So not being on my meds is not great. Much more emotional and not as easy to hold back. On the plus side I cried. Not much, unfortunately. I really do think I need a good, hard, uncontrolled cry. That is the down side to this need, it stifles my emotions; good and bad. I haven't cried or gotten angry or been joyful or anything. They are all pretty ( Read more... )

I bought a new car yesterday.
On Wednesday night I ran over something in the road and popped both driver side tires on the fusion. That was the last straw for me. Even though the bank had already turned me down for an auto loan because my credit score is only 602 if had enough of the garbage and decided to stuck it up and all Ellie for the money to ( Read more... )

I would rather die!!!!
Nowfor quick vent. I hate our government and taxes. For the first time ever we owe money for taxes! Thanks great orange Cheeto!
We filed an extension in April because we didn't have the $500 they said we owed. Hubby just did them again because ya know, extension over and now it says we owe $1014!
The fuck!?!?! No idea how but ( Read more... )

So down, tired, frustrated, etc. Except not down-depressed. Not tired- exhausted. Not frustrated-angry.

Down-Tom died, hubby is depressed and in pain and I'm helpless to help. My house is a mess. My yard is a jungle.

Tired-emotionally-death and depression suck, physically-I'm gaining weight because I'm eating crap and i know it but the depression ( Read more... )

Once you realize your cats have fleas they have had them for awhile and it's gonna be super hard to get rid of them. I don't wanna have to bathe 4 cats again. They haven't had fleas in years, i have no clue who or how they were brought into the house again.

Working so much helps me avoid things i don't wanna deal with...sadly Tom and his depression ( Read more... )

So Tom informed me last night that Sydney is moving in with Thomas, Ryan and Hunter. I do not think this is going to work. I'm pretty sure it will implode sooner rather than later at this point. I can't see her parents allowing this but they are both adults. I do not like it one bit but if we're lucky it will happen their break-up-fingers crossed.
( Read more... )

So Thomas made it official. He is moving out on the first. He and two friends; Ryan and Hunter, are getting an apartment. Of course he can't tell me the name of it or exactly where it is but i assume it's because he hasn't paid much attention. I'm glad for him, it won't be easy.
I'm looking forward to having the guest/knitting room as move again, ( Read more... )

So i decided to make them goals not resolutions so maybe I'll be able to reach them.

1. Work out 3x a week minimum
2. Get the sugar monkey off my back!
3. Daily gratitudes
4. Get to >200# by Christmas
5. Purge the clutter/stuff in my life and house daily- at least one item per day!
6. Spend less save more
7. Continue eating healthier and logging my food ( Read more... )

The stress that is my life continues.
To catch up:
( Tom stuff )

I'm getting beyond frustrated with Thomas. He is an adult but sure as fuck doesn't act like one. Wants privileges but gives nothing in return. Finally got a job but it's not repaying his debt to me. Is not doing much of anything constructive around the house. His job is third shift so he sleeps all day but when he is at home at night he lays in bed ( Read more... )