CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
EDWARD: Hey, you all right?
ALICE: She’ll probably faint again. I swear she has to at least once a chapter or Stephenie Meyer doesn’t meet her damsel in distress quota.
STEPHENIE MEYER: I love writing these books for all the young girls out there who want to lay around waiting to be rescued by men!
BELLA: I hear a strange sound. Oh! That sound is me. Stephenie uses this “something happened and it confused me until I realized I did it” form of first-person writing a little too much.
ALICE: Edward, you should slap her.
READERS: ... I like where she’s going with this.
EDWARD: It’s okay my darling, I’ll protect you!
BELLA: Those vampires are going to eat those ton of people!
EDWARD: Yeah, they do that.
BELLA: Oh, holy crap, Edward, it’s you! OH I’VE MISSED YOU MY GLITTERING ADONIS.
EDWARD: We are safe and together! I love you!
BELLA: I LOVE YOU MORE.
READERS: I have not missed this.
ALICE: Ugh, neither have I. BRB, stealing another car.
MORE STUFF: *happens, it’s boring, mostly has to do with Bella drinking coke*
(later, once they fly back to wherever)
ESMA: Edward, I could kill you right now.
EDWARD: My bad.
ROSALIE: Hi Bella. Sorry I hated you in the last book, I like you now. My bad.
CHARLIE: What the... BELLA? WTF EDWARD?! GTFO, you ass.
BELLA: Dad, be mad at ME.
CHARLIE: I’M GETTING TO THAT.
EDWARD: It’s cool, I’ll just take Bella up to bed and leave. I’ll stay close though and may or may not watch watch her sleep.
CHARLIE: Dick.
END OF CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
END NOTE: *isn't here for this chapter... ha*
Back to chapter one!