )

Funny thing they are. They can either be bad or something you have to do when you're trying to trust someone. I've already talked about how she hid the fact that she saw this Austin fucking cocksucker. But I don't know why she wouldn't have told me they talked about "getting together" when he got back from Fayetteville. No solid plans were made ( Read more... )

We had a really good day yesterday. That included a really long and really good talk. I have so many pent up emotions about her that, I don't know if I'll ever gt through them all. *sighs* I hope she fully gets a grasp on what I feel for her someday. I know she's beginning to understand how deep my love for her goes. But I don't know how else to ( Read more... )

Am I just driving myself crazy with the experiences of the past? I'm so concerned about what she might be doing. Who she might be talking to. Today we spent some time together and eventually she had to take care of something for work on her phone. And she never tried to move away from me but, while he phone was open I couldn't stop looking at it. ( Read more... )

The more I learn about Polyamory the more interesting the idea becomes. I can understand the premise of it of course. It's not really hard to wrap your head around. The actual execution? That's where I think I'm falling a little short. I think at the current moment, in the situation that I'm in, the scales are a little unbalanced for their to be a ( Read more... )

Just sucks you right back in. *sighs* Basically asking myself questions.

Anyone know how it is to be terrified to lose someone? Like, you wouldn't know who you would become without them? That's how I feel these days. With everything that's been going on I just feel...scared. I feel like I found something I'm only going to find once in this life and ( Read more... )

An interesting topic I think. One where I have mixed feelings. And thus begins an issue. And I'm trying to land firmly on one side of the issue. At this point, I just want it to be a side.

Where to even begin. Well, I'll take you back to when I got out of the Army. And I met this girl. Nicole, for all purposes we'll use that name. Well, she caught ( Read more... )

Crazy how it's been almost 10 years since I've been on here. Reading through this journal made more aware of how much of my memory I had lost. It's crazy to read over the stuff on here again. All the things that have happened. It honestly feels pretty amazing. Ya know that feeling when you finally find the thing you've been looking all around the ( Read more... )

It's like a circle, ya know? Somehow or another I always find myself in the same situations or in the same ending effect. I don't understand it. Regardless of what I do it seems like everything I do turns out the same way. I had thought perhaps Cortnye had been right. That maybe I just didn't put enough into the relationship. So, when I found ( Read more... )

It's been a long time since I posted here. *looks around* To many memories in this place. And I'm a little old for stuff like this anyways. I have a life to live outside of this little black a blue casing that my laptop fits into. I'm gonna go live it. You guy shave a nice life that still reads this thing. I won't be posting, signing in, or ( Read more... )