I am so frustrated and angry and resentful toward my mother right now.  I know I shouldn't be but I am.  I feel very petty feeling like this but I can't help it.  I almost wish it had been a closed adoption so my mother wouldn't be able to know her.  I want a relationship, not her.  It's not fair that she can just pop in whenever she likes.  I can' ( Read more... )

So depressed.  The weather sucks.  It is definitely a stay in bed day.  It was so hard to get up and get going this morning ( Read more... )

I hate being yelled at for something that is beyond my control.  That is happening because my dad put it off.  He has rescheduled a customer 3 times now-even though we have had everything in stock.  He finally told her he would bring everything up today and would leave here at one (he didn't leave until almost 1:45).

At 2:45 he called me to tell ( Read more... )

( Depressing-you've been warned )

I don't know what to say.  Elle treated me pretty badly today.  She was rude, accusatory, hateful, ungrateful; all those lovely adjectives that describe teenagers so well.  Then she did something that brought me to tears ( Read more... )

Had a big heart to heart tonight with Elle.  It really hurt.  Don't really want to go into it but I shed many tears.  I hate feeling this way.  I feel like such a failure as a parent when it comes to her.  *sigh*  I am proud of myself for staying calm, no yelling, no arguing and I kept most of my tears in check during the conversation-only one or ( Read more... )

I have no idea why after a pretty good day; productive, lots of laughing and fun, sex, knitting-all good stuff-that I am suddenly and deeply sad ( Read more... )

I have been incredibly stressed out and on the verge of tears for the last few days.  I just need a good cry and I'll feel all better.  The weather isn't helping, it has been overcast or raining for the last few days.  Heck today feels more like an early April day than an early June day ( Read more... )

Elle made me cry.  She still hasn't been home since she left a week and a half ago, we've talked a few times, but none longer than 5 minutes, well one that was 8.  It makes me so sad.

Then she texted me this morning, "listen to the best days by taylor swift. i know. horrible singer. but just listen."  I didn't get it until much later, but looked ( Read more... )

Just wrote this to Anne.  We had a discussion and she left before I thought it was done.  Know I prolly shouldn't send it.  The saddest part was that I was trying to stay positive in all this crap and she succeeded in making me feel like shit ( Read more... )