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I know it's "eyeballs deep"... I do... but it's funnier as "my balls deep"
LONG BORING EPILOGUE... SO, DID JACOB JUST COMPLETELY SLIP BELLA’S MIND FOR THE LAST FOUR CHAPTERS OR WHAT... NO IT’S COOL, STEPHENIE SHOVED ALL MENTION OF THAT INTO AN EPILOGUE THAT MAY AS WELL BE A WHOLE OTHER CHAPTERLIFE: *blah blah, back to normal, Charlie is mad at Edward but allowing them to date, Edward is back in school, Jacob won’t answer ( Read more... ) -
The movie poster thing is based off a real person. No, seriously. She's 12 though, not 13.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
EDWARD: *runs with Bella on his back*
THIRTEEN YEAR OLD FANGIRLS: I SAW THIS IN THE MOVIE TRAILER AND OMG THE MOVIE THE MOVIE THE MOVIE EDWARD IS SO GORGEOUS I HAVE A POSTER OF HIS FACE IN MY ROOM AND I PUT HEART STICKERS ALL OVER IT.
( Chapter Twenty-Four NO SERIOUSLY WE'RE ALMOST DONE ) -
"Why is there a ninja star in my FREEZER?" "... Why NOT?"
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE OMG YOU GUYS WE’RE ALMOST DONE
EDWARD: Hi, good morning, I watched you sleep.
BELLA: That’s so romantic.
READERS: Or, you know, creepy.
THIRTEEN YEAR OLD FANGIRLS: NOPE, DEFINITELY ROMANTIC!
( Chapter Twenty-three ) -
Prepare yourself, the mushy shit begins again until the end of the book...
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
EDWARD: Hey, you all right?
ALICE: She’ll probably faint again. I swear she has to at least once a chapter or Stephenie Meyer doesn’t meet her damsel in distress quota.
STEPHENIE MEYER: I love writing these books for all the young girls out there who want to lay around waiting to be rescued by men!
( Chapter Twenty-Two ) -
seriously, he's saying "my balls deep in muddy water"
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
VAMPIRES, JANE, EDWARD, BELLA, ALICE: *are in a house or something, after skipping around in the sewers or something*
RANDOM HUMAN WOMAN: Oh, hi Jane.
ONE OF THE VAMPIRES, NAMED FELIX: Sup baby.
HUMAN WOMAN: Teehee!
( Chapter Twenty-one... SO CLOSE TO THE END ) -
I'm so hungry I am currently chewing on my recipes.
CHAPTER TWENTYTHE DRIVE: *slows significantly ( Read more... ) -
I can't even think of anything to put in the subject line. This book wiped my brain clean.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
BELLA: YAY WE MADE THE FLIGHT!
FLIGHT: *is, of course, long and boring*
BELLA: This is torture.
READERS: YOU HAVE NO GODDAMN IDEA.
( Chapter Nineteen ) -
y so srs
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
ALICE: Yo.
BELLA: OMG ALICE YAY.
ALICE; Whoa, wtf, calm down, would you? I’m hungry so stop hugging me.
( Chapter Seventeen )
